Chapter 5: Dirty Old Men
Byakuya knelt solemnly at the soul king's feet, dressed in a lovely, formal kimono, and with his head dutifully bowed. The king observed him silently for a moment before speaking.
"You look troubled, Byakuya. I hadn't meant for my gift to you to become such a burden. But I see the signs of wear. This concerns me. Are you all right?"
"It is not your grace's gift that troubles me, my lord," Byakuya sighed, "but the man responsible for attempting to help me find it. Urahara Kisuke might be the most talented scientist in the known worlds, but he certainly has a way of complicating this. I wonder if he and the Lady Shihoin aren't just having fun at my expense. And I wonder if there really is, not just someone who I can love, but who will love and desire me genuinely in return...without seeking to take over worlds, crossing uncomfortable familial lines, tying me up or just plain trying to kill me."
"Ah, it does sound as though those two have been having a bit of fun with you. But are you sure that there has been no one so far, either in this competition, or even in your life in the Seireitei that came near your ideal mate? Someone you were at ease with and...felt somewhat challenged by, someone beautiful and having proper depth?"
Byakuya winced inwardly as a mental image of Renji came to him. He swatted the thought away.
Renji had so many chances to indicate that he was interested in me before, but...I don't know. I don't know if he didn't think that I was interested in him or if maybe I just made him feel as though he wasn't good enough.
The king smiled at his long silence.
"There is someone, isn't there?" he said quietly, "Was it, perhaps, a friend you did not look at closely enough before? Maybe someone you could have misunderstood?"
Byakuya's eyes clouded with regret.
"I think it was more than one thing. But it doesn't matter. That person is in the Seireitei and he is happy there. He has a place of honor, friends...an entire life that he has built. He said goodbye to me, and to any obligation he had to me when I came here."
"Hmmm," the king mused, taking Byakuya's hand in his and looking into his troubled eyes, "I am not sure how to advise you, but I would not give up all hope...for this person you left behind, or for the competition. Keep your friend in the Seireitei in mind and proceed as best you can. I am sure your confusion will clear and you will find the one you seek."
Byakuya swallowed hard and bowed respectfully.
"I am sure you are right, my lord."
He left the throne room and walked out into the gardens, his mind returning to his last interaction with Renji.
He picked himself up off the ground and dusted himself off as the skeletal snake continued to assault the leader of the hollows. The noble started to speak to the redhead, to give him an earful for nearly killing him, but was distracted from it as the hubbub that Renji had created, drew the attention of the brawling fighters.
"Oh gods," moaned Byakuya, dodging a haze of incoming kido fire, then flash stepping clear of several slashing swords, "Not this again!"
"I have your back, Taichou," Renji assured him.
"Please do try not to impale me as you protect me," the noble said dryly.
"That's not nice," Renji chuckled, sending the skeletal snake after Byakuya's suitors.
The two flash stepped away and found a quiet clearing within the forest. Byakuya turned to face the redhead. Renji studied him for a moment and shook his head.
"You need some healing," he commented, "Sit down and I'll take care of that."
Byakuya sat down and waited calmly as Renji looked him over, and began to heal the damage that the ruffian suitors had caused.
"You're a mess, Taichou," Renji commented, "You need to find a better way to get a husband. You're gonna get killed when if you keep this up!"
Byakuya met his eyes cautiously.
"I never wanted to do this in the first place," he explained, "I only accepted because it seemed to please his majesty."
Renji leaned closer, focusing his healing power on a deep gash in Byakuya's arm.
"I think after this, you might want to just tell him that you don't want a mate. This is too damned dangerous!"
Byakuya gave him the ghost of a smile.
"But...what if I actually do want to find someone?" he asked softly, "What if doing this has made me realize that...there is someone who..."
He broke off as the image of Renji flickered and began to disappear.
"Renji, don't leave," he said, reaching for the redhead.
"Sorry Taichou!" Renji called out as he began to disappear, "Signal's being disrupt..."
"Renji!" he called out again as his former fukutaichou disappeared.
"It seems that something always gets in the way," Byakuya mused, "It was like that before in the Seireitei too. From the beginning, every time we tried to say anything telling or do anything to..."
"Sir," said the voice of his attendant, interrupting his thoughts, "a message for you."
Byakuya accepted the hell butterfly and nodded for it to deliver its missive.
"Byakuya," said Yamamoto soutaichou's somber voice, "Ukitake taichou, Kyouraku taichou and I are visiting from the Seireitei and would very much like to meet you for lunch and perhaps a game of cards. We will be waiting in the high lord's lounge. We hope you can join us."
"That's a relief," Byakuya sighed, "Better than that other man's ridiculous shenanigans."
He walked back to the palace, then bathed and dressed quickly, including in his accessories the traditional fingerless gloves he always wore and the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu that had become more for special occasions. Nodding in farewell to his attendant, he made his way out of his room and through the hallways to the lovely high lord's lounge, an exclusive area reserved for those most closely tied to the king. To his surprise, the other three men were not in their military dress, but also in formal kimonos, and they were alone in the lounge.
He heard the close behind him and frowned questioningly.
"Ah, Byakuya, come and sit down with us," Yamamoto welcomed him.
"Yamamoto soutaichou, it is good to see you," he answered, joining the men at the low table and watching curiously as Kyouraku smiled at him and poured him a glass of fine sake.
"It is good to see you as well," the captain commander said cordially, "I will cut to the chase and just tell you in honesty why we are here."
Byakuya blinked in confusion.
"I thought this was a social call," he said, studying their faces.
"Not exactly," Kyouraku said, smirking.
"Oh?"
"Well," said Ukitake, "you see, we heard that you were seeking a mate."
"Oh...don't tell me that..." Byakuya began, starting to rise.
"Sit down!" Yamamoto said sternly.
Byakuya was surprised that his body still responded immediately to the man's order.
Like not a day has passed since I left the Gotei 13 and came here, he mused inwardly.
"Didn't your grandfather teach you better manners than that?" Yamamoto scolded him, "I am surprised at you!"
"M-my apologies for being rude, but..."
"You are allowing entries into the competition to date you and to see how you connect with them, are you not?"
"W-well, yes, but..."
"Urahara Kisuke's machine has broken down, but we were already here and could not reschedule our entry, so we are having our date with you here instead."
"Your...date with me?" Byakuya repeated, blushing at the glint that had come into the men's eyes, "But you are my mentors. It is not that I don't find you to be...attractive men, but I..."
"We did enter and were accepted," Kyouraku informed him, "so the least you can do is let us try to convince you. I assure you we will be better behaved than the last suitors you considered."
Which is definitely not saying much.
"What are we going to do?" Byakuya asked warily, "You said you wanted to play cards?"
"We will play poker," Yamamoto said firmly.
"Strip poker," Kyouraku added, his smirk deepening.
"Ah."
I am actually good at poker, but what is worse, in this case? Losing and being naked in front of them or watching them all take off their clothes?
"Don't be concerned that seeing us naked will burn your eyes, Kuchiki Byakuya," Yamamoto continued, "We have kept ourselves in good physical condition. I think you will not be disappointed."
"Of course not, Soutaichou," Byakuya answered, misgiving plain in his voice.
"But let us get started."
Byakuya watched closely as the cards were dealt, carefully masking any reaction as he realized his initial hand was exceedingly good. The other three men considered their cards and drew from the deck, then Byakuya discarded a single card and drew. The betting the first round was conservative, but he still collected more than a few of the colored chips to add to the ones he already possessed.
"You play with much the same style as your grandfather," the captain commander complimented him, surrendering his cloak and handing the deck to Kyouraku to start the next hand.
"Arigatou, Soutaichou," Byakuya said politely.
Then, an odd thought occurred to him.
"Eh, Soutaichou, you and my grandfather never...ah...played this kind of poker, ne?"
Yamamoto's enigmatic chuckle unsettled him and his hands were shaking as he picked up his dealt hand.
This hand too is very good, he observed.
When the round ended, Kyouraku parted with his lovely flowered coat.
Play continued with Byakuya drawing excellent hands each time, until the three elder men were down to their underwear and Byakuya had yet to lose a single stitch of clothing. And not meaning to, he did study them out of the corner of one grey eye as they continued to play.
"I think we should make a confession," Ukitake said finally, stopping their play, "We were reluctant to do something bold like take off our clothes in front of you, Byakuya, so we played the card game to relax us."
Byakuya smiled.
"I did not think I was truly so fortunate," he confessed.
"But now that you have us all down to our undergarments, we have arrived at the next part of our game," Kyouraku added.
"The...next part?" Byakuya asked cautiously, "What do you mean?"
"Well," Ukitake went on, "we would like you to examine us each and choose one of us to take off his last garment and kiss you."
"You want me to choose between you?" the noble mused.
Then, he realized.
They have all known me since I was born. They aren't really interested in me. It's a game. A competition between them.
He barely kept from rolling his eyes.
Unforgivable...
"Gentlemen," he said politely, moving from one to the next as they rose and turned, "I don't know how you expect me to do such a thing."
"Well," said Kyouraku, "one of us must be more attractive than the others. Look closer."
"Oh, I have looked closely," Byakuya answered, his dark eyes softening slightly, "and all of you are marvelous specimens. Ukitake taichou," he said, approaching the thirteenth division taichou and almost smirking at the blush his closeness caused, "has the fairest skin."
He moved on to Kyouraku, pausing to admire his well toned physique.
"Kyouraku taichou the loveliest build," he commented appreciatively, barely holding back a chuckle at the notable hitch it caused in the man's breathing.
And Soutaichou," he went on, approaching the captain commander and moving slowly around him, "has a body that reads like one of the finest histories in our family's archive. One could, I think, become lost in it, if one was not careful."
"So, which one of us do you choose to kiss?" asked Ukitake, clearing his throat a bit anxiously.
"I will kiss each of you," Byakuya replied evenly, "After all, each of you was so impressive in body that I am stymied. Only in a kiss can I divine a winner."
He moved towards Ukitake, sliding the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu off and laying it aside, revealing the soft flesh of his throat that was nearly always concealed. But as he leaned forward to kiss the squad 13 taichou, Ukitake began to cough. His face flushed and he lost his composure, coughing repeatedly until an attendant appeared and led him away.
"I...hope he is all right," Byakuya said sedately.
And that he never pulls something like this again...
"I suppose you are next," he went on, approaching Kyouraku, "Will you please remove the rest of your clothes?"
"Ah..."
"Kyouraku taichou!" cried Nanao's voice from the doorway, "Sir, I am sorry to bother you, but it cannot wait!"
"What cannot wait?" Byakuya asked dulcetly, "It will be just a moment."
"Eh, no, I'd better go and see what has her up in arms. My apologies," he said, bowing and hastily escaping the room.
"Hmmm," Byakuya mused, "it seems that only you are left, Soutaichou. Do you still want to kiss me?"
"I do not think that would be advisable," the captain commander said solemnly.
"Oh? Why not?" Byakuya asked.
Soutaichou stripped his undergarment away and Byakuya's eyes widened as he took in the sight of the man's very prominent and flushed, glowing privates. And as soon as they were revealed, his whole body began to radiate with the same deep red glow.
"S-soutaichou?" the noble queried softly, staring in wonder.
"I can only be with one whose ability can counter this effect of Ryuujin Jakka," the elder shinigami explained, "I was fortunate that my late wife had an ice ability that was powerful enough that I did not incinerate her, as the effect intensifies when I am aroused. So, I don't think it would work out between us. I do, however, very much appreciate your assessment of my body. If I was 500 years younger, I might seek ways to...ah, but it's not meant to be."
It took Byakuya several moments to realize that he was still staring at the captain commander's ample, glowing privates.
"Are...you all right, Byakuya?" the other man asked in a concerned tone.
"Y-yes, I am fine. But I...have another engagement. Thank you for coming, Soutaichou. It was...enlightening."
"You are welcome, my boy. Now, off to find your true love."
"Yes, sir."
Byakuya swallowed hard and turned away, still envisioning the man's privates and almost stumbled as he retreated into the hallway. He walked back towards his room in a daze, barely cognizant of his surroundings.
I don't know if I'll ever stop blushing, he mused silently, shaking his head to try to make the image disappear.
So entrenched in his thoughts, he didn't see the other man who turned into the hallway and collided with him, causing both men to stumble and crash to the floor. Byakuya felt a flare of indignant anger, but felt it disappear and his mind go blank as he took in the other person's red hair and bold, black tattoos.
"R-renji?" he breathed, disbelievingly, "Renji, what are you doing here?"
"Taichou! S-sorry, Byakuya!" Renji exclaimed, helping him to his feet, then looking for a moment like he wanted to hug him, before opting instead to offer him a warm handshake, "I'm really, really sorry for crashing into you like that."
"It's fine, but...?"
"Oh yeah," the redhead chuckled, "I've been working with Kurotsuchi taichou..."
"That must be a pleasure," the noble said dryly.
"Yeah, right," Renji laughed, the sound warming Byakuya to the tips of his toes, "He and I have been trying to lock down Aizen's connection with the simulator that Kisuke was using. I was here to talk to Kisuke about things and I got asked to stay over for the next couple of days to get plans in place to keep further problems from happening. Aizen hasn't been molesting you anymore lately, has he?"
"M-molesting me? No. I haven't seen him since...that last time. But I haven't been in the simulator. I hope to avoid it at all costs, at this point, I think."
"Don't tell me you're going to give up on finding a husband," Renji objected.
"I thought you said it was dangerous."
"I was joking, Byakuya. Well, maybe half joking. I don't think you should be alone if you don't want to be. Maybe you just need to think of another way to..."
"Oh, Abarai-san!" Kisuke called out from down the hall, "I was looking for you."
"I was about to invite Renji to have tea," Byakuya asserted.
"Can I borrow him for just a minute?"
"I'll be right back, Taichou...erm, Byakuya," Renji promised, following Kisuke down the hall.
Byakuya watched them walk out of sight, then returned to his room and ordered the tea to be made. He waited quietly as the sun set and the tea cooled, his mood darkening as the hour grew later and he finally abandoned the tea altogether and flash stepped to the balcony, then down into the royal gardens. He knelt at the edge of the king's healing pool, wishing fervently that he could rid the three worlds of that one man who seemed to be single-handedly derailing his every chance to get Renji alone.
"What was I thinking?" he whispered, looking down into the rippling water and feeling an unbearable weight on his heart, "He had every chance to say something, to do something, and he never did. He doesn't love me and he never will. I have to accept that."
"Aww, c'mon," Renji's voice said, startling him as the redhead appeared in front of him, "You can't have an attitude like that. If you do, you'll never convince this guy to be with you. What you have to do is take the initiative...you know, like you told me when we were training."
"That was for battle, Abarai," Byakuya said dryly.
"It's the same thing," Renji said, stepping forward as Byakuya came to his feet.
He slipped an arm around the surprised noble and looked down into his eyes, smiling.
"Just grab him and give him a big, wet smooch and let nature do the rest!"
Byakuya wasn't sure what sort of fever flashed through him at the moment, but he suddenly leaned forward and crashed his lips into the redhead's, stunning Renji into silence. They stared at each other in the fading light, then Renji broke into a wide grin.
"Yeah, exactly!" he exclaimed, "Do that to him and there's no way he's ever going to walk away!"
The redhead turned and disappeared back into the palace, leaving Byakuya staring after him. The noble's legs gave way and he dropped to his knees and put his face in his hands.
"It's hopeless," he groaned, "Completely hopeless..."
