Chapter Four
"Learning without thought is useless. Thought without learning is dangerous." - Confucius
Throughout the following week, Maria was frequently disgusted to find herself
daydreaming about her upcoming date with Max. She still couldn't believe how she had acted at
the dinner party. He was just a man after all, she told herself - just another rich, self-
assured man who wanted nothing more than to sleep with her and brag about it to his friends.
But no, a part of her had begun to argue, not this one. He was different. He wanted to know
her mind - hadn't he said it himself? She couldn't decide what she believed, and it bothered
her.
It wasn't completely Maria's fault she was so confused. She had been treated as some
sort of commodity even as a twelve-year-old girl in braids and a school uniform. Men had acted
the same way around her for so long that to encounter one who did not left her without any
idea of how to respond. Could it be that she, the woman who so hated the prejudice around her,
was herself deeply prejudiced?
Needless to say, it was a week without much sleep.
When the anticipated day arrived, Maria hurried her way home as best she could through
the busy Friday traffic. She headed straight up the stairs into her room, not wanting to waste
a minute of preparation time, cosmetic or mental.
Maria studied the inside of her closet confusedly. She had never had a date with a man
who was interested in anything more than her body. How should she dress? What would he think
if she wore something revealing? Something modest?
She realised what she was thinking and almost laughed out loud. The whole reason she was
going on this date, after all, was because Max liked her mind. He probably couldn't care less
what she wore! With this new realisation, Maria cheerfully put on her favourite formal outfit
and was ready to go in only a few minutes.
When the doorbell rang, Maria hopped down the stairs, hoping to get to the door before
her mother could. Luckily she made it. Opening the door, she was greeted by the impeccably
dressed Max and a dozen white roses.
"Oh, thank you, Max! They're my favourite!" She inhaled the almost sugary aroma. "Mmm
- oh! I'm sorry, won't you come in?" She remembered her manners.
"Thank you." He stepped in and took off his hat. "And good evening to you, madam."
Maria followed his gaze. Her mother had appeared. Please, please don't embarrass me, she
prayed.
Fate smiled upon Maria and her mother responded without saying anything uncomfortable.
Max helped her with her coat and they were presently on their way.
Having grown up surrounded by wealth, Maria was not surprised to see that Max's car was
a highly-polished Mercedes. Still, she wasn't too jaded to enjoy the feel and smell of the
leather interior. Max, in classic German fashion, drove exceedingly well, if rather fast, and
soon they arrived at their first destination - a very posh and exclusive restaurant.
"You certainly know how to impress a date," teased Maria as she sat across the table
from Max. "Who told you I like white roses?"
"I have my ways of finding these things out," he replied in a mischievous tone.
"And what else did my mother tell you about me?"
Max laughed. "Consistent, is she?" Maria rolled her eyes in confirmation. "Well," he
continued, she told me that you're studying Early Childhood Education."
"Yes, but I'll hazard a guess that she didn't sound too happy about it," grumbled Maria.
"Does she disapprove of your field of interest?"
She sighed. "Mutti disapproves of my interest." Realising that at last she had the
attention of someone who might actually care, Maria then launched into a lengthy explanation
of family problems which lasted through a large part of dinner.
"My goodness!" Max commented when she seemed to have finished, "how long have you been
holding that in?"
She gave him a sad smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have rambled on so long. You must be
falling asleep."
"On the contrary, I found it very informative."
An awful thought suddenly struck her. "You won't tell them what I said, will you? Oh,
please don't!" begged Maria. "If they ever found out..."
"I won't repeat a thing," he assured her as a waiter came by with the bill. "You have
my word."
He sounded sincere and Maria felt comfortable enough to believe his promise. He paid the
bill and tip, and they headed to the opera.
The theatre was busy with people as Max and Maria entered. Maria remembered how relieved
she had been by an article in the newspaper that morning. Because he was away touring the
utterly defeated Poland, it had mentioned, the Fuhrer would not be attending the opening night
of the opera as he usually did. This information had lifted a significant weight from her
shoulders, for as much as she might hate and disrespect him, Maria could not deny that Hitler
absolutely terrified her.
The rest of the evening passed very pleasantly. The opera was well performed and, though
the ending was sad, Maria was left happy because it had been so moving. Despite his detestable
anti-Semitism, Wagner did have some idea, she reasoned, of what love was. Which was more than
some people were capable of comprehending.
She felt the effects of the wine and the late evening beginning to set in as Max drove
her home. By the time they pulled up in front of the stately house, Maria felt her eyelids
getting heavy.
In the dim glow of the porch light, she thanked Max for the wonderful evening - really,
the only date she had ever truly enjoyed. They said goodnight, and a moment of awkward silence
followed.
Suddenly, Maria felt Max's hands gently closing around her own. She tensed as a strange
sensation made her heart beat faster.
"Max…"
"Maria." He said her name as if giving the answer to a question. His hands moved to her
face. She sighed despite herself and felt a sense of well being overcoming her fear.
Finally giving in to her strong, unfamiliar emotions, Maria closed her eyes and
experienced her first kiss.
"Learning without thought is useless. Thought without learning is dangerous." - Confucius
Throughout the following week, Maria was frequently disgusted to find herself
daydreaming about her upcoming date with Max. She still couldn't believe how she had acted at
the dinner party. He was just a man after all, she told herself - just another rich, self-
assured man who wanted nothing more than to sleep with her and brag about it to his friends.
But no, a part of her had begun to argue, not this one. He was different. He wanted to know
her mind - hadn't he said it himself? She couldn't decide what she believed, and it bothered
her.
It wasn't completely Maria's fault she was so confused. She had been treated as some
sort of commodity even as a twelve-year-old girl in braids and a school uniform. Men had acted
the same way around her for so long that to encounter one who did not left her without any
idea of how to respond. Could it be that she, the woman who so hated the prejudice around her,
was herself deeply prejudiced?
Needless to say, it was a week without much sleep.
When the anticipated day arrived, Maria hurried her way home as best she could through
the busy Friday traffic. She headed straight up the stairs into her room, not wanting to waste
a minute of preparation time, cosmetic or mental.
Maria studied the inside of her closet confusedly. She had never had a date with a man
who was interested in anything more than her body. How should she dress? What would he think
if she wore something revealing? Something modest?
She realised what she was thinking and almost laughed out loud. The whole reason she was
going on this date, after all, was because Max liked her mind. He probably couldn't care less
what she wore! With this new realisation, Maria cheerfully put on her favourite formal outfit
and was ready to go in only a few minutes.
When the doorbell rang, Maria hopped down the stairs, hoping to get to the door before
her mother could. Luckily she made it. Opening the door, she was greeted by the impeccably
dressed Max and a dozen white roses.
"Oh, thank you, Max! They're my favourite!" She inhaled the almost sugary aroma. "Mmm
- oh! I'm sorry, won't you come in?" She remembered her manners.
"Thank you." He stepped in and took off his hat. "And good evening to you, madam."
Maria followed his gaze. Her mother had appeared. Please, please don't embarrass me, she
prayed.
Fate smiled upon Maria and her mother responded without saying anything uncomfortable.
Max helped her with her coat and they were presently on their way.
Having grown up surrounded by wealth, Maria was not surprised to see that Max's car was
a highly-polished Mercedes. Still, she wasn't too jaded to enjoy the feel and smell of the
leather interior. Max, in classic German fashion, drove exceedingly well, if rather fast, and
soon they arrived at their first destination - a very posh and exclusive restaurant.
"You certainly know how to impress a date," teased Maria as she sat across the table
from Max. "Who told you I like white roses?"
"I have my ways of finding these things out," he replied in a mischievous tone.
"And what else did my mother tell you about me?"
Max laughed. "Consistent, is she?" Maria rolled her eyes in confirmation. "Well," he
continued, she told me that you're studying Early Childhood Education."
"Yes, but I'll hazard a guess that she didn't sound too happy about it," grumbled Maria.
"Does she disapprove of your field of interest?"
She sighed. "Mutti disapproves of my interest." Realising that at last she had the
attention of someone who might actually care, Maria then launched into a lengthy explanation
of family problems which lasted through a large part of dinner.
"My goodness!" Max commented when she seemed to have finished, "how long have you been
holding that in?"
She gave him a sad smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have rambled on so long. You must be
falling asleep."
"On the contrary, I found it very informative."
An awful thought suddenly struck her. "You won't tell them what I said, will you? Oh,
please don't!" begged Maria. "If they ever found out..."
"I won't repeat a thing," he assured her as a waiter came by with the bill. "You have
my word."
He sounded sincere and Maria felt comfortable enough to believe his promise. He paid the
bill and tip, and they headed to the opera.
The theatre was busy with people as Max and Maria entered. Maria remembered how relieved
she had been by an article in the newspaper that morning. Because he was away touring the
utterly defeated Poland, it had mentioned, the Fuhrer would not be attending the opening night
of the opera as he usually did. This information had lifted a significant weight from her
shoulders, for as much as she might hate and disrespect him, Maria could not deny that Hitler
absolutely terrified her.
The rest of the evening passed very pleasantly. The opera was well performed and, though
the ending was sad, Maria was left happy because it had been so moving. Despite his detestable
anti-Semitism, Wagner did have some idea, she reasoned, of what love was. Which was more than
some people were capable of comprehending.
She felt the effects of the wine and the late evening beginning to set in as Max drove
her home. By the time they pulled up in front of the stately house, Maria felt her eyelids
getting heavy.
In the dim glow of the porch light, she thanked Max for the wonderful evening - really,
the only date she had ever truly enjoyed. They said goodnight, and a moment of awkward silence
followed.
Suddenly, Maria felt Max's hands gently closing around her own. She tensed as a strange
sensation made her heart beat faster.
"Max…"
"Maria." He said her name as if giving the answer to a question. His hands moved to her
face. She sighed despite herself and felt a sense of well being overcoming her fear.
Finally giving in to her strong, unfamiliar emotions, Maria closed her eyes and
experienced her first kiss.
