How am I supposed to say good-bye? I wasn't even here when she left. I come back from Brooklyn and they tell me she's gone.

I cant help it. I wonder what her mom looked like, I bet she was real nice. Not too rich but clean and a really warm smile. I don't clearly remember everything about when I was little but I remember my mom's smell. It was comforting to know every time I hugged her that it was always that same smell. She had a perfume my dad bought her for her birthday, heh I always wanted to wear it and be like her.

My thoughts of my parents are interrupted as I hear a sound other than the rain falling.
I can see Pinch leaving the lodging house. I'm tempted to follow her but I don't have the strength to get up. I'm soaked now, sitting in my nightgown and holding my hair back with my trembling hands.

If I sit out here no one will know I was crying, the rain will wash it all away. I miss Bolt. I miss Momma. God it just brings back all these feelings I thought I had pushed away. I feel so alone, its not the same when you run away and when your parents are killed. I wish they would just come find me and take me home, but they cant. Just let me smell her perfume one more time. Let him wrap his arms around me and hold me. He would whisper "Alexia Rose! You are as beautiful as they come, just like your momma."

The roof is starting to flood a little and I send ripples through it as I rock back and forth crying.

I don't care, I cant go inside. I'll just borrow some of Pinch's night clothes, she'll understand, she always does. I wonder if Race is awake, if that's where Pinch has gone, and if I should have followed in the first place. I need to talk to them, I need someone to listen to me.

I'm strong, I'm Dollface, I'm always going to make it to see another day.

No, the truth is I'm weak, I'm frail, I miss my friend and my family.

I cant stop crying, I feel so emotional and nothing is helping me. I don't want to get up tomorrow and work another day. I just want to hear my fathers voice as he wakes me up to go to school & my mother singing as she cooks breakfast. I'll never hear that again.
How come I never say anything until its too late? They never heard me say I love you, they never heard me thank them. Bolt never heard me say how much she meant to me. She's not dead like my parents but she's gone all the same.