The Wedding

A/N: This thing just keeps getting stranger on me...I mean seriously, when would Percy and Padma have hung out?

"Do you, Draco Cecil Malfoy-"

"Cecil." Ron sniggered. "Harry!" He poked him. "Draco's middle name is Cecil!"

"Ahem." The Justice scowled at Ron before continuing. "Do you, Draco Cecil-" He paused, glaring at Ron, daring him to laugh again. He did. "Malfoy, do you take Padma Parvati Patil as your forcibly wedded wife? In sickness and in-"

"Yeah, I do, we don't need the rest of that crap, I know you get paid by the hour." Draco glared contemptuously at the old man, who merely sighed before turning to Padma.

"Do you, Padma Parvati Patil-"

"Hey! Harry!" Ron poked him again. "Padma's middle name is her sister's name! D'you think her parents planned that?" Seeing Harry was trying his hardest to not pay any attention to Ron, he poked him harder. "Hey, her initials are PPP, we should start calling her P-Cube or something-"

Harry turned finally and beat Ron unconscious with a chair, garnering aplause from the small group that had gathered.

"Thank you. Do you, Padma Parvati Patil, take Draco Cecil Malfoy as your forcibly wedded husband?"

"Yeah, since I have to be the noble one..." Padma sighed, nodding.

"Fine. I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride-er, only if you both want to." The Justice added as Padma sent him a death glare.

"So, we're married now?" She asked Draco.

"Yep!" Draco grinned, pulling her towards him in a tight embrace. She pulled a can of mace out of her purse and spritzed it in his eyes before turning back to the judge.

"In that case, I'd like to ask for an annulment before you leave, Justice."

"What?" Draco shouted, still rubbing his eyes. "You can't! I said you had to marry me to make me release them-"

"You only said I had to marry you, you didn't say I had to stay married to you!" She cried triumphantly.

"But...but..." Draco whimpered, his eyes filling with tears. "Damn mace..."

"I'm afraid she's got you there." A lawyer friend of Padma's spoke up.

"Yeah, drop dead, punk." Padma laughed as everyone cheered. "I'm in love with Remus Lupin."

"Right on, sister!" Parvati cried. "Older men! Yeah!"

Padma sighed. "No, I like him because he's a soulful, tortured genius trapped in his own mind-"

"Yeah, and his brown hair and beautiful gray eyes had nothing to do with it, right?" Lavender laughed.

"Haven't you been reading the story?" Padma yelled. "I don't care about what's on the outside! That's why Draco made me marry him!"

The models stared at her.

"Omigod, you like, serious?" Blaise asked.

"No, she likes Remus, can't you get it straight?"

Padma shook her head. "Do you ever feel like you're fighting a losing battle against a force much stupider than you?" She asked Percy.

"Yes."

"Good, I'm not the only one."