Disclaimer - Harry Potter and everything else recognizable doesn't belong to us. It's belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling. Everyone you've never heard of belongs to us. Laughs are free to all who read. Make sure to review. Tom Riddle, for all you stupid/forgetful people is . . VOLDEMORT!! (Don't say the name!!)




Voldemort's First Love

Chapter 1


The school year for many students started on September 1st. Tom Riddle, William Potter, Alexandra Rays, and Hua Jiang were the Head Boys and Girls of their houses. Tom Riddle of Slytherin, William Potter of Gryffindor, Alexandra from Hufflepuff, and Hua Jiang of Ravenclaw. Before the time of Voldemort's power, there were two head boys and two head girls, each from different houses. They were given much responsibily and power in Hogwarts, different from today. Why, you ask, did this happen? There is only one way to explain. Headmaster Dippet was a incompetent FOOL!

(Author's Note: But don't tell him we said that!*runs away scaried*)

A large mass of first years rushed into they Great Hall, as they always did, looking amazed at their surroundings, as they always did, and looked nervous enough to vomit, as they always did. They went before the Sorting Hat, amazed that a mere hat could talk.

(Author's Note: No one has the patience to listen to the horrible song the two authors would try to compose. Frankly, we don't have the patience to either.)

The first student to be sorted was Kyle Ceirlye. He was a tall, tan, athlectic looking boy who seem cut-out for Quidditch. He was shaking under the hat and waiting for the response.

"Ravenclaw!!" The hat shouted.

"Cheeseclown, Rayadisdi, come on down!!" McGonagall shouted. Back then, she dreamed of one day becoming a game show host. Unfortunately for her and fortunately for us, that never happened. Yet.

Rayadisdi was tall and curvy looking girl, with dark hair and big blue eyes who could possibily pass for a muggle model.

The hat opened it's mouth and yelled, "Hufflepuff!"

The sorting of people of unimportant to our story continued, while everyone else stared dreamily toward the rapid talking Sorting Hat. After what seemed like forever to the older students, an interesting name was called.

"Schnooglesnogglecake, Isy." With the calling of the name from Professor McGonagall, the whole Hall of students giggled. She became a Gryffindor, she had to be brave to walk around with the strange name she had.

Next was Isatartini Slutem. She was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Smoochbeef, Meatwookie, is next." The Great Hall erupted into laughter, although that could be dangerous. Meatwookie looked as if he could fight 10 fully grown men and win, so it was not in anyone's best interest to laugh at him. Fortunately, Madam Pomfrey was able to revive the 5 students who had been pummeled into unconsciousness. Needless to say, he was sorted into Slytherin.


* * *

Tom Riddle sat among the many Slytherin students, pondering the early events of the night. Tom couldn't wait to have his head stuck in a book, the whole year round. He'd waited eagerly this summer to return to his favorite place, Hogwarts. Hogwarts was his temple, in a matter of speaking. Only one and only one thing could make Hogwarts better for him, friends and perhaps . . a girlfriend. He'd always been attracted to Alexandra Rays and tried desperatly for her attention in his early years at Hogwarts. He failed, pathetically. Then something drew him back to reality, FOOD!

While munching on his cockroach clusters, an idea came to him. He could tell Alexandra jokes, because he knew sooo many good ones. He turned to the guy next to him, who just happened to Meatwookie Smoochbeef.

"I have a joke for ya, Meatwookie." Tom said.

"Say it," he grunted in reply.

"What did the lightbulb say to its mother?" Tom said.

"What?" Meatwookie asked.

"I wuv you watts and watts." Tom said, bursting out laughing.

Meatwookie looked at him, unamused. "That wasn't funny, get ready for a beat down!" He said, raising his fists and proceeding to give Tom a beat down.


Authors Note--

Review Please, but before you leave we have to show you something. We we're randomly going through the Daily Prophet and we found this.


"Single Male, age of 75 looking for a young hott thing to help him do his evil bidding. Enjoys romantic walks on the beach with the ones he loves and killing muggles. Also, strongly dislikes Harry Potter. Has fears of heights, Dumbledore, broccoli, cucumbers, and pretty much anything that's a healthy living plant. Also, furry stuff. Has pet snake. If interested, phone 1-800-evilguyforyou-123. And thank you for your WASTED TIME READING THIS!"


(This is ment as a joke, we know Voldy wouldn't appear in the Daily Prophet and yes, both of us have read the second book and seen the movie. We know Tom Riddle is Voldemort, that why we call him Tom in this story because it is supposed to be set in his seventh year. Thanks for the note, it helped a lot. Sorry we hadn't explained ourselves well.)


Bet ya didn't see Voldy going in the personal ads, right? Well, we might see him do some pretty strange thing in the future of our authors notes, so don't be surprised by anything.


Lavender Speaks--


What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins? Fred.

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Well, thanks for coming out. This story was fueled by Taco Bell, a banana, Frosted Mini Wheats, and our brains. Yes, Taco Bell. Bye, check ya later.

To Reviewers: By the way, thanks for the kind reviews. Sorry about the typos, it was me, Melody, who did those. Sorry about the first two authors notes, we promise in the future, we'll save them all for the end. And our 2nd chapter will be coming very soon. Thanks so much!