Jam and Marmalade
by Kei



AN: Eeks! I'm back from my nice long break. Thanks for all the encouragement, everyone! I love all my reviewers, you truly do help me. *sparkles* Is this making me sound like Yukino from Kare Kano? o_o I hope not, haha. But I do really appreciate all your comments and so on.

I'm sorry if a lot of the characters seem OOC, especially Sesshoumaru. I'm trying to make him seem more... I dunno, human? And Rin is the same age as Sesshy. HE IS NOT A CHILD MOLESTER! u_u;

And also, some scenes may seem repetitive of those in other chapters, but I'm just trying to make comparisons without flat out saying them. That annoys me. Haha.

So, here am I, with another (hopefully long awaited x_x) chapter of Jam and Marmalade!


Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor

Kei's personal zombie man: Brrraaaaaiiiinnnnnnsssss. Kei: Review or I'll sic this guy on ya. *evil laughter*

Disclaimer: I'm gonna steal 'em someday. But right now...yeah.


Chapter Ten: Secrets

Kojima High school's library was a quaint old building nestled in the school's center courtyard, surrounded by little Garden Club-kept gardens, and a few park benches for doing homework on. It was a quiet place, since it housed mostly ancient dust-covered books, and nobody but the scholarly spent much time there. Kagome has taken to it immediately, and she spent much of the time she waited for Sesshoumaru to get back from kendo practice there, reading a book.


That afternoon, however, she hadn't even touched a single page of homework or a book. She was far too distracted, her curiosity growing her internal denial of the fact she was nearly dying to know about this Rin person, whoever she may be.


What had she done that was so horrible?



Everyone treated the name as if it were a disease. The "if we speak not of it, it shall not come to us" mentality. Inuyasha's reaction had surprised Kagome to no end. She knew he had a rough exterior, and didn't take to most people easily, but it wasn't like him to snap about someone in that way, except for his brother on instances.


Sesshoumaru was the complete opposite. The way he had said her name and the way he had kissed her couldn't have
been anything but... tender. Kagome blushed at the memory, but she surprised herself as a tiny bit of jealousy sparked inside her, but she shook it off.


It's not like I have feelings for the guy, so why do I care? Just don't think about it
, Kagome mentally reminded herself.


And then it hit her. She couldn't just "not think about it." She knew almost nothing about Sesshoumaru. Kagome had basically been thrown in an apartment with a mysterious, ice-cold male. A guy who had an intriguingly vague past. She couldn't help herself, she had to wonder and speculate. It was her nature. But at the same time, she had the feeling that she was being pulled into things out of her control, against her will.


In one way, she was like Sesshoumaru. They both liked to be in control.



They were both losing it.

+ + +


Two hours later, after Kendo practiced had ended, Sesshoumaru entered the courtyard and walked down the sidewalk to the library, when her spotted Kagome, asleep on a bench. She had obviously wandered out of the library and-- intentionally or non-intentionally-- dozed off.


It wasn't surprising, though. The late afternoon was still a bit warm, and the comforting scent or blooming flowers wafted in the air. The late April sky was just starting to turn a slight pink with sunset, and as Sesshoumaru noticed, brought out the color in Kagome's cheeks and lips, turning them an even more luscious rose hue.


Her dark thick lashes and raven hair contrasted prettily with her delicate skin, creating the image of a porcelain doll, especially with her small, graceful figure.


Sesshoumaru gazed down at her, musing for a second, his eyes unreadable. Then, almost before he knew what he was doing himself, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, a light feather of a kiss. he pulled away from the sleeping girl, gazing at her thoughtfully, then gently swept her up into his arms, carefully making sure he didn't wake her.


As he started carrying Kagome inside, he grinned sardonically to himself.



I said I'd never fall in love with anyone again, but here I am, falling like a fool.


+ + +


"Geez, where the hell is that yarou?" grumbled Inuyasha, stomping through the deserted halls of the school looking for his missing-in-action brother.


After demanding his whereabouts from the remaining kendo club members, and checking each and every room he'd figure Sesshoumaru could be in, he was about to give up when he spotted long silver hair nearly identical to his own, bobbing down the hallway. Inuyasha jogged to catch up with his half-brother, and as he spotted Kagome asleep in his arms, he shouted accusingly, "What'd you do to her?"


Sesshoumaru, not the least bit surprised or amused by his outburst respond coldly, "She's sleeping, you moron, keep it down. I did absolutely nothing to her. I'm not sure when I became the doer of all evil, but could you kindly get the notion out of your head?"


"Then where are you taking her?"


"Home, you utter idiot."


Inuyasha grumbled not-so-nice things about his brother under his breath, but soon got over it and got to business.


"You know that she knows about Rin, right?" When his brother nodded curtly, he continued. "Are you going to tell her?"


"And why exactly would I do that?"


"Well, gee," he explained as if to a complete moron, "I don't know. Maybe because they have practically the same personalities, almost the same background; don't you think she'd want to know about someone so freakin' similar to her? And, about what she did?"


The icy glare that he received would have made any normal person pee in their pants, but not Inuyasha.


"Do not treat them as the same person. I think you, no matter how slow you may be, can figure that out, considering you are heads over heels in love with her. Or, are you still not over Kikyou? But I'm guessing, since they have the same looks, it doesn't matter to you.


And second of all, Rin didn't kill herself because of that. Why do you continue to believe your father's lies? He is the reason she committed suicide; he drove her to the edge and over it!"


"And why do you keep holding on to this image of Rin as an innocent little school girl? She cheated on you! She was a fuckin' whore!"


Before Inuyasha could even react, Sesshoumaru had shifted Kagome to his left arm and punched Inuyasha hard in the solar plexus. He stumbled back, leaning into the wall as he struggled to catch his breath.


The jolt woke Kagome up, and she blinked, clearing the fog from her head and blinking as her eyes focused. She blinked again in surprise as she noticed that, one, she was being held by Sesshoumaru, and two, Inuyasha was doubled over, gasping for breath and sending death glares at his brother.


"Anooo.., what happened?" she spoke up. "Inuyasha, what happened to you? Are you alright?"


Since Inuyasha was currently unable to respond, Sesshoumaru shrugged nonchalantly and answered for him.


"We're just having a little argument about an old friend of ours. He's fine. Let's go."


She looked between the two, meeting Inuyasha's glare with an apologetic look of her own, then she followed Sesshoumaru down the hall.


+ + +


Sango and Miroku had been innocently making out in the small grove of trees next to the school when Inuyasha barged through, shouting obscenities. The two quickly pulled apart, Miroku wiping the lipstick off his face, and trying not to sound as annoyed as he really was, inquired, "So, how'd it go?"


"The son of bitch had a complete hernia about it, and I ended up getting the wind knocked outta me 'cause I pissed him off," Inuyasha growled, oblivious to the looks he was getting that clearly said "well, duh, you idiot."


The three looked up as they heard Kagome's voice waft through the air as she walked down the front path with Sesshoumaru. Since they were already there, they decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to look in on the two. Sango stealthily sneaked to where she could see and hear them better, and Inuyasha and Miroku followed lead, where they crouched and watched intently.


The two paused on the sidewalk as Kagome asked, hesitantly and uncertainly, unable to contain her curiosity, "Where you guys arguing about, you know... Rin?"


Sesshoumaru glanced down at her for a second, surprised she'd actually asked, but at the same time, looked at her with dread, because he knew she'd have done it sooner or later. He sighed softly and nodded.


"...Well, where is she now?"


"She died two years ago. Suicide."


"Oh, God, I'm really sorry.... I never knew," Kagome stuttered apologetically.


"Don't be. You couldn't have know, and what's past is past."


Kagome looked up at him silently, following behind him as he started walking again. After a long thoughtful silence, she spoke up again.


"But the past is exactly what's hurting you, right?"


He stopped again, turning away from her for a second. It almost scared him how perceptive she could be. Kagome could read his mind with a single glance, as much as he tried to stay emotionless, betraying nothing on his face. She could see past the flesh and right to his heart. It wasn't a comforting thought to most, but it made him feel as though he could trust her, no matter what.


And so he nodded once as he resumed walking once again and said, "We'll talk about it when we get home."


Inuyasha, back in the bushes, repeated in a harsh whisper, " 'When we get home'? What the hell's he talking about?"


He never got his answer. The three snoopers all gaped as Kagome, who had caught up with Sesshoumaru, took his hand in her own in a friendly gesture. He looked down at her with a questioningly look, but it soon turned to a small grin as he squeezed her hand in his own and they walked off hand in hand, talking between themselves.


"It might be just me, but I think there's something going on here that we don't know about," blinked Miroku.


"Oh, it's not just you," Inuyasha growled.


Sango merely quirked an eyebrow and made a mental note.


+ + +


"I'd known her ever since preschool," Sesshoumaru started, sitting down on the couch next to Kagome with a small sigh. "Her family wasn't as well off as mine. Her father actually worked for mine. The only reason I ever met her as because my father was too cheap to send me to private school."


"Aa, your dad is is the president of Makino Corporation, right? I remember someone telling me that," Kagome asked.


"Yes... he didn't like Rin's father much, but he was a productive worker, so he tolerated him. He told me not to associate Rin or any of her family because they were 'below' me. I never obeyed him, since she was the only real friend I ever had. All of the other kids were always either scared of me or thought that I was snobbish.


At first he would just warn me to keep away from her. That soon turning into beatings as I disobeyed him more and more. They grew harsher with each time. He fired Rin's father; I still didn't listen to him. I was a complete idiot, heads over heels with her. I didn't realise how much I was really hurting her, and how I going to hurt her in the future. All I wanted to do was be near her. I thought that we could make it through everything; I thought I could protect her, even though we were both only 15."


Sesshoumaru paused, looking down at his clasped hands as his thick hair shadowed his face.


"My father knew it. He started spreading rumors about her family, and when he got fed up with me, he then started rumors about her. He said that she was sleeping around... that she was cheating on me... all kinds of things. Everyone believed his lies. No one knew the truth; no one would believe us. If my father thought that it happened, then of course, no one would go against him.


Rin couldn't take it any longer. It was completely killing her inside. I was there when she jumped. She told me it wasn't my fault, that the times we'd had together were fun.... and that she loved me. Then she jumped. I was too late, I couldn't catch her. It was all over.


I was so mad at myself. I'd killed her. My father had killed her. We were murderers. My own selfishness had brought her demise. I was so cruel, and I had never even admitted to her that I loved her too. And even through all of that, I couldn't cry. I saw her body lowered into a hole in the cold ground, never to be seen again, and I couldn't. Not even a single tear," Sesshoumaru broke off shakily, his eyes still downcast.


Kagome's own eyes were wet with tears, after listening to his story. She whispered, "It's alright, everything will be alright."


Two fat tear drops splashed on Sesshoumaru's clasped hands, and his eyes widened as he realised that those tears were indeed not Kagome's, but his own. He started crying in earnest, tears streaming down his face, and soon he was sobbing; low hiccupping sobs that told the anguish and loneliness of the past 3 years of his life.


Taking his head in her lap, Kagome stroked his hair comfortingly, tears overflowing and soaking his silver hair.


"Shhh. It's okay, I know I know."


Glossary:
yarou = jerk, asshole
ano = umm, errr

AN: *bawls her eyes out* ;_; I'm sorry for such a depressing chapter. (AGAIN.) I can only write really good depressing stuff, not good happy stuff. What a curse. x_X;

And I'm sorry for OOCness. And also making you wait so long for this chapter. I had insanely bad perfectionism/writer's block. Next chapter will have funny stuff, I promise!

See you next time! ^-^ ~Kei