The Reaction
A/N: I love thesauruses! I had no idea what a 'banal euphamism' was a couple minutes ago!
"Parvati!" Lavender screeched. "You're picture's in the paper!"
"Where?" Parvati flew through the room, half her hair in rollers, knocking down a guy with a clipboard. "Let me-Oh, Lavender, you ditz, that's Padma." She dropped the paper on the table, and was halfway back to the styling chair when she screamed, "Padma!"
They huddled around the paper, with the rest of the models getting ready for the photo shoot previewing the Spring Teen Witch Weekly line, and the slightly bruised clip-board guy.
"Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger were abducted from their homes and places of business last Thursday. It was originally suspected that there was no ransom note, but one was found stuck up Ms. Granger's chimney. It listed the kidnapper's only demand-" Lavender gasped. "Was Ms. Padma Patil's consent to marry."
They all looked at Parvati, who was pale with shock. Lavender continued reading. "He goes on to describe himself as tall, blonde, and muscular, and his hobbies are long walks on the beach and fruitless attempts at world-domination. He is also a non-smoker, and a Libra with a dogmatic type-A personality. The note was signed, Draco Malfoy"
"NO!" Blaise Zabini cried. "He said he was going to marry me once he got back from Yemen!"
"Honey," Laura said gently. "He hasn't been in Yemen."
"Dammit!" Blaise shouted. "And it even sounded like a real country!"
"The families of Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger had this to comment, "PADMA MARRY THE DARN FOOL! The family of Harry Potter urges her to take her time, and told the Daily Prophet's reporters to never contact them again." Lavender finished.
"I can't believe this!" Parvati anguished. "We look exactly the same, why's he want her?!?"
Why indeed? Perhaps because of her vast knowledge. Perhaps because she was a very successful and prominent professor at Hogwarts by now. Perhaps because she looked exactly like Parvati, but Malfoy figured he had a better shot with-
"No! No! No!" Draco shouted. "I want Padma because she never liked me!"
"I never liked you either." Hermione asserted.
"And look," Draco couldn't suppress a grin. "I got you, didn't I?"
Despite his obvious lack of a good sense of humor and knowledge of many stories where the villain was foiled because he revealed his plan to his captured victims, prematurely believing his plan was fool-proof, Draco decided to explain further.
"All through Hogwarts, I knew all the Slytherin's adored me. And it was hard to miss Hermione and Ginny's affections. And pretty soon, the whole female population was pining away for me, or at least calling me hot. But pretty soon I realized, there was one girl who I never saw staring at me in the Great Hall. Who never bumped into me after classes 'accidentally.' She wasn't as bad as you, Granger, hiding in the library all the time, but she was smart. She cared nothing about my looks. She was that mythical girl who actually didn't care about looks, but what was on the inside."
"Who is he talking to?" Ron asked.
"I don't know, I learned to tune him out several years ago." Hermione sighed.
"I know you were listening to me fill the bath that one night in the prefect's bathroom when you thought I didn't see you behind the towels..." Draco smirked even wider, enjoying the way her face complimented Ron's hair.
"I did not!" Hermione huffed indignantly, still turning redder. "Anyway, I was smarter than Padma-"
"Actually, she was just as smart as you, only she wasn't as much of a show-off, so less people knew about her."
"Little whore." Hermione muttered.
"So," Draco continued, talking to people Harry, Hermione, and Ron couldn't see. "Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah..."
"Now we can make our escape!" Harry whispered to the other two. While Draco had been talking, they had been quietly rocking their shatterproof blocks back and forth, as to round down the edges. They were now contained in shatter-proof glass orbs, and began to roll towards the exit, which was conveniently big enough for them.
Draco stopped talking for a moment to catch his breath, then froze. He no longer heard the snide comments or groans of boredom from his captives. He spun around and shrieked.
"No! You guys can't escape, you'll foil my first big evil plan!"
"Well, okay-" Ron started to slow down, but Harry hit him from behind.
"Get going, dumbass!"
"Manicotti! Ravioli! Tortellini! Get them!" Draco shouted, finally taking charge.
"I wonder who Manicotti, Tortellini, and Ravioli are?" Ron wondered, upside down and completely unaware of the fact.
"Perhaps it's a banal euphemism for some Itallian thugs who shall stop us?" Harry guessed.
"You guys read too much into things." Draco muttered.
Three large pieces of pasta waddled over and grabbed the now shatter-proof glass bubbles.
A/N: I love thesauruses! I had no idea what a 'banal euphamism' was a couple minutes ago!
"Parvati!" Lavender screeched. "You're picture's in the paper!"
"Where?" Parvati flew through the room, half her hair in rollers, knocking down a guy with a clipboard. "Let me-Oh, Lavender, you ditz, that's Padma." She dropped the paper on the table, and was halfway back to the styling chair when she screamed, "Padma!"
They huddled around the paper, with the rest of the models getting ready for the photo shoot previewing the Spring Teen Witch Weekly line, and the slightly bruised clip-board guy.
"Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger were abducted from their homes and places of business last Thursday. It was originally suspected that there was no ransom note, but one was found stuck up Ms. Granger's chimney. It listed the kidnapper's only demand-" Lavender gasped. "Was Ms. Padma Patil's consent to marry."
They all looked at Parvati, who was pale with shock. Lavender continued reading. "He goes on to describe himself as tall, blonde, and muscular, and his hobbies are long walks on the beach and fruitless attempts at world-domination. He is also a non-smoker, and a Libra with a dogmatic type-A personality. The note was signed, Draco Malfoy"
"NO!" Blaise Zabini cried. "He said he was going to marry me once he got back from Yemen!"
"Honey," Laura said gently. "He hasn't been in Yemen."
"Dammit!" Blaise shouted. "And it even sounded like a real country!"
"The families of Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger had this to comment, "PADMA MARRY THE DARN FOOL! The family of Harry Potter urges her to take her time, and told the Daily Prophet's reporters to never contact them again." Lavender finished.
"I can't believe this!" Parvati anguished. "We look exactly the same, why's he want her?!?"
Why indeed? Perhaps because of her vast knowledge. Perhaps because she was a very successful and prominent professor at Hogwarts by now. Perhaps because she looked exactly like Parvati, but Malfoy figured he had a better shot with-
"No! No! No!" Draco shouted. "I want Padma because she never liked me!"
"I never liked you either." Hermione asserted.
"And look," Draco couldn't suppress a grin. "I got you, didn't I?"
Despite his obvious lack of a good sense of humor and knowledge of many stories where the villain was foiled because he revealed his plan to his captured victims, prematurely believing his plan was fool-proof, Draco decided to explain further.
"All through Hogwarts, I knew all the Slytherin's adored me. And it was hard to miss Hermione and Ginny's affections. And pretty soon, the whole female population was pining away for me, or at least calling me hot. But pretty soon I realized, there was one girl who I never saw staring at me in the Great Hall. Who never bumped into me after classes 'accidentally.' She wasn't as bad as you, Granger, hiding in the library all the time, but she was smart. She cared nothing about my looks. She was that mythical girl who actually didn't care about looks, but what was on the inside."
"Who is he talking to?" Ron asked.
"I don't know, I learned to tune him out several years ago." Hermione sighed.
"I know you were listening to me fill the bath that one night in the prefect's bathroom when you thought I didn't see you behind the towels..." Draco smirked even wider, enjoying the way her face complimented Ron's hair.
"I did not!" Hermione huffed indignantly, still turning redder. "Anyway, I was smarter than Padma-"
"Actually, she was just as smart as you, only she wasn't as much of a show-off, so less people knew about her."
"Little whore." Hermione muttered.
"So," Draco continued, talking to people Harry, Hermione, and Ron couldn't see. "Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah..."
"Now we can make our escape!" Harry whispered to the other two. While Draco had been talking, they had been quietly rocking their shatterproof blocks back and forth, as to round down the edges. They were now contained in shatter-proof glass orbs, and began to roll towards the exit, which was conveniently big enough for them.
Draco stopped talking for a moment to catch his breath, then froze. He no longer heard the snide comments or groans of boredom from his captives. He spun around and shrieked.
"No! You guys can't escape, you'll foil my first big evil plan!"
"Well, okay-" Ron started to slow down, but Harry hit him from behind.
"Get going, dumbass!"
"Manicotti! Ravioli! Tortellini! Get them!" Draco shouted, finally taking charge.
"I wonder who Manicotti, Tortellini, and Ravioli are?" Ron wondered, upside down and completely unaware of the fact.
"Perhaps it's a banal euphemism for some Itallian thugs who shall stop us?" Harry guessed.
"You guys read too much into things." Draco muttered.
Three large pieces of pasta waddled over and grabbed the now shatter-proof glass bubbles.
