by Kirsten Tapp
Disclaimer: Dark Angel doesn't belong to the author, but to James Cameron, etc. No copyright infringement intended.
Summary: What went on between Pollo Loco and I and I am a Camera.
Spoilers: Pollo Loco, I and I am a Camera
Rating: PG - some graphical violence
Category: Drama, Romance
------=====================------
Logan watched Max sitting curled up on the sofa staring out the window at the Seattle rain, wrapped up in his bathrobe. He could almost see the walls thrown back up around her. He could only speculate on what had happened between Max and her brother, but he knew Max wasn't going to be ready to talk about it in a hurry.
He had tapped into a transmission between Lydecker and his men. So Logan knew that Ben had been found dead in the woods with a broken neck and a couple of broken limbs. Of course Lydecker had removed Ben's body before any questions could be asked by the normal authorities.
A second ago, all Logan wanted to do was wrap his arms around Max and tell her everything was going to be alright. But then Bling had handed him the photos that Lydecker had left for him in the contact room.
It had been so easy to forget that Max had been trained to kill. To think of her as just another girl who was a bit stronger and faster than all the others. Of course he had never forgotten that Max was special, but the part where she could kill without a second thought had slipped his mind.
Unfortunately, Lydecker was right. Max wasn't just the girl next door and the possibility that she might have had more than a passing involvement in her brother's death, scared the hell out of him.
Logan hid the photos in the pocket on his chair and resumed watching Max. He respected that Max needed time and space to sort through what had happened with her brother by herself. He knew that if she needed to talk, then she would either come to him or go to Original Cindy.
He wondered what Max saw when she looked out of the rain splattered windows into the gloomy night. Was she running today's events through her mind, wondering if she could have done something differently? One thing Logan was certain of, was that Max was blaming herself for Ben's death whether or not she had anything to do with it.
Quietly wheeling himself into the kitchen and started to make something for both of them to eat. Max had said earlier that she wasn't hungry, but it gave Logan something to do. The visions of the photos of Max as a child flashed through his head. He had never seen such a blood thirsty look on such a young face. As hard as he tried to tell himself that Max had changed a lot since she was a child, he just couldn't be sure. His own uncertainty was what scared him the most.
Max found some comfort in knowing that Logan was close by if she needed him. The terrified look on Ben's face, would be forever burned into her memory. The sound of him begging her not to let Manticore take him back was like the accompanying soundtrack.
She wasn't sure what she found worse. That she had killed her own brother or that she knew how to. The sound of the fast approaching chopper had been the only thing that had stopped her from staying with Ben's body.
Max had run on shaking legs through the woods, sobbing her heart out. There had been nothing else she could have done. Ben wouldn't listen to reason. If she hadn't stopped him, he would have continued on his killing spree. As always when she needed someone to talk to, she had headed for Fogle Towers.
She had guessed from the expression on Logan's face that he had found out that Ben was dead. Yet he never said a word about it. He had simply handed her a bathrobe and offered her the use of his shower. It was as though he instinctively knew that she wasn't ready to talk.
Standing under the hot shower, Max wished she could wash the events of the day away as easily as the dirt from the woods. She had been looking for her brothers and sisters for so long, yet she had never considered what effect Manticore had left on them. She had assumed the others would cope the way she had.
Looking back over the past few months, the siblings she had caught up with had handled life in their own way. Zack still remained the ever in command C.O. Brin had run until her illness had made it impossible to run any longer. Tinga had assumed a different identity to stay under the radar. Ben hadn't been able to distance himself from what had happened to them at Manticore and it had driven him insane.
It had never occurred to any of them when they had escaped that there was anything but a better life waiting for them outside the Manticore fences. For Ben though, it was just a bigger training field.
When they were children, convicts were used in that particular training exercise. Ben couldn't tell the difference and there were times Max couldn't either. Unlike Ben, Max had Logan to help to figure out the difference. Ben had no one.
As Max stared into the darkness, she wondered if any of the others were like Ben. Only Zack knew the answer to that and he sure wasn't going to tell her. She glanced over her shoulder to find Logan was still watching over her. He had made her something to eat but still kept his distance.
Something had changed in the way Logan was looking at her. She had noticed it after Bling had handed him something. Max wasn't sure what had happened but she could sense the fear in Logan. It hadn't been there before.
Once Max's clothes had dried, she thanked Logan for dinner and headed for the church to check on Father Destrey. She still didn't understand why people put such faith in someone they couldn't see. But if it made them happy and wasn't hurting anyone, who was she to argue.
