Disclaimer: I don't own that's 70's Show or the characters that are on it. Summary: This is a point of view by the characters over the latest current events; the first one would be Hyde's point of view. Authors Note: Please be kind and, uh, don't flame. Read and Review, anything that would make it a better story don't be afraid to point out. Enjoy.

Well I don't love you, the words hung mockingly like a dark cloud hovering just above my head. The ceiling was my only friend; Fez would go on and on about candy or how horny he was. Eric had been at the end of a bad breakup but, he still had the woman he loved so Eric was ruled out. Kelso wasn't even consider, it was his pestering that fed to my insecurity; which resulted in my stupidly acting before knowing all the facts. Kelso didn't hold a gun to my head and make me cheat; I foolishly did it on my own, I don't even remember the nurse's name.

Edna was right I was just like Bud, an asshole of a man-a loser who ran when life got tough. Not willing to fight for what I loved more than anything in the entire world: Jackie Burkhart.

I not one to show my emotions, I tend to keep things bottle up. Take on the art of Zen was my motto; never let the world in and you never get hurt. This is bull when you think about since I have nothing but crap sent in my direction. Bud leaving when I was only eight, Edna hitting the bottle and bringing strange men into the house. Edna beating me because she was so drunk and I looked funny to her. Edna leaving me to fend for myself-then almost starving if it hadn't been for Eric. Then Bud making reappearance in my life just too quickly vanish from it again. Oh yeah and the whole "get off my boyfriend" was just bundles of fun.

And if I thought that whole horrifying fiasco of "get off my boyfriend" was rancid; this is 10x the magnitude of that mess. The pain is greater than I could ever know. Then it felt like someone ripped out my heart straight out of my chest. Stomped on it ran it over a few times with a tank, and then a bunch of vultures came to pick at my heart's dead carcass. That what then-this is now; that was baby pain compared to this what I feel now.

What really hurts is seeing the hurt I cause Jackie. I keep picturing her face when I told her, about my horrible mistake; my horrible-stupid-ruin-my- life mistake.

When ever Kelso cheated with his usual slut, he left her crying in heartbreak. I was the one she would turn to-the one boy she could trust to not take advantage of her. When the asshole cheated with Laurie and Jackie found out, for some reason I wanted to punch his lights out. Maybe that's why I decked Chip (Jackie's fake date to the Forman's Veteran barbeque to make me jealous) because he would hurt her and I would be dammed if I let that happen.

Just between you and me, I was a twinge of jealously that made me deck him as well.

Kelso was an asshole, no let me rephrase that he is an asshole. I can say this of course because I'm one of his older and best friends.

He just couldn't let her be happy; when they were a couple he either was cheating or doing something incredibly stupid. Either way he broke her heart so many times that I have lost count. I used to think I was better- now I know I'm as much as a dumbass as Kelso; maybe even more.

Kelso was always the dark spot in our relationship, even in the beginning. Just when we were making out in Forman's basement to pass the boring summer, I would worry that she was passing the time until he return from whoring around California.

I was addicted to Jackie and our routine going into the second week. The ways are body clicked together, how the time would speed up just when I wanted it to slow down. Jackie was my new high; I would become drunk on her smell alone. The right amount of perfume and shampoo tickling my senses giving me a surreal feeling that I couldn't explain. Now, I know that I was flying-or maybe a better way to explain it I was falling head over heels in love. Her mere touch sent electrocutes flowing through my entire system; her kisses were so intoxicating that I would stay up late at night just reflecting on them.

I going crazy with my Jackie withdraw, I miss her so badly. Now all I need is a time machine to repair the damage that I caused; okay now to think realistic. I have to do what ever I can to get her back because; I don't know how I can live without her.