A/N: There is no good enough excuse for me to give this out so late but the
sheer evil that is exams jumped me and if it wasn't that it was writer's
block! Still, I'm very sorry this had to come out so late.
meaning they're speaking in elvish
Disclaimer: see chapter 1
Chapter 2 (Jen's POV)
Unnnhhh.
What the-? Where. where am I? And. where're Ellie and Cassie? And the CAR! Car, oh car, wherefore art thou car?! Oh god, oh god, and did I mention oh god? I CAN'T SEE!! Oh god I CAN'T SEE!! Oh wait. um, my eyes are still closed. Um, uh, I knew that! Note to self: don't tell Ells or Cassie about this. Sometimes I can be the ultimate poster girl for desperately pathetic.
I was slightly wet and it would have been cold but there was a blanket and a cozy. well I guess fire- I still haven't opened my eyes-in front of me, heating me up in a nice non-it-BURNS sorta way. Guess someone found me.
I could hear people talking softly nearby. They were talking in a language I couldn't quite put my finger on. It sounded really nice but hell would probably freeze over before I can pronounce it like they do.
I opened my eyes-at last-and slowly sat up. Oh god, wow, sitting across me were these three long haired utterly hot but somewhat girlie- looking men sitting on the other side of the fire.
All three pairs of eyes turned to look at me.
"Erm. hi," I said meekly. They were looking at me all funny. "Um, dudes, mind telling me just where in the name of all things good and fuzzy are we?" More funny looks. Right. Whatever.
"You are of the race of men?" one of them, the blue eyed blonde hottie, asked me. Race of men? What kind of question is that? Bunch of weirdos.
"If by race of men you mean human, then yes I am. Contrary to the belief of my older brother," I said with a lift of my eyebrow. Ellie always pouted like mad and whined whenever I'd do that. Oh man, Ells and Cass! I couldn't see them anywhere! Shit!
"Um. you three wouldn't happen to have seen two other girls when I landed in this happy little." I said quickly, my voiced panicky, pausing to actually notice where I was,". forest. Oh my god, I'm in the middle of some whacked out godforsaken forest!!" Yes definitely feeling the panic now,"how the hell did I get here, oh god-mmph."
"Please my lady, by the Valar do be quiet," said the blue eyed blonde, his hand covering my mouth, "now, if I remove my hand will you stop you're tirade of rants?" I nodded my head slowly, my thoughts less frenzied then a few hours ago.
He smiled slightly removing his hand from my mouth. Since some of the panic had died down my brain was a lot better at registering stuff. I was a lot calmer now. I looked at ol' blue eyes and his oh so silent companions now muttering something about women intent on telling them I was calmer. Wait a minute.
"Oh my god you're ears are all POINTY! L-like Santa's little midgets but taller!" So much for calmer. "God I was found by a bunch of MISSHAPENED EARED WEIR-mmph." and as you can guess ol' Blue Eyes' hand covered my mouth once again.
"My lady, please calm yourself. My companions and I are elves from Mirkwood on our way to Rivendell," he said trying to calm me down as best as he could. "My name is Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood and these are my companions Rudhion and Erunamo," he said pointing to the person mentioned.
I was starting to calm down again. The place. Rivendell and the name. Legolas was it? They were ringing bells in my head. Like I should know them or something. But still. ever since that car accident god knows how long ago, I still have no idea on what happened to Ellie and Cassie.
"Now if I remove my hand once more will you start yelling again?" asked Legolas. I shook my head. Warily he took his hand off.
"My name's Jen. You can call me. well Jen or-or Jen the Babble-y or Jen the Rantful. Or if you're my mom and you're totally pissed of at me you could probably, hell you would if you were mom which would be disturbing by the way, yell out 'Jennifer Wilhemina Chafers!' But what in the blazes of hell possessed her to name me that I have absolutely no idea. I mean, Wilhemina? Who names their kid that? Yuck. Best to stick to calling me Jen. By the way you never answered my question if you've seen two other girls around here, so have you?"
The three looked at me with raised eyebrows. Rudhion said, Whatever that means. {A/N: Jen hears it in elvish.}
"Oopsie. Kinda tend to babble when I'm nervous," I said with a small laugh. Hey, I said I was calmer but that doesn't necessarily mean I was calm. World of difference. I think.
"I'm sorry Lady. Jen but it was only you that we found but one must wonder," said Legolas casting me a skeptical look, "how a girl so oddly dressed taking with her such strange items, is doing in the middle of Mirkwood Forest."
I could feel my face tinge red in slight indignation. Who were they calling oddly dressed? Me? Oddly dressed? And strange items? My bag, which was at my feet, wasn't strange at all. If they were talking about Mr. Snuggles, my bear whose head poked out from my bag slightly they were gonna get it. I eyed there clothes and almost snorted. A great feat of self- control on my part if I do say so myself. Ah, who am I kidding, I do. And I think my head just grew five sizes bigger. But still, how dare they call me 'oddly dressed'?
"I'M the one oddly dressed? You're the ones in the TIGHTS. I mean, duh, come on, how big of a sissy do you look in those things! But then I guess it would take a very secure man to go and actually wear them." I trailed of thinking why three guys would wear tights in front of each other looking like rejects from the "Robin Hood Men in Tights" movie in the middle of what I'm guessing is a rather secluded forest. Hmmm. as well as the pointy ears.
"What is a sissy?" asked Erunamon in a slightly accented voice. Rudhion and Legolas looked just as clueless.
I was about to reply but then Rudhion said,"Foolish woman! We are not men! We are elves!" saying it like it was something to be proud of.
Of that threw me of a bit. Not men? Did he just actually say that? Not men. He said not men. Oh god no.
"Oh-my-god. That explains everything! The pointy ears, the forest thing, and the tights! Yes, definitely the tights!"
"It's nice to see you finally understa-"
"I've wound up with some deranged and kinky, homosexual cult! And you guys probably had plastic surgery for your ears for god knows what in your cult!" Did I mention I'm a bit of a homophobe? "And you're probably in this forest wearing those tights for the kinkiness of your cult! Gah! Get back homos!" One would runaway screaming if they even got a hint of the mental images going through my head.
"Lady Jen I assure you we have no part in this. cult. Nor are we. homos," said Legolas. Probably doesn't even know what cult and homo mean. "Please, tell us how you came to be here. I give you my oath as an elf that we will answer your questions later," Legolas continued with a pleading note in his voice.
Better than nothing right? Wonder what Rudhion's telling Legolas. Whatever it is Lego-boy doesn't seem to like it.
I do not think she means us any harm. She seems.confused. Very confused.
said Erunamon.
said Legolas a bit wearily.
"Um guys, what you're doing right now-it's rude," I said somewhat annoyed at knowing what the hell they just said.
Erunamon eyed me for a sec {A/N: suspiciously! Nothing else perverts!} and said, "You are right Lady Jen. We apologize. Now tell us how you came to be here."
"I don't know ok? Don't look at me like that Rudhion I really don't. Me and my friends were in the car, Cassie was driving and some drunk forced us off the road! We were falling and then I passed out! And then when I woke up I met you, girly trio, and the rest you know!"
I looked at their faces expectantly.
"You guys don't believe me do you?"
The three of them looked at each other and seemed to come to an understanding. Creepy.
"One must admit that your story is quite far-fetched," said Legolas slowly, "but it is far too unbelievable to come from a spy from Sauron. Therefore we are convinced that you mean us no real harm."
Sauron? Spy? The hell?!
"But before we answer your questions please answer this last one of ours."
"Um, ok, shoot."
They raised their eyebrows at me and I tried not to roll my eyes.
"Ask your question already."
"It's about what you said earlier," said Legolas. "Who is Santa and what are midgets?"
I laughed.
A/N: Ok what do ya think? Is it bad or good? REVIEW ME PLEASE!!
meaning they're speaking in elvish
Disclaimer: see chapter 1
Chapter 2 (Jen's POV)
Unnnhhh.
What the-? Where. where am I? And. where're Ellie and Cassie? And the CAR! Car, oh car, wherefore art thou car?! Oh god, oh god, and did I mention oh god? I CAN'T SEE!! Oh god I CAN'T SEE!! Oh wait. um, my eyes are still closed. Um, uh, I knew that! Note to self: don't tell Ells or Cassie about this. Sometimes I can be the ultimate poster girl for desperately pathetic.
I was slightly wet and it would have been cold but there was a blanket and a cozy. well I guess fire- I still haven't opened my eyes-in front of me, heating me up in a nice non-it-BURNS sorta way. Guess someone found me.
I could hear people talking softly nearby. They were talking in a language I couldn't quite put my finger on. It sounded really nice but hell would probably freeze over before I can pronounce it like they do.
I opened my eyes-at last-and slowly sat up. Oh god, wow, sitting across me were these three long haired utterly hot but somewhat girlie- looking men sitting on the other side of the fire.
All three pairs of eyes turned to look at me.
"Erm. hi," I said meekly. They were looking at me all funny. "Um, dudes, mind telling me just where in the name of all things good and fuzzy are we?" More funny looks. Right. Whatever.
"You are of the race of men?" one of them, the blue eyed blonde hottie, asked me. Race of men? What kind of question is that? Bunch of weirdos.
"If by race of men you mean human, then yes I am. Contrary to the belief of my older brother," I said with a lift of my eyebrow. Ellie always pouted like mad and whined whenever I'd do that. Oh man, Ells and Cass! I couldn't see them anywhere! Shit!
"Um. you three wouldn't happen to have seen two other girls when I landed in this happy little." I said quickly, my voiced panicky, pausing to actually notice where I was,". forest. Oh my god, I'm in the middle of some whacked out godforsaken forest!!" Yes definitely feeling the panic now,"how the hell did I get here, oh god-mmph."
"Please my lady, by the Valar do be quiet," said the blue eyed blonde, his hand covering my mouth, "now, if I remove my hand will you stop you're tirade of rants?" I nodded my head slowly, my thoughts less frenzied then a few hours ago.
He smiled slightly removing his hand from my mouth. Since some of the panic had died down my brain was a lot better at registering stuff. I was a lot calmer now. I looked at ol' blue eyes and his oh so silent companions now muttering something about women intent on telling them I was calmer. Wait a minute.
"Oh my god you're ears are all POINTY! L-like Santa's little midgets but taller!" So much for calmer. "God I was found by a bunch of MISSHAPENED EARED WEIR-mmph." and as you can guess ol' Blue Eyes' hand covered my mouth once again.
"My lady, please calm yourself. My companions and I are elves from Mirkwood on our way to Rivendell," he said trying to calm me down as best as he could. "My name is Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood and these are my companions Rudhion and Erunamo," he said pointing to the person mentioned.
I was starting to calm down again. The place. Rivendell and the name. Legolas was it? They were ringing bells in my head. Like I should know them or something. But still. ever since that car accident god knows how long ago, I still have no idea on what happened to Ellie and Cassie.
"Now if I remove my hand once more will you start yelling again?" asked Legolas. I shook my head. Warily he took his hand off.
"My name's Jen. You can call me. well Jen or-or Jen the Babble-y or Jen the Rantful. Or if you're my mom and you're totally pissed of at me you could probably, hell you would if you were mom which would be disturbing by the way, yell out 'Jennifer Wilhemina Chafers!' But what in the blazes of hell possessed her to name me that I have absolutely no idea. I mean, Wilhemina? Who names their kid that? Yuck. Best to stick to calling me Jen. By the way you never answered my question if you've seen two other girls around here, so have you?"
The three looked at me with raised eyebrows. Rudhion said, Whatever that means. {A/N: Jen hears it in elvish.}
"Oopsie. Kinda tend to babble when I'm nervous," I said with a small laugh. Hey, I said I was calmer but that doesn't necessarily mean I was calm. World of difference. I think.
"I'm sorry Lady. Jen but it was only you that we found but one must wonder," said Legolas casting me a skeptical look, "how a girl so oddly dressed taking with her such strange items, is doing in the middle of Mirkwood Forest."
I could feel my face tinge red in slight indignation. Who were they calling oddly dressed? Me? Oddly dressed? And strange items? My bag, which was at my feet, wasn't strange at all. If they were talking about Mr. Snuggles, my bear whose head poked out from my bag slightly they were gonna get it. I eyed there clothes and almost snorted. A great feat of self- control on my part if I do say so myself. Ah, who am I kidding, I do. And I think my head just grew five sizes bigger. But still, how dare they call me 'oddly dressed'?
"I'M the one oddly dressed? You're the ones in the TIGHTS. I mean, duh, come on, how big of a sissy do you look in those things! But then I guess it would take a very secure man to go and actually wear them." I trailed of thinking why three guys would wear tights in front of each other looking like rejects from the "Robin Hood Men in Tights" movie in the middle of what I'm guessing is a rather secluded forest. Hmmm. as well as the pointy ears.
"What is a sissy?" asked Erunamon in a slightly accented voice. Rudhion and Legolas looked just as clueless.
I was about to reply but then Rudhion said,"Foolish woman! We are not men! We are elves!" saying it like it was something to be proud of.
Of that threw me of a bit. Not men? Did he just actually say that? Not men. He said not men. Oh god no.
"Oh-my-god. That explains everything! The pointy ears, the forest thing, and the tights! Yes, definitely the tights!"
"It's nice to see you finally understa-"
"I've wound up with some deranged and kinky, homosexual cult! And you guys probably had plastic surgery for your ears for god knows what in your cult!" Did I mention I'm a bit of a homophobe? "And you're probably in this forest wearing those tights for the kinkiness of your cult! Gah! Get back homos!" One would runaway screaming if they even got a hint of the mental images going through my head.
"Lady Jen I assure you we have no part in this. cult. Nor are we. homos," said Legolas. Probably doesn't even know what cult and homo mean. "Please, tell us how you came to be here. I give you my oath as an elf that we will answer your questions later," Legolas continued with a pleading note in his voice.
Better than nothing right? Wonder what Rudhion's telling Legolas. Whatever it is Lego-boy doesn't seem to like it.
I do not think she means us any harm. She seems.confused. Very confused.
said Erunamon.
said Legolas a bit wearily.
"Um guys, what you're doing right now-it's rude," I said somewhat annoyed at knowing what the hell they just said.
Erunamon eyed me for a sec {A/N: suspiciously! Nothing else perverts!} and said, "You are right Lady Jen. We apologize. Now tell us how you came to be here."
"I don't know ok? Don't look at me like that Rudhion I really don't. Me and my friends were in the car, Cassie was driving and some drunk forced us off the road! We were falling and then I passed out! And then when I woke up I met you, girly trio, and the rest you know!"
I looked at their faces expectantly.
"You guys don't believe me do you?"
The three of them looked at each other and seemed to come to an understanding. Creepy.
"One must admit that your story is quite far-fetched," said Legolas slowly, "but it is far too unbelievable to come from a spy from Sauron. Therefore we are convinced that you mean us no real harm."
Sauron? Spy? The hell?!
"But before we answer your questions please answer this last one of ours."
"Um, ok, shoot."
They raised their eyebrows at me and I tried not to roll my eyes.
"Ask your question already."
"It's about what you said earlier," said Legolas. "Who is Santa and what are midgets?"
I laughed.
A/N: Ok what do ya think? Is it bad or good? REVIEW ME PLEASE!!
