"A Whole New World"


ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMER: The song "One of These Things is Not Like The Others" from Sesame Street belongs to The Children's Television Workshop.


Chapter 3

"Catch Of The Day"


"I don't see either of your names on the guest list," the doorman frowned, flipping through papers attached to a clipboard.
"We have invitations to everything," Detective Briscoe told him, flashing his badge.
"This is police business," Detective Green added, showing his badge as well. The doorman shrugged.
"I got no beef with the cops. Anyway, they got a huge crowd in there for that bimbo's party – "
"She's not a bimbo," Green told him firmly.
"Whatever you say, pal," the doorman agreed, waving the detectives into the club.
The interior of the club was dark, smoky, and vibrating with deafening music. Briscoe and Green pushed their way through the crowd, often holding up their badges in order to get people to move aside for them. Finally, they reached the bar, which was surrounded by a thick crowd of people lined up for drinks.
"This is no good!" Green shouted directly into Briscoe's ear. "We'll never find Angelina in this mess!"
"Just keep your eyes open," Briscoe yelled back. "Maybe we'll luck out."


"Thank you," Tegan said as the waiter set another screwdriver in front of her.
"Are you sure all you want is coffee?" Angelina asked Munch as the waiter put a glass of white wine down on the table.
"This is fine," Munch assured her. "Are you having fun?"
"Mmm," she replied, sipping her wine. "I'm having a marvelous time… which is the point, really." She reached under the table for her purse. "I'm just going to run to the ladies'," she said, standing. "Want to come?" she asked Tegan.
"No, I'll stay here and guard the table."
"I'll come with you," Munch said, getting up. Angelina laughed.
"Don't be ridiculous!"
"Come on, I'll walk with you," he said, putting his arm around her.
"All right. We'll be right back, Mum." Tegan waved as they walked into the crowd.
"Tegan Jovanka! My goodness, it's you!" Tegan looked up to see someone familiar standing over her. She took a sip of her drink and tried to think where she'd seen her before. She was a very well kept woman in her forties, with dark eyes and graying hair swept up in a sophisticated style. She wore a tasteful dark purple designer dress that Tegan guessed cost more than she made in year as an airhostess. In a sudden flash of memory, the woman's name came to her.
"Sarah Jane Smith!" Tegan said, smiling warmly. "It's been ages!"
"You look just the same as you did when I met you during that horrible business with Rassilon's Tomb," Sarah Jane said, sitting down across from Tegan. "Are you still traveling with the Doctor?"
"Not exactly," Tegan said wryly, sipping her screwdriver. "So, what are you doing with yourself nowadays?"
"Well, I'm married," she said, holding up her left hand to display a brilliant diamond ring. "To George Cranleigh. I'm Lady Sarah now, doesn't that sound awfully grand?" Both women laughed. "And I'm editor of British Vogue." She made a face. "Not exactly cutting edge journalism, is it?"
"Maybe not, but it's awfully grand!" Tegan told her, and they laughed again.
"So, what's your connection to the birthday girl?" Sarah Jane asked. Tegan looked surprised.
"You mean you didn't know?" Sarah Jane shook her head. "I'm her mother!"
"Oh! Well that explains where she got that TARDIS key," Sarah Jane said in the satisfied tone of someone who'd just worked out an elaborate mystery.
"Yeah. Found it in my jewelry box," Tegan agreed.
"That's what she said, and I've been dying to know how her mother got hold of one… well, now I know!" Sarah Jane peered at Tegan closely. "I never would've guessed you're her mother. You do look just the same! What's your secret?" Tegan sipped her drink and leaned forward, lowering her voice.
"Pregnancy," she said quietly.
"Really? I don't have any children, but maybe I should've!" Tegan laughed.
"I don't think your George Cranleigh's quite got what it takes!" Sarah Jane's eyebrows went up. "No, no, I didn't mean it like that," Tegan added hastily. She smiled. "You've seen Angelina. Does she look like someone you've met before?" Sarah Jane thought for a moment, and then her eyes popped open wide.
"No!" she exclaimed, astounded. Tegan grinned.
"Yeah," she said ruefully. "Believe it or not."
"I'm shocked!" Sarah Jane leaned closer. "Tell me everything!"


"Munch!" Briscoe said with a grin. "What're you doing hanging around outside the ladies' room?"
"Waiting for Angelina," he replied. "I didn't know she invited you guys!" Briscoe and Green exchanged a look.
"She didn't," Green said. "Someone else did." Munch took a stab in the dark.
"Zeta?" The two detectives nodded. "He's sure been a busy little bee today, hasn't he?"
"Sure has," Briscoe agreed. "Where's the Doctor?" Munch shrugged.
"He went off somewhere with our mutual friend." A man came out of the men's room and walked past the three detectives, making his way back into the club. Green watched him go.
"Was that Mick Jagger?" he asked. Suddenly, from within the ladies' room came the distinctive sound of a TARDIS either arriving or departing.
"Oh, screw me!" Munch yelled in dismay, only he didn't use the word "screw". The three detectives drew their weapons and charged into the ladies' room.
"Police! Freeze!" Green yelled, though he needn't have bothered. The bathroom was empty save for Angelina's little designer purse sitting on the counter between the sinks.
"Great," Munch fumed, lowering his weapon and looking around at the empty ladies' room. "Just great."
"Come on," Briscoe said. "We'd better see if we can find the Doctor and his pal." They holstered their weapons and exited the ladies' room. Before they'd gotten too far into the club, they spied Zeta and the Doctor on their way back to their table. "Doc!" Briscoe shouted over the pounding music. "Hey Doc!"
"Zeta!" Munch called. The two Time Lords kept walking. Briscoe took a deep breath.
"Hey Thete!" he yelled as loud as he could. The Doctor stopped walking and turned, frowning. Munch held up Angelina's purse.
"What's happened?" the Doctor shouted when the three detectives caught up with the Time Lords.
"Let's go somewhere quiet!" Green yelled. Zeta nodded and gestured for them to follow him. He led them out a back door into an alley containing several dumpsters. Drawing his key from his pocket, he opened one and motioned them inside.
"What is it, what's happened?" the Doctor asked without preamble. The three detectives quickly explained about the TARDIS sound and the empty ladies' room. Eyes blazing, the Doctor yelled something in his own language and brought his fist down on the control console hard enough to leave a fairly large dent in the metal surface. Briscoe and Green exchanged shocked looks, while Munch suddenly looked apprehensive.
"Temper, temper," Zeta chided mildly, his hands flying over the controls. "I'll be sending you the bill for getting that dent pounded out, Theta." He paused in his work to use one hand to rake his black hair out of his face, and then glanced briefly at the Doctor. "Do try to pull yourself together and behave like a proper Time Lord for once, would you?"
"Hey, cut the guy a break – " Green began, but the Doctor interrupted him.
"No, Zeta is absolutely right. Getting upset isn't helping."
"It's certainly not helping my TARDIS," Zeta agreed as the Time Rotor began moving.
"I never thought I'd be glad that it's you and not me who's dating his daughter!" Briscoe told Munch quietly.
"Yeah, rub it in," Munch said glumly, staring at the deep dent in the control console and imagining a similar one in his skull.
"You're tracking the other TARDIS?" the Doctor asked Zeta.
"No, I thought we'd take a trip to a Soho parking garage just for the fun of it," he replied sarcastically. "Honestly, Theta. Sometimes I think your brain is mostly useful for holding the bones of your head apart!" The Doctor was about to make an acid remark along the lines of a fairly useless brain being better than no brain at all when the Time Rotor stopped moving and a soft chime signaled their arrival. The three detectives drew their weapons and headed for the doors. Zeta's eyebrows went up. "You humans are so impetuous. I on the other hand would prefer to see what's outside before I go charging out to meet Destiny. Some of us learn that lesson the hard way, don't we?" He gave the Doctor a pointed look, which the other Time Lord pretended not to see. Zeta muttered something about stupidly getting one's seventh body shot up by a street gang and hit a switch. The panel over the viewscreen slid open.
"It's a parking garage, Zete," Briscoe said, gesturing at the screen.
"So it is," he agreed.
"Doesn't look very dangerous to me," Green added.
"Hmm." Without further comment, Zeta hit the door switch.
"Come on," the Doctor said impatiently. They walked out into the parking garage, none of them having any idea that if they only looked to their left, they would see the gray cement stairwell from Romana's vision in the Eye. Glancing back, Zeta saw that his TARDIS had become a bright blue Port-O-Potty with an "Out of Order" sign on the front. He muttered something particularly rude about the obviously incompetent genetic engineers who had loomed the members of the Type 60's design team and hurried to catch up with the others. The Doctor had his TARDIS key out and was holding it at arm's length, dangling from its chain.
"One of these things is not like the others," he sang under his breath. "One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you guess which thing is doing its own thing – " The key suddenly swung wildly toward a cement support column. "Ah ha!"
"Like dowsing for water," Green observed.
"Better," the Doctor told him. "This actually works!" He flipped the key up in the air by its chain, caught it neatly and pocketed it in one smooth motion.
"That's it, is it?" Zeta asked, pointing at the support column. The Doctor gave him a withering look.
"No, I thought I'd lead us over here just for the fun of it!" he said sarcastically.
"Enough!" Munch snapped impatiently. He used his gun to gesture at the support column. "How do we get in there?" Both Time Lords produced their TARDIS keys simultaneously.
"How do we get in there without whoever's inside being able to see us coming?" Green asked. The Doctor and Zeta exchanged a look.
"I'm afraid we can't," the Doctor said finally. "We'll just have to hope whoever's inside isn't watching."
"Oh great," Briscoe said sarcastically. "So much for the element of surprise." The Doctor strode over and stuck his key into the support column. The three detectives took up positions on either side of him, guns at the ready. With a sound reminiscent of pneumatic machinery, the key turned in the lock and the door swung open. Munch crouched low, holding his gun before him with both hands, and slunk forward.
"Police! Freeze!" they heard Munch yell from the interior of the TARDIS. "Drop your weapon! Drop your – " This was followed by a gunshot and then the sound of some sort of energy weapon being fired. Briscoe and Green hurried inside, guns at the ready. As they entered the console room, they caught a flash of long dark hair as someone ducked into the interior of the TARDIS, leaving a trail of crimson droplets behind; evidently Munch's shot hadn't missed. Munch himself was lying facedown on the console room floor. Briscoe and Green looked torn.
"Go!" the Doctor yelled at the detectives, motioning them towards the interior door as he knelt at Munch's side. "You're armed, we're not. Don't worry, we'll look after him!"
"Here!" Green tossed his cell phone to Zeta, who deftly picked it out of the air. "Call 911, give them my name and this address and tell them we've got shots fired and an officer down, and we need back-up and an ambulance at this location!" he instructed. "Can you remember all that?" The Time Lord nodded. "Good."
"Oh, our kidnapper is armed, Detective Green!" Zeta called helpfully.
"Yeah, thanks for the hot tip, Zete!" Briscoe said, following his partner into the corridor. Zeta crouched down next to the Doctor, who was rolling Munch over onto his back. His glasses were bent and the left lens was cracked. More serious was the smoking hole in his left shoulder. The Doctor grabbed the charred edges of Munch's shirt in both hands and tore it open. The wound was deep; the Time Lords could see the white glimmer of bone and sinew inside.
"Staser, looks like," the Doctor said quietly. Zeta sucked air in between clenched teeth.
"I've never heard of one being used on a human before… will he live, do you think?" The Doctor didn't reply. Instead, he stood and went to the control console, setting coordinates.
"What about this phone thing?" Zeta asked, holding up Green's cell phone.
"Forget it," the Doctor replied. "Human medical technology isn't advanced enough to care for him. We've got to take him to Gallifrey."
"All right," Zeta agreed, rising to his feet and pocketing the cell phone. "I'll follow in my own TARDIS."
"Wait," the Doctor said, holding up his hand. "The detectives asked us to call for back-up. You'll have to take Detective Munch to Gallifrey in your TARDIS." Zeta nodded and handed the cell phone to the Doctor, who flipped it open and began dialing. Just then, the interior door opened, and Angelina came running into the console room and right into the Doctor's arms.
"Are you all right?" he asked, holding her at arm's length and inspecting her. She nodded.
"Just a bit shaken up!" The Doctor sighed with relief and pulled her close. "Oh my God, Munch!" she cried, breaking out of his embrace and running over to where the detective lay on the floor. She knelt on the floor at his side. "Is he going to be all right?" she asked the Doctor, her eyes filling with tears.
"He will be when we get him to Gallifrey," he assured her, mentally adding I hope to the end of that statement. Briscoe and Green appeared, dragging a handcuffed semiconscious dark-haired woman between them: the Rani.
"Oh, not her again," the Doctor said, sounding exasperated. He snapped the cell phone shut. "Zeta, you'd better take Detective Munch in your TARDIS… it'll be much faster than this one." Briscoe and Green watched with astonishment as the scrawny Time Lord picked up the detective as effortlessly as if he were a rag doll and carried him out the doors.
"Wait," Angelina called, racing after him. "I'm coming with you!" The Doctor looked a bit taken aback.
"Kids! Oy, what're you gonna do?" Briscoe asked philosophically.
"So, how do you like our catch of the day?" Green asked the Doctor, giving their prisoner a little shake. More crimson droplets dripped to the floor.
"It's not very big," he replied in a musing tone. "And I suspect it's poisonous. But I wouldn't suggest that you throw it back." Briscoe laughed.
"Come on, let's get her down to the two-seven," Green said. The Doctor shook his head.
"No, Detective Green. Your judicial system had their chance with her, now it's Gallifrey's turn." He bent over the controls. The outer doors swung shut and the Time Rotor began moving. "I suspect the Castellan and his guards will do a better job of holding onto her than your prison system did."
"Unlike our prison staff, your guys will know all her tricks," Briscoe said with a shrug.
"Let's hope so," the Doctor sighed. "All right, let's see where she's been shot," he said briskly.
"Right arm," Green said as the Doctor walked over. He shifted his hold on the Rani so that the Time Lord could take a look.
"The bullet appears to have missed anything major." He tipped her head up to feel for the double pulse in her neck and saw a spreading purple bruise on her right cheek. His eyebrows went up.
"She resisted arrest," Green said, his face expressionless.
"Did she indeed?" the Doctor asked neutrally, regarding both detectives carefully.
"She sure did," Briscoe agreed, meeting the Doctor's eye. Green looked at the ceiling and whistled tunelessly.
"Hmm." The Time Lord went back to his examination, feeling the Rani's double pulse and prying her eyelids open to peer closely at her pupils. "It appears that she'll live," was his verdict.
"Oh well, can't win 'em all," Briscoe deadpanned.


Romana, her Castellan, and a compliment of Chancellery Guards were all waiting for them when the blue police box materialized inside the Capitol.
"This is quite a reception committee," the Doctor said as he stepped out of the police box, followed by Briscoe and Green, who were dragging the now fully conscious and totally uncooperative Rani between them. "I assume it's not meant for me." Romana gave him a warm smile.
"No, but it's always good to see you again, Doctor," she told him. The Castellan stepped forward.
"Detectives," he said brusquely, "if you'd care to bring the prisoner this way…" The Doctor and Romana watched as the Rani was taken away by the detectives, the Castellan, and the guards.
"Between all of them, there should be enough law enforcement officers to insure her arrival at the detainment facility pending trial," Romana mused.
"Don't underestimate her, Romana," the Doctor said sternly. "She's like the Master… even if she were dead, I wouldn't trust her."
"She will probably be dead very soon," Romana mused, taking his arm and leading him towards her private office. "I suspect the prosecution will demand the death penalty for her crimes."
"And no doubt the High Council will grant it," he agreed. "Has Zeta arrived with my daughter and Detective Munch?"
"Oh yes, they arrived quite awhile before you did. Materialized in the medical wing. I'm told your daughter's friend is going to be just fine when they're done with him."
"Thank Rassilon," he said with relief. "Angelina's become quite attached to him, I think." Romana smiled.
"Yes. I understand the medics had a rather difficult time detaching her so they could treat him!"
"And how did they treat him?" he asked curiously. "I've never heard of a human getting shot with a staser."
"From what I understand, they've given him nanites," she confided. The Doctor looked stunned.
"Nanites? And his immune system hasn't rejected them?" Romana stopped walking and smiled up at him.
"It seems they've managed to find a nanite donor with sufficient human DNA markers."
"Of course," he said in a how could I have been so stupid? sort of tone. "Angelina."
"Yes, Angelina," she agreed. They had reached the door to her office, where she punched a code into a keypad by the door. "Do come in, Doctor," she said as the door slid open. "You and I have much to discuss, and I'm afraid I'll have to choose my words rather carefully."
"This has something to do with whatever it was you saw when you used the Eye, doesn't it?" he asked, following her into her office and sitting down in a chair in front of her desk.
"I'm afraid so," she agreed, sitting in her chair.
"It was awful?"
"'Awful' doesn't even begin to describe it." The Doctor sighed.
"All right, let's hear it." He put his elbows on the chair's armrests, steepled his fingers under his chin, and gave her an attentive look.
"I'm sorry it has to be like this, Doctor," she said apologetically, allowing herself a sad smile. And then she began.


CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4, "It Sounds Like A Horrid Disease!"