Kid Blink Discovers Fandom

Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies… or Beth… or Turtle, but I do own myself!

Warning: Blatant self-insertion. References to slash. Mary-sues and a few other horrible things that go along with horrible fanfiction.

Sorry, but it had to be written. The plot bunnies, which had pancakes on their heads and resembled the one in Holy Grail, were starting to eat me alive. If you don't die from irony poisoning or shear shock, I'll see you at the end of the chapter!

"You think that some one would have noticed that we just drove a Dogde Intrepid into 1899 New York City," I laughed as I stepped out of my car into the alleyway. I had chosen an alleyway to park in because everything happens in alleyways, but I was now regretting my decision. We were having trouble opening the car doors in the tight space.

"Maybe people in this time period had... I mean, have very short attention spans," said Turtle as she squeezed her way out of the back seat. I shot a smirk in the direction of the last passenger, Beth.

"I told you it would work," I told her. She just shrugged and made a feeble attempt to wipe the fresh mud of her shoes. Turtle throwing all the junk that had falling onto the ground back into my car.

"You should really clean your car," Turtle lectured. She pushed a piece of brown hair behind her ear.

"Duly noted. Now where's that clip board?" I dug through the trunk, which was fully packed with all the supplies I would need if I ever ended up on a desert island driving in my car. There was almost enough sand in my car to make up a whole island assuming the island was willing to be the width and length of my car. "I got it!" I stood up hitting my head on the trunk.

"Smooth, Kate," Beth told me. Turtle and I both gasped since it was the first time Beth had spoken all day, which was how we got her to come on our incurable mission. Actually, no. We hog-tied her and stuck her in the passenger's seat. "What are we waiting for?" Beth was looking impatient, and I figured it would not be the best thing to make a black belt in Tae Kwon Doe angry.

"I call Racetrack!" Turtle said as she skipped out of the alley. She shielded her eyes from the sudden attack of light that the street didn't shade.

"No one is calling anyone," I remarked shaking my finger at her, "This is purely a research mission. I want to be able to write the most realistic fanfiction ever!" I let out an evil cackle, which caused Beth to glare at me in the most intimidating way. "On to the lodging house."

By the time we got to the lodging house, all the newsies had already left. We shouldn't have been too surprised since it was one o'clock according to my watch. Although I'm not sure how reliable digital watches are when you take them into the past. Our next stop was the Brooklyn docks, which was filled with Newsies but entirely lack of Spot Conlon.

"I'm bored," Beth growled.

"Nobody asked you to come," I said with a laugh.

"Kate!" Turtle tugged on my sleeve.

"Not now," I told her, "I'm looking for that swimmer guy. I want to see if I can catch his name."

"Kate!" she yelled.

"What is it?" Beth shouted back.

"Is this indicator thing on my bracelet supposed to be beeping?" She held her wrist out for me to see.

"Not good. Your invisibility is wearing out."

"Told you that would happen," Beth said, "Don't worry. I have image adapters." She pulled three mood rings out of her pocket and distributed them. "They distort the brain waves of the people around you so they think that you are dressed like a normal person from their time period."

"You're using mind control!" I gasped.

"Not quite yet. I haven't gotten all the kinks out of my hypnotizing beam."

We all suddenly became visible. While we appeared to be wearing regular, 19th century garb, it was still a shock to the newsie standing near us. He let out a scream and throwing himself into the chilling water below.

"Wait!" I called, "I need to know your name!"

"Come on," Turtle grabbed my arm, "We'll try Tibby's next." I struggled against her grasp, but Bethany joined in the game of tug-of-war. She's a lot stronger than me and a good deal of newsies, too.

Tibby's, while containing a few waiters and higher middleclass families, was devoid of newsies. I let out a defeated sigh and slumped down into a chair. Turtle was marveling at the prices, and Beth was pulling out moist towellette packets out of pockets I didn't even know she had.

Our food had already come when I heard the door opening from behind me. I ducked down low in my seat and took a swig of pop. Turtle, who could see the door, cracked into a huge grin and started kicking me.

"Da headlines were horrible taday," the boy behind me was saying. I resisted the urge to turn around and see if I recognized him.

"But youse sell dem real nice, Blink," another voice said, "This is gonna be da first real lunch Ise had in ages." I looked up at Turtle who was pointing at her eye and waving her arms around.

'I'm not stupid,' I mouthed. I finally caved in and turned to see the two boys at the door of Tibby's. When I saw that it was Mush and Kid Blink, I let out a small squeal of delight and clapped my hands together. Beth glared at me.

"I bet they're gay," I smirked shooting a somewhat evil glance in Turtle's direction.

"Bad, Slash!muse, bad."

"I can't take you two any where can I?" Beth said before taking a big bite of hamburger.

So, was it all that painful to read. Okay, so maybe it was. I admit I'm not the best writer in the world. I don't even think I'm good. Some may disagree, but don't listen to them. They're sucking up to me in case I really do become a famous actress some day. Instead, write a review and tell me how horrible the story (and my attempt at creating New York accent) really was.