Chapter 6: Dutiful Love

Byakuya scowled unhappily as he left his suite and headed for Urahara's lab.

I cannot believe I am still doing this. I don't know what the point is, given that every time I enter that simulator, it ends in embarrassment and disaster. I think Urhara and Senpai are just having fun teasing me. I am never going to find a lover this way. I already know who I love. It is just...we seem destined not to be together.

Who am I to fight fate?

Maybe I should just accept the first person who doesn't seem completely unbalanced or out to kill me. Otherwise, I will never find anyone at all. And the truth is, I don't want to be alone. More than that, though, I really want to be with Renji. If there was just a way...

"Hey Byakuya," Renji's voice greeted him, breaking him out of his reverie, "Where are you off to?"

Byakuya sighed.

"Urahara-san says he has another simulation for me," he answered, "And although I have large misgivings, I suppose I should go."

"I don't know," Renji chuckled, "It seems you get into too much trouble, between Kisuke setting you up and Aizen sneaking in and trying to molest you."

"Well, trying to tell the person I actually desire has only ended up in disaster every time. I begin to think that he and I will only ever be friends. And the truth is, I really do want to find love again, Renji...not just friendship, but true love. I thought I had found that, but the person I love doesn't seem to return the feeling."

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," the redhead said sympathetically, "But there are still applicants, right? It's not over. I think you still have a chance to be happy, and that's all I want for you."

If only you could see how much I want you, Renji...

"Thank you, Renji," Byakuya said, slowing as they reached the laboratory, "That is very kind. I hope I will see you later, perhaps for dinner?"

"That would be nice," Renji answered, grinning, "I'm glad I got called up here to help out. It's really good seeing you."

"It's good seeing you too, Renji."

"Well, good luck with the fantasy," Renji said, turning and flash stepping away.

"Thank you," Byakuya said, dryly, shaking his head and sighing heavily as he entered Urahara's lab, "I will probably need it just to emerge alive..."

"Ah, Byakuya-san," Kisuke greeted him, smiling, "are we all ready to try this thing again?"

"Not really," the noble said, frowning, "but let's get it over with. I have work to do. I am responsible for the king's protection, after all."

"Yes, of course," the scientist chuckled, "All right, why don't you get into the simulator?"

Byakuya gave him a scathing glare.

"There had better be no tricks this time, or so help me, I will give this up and happily live alone for the rest of eternity. Truly, instead of helping me find a mate, this exercise is just making me think it's not worth the pain and annoyance."

"Oh, try not to be so sour about it," Kisuke encouraged him, "Look, I promise this one's not bad. It's someone you like, someone you will probably be glad to see, if I figure it right."

"And you are so good at anticipating me," Byakuya said with sedate sarcasm.

"Go on. Get in the simulator," Kisuke laughed, "I promise it won't bite this time."

"That's what you've said every time," Byakuya said under his breath, "I should have my head examined for doing this."

Byakuya sat down in the chair and closed his eyes, flinching as the machine engaged and he was carried into the next fantasy.

He was instantly pleased to see that the location in the new fantasy was one that was old, loved and terribly missed. He stepped down into a lovely meadow, next of a large lake that was filled by a pretty waterfall.

"Kuchiki Manor," he whispered, "It still feels like home, even now."

He couldn't help but smile at the lovely scents of sakura, water and green grass, the tranquil splash of the waterfall, the coolness of the air and the general serenity of his new surroundings. Then, a gentle male voice sounded behind him, making his heart catch and his lips smile reflexively.

"Byakuya-sama."

"Tetsuya," Byakuya replied in a deeply proud tone as he faced his beautiful cousin, admiring Tetsuya's slighter build, his enchanting sapphire eyes and long waves of barely tamed black hair, "Watashi no itoko, it is...wonderful to see you!"

"It is good to see you also," Tetsuya answered, moving closer and stepping into Byakuya long, warm embrace.

"So, you are interested in courting me?" he asked, "But how can that be? You and I both know that you are interested in someone else, Tetsuya. Why would you do this?"

"I heard from Renji that you were having a difficult time, and I entered the contest late to be able to speak with you. But we can certainly enjoy our former places while you are here for our date."

Byakuya sighed in relief and hugged his cousin more tightly.

"Thank you, Tetsuya. I could use a break from the insanity."

The two walked in among the trees, breathing in the pleasant scents and enjoying the soft petals that tickled sweetly as they fell on the two.

"How is that scoundrel, Shima Kurushimi?" Byakuya asked, smiling at the blush it brought to Tetsuya's face, "I trust he is treating you honorably? You are, after all, the presiding regent of the Kuchiki clan until I have an heir."

"He is treating me honorably," Tetsuya assured him, "and in fact, Kuri is about to petition the Kuchiki elders for my hand in marriage."

"Which makes it quite scandalous that you are here, trying to court me," Byakuya said, smirking.

Tetsuya laughed, making Byakuya's heart warm inside his chest.

"It is good to see you so happy, Cousin."

"You should be happy too," Tetsuya reasoned, "Byakuya-sama, you and I both know that you have loved Abarai Renji from afar, and for a long time. I know you are participating in this contest mostly to please his majesty, but at some point, don't you think you should just tell Renji about your feelings? I know that he will..."

"I tried to tell him," Byakuya sighed, capturing a pretty pink cherry blossom on his fingertip, "And every time, something stopped me from getting the point across. I even kissed him, but he thought I was just...I don't know, giving an example of what I would do with the one I loved. He doesn't seem to notice anything I do. I don't know what to do to make him see."

"Well, don't give up," Tetsuya encouraged him, taking his hand and squeezing it, "As long as you don't give up, your goal is still possible. You told me that often enough, and now the dreams I thought were gone when I lost my Naoki, are all coming true. You really just need to keep trying, Byakuya-sama. Renji-san will come around. Sometimes it just takes him some time to make sense of things. You know that about him."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, a helpless smile touching his lips, "Sometimes Renji can be a bit rock-headed about things. Strangely, where it used to annoy me, now I find it quite endearing...except that it is now standing in the way of him perceiving what I feel for him. I don't want Renji to change, but as it is, it seems he will never notice me desiring him."

Tetsuya started to answer, but paused as a flash step sounded and a rustically handsome latino man with brown hair and attractive turquoise eyes appeared in front of them. Instantly, Tetsuya's expression brightened and Byakuya's darkened slightly.

"Shima Kurushimi," Byakuya greeted the man solemnly.

"Byakurai," Kuri answered, greeting Byakuya with one of his infamous nicknames.

"How did you enter this simulation?" Byakuya asked, "It seems security in here is unforgivably lax."

"I have my ways," Kuri chuckled, "and I was motivated to come when I heard that you were going to attempt to steal away my lovely Tetsu-hana. I wasn't about to let that happen. And Tetsu-hana," he said teasingly, "How can you do this after I have professed my love to you and asked if you will let me ask your elders for permission to marry you?"

Tetsuya blushed.

"I wasn't going to leave you for Byakuya-sama, and you know that!" he chided the Shima leader, "This was just the fastest way to get to spend some time with Byakuya-sama and to help him attract Renji-san's attention."

"Ah, that is a big problem, isn't it?" Kuri mused, "Don't get me wrong, I love Ren-ren-nii, but he is a little block-headed at times, isn't he? He is fun to share a bottle of Tequila with, but don't let things get too complicated."

"You may cease insulting him," Byakuya said, scowling, "If you persist..."

"Apologies, of course, Byakurai," Kuri said, smirking at the deadly look Byakuya gave him in reply, "but you and I both know that Ren-ren-nii isn't always so perceptive. Still, Tetsu-hana is right. If you persist relentlessly, he will have no choice but to fall into your waiting arms."

"Which is the way you wore down my cousin's defenses and got him to date you," Byakuya said dryly.

"That is not nice," Kuri said, frowning, "Are you this charming with Ren-ren-nii? I wonder why he isn't falling all over himself professing his love to you. He must fear the humiliation."

"Kuri-kuri, don't tease my cousin!" Tetsuya protested, "He is really trying hard to get Renji to understand."

"I know, but he shouldn't be saying things like that about our love," Kuri countered, crossing his arms and frowning.

"Well," Tetsuya observed, "You did pursue me very aggressively like he said."

"Was I supposed to let you get away from me, my love?" Kuri mused, "Tu amor es como el aire. No puedo respirar si yo no lo tengo." (Your love is like the air. I can't breathe if I don't have it.)

"I love you too," Tetsuya assured him, "I just meant that it's understandable that Byakuya-sama is frustrated. He is trying so hard and Renji-san just doesn't see."

"Yes, well, I could have a talk with him," Kuri offered.

"No!" Byakuya and Tetsuya said emphatically, earning a roguish smirk from the Shima leader.

"Heh, you are probably right," he laughed, "I would probably loosen him up by drinking with him and we would never get around to what I meant to tell him."

"This is not helping," Byakuya said brusquely, "I will have to handle this myself. I'll just have to try talking to him again. I think it's the only way. But I should find him. I don't know how long he'll be here in the royal realm."

He turned to smile at Tetsuya.

"But thank you for coming here and trying to help, watashi no itoko. It was pleasant to walk again in the home we shared as teens growing up."

"For me too," Tetsuya agreed, hugging Byakuya again, then breaking away.

He started to leave, but Kuri laid a hand on his arm. Tetsuya looked up at his boyfriend questioningly.

"What is it, Kuri-kuri?" Tetsuya asked.

"Shouldn't you be kissing him goodbye?" Kuri teased, "It is, after all, your date with him. It's only polite."

Tetsuya flushed brightly and started to protest, but a gleam came into Byakuya's eyes and he embraced his cousin again and gave Tetsuya a tender, chaste kiss that left the blue-eyed Kuchiki standing frozen and staring back at him with a dazed and flustered expression. Kuri laughed good naturedly.

"Byakurai, you will never win Ren-ren-nii's heart with a brotherly kiss like that! You must kiss him like this!"

Kuri swept Tetsuya into his arms and sank deeply into his mouth, feasting contentedly on Tetsuya's objecting lips and soft pink tongue.

"K-kuri!" he managed, his knees going weak.

"You see," Kurushimi said, smiling widely, "If you kiss him like this, he can't run away. He won't have the strength once your mouth undoes him."

"Kuri, don't say things like th..."

The Shima leader ended Tetsuya's objection with another melting kiss that left even Byakuya blushing.

"Do you get the point now?" Kuri chuckled, smirking devilishly.

"Yes," Byakuya snapped, "You may stop molesting my cousin in front of me. Much more of that and this fantasy will turn into a porn movie."

"Well, it is a fantasy after all," Kuri reminded him, "But you should be the one finding your dream lover. Tetsu-hana and I have given you our best advice. We must go, but best of luck, Byakurai. I am sure you will find the way to sweep Ren-ren-nii off his feet."

"Thank you for the encouragement," Byakuya sighed, watching as the two disappeared.

He thought of leaving the simulation, but chose instead to walk quietly along the forest paths he and Tetsuya had frequented as teens. And even though his heart ached with loneliness, it did feel good to walk through even a hallucination of his former home. He walked back to the manor and found, to his surprise, that it represented, not the manor as it was presently, but the way it was when he and Tetsuya had shared their formative years.

This is truly a comfort. I wouldn't have expected this from Urahara Kisuke. He wasn't about through most of the time when Tetsuya and I were teens.

Byakuya paused as Aizen's voice sounded in his mind.

No, he wasn't, Byakuya, my dear, but I was...

Byakuya felt a little shiver inside, but he remained still and quiet as Aizen appeared in front of him.

"I thought Urahara Kisuke promised that you wouldn't be making any more appearances," Byakuya said, frowning, "Although, I must be a fool for trusting anything that man tells me."

"Oh, you shouldn't blame him," Aizen said, smirking, "It's just that he and I are both fascinated with science, so we do compete a bit for enjoyment. In any case, I was watching you, and I've noticed that as these simulations go on, all that seems to be happening is that your sweet, oblivious Renji keeps rescuing, then abandoning you. It's appalling, really. A true hero would never let a beautiful lover like you go."

Byakuya gave him a derisive look.

"You always let me go," he observed, "Every time."

Aizen's smiled warmed in a way that was somehow both touching and a little frightening.

"That is because I know you don't really love me. Oh, we enjoy the chase and the little comforts, but it is really that we are both lonely."

"Aizen Sousuke admits to me that he is lonely."

"Well, I wouldn't be if you would just fall madly in love with me. But since that won't happen until you give up on pursuing that witless, red-haired warrior, I will try to help you resolve things."

"Oh? And how is that?" Byakuya asked.

"Wickedly, of course!" Aizen said, raising his blade, "Shatter, Kyouka Suigetsu."

Before Byakuya could react, the scene before him flashed and exploded into a blinding array of every single moment he had spent with Renji, from the little, insignificant exchanges at the sixth division, to their struggle over Rukia and on into their growing friendship. He focused on one particular memory and sought it out, then let himself fall into it in an unending repetition. Again and again, he watched his zanpakutou finally break under the force of Renji's power and fell into the redhead's waiting arms, where he could look up into Renji's proud, happy expression.

I should have kissed him then, he chided himself, If I had, then everything would be different. But I made my choice and there is no going back.

He felt tears in his eyes as Aizen's voice reached him again.

Byakuya, are you saying that you just regret that moment, or are you accepting that your chance to capture Renji's heart has passed and you should move on? Because if you are ready to let go of him, I can now pull you out of this simulation and bring you to Las Noches to be with me.

What would you like me to do?

The choice is yours.

Byakuya fell into Renji's arms again and gazed up at him sadly.

"I am sorry, Renji," he apologized, blinking away tears as he grabbed the redhead tightly and kissed him roughly, "I should have kissed you then."

To his surprise, the dreamy haze that had been around him suddenly disappeared and he found Renji was really holding him, and his arms were wrapped around the redhead's neck. He started to speak, then winced as he realized he was back in Kisuke's laboratory.

"Thank kami you got him out," Kisuke sighed, "I don't know how Aizen took the simulation over. I will have to check that out thoroughly. You might want to take Byakuya-san to the infirmary and have him checked out. He seems a little out of it, if you ask me. Though...that was some kiss."

"Yeah," Renji said, blushing, "too bad it didn't mean anything."

"But it does!" Byakuya insisted, "Renji, I love you!"

Renji smiled down at him.

"You're so cute, Byakuya. I'm just sorry Aizen messed with you like this."

"Would you stop that, you moron?" Byakuya snapped, "Put me down! I am not hallucinating. I am in love with you!"

Renji gazed back at him and shook his head, frowning.

"He's still really out of it. Should you knock him out before he embarrasses himself? I don't want him being embarrassed."

Kisuke took a step forward and Byakuya disappeared out of the laboratory in a blazing flash step.

"Man," Renji sighed, "he could get himself in trouble. I'd better go find him."

"Eh, he probably went back to his suite to mope," Kisuke suggested, "Good luck getting him straightened out. Oh, and if you could just...keep him busy until he isn't mad enough to kill me over what happened in the simulator, that would be great."

"Huh," Renji huffed in annoyance, "He should kill you for that. I sure would."

Renji left the laboratory and walked back to Byakuya's suite, where he found Torio standing outside the door, wearing a worried expression.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked the attendant, "Is Byakuya okay?"

"I don't know," Torio confessed, "He told me to leave...that he would dress himself for bed. But Renji-san, he had tears in his eyes. He looked miserable!"

"Damn!" Renji swore, "Stupid Aizen..."

He glanced at the closed door.

"You'd better let me go talk to him."

"B-but he said he didn't want anyone to enter the room."

"Aww, but the only reason he's doing that is because Aizen Sousuke tampered with his simulation and hypnotized him. It'll wear off, but I should really go and take care of him."

"I think you're right," Torio said, moving aside and allowing Renji to pass by him, "I think he needs you."

Renji stepped into the bedroom and found it empty. The doors to the balcony that overlooked the gardens had been opened and Byakuya stood, dressed in flowing white and glowing under the bright moon. He looked so peaceful and beautiful it made the redhead stop and stare for several long moments, before he shook his head to clear it, and stepped out to join the noble.

"Hey uh, I'm sorry for barging in. It's not Torio's fault, I was just real worried about you. Don't be pissed at me, okay?"

"I'm not angry," Byakuya said in a sad, distant voice, "not at you, anyway. I am...rather glad you came to me."

"Yeah well, just so you know, I'm not going to take advantage of you, just because Aizen played his tricks. I'm here to take care of you. I'll just...I'll stay here with you until the spell wears off and you're yourself again. I'll stay all night if I have to."

Byakuya gave a long sigh and sank into the redhead's arms wearily. He let himself be lifted and carried back to bed, where Renji tucked him in, then undressed down to his yukata and climbed in bed beside the deflated noble. Byakuya snuggled warmly into Renji's arms and fell into a sound sleep, both content in being held by the one he loved and stymied at how he would ever get the red-haired idiot to believe him.

But at least for tonight, these arms will hold me.

At least for tonight, I will be in a dream so beautiful, I won't want to wake.