A Suikoden III Short. Usual disclaimers apply.
Main Characters: Mel, Branky and Borus
Pairings Warning: One-sided Branky/Borus
Chapters Read: Up to Chapter 4, after setting up in Homeland
Explanation: Inspired by a single line of dialogue from Mel: "Branky says she likes Sir Borus. It would be nice if Branky could speak with him…"
~ * Problem Puppet * ~
Borus strode into the inn, making a beeline for the mess hall. The golden-haired knight had just been dismissed from the team after accompanying the new Flame Champion on a training trip and was famished. Leave it to a Grassie brat to drag him all the way to Mt. Senai and back, hardly giving him any healing medicine to treat his wounds when the monsters attacked, and then dump him off as soon as he got back.
It wouldn't have bothered him if he hadn't seen that his replacement in the group was one of those accused welcome-basket dogs.
"I'll never understand Grasslanders," he muttered.
At least hopefully now he'd be able to get a decent meal. Borus just hoped that this establishment offered a nice selection of wine… somehow he doubted it, but it would certainly brighten this terrible day he'd been having so far…
"Why, hello there, handsome! Hee hee hee hee!"
Borus stopped in his tracks, blinked, and looked around for the source of the voice. Turning around, he glared at the person behind him.
"That had better not have been you," he growled.
"H-heavens no, of course not!" Sebastian quailed behind his desk and mopped his brow. "Perish the thought, sir!"
"…Good."
Borus slowly turned away, keeping one dark amber eye trained suspiciously on the portly butler.
"Hee hee hee hee! Hey, don't insult me, hot stuff!"
Borus whipped around again, and this time noticed another occupant of the room: a young girl in blue with a ribbon crowning her short brown hair. She smiled, tan eyes alight, and Borus smiled slightly in return.
"Oh, hello," he turned to face her, relief evident in his greeting. "Sorry about that, Miss…"
"It's Mel," the girl replied, blushing a bit.
"Ah, Mel, then…"
"And I'm Branky!" piped a voice exactly like the one he had first heard. "Hee hee hee hee hee!"
Dead silence filled the room as Borus stared at the black-and-white puppet on the girl's right hand. It seemed to gaze right back up at him, beady blue eyes glittering wolfishly. For a second, he almost thought the doll winked at him. Blinking, he quickly shook his head and assured himself his mind was playing tricks on him.
"Ah… So you're a ventriloquist, then?" he asked, smiling nervously at Mel.
She scowled and shook her head.
"Why does everyone say that?" she complained. Glaring at her doll, she said, "Honestly, Branky, you have no manners whatsoever!"
"Hee hee hee!" the puppet chortled. Turning its head towards Borus, it leered, "So, what's a handsome knight like you doing in a place like this?"
"Um…" At a loss for what to do, Borus pointed weakly at the mess hall. "I was just… going to get… something to eat…"
"Hee hee! Sorry, but I don't think they serve meals for guys like you here!"
"W-what?! What is that supposed to mean?" demanded Borus, his famous rage getting the better of him, rounding on Branky while trying to ignore the little voice in the back of his head wailing that he was talking to a doll that wasn't of the human variety, either.
"You know what they say, you are what you eat, and they don't serve beefcake here!"
"What?"
"You're a beefcake, Borus baby! B-E-E-F-C-A-K-E!! Hee hee!"
Borus blinked. Then he blushed as it sank in.
"…Um…yeah," he said awkwardly, his inner psyche moaning that he was getting hit on by a puppet of all things.
"Branky! Behave!" Mel shouted, looking thoroughly scandalized.
Incidentally, Sebastian also looked quite mortified himself, although the portly butler was trying to act as if he wasn't paying any attention whatsoever to the odd conversation.
"…Well, I… I think I'll go… Maybe I should just get something at the café instead," Borus finally decided after a very awkward pause.
He turned away, smiling nervously, trying to keep some knightly dignity. However, that was completely abandoned when he suddenly let out a yelp, going ramrod straight and covering his rear with both hands.
Turning around, he saw a red-faced Mel pointing furiously at Branky with her free hand. The puppet just grinned predatorily, shaking with demented laughter.
Borus sweated, keeping the nervous grin plastered on his now crimson face as he edged backward toward the doorway. Upon reaching it, he turned and bolted, slamming the door behind him. Propping it shut, he heard a loud commotion from inside.
"I can't believe how horrid you acted! Bad Branky!"
A loud pounding erupted inside, and Branky began to squeal loudly.
"Ow! Ow! I'm not, ow sorry! Ow! It was, ow, worth, ow, it! Hee hee… OW!!!"
Borus sweated.
"At least now I have a story to beat out Percival with the 'weirdest fangirl ever' thing…" he muttered.
