Heero looked at the two gifts- mostly eyeing the top one- then made an attempt to stare Zechs down. 

After a few moments of neither of them moving, Duo interrupted.  "Um… Heero?  Could'ja just open them?  My eyes are beginning to tear up in sympathy for you guys."

Something flicked in Heero's eyes.  "Mission accepted."

The rest of the party sweatdropped.

He picked up Zech's gift, still glancing warily at the blonde pilot, and unwrapped it.  He studied the object in his hands and frowned, and Relena and Duo leaned over his shoulders to see what it was.  After a moment, he glanced up at Zechs again and held up what the bright paper had revealed. 

It was a hardcover book with what looked like a green smiley-face with no eyes and a wildly maniacal grin waving it's arms in a rude gesture, and a hand with the thumb stuck up in the universal hitchhiker's sign on the cover, along with the title, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the name Douglas Adams. 

"What," he began, "is this?" 

Zechs and Noin both began snickering.

"That is an excellent book," the older blonde pilot answered with a grin.  "Everyone should have a copy.  It explains what you should do if the Earth is going to be destroyed, God's final message to His Creation, and reveals the whereabouts of Elvis."

Relena, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa glanced at Zechs, glanced at each other, and shrugged.

One thick, dark eyebrow rose.  "Hn."  Heero reached for the bigger, brighter, infinitely tempting gift that Duo had shoved before him, but before he could reach it, a weighty package was put into his hands.

Everyone turned to look at the honey-blonde who stood smiling over Heero, absently flicking one curled section of hair over the shoulder of her black-and-tan Preventors jacket. 

Noin grinned.  "Hey Sally.  How's life, and have you strangled the little jerk yet?"  She made throttling motions with a cheerful expression.

Sally shook her head.  "Not yet.  He's off being anti-social on account of losing a bet with me, but he did send his regards and that."  She gestured toward the package in Heero's hands.

"Wu-man hasn't forgotten about his good friends!" Duo cheered.

"Good friends?" Trowa asked.  "I hadn't known that he'd had any."

Duo shrugged.  "You know what I mean."

"It feels like more books."  Heero glowered accusingly at Sally, simply because Wufei wasn't there to be blamed.  He pulled the plain brown, battered mailing paper off the box, then opened the box, and a plethora of items fell out.

Three of the items were indeed books.  One of them was an old, worn copy of Confucian's Analects, another on the philosophy of Plato, and the third was The Encyclopedia of Chinese Astrology.   Among the other items there was a set of break-apart chopsticks, a small jade dragon, and a largish plastic sword. 

Everyone stared.  Noin was the first to recover.

The dark haired female pilot began snickering.

"Miss Noin?" Quatre asked, his gentle face clouded over with concern.  "What is it?"

Noin doubled over laughing wildly and gasping for air. 

"Noin?" Zechs looked over at her, his golden brows furrowed.  "Noin?  Are you alright?"

" 'Mankind censure injustice fearing that they may be the victims of it, and not because they shrink from committing it,' " Heero read aloud from one of the books.  He snorted and snapped it shut.

Noin fell over in the grass clutching her mid-section and a keening noise issued from her mouth. 

"Is she laughing or in pain?" Trowa stared in puzzlement.

"Laughing," the voice of experience- Duo- spoke up.

"Noin!"  Zechs poked and prodded his companion for a moment.  "Get yourself under control.  You have been trained better than this!"

"Ow, ow, ow," she panted between giggles, "ow, ow, ow… Wufei!"  She rolled over in new set of convulsions.

"Yes, I know," Relena patted Noin gently.  "It's ok, Miss Noin, we understand."

"Suuuuurrre we do," Duo muttered to Trowa, making twirling motions by his head with his index finger.  Trowa more or less ignored him except for giving him a dirty look.

"I helped pick out the sword," Sally added in helpfully, watching Noin gasp for breath.  Quatre stared at her oddly for a moment, then shook his head. 

Heero picked up the jade dragon with the chopsticks and examined it, not even seemingly noticing the commotion going on around him, not even when Duo started shoving on him and repeating, "Open my present!  Open my present!  Open my…oof!", until he lost his grip on the dragon as he was jostled, then he scowled at Duo and pushed him away.

Sally flopped into the grass next to a recovering Noin and a still puzzled Zechs, then helped the dark-haired woman into a sitting position and handed her some soda.

Heero picked up the last gift.

Duo's bright, devilish grin lit up most of the continent and could be seen from space.

Heero shook the box, frowning a bit at the dull thumping and… squeaking? noises emanating from within, then began ripping off layers of ribbon, tape, and paper.  He tore open the duct-taped shut lid and peered inside.   He frowned again.

The braided pilot couldn't contain himself anymore and covered his mouth as he began to giggle.  Even Quatre was beginning to grin now.

"Well, what is it?" Zechs asked.

Still frowning, the Japanese boy reached into the box and lifted out a Wing Zero plushie.  It was about a foot tall and covered in a huggably soft, nappy terrycloth, and it was also fairly detailed, as far as plushies go.

"Awww," giggled Noin, lapsing back into laughter.  "I guess they figured that you missed your real gundam."

"What was that squeaking noise then?" Heero demanded, first looking back into the box to see if anything was left in there, and then returning his dark blue eyes to the stuffed gundam.

"You have ta… He-he!" Duo rolled around on the grass.

"Squeeze it," Quatre finished, grinning ear to ear.

A dark brow rose, but Heero gave it a good squeeze, then nearly dropped it.  The squeak it made sounded remarkably like the little Wing Zero was saying, "Epyon!" in a very cute manner.

Zechs blinked then grabbed for the plushie.  "Did that just say what I thought it said?" he inquired.

The plushie was re-squeezed.  "Epyon!" 

The longhaired blonde chuckled.

Heero, for his part, looked flabbergasted and just kept squeezing in amazement.  "Epyon!"

Zechs abruptly joined Duo in a fit of giggles, doubled up over his knees snorting and gasping, tears streaming from his eyes.

"Where on earth did you guys find this thing?" Sally asked.  She poked at it and gave an appreciative "Ooo" to its cry of "Epyon!".

"At this little specialty shop in town," Quatre answered, seeing as his partner in crime was incapacitated with humor.  "They actually took a special order and made it for us, since we were gundam pilots."  He looked a little embarrassed to have gotten special treatment for that reason.

"I wonder if they could…hmmm…"  Sally began smiling evilly, already plotting something that Wufei would not appreciate in the least.

Relena just sat back and regarded the scene wide-eyed, her expression nearing terror.

"Epyon!"

Zechs howled with laughter, and next to him, Duo wasn't fairing much better.

"Where's your training, now?" Noin prodded the blonde mercilessly.  "Where's OZ's best lieutenant the Lighting Baron now, hm?"

 Trowa looked around, stood up, and with improbable grace, flipped himself upside down and stood on his head.

"Epyon!"  Heero tore his eyes from the strange gift to stare at the silent pilot standing calmly on his head in the middle of the chaos.  "What are you doing?"

Green eyes stared back levelly, as if daring anyone to find something odd about being upside down for no apparent reason.  "I'm acting wild and crazy," Trowa answered reasonably, "Since everyone else is, I may as well, right?  Come on, Quatre, Relena, do something fun," he encouraged the blondes in near monotone.  Behind him, Zechs and Duo had regained enough composure to begin discussing hair care while Noin listened in and rolled her eyes.

Relena shook her head, braids flying, but Quatre looked slowly from Trowa to Relena, to Trowa, then finally settled back on Relena with a widening grin.  The ex-Queen of the World stared back, wanting to trust Quatre, but finding that she couldn't with him looking at her like that. 

"Something fun…" Quatre repeated, then glomped Relena, hugging on for dear life.  The startled girl acked and made a determined effort to pry the offending gundam pilot away.  "What are you doing?  Let go of me this instant, Quatre Raberba Winner!  Heeeeeerroooo!"

Heero sighed, and stuffed all of his new belongings into a battered backpack he'd brought with, then stood up and walked away from his party and out of the park.

One of the last things he heard while leaving sounded suspiciously like, "Oh, come on, I can threaten to kill you too!"

~Owari~

EPILOGUE              Heh… Wufei-torture in the future!  ^_~