by Kirsten Tapp
Disclaimer: Dark Angel doesn't belong to the author, but to James Cameron, etc. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: What went on between Female Trouble and Haven.
Spoilers: Female Trouble, Haven.
Rating: PG - some graphical violence
Category: Drama, Romance
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Max spent longer on the Space Needle tonight. It had been a trying few days what with Logan hiring Dr Vertes to help him get back the full use of his legs, Jace turning up pregnant and trying to kill Vertes and Lydecker finishing the job himself.
The most disturbing event of the past week was arriving at Fogle Towers after retrieving Logan's file to find his gun lying on his computer desk and the man himself nowhere in sight. Having seen Vertes' comments in his file, Max panicked and had assumed the worst.
She hadn't been able to control her joy at the sight of Logan wheeling himself into the apartment, alive and well. She had been as surprised as Logan had been when she had thrown her arms around him and admitted that she had been scared for him.
Max had expected Logan to laugh at her. After all, a genetically engineered killing machine being scared was pretty amusing. But instead he had held her and told her everything was going to be ok. He had comforted her, but he hadn't told her what he had really been about to do when Mrs Moreno had, had her accident. Nor had he told her what had changed his mind.
Once again fear gripped at Max's heart. She had accepted that Logan would be alright, but now part of her needed to be sure. Leaving the Space Needle Max headed for Fogle Towers. It was late so Logan would probably be asleep. She wouldn't stay long. Only long enough to make sure that he was alright.
Sure enough, once Max had picked the lock and entered Logan's apartment, she discovered that all of the lights had been switched off and even the computer had been shut down for the night. Moving silently through the apartment, Max headed for Logan's bedroom.
The door to Logan's bedroom was open. Obviously, he wasn't expecting anyone to be walking around his apartment, least of all his favorite cat burglar. As Max stood in the bedroom doorway, she was amazed at the sight before her.
She had seen Logan unconscious, but never voluntarily asleep. It was as though he had let all of the walls that he had built up around him down. The lines that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence on his forehead over the past few days, had all but disappeared. He almost reminded her of what he could have looked like as a child.
Not wishing to invade Logan's privacy, but needing a little more time to be sure that he was fine, Max sat down on the floor in the doorway. It calmed her watching the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. That was where she stayed until it was time to go home and get ready for work.
Logan woke to a sense that there was something or rather someone missing from his room. He had known that Max was sitting in the doorway to his room watching. He had watched her from barely opened eyes, not wishing to frighten her away if he looked at her wide awake.
He had thought that she would only stay for a short while and then leave. Despite falling asleep with her watching him, Logan had known that Max hadn't left him until it was time for her to leave for work.
Max still surprised him, even when he thought he had her all worked out. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever expected to find her scared in his apartment when he returned from helping Mrs Moreno. He knew she was smart enough to have figured out what he had been about to do. He just never expected her to care that much.
When Max had thrown her arms around him, he had got a glimpse of what would have happened if he had shot himself. How could he have ever thought of doing that to her. He berated himself for only thinking of what losing the feeling in his legs meant to him. He wasn't alone anymore. Sure he and Max were just friends. Well, maybe a little more than just friends, but she had been through more than enough in her young life. She didn't need the added hurt of knowing that he had ended his life because he was too much of a coward to face life without the use of his legs.
After Max had left to take Jace to catch a bus to Mexico, Logan had tried to convince himself that he had just imagined that Max cared. It wasn't until Max had come back to check on him and ended up staying the entire night watching him, that he knew that it hadn't been his imagination.
No matter how many times Max told him that the wheelchair didn't matter to her, Logan still couldn't bring himself to believe her. He hadn't been able to stop himself from asking her 'Is it easier for you with me in the chair'. He knew how bitter he was being as soon as he said it.
He had felt justified asking the question at the time, even when his jacket hit him courtesy of Max. It wasn't until they were driving to see Vertes that Logan realized that Max's stabbing silence wasn't because she was mad, though she had every right to be. He had hurt her by pushing her away and not trusting her enough to tell her that his legs were failing.
The truth was, there was no one else in the world that he trusted more. That was why even now, it tore at his heart to think that he had hurt her. He had felt sorry for himself and lashed out at Max. He wouldn't have blamed her if she never wanted anything to do with him ever again. Instead of turning her back on him, she had sat watching over him while he slept to make sure he was alright.
Transferring himself from his bed to his wheelchair, Logan shook his self pity off and formed a plan. He may have lost the use of his legs, but he could still help people. The future he wanted with Max was back beyond his reach, so he would just throw himself back into his work so he wouldn't have time to dwell on what he couldn't have.
Max quickly showered and changed before heading to work. After spending the morning delivering parcels, she stood in line and waited with Sketchy for gas. She figured if she just got Logan out of Seattle for a couple of days, maybe she could prove to him that it didn't matter if he was in a wheelchair or not.
She and Logan had planned to spend the weekend at his Uncle's cabin anyway. Max found that she was really looking forward to spending a weekend free of interruptions from the outside world. It would do both of them the world of good.
The only thing left to get to make their trip a reality was Sector passes. The Sector Police had made it harder to leave the city over the last couple days, so Max couldn't just use her messenger pass. She would have to get Grade A, no questions asked passes or she and Logan weren't going anywhere.
As she was hanging upside down outside the police station window, she kept reminding herself this was all worth it for a weekend away. After an hour of hanging upside down waiting for the officers to leave their desks, Max's head started to ache. When the coast was finally clear, she almost fell through the window in her eagerness to get the sector passes.
Picking the passes up she noticed her hand tremble slightly. Yep, she needed this break as much as Logan did.
