Disclaimer: The author does not claim to own Pizza Hut, Coca-cola, McDonald's, or any of the original material from the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean. Resemblance to any person named Lauren is strictly coincidence. The line of poetry in chapter seven is from a song, "Love Hurts," as recorded by the band Nazareth. I'm not sure who wrote the lyrics, but it wasn't me.
Captain Jack Sparrow stood at the helm of his beloved Black Pearl. An ocean of rum rolled under a silver moon. The moonlight sketched a shimmering path through the waves. A path that he would follow to riches and glory. Jack threw back his head and laughed in delight, thinking of the bucket he could lower over the side to bring up more rum whenever he wanted. Rum stretched to the horizon. He could order the crew to swab the deck with rum ! A sound interrupted his beautiful dream. Jack groaned and stirred in his berth. He kept his eyes closed and willed himself back to sleep.
Too many distractions intruded on his consciousness. His chest rose and fell with the slow, even rhythm of his breathing. Why, then, did his ears pick up the sound of breath coming rapid and shallow from beside and slightly above him ? His long hair was pinned to the mattress. Jack took inventory. That wasn't his arm on his hair. Someone else's arm. Someone else's breathing.
Jack came to the conclusion that someone else was in his berth with him. That could be interesting, he thought. Abandoning the sea of rum, he opened his eyes. Yes, there was definitely someone else there. A young girl, no more than thirteen. That was interesting, all right. Jack absorbed the disappointment. He had hoped, for a moment there.
The girl gazed down at him with big blue eyes. Jack didn't like the look in them. He'd seen that look too many times before. Kohl-rimmed brown stared into innocent blue. Jack blinked first. "Do ye mind, love ?" he said, finally. "Ye're on me hair..."
"Oh !" the girl shifted awkwardly. "Sorry about that." She continued to stare.
"Was there somethin' ye had in mind ?" Jack prompted. That was a poor turn of phrase, he chided himself. Well, she did wake me right out of a lovely dream, he defended himself to himself. Jack paused his internal dialog to check on the intruder. She was still staring. Does she ever blink ? he wondered.
Jack raised an eyebrow encouragingly. The girl in his berth closed her eyes. She's going to blink. Well, that's something, anyway. And lowered her face to his. Not good. She kissed him, hard, her mouth closed tightly. He felt his own lips pressed uncomfortably against his teeth. The girl in his berth withdrew, looked at him. She seemed confused.
"I love you," she said. Jack winced. Those words, inevitably, led to his face being slapped, sooner or later.
"I don't think that's a good idea, love," he suggested. The girl looked confused and disappointed.
"This is a dream, isn't it ?" she asked. Her lip trembled. Not good.
"Well, it might be yer dream, love. Mine was about rum." She pushed away from him, backing across the cabin. That's better, he thought. The blue eyes filled with tears. No, not tears ! Tears led to slapping. His cheek stung with the memory. Jack got up and quickly pulled on a shirt. He buckled his sword belt around his waist. Not that he would use the sword on the girl, but he felt better, now that he was armed. He sat and pulled on his boots. The pirate captain lowered his head, pretending to examine the toe of his left boot. Surreptitiously, he peered at the girl in his cabin through locks of hair and strings of beads.
She was pacing, no longer crying. She seemed to be working herself up to be angry. Tousled blond hair swung around her face as she paced back and forth. She was tall, Jack noted, but thin under her strange, baggy grey clothing. Jack harbored the hope that she wouldn't slap very hard. "Might I have yer name, love ?" he ventured.
"It's Lauren, and don't call me love !" she spat, whirling to face him. "Who do you think you are, anyway ?"
"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, love – Lauren," he replied, cocky, spreading his hands. "Lauren. But I'm thinkin' ye knew that, didn't ye ?"
The tears seemed to be starting again. "You're a dream. Why can't I wake up ? This is not going the way it should !"
Jack considered himself. He held out his arms and looked at them in the dim light from the moon shining through the cabin window. They were solid, which was not really a surprise, but nice all the same. He had been a skeleton before, but no one had ever accused him of being a dream. "Perhaps 'tis ye who are the dream, and I imagined ye," he hazarded. Maybe the ocean was still made of rum.
"I'm real," Lauren protested. "You are a fictional character. From a movie." She cast him a worried look. "You don't think I'm going crazy, do you ?"
"I'm really not the one ye should be askin', love...lass...Lauren." he replied. "What exactly did ye want from me ?" I probably shouldn't have asked her that.
"I'm not sure, now," she said. "I loved you in the movie, you know. I've seen it four times."
"Movie ?" Jack ducked slightly and looked around the cabin suspiciously. The ceiling provided no inspiration.
"Uh, never mind," Lauren said, hurriedly. "Look, pinch me, would you ? I mean, that's the test to see if you're dreaming, right ?" She held out her arm.
Jack wove toward her, reaching out for the offered arm, then drew back, snake-like. "If I pinch, ye won't slap, now, will ye ?" She shook her head. "There's a good girl," he responded, relieved. He reached out and pinched her arm, not too hard. He withdrew quickly and waited for the reaction.
"I don't think I'm dreaming," she replied. "I wrote about you. I don't think I fell asleep, but I must have." Her eyes met his, amazed. "All of a sudden, poof, I was here." She looked very young and scared. "I just want to go home."
"Here's a plan." Jack sketched the air with his fingers spread apart. "All of a sudden, poof, an' ye were in me berth, right ?" Lauren blushed. He continued hastily, before the tears could begin again. "Why don't ye just...poof" his fingers spread, "an' home ye go ?"
"That won't work," the girl retorted, frowning. "I mean, really, how am I supposed to -"
Poof.
Captain Jack Sparrow startled, springing back a step. He turned carefully, arms out, swaying. After a complete turn, he was sure. He was alone in the cabin. Now that was interesting.
