Evangelion Fan Funny
Chapter 8: ...
=======================================================================
The author would like to take a moment to clarify the few mistakes he had
made during the course of his early writing...
BUT HE'S NOT FUCKING HERE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!!
This is D, coming live from the desk of Vicil 2000 to BITCH-SLAP EVERYTHING HE STANDS FOR!!! SHAZZAM!!! That's right! I'm taking control of the reigns of this story!
Now let's continue the review...
======================================================================= STUDiO D Presents A BOOB-TUBE Production of
BAD WRITING BLUNDERS Series Premier!
With your host, D, the corporeal representation of Vicil's sociopath subconscious!
Now here's you host, D!
[Applause]
D: Thank you everyone. Tonight, we are here to burn a RAGING ASSHOLE at the stake for high crimes against the freedom of fanfic writers everywhere. We will be criticizing in depth all of his stories and blunders of the self proclaimed 'Vision' of Vicil 2000 and his horrible attempts at writing. But it's no fun simply to stay within the confines of EFF alone. We will be laying out the events which led to this abomination, revealing him to be nothing more than a copycat and cheat, because an explanation is badly needed.
Approximately three years ago there was a 16 year old TV addict and D average student who actually thought he would become an engineer until one day he realized that the downtown comic book shop rented out a large collection of anime titles. He took home the first two copies of Evangelion, claiming that the 'cool looking robots' interested him. Between weekly movie updates of what happened next in the series, he would frequently surf the web looking for episode guides, screenshots, and of course, hentai. It was during such an escapade that he happened to stumble upon a curious link labeled 'fanfiction,' and it all went downhill from there.
The idea that stories based off TV shows and literature existed sparked the boy's interest in reading. However, his first long reading project, 'The One I Love Is,' closed his mind to Rei/Shinji pairings. He became obsessed with the idea that the conclusion of a story, no matter how badly written, if it had an Asuka/Shinji ending, was WORTH reading. He went on to read many A/S lemons, some A/S romances, and the occasional humorous, including the widely popular 'Is nothing sacred?" by Godsend777; perhaps the most influential of all the fanfics he had ever read, because not three months later, after he had learned to use a semi colon (;), The first chapter of perhaps the second worst A/S fanfic in the world, Evangelion Fan Funny, was released.
The point of Evangelion Fan Funny was to spawn the same type of humor birthed by Godsend777 in 'Is nothing sacred?' However some subconscious need to express himself quickly degraded the story into a self-showcase with hundreds of cameos of things that were new to him: including hentai, lemons, Robin Williams LIVE, and a showcase of fanfics he slammed and sang about publicly.
The story has been ruined. There is simply so much to keep track of that it isn't funny anymore. Even my existence as a character and arch villain is a blunder. Originally, the concept for my character was a half-assed caricature of the devil with a floating mouth that wasn't attached to his body, D for short. By chapter 6 he had learned of Vampire Hunter D, not to be confused with me. He then split the story into two different adventures which seemingly have no effect on each other! The Maya/Ritsuko love sessions were inserted for comic relief, and then they connected with Hikari jamming her foot up Touji's ass, and now Touji and Hikari are at Touji's house with nothing to do. What the hell does that have to do with my army destroying all A/S fanfics? Honestly! Third, Maya is Hikari's mom? What's up with that? Maya's last name is Ibuki, not Horaki! And who's the husband? Fourth, where am I during all of this? I took over in chapter four and I haven't been in the story since!!! I'm the arch villain!!! WHY AREN'T THERE ANY SCENES OF ME PLOTTING AND SCHEMING!!! I SHOULD BE... Duh, I haven't done anything since I created the army. I've just been letting the story write itself... but even if...
[It was at this point that D came to a startle. He made a break for the computer screen.]
It has gotten so far out of control that an ending is becoming less and less of a possibility. I must play my final hand befoh my GOD!!!
======================================================================= Back in the story...
"You have nothing to fear, any of you." Vicil shouted to the Asukanian army. "With our collective force, the battle is already won. As long as the sun, moon and earth exist, WE WILL PREVAIL!!!"
Vicil's army of Asuka's stood up from their seats and cheered. Vicil lifted his laptop above his head and bellowed a victory cry with the crowd. At the far edge of the amphitheatre, sat Shinji, Kaworu, Asuka, Rei, Pen Pen and the parents. "That was an excellent speech." Exclaimed Gendo while clapping. "Very inspirational." Added Yui. Rei scoffed. "It was full of unnecessary obscenities and it was difficult to understand; some things don't connect at all; and all of those 'lighthearted' jokes he made were so mediocre, only a mental patient would find them funny." Kyoko began to chuckle. "Silly, silly Rei. You is bummered and have no sense of laugh. Don't get heavy." Rei shot a puzzled, raised eyebrow Asuka's way. "She means, 'lighten up.'" Asuka replied.
======================================================================= Outside in the semi-real world...?
D slammed his fists down on the desk.
"ASUKA, ASUKA, ASUKA!!! They should be destroyed!!! All of my plans worthless because of an army of incompetence!!! ARRG- Rei?! They even have a Rei?! Where did they get that from?!!!"
======================================================================= After scrolling up a few pages- I mean, flashback...
Rei started smashing air guitar.
"Your love! BAAAD medicine!-"
CRASH!!!
The wall caved in from the outside
"EEP!" Rei squealed.
"SHUT UP REI!!!" Came a shout from down the hall.
The smoke cleared revealing Vicil, Shinji, Kaworu, Asuka and Pen Pen.
"Get her!" Vicil barked.
Kaworu and Asuka leapt toward Rei. Asuka locked her arms around Rei's ankles and Kaworu tackled... well, he leapt into the air as a beautiful swan and called, "Catch me!" to Rei, knocking her over and pinning her to the floor. His face pressed into her 'attributes.'
[D: HA! Ha! Ha!]
"Somebody, help me!" Rei squealed.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" the voice from down the hall boomed again. Vicil closed the door on the other occupants of the house. Take note that if scary, panic music had been playing in the background, and if we had seen Vicil close the door from outside the room, this would look like a murder.
"Let's move out."
Shinji duck-taped Rei's mouth and Pen Pen pulled a hood over her face; then they picked her up, exited through the hole in the wall and disappeared into the night.
======================================================================= Later... in the flashback...
They removed the hood and tore the duck tape from Rei's mouth. She squealed again, but the group shoved her to the ground. She doubled over and backed into a corner as Vicil stepped out from the shadows pressing a long blade under her chin.
Rei started shaking. "What do you want from me?"
"We want some questions answered Rei." He growled. "We need you to tell us where Shinji is."
"Shinji? What are you talking about? He was with you!" She pointed into the shadows.
"Way wrong answer." Vicil grunted. Pen Pen stepped out of the darkness from where Rei was pointing, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at her. "You are the leader of an army trying sent to destroy the freedom of fanfiction. There are Shinji's missing from every Asuka/Shinji paired romance on the net. Where are they?"
"Fanfiction? Are you people insane?!" Rei screamed. Pen Pen replied by pulling back the hammer. "Oh, God."
"I'll ask again. Where are they?"
"I don't know what you people are talking about!!!" Rei screamed.
Pen Pen opened fire. Three shots exploded from the gun barrel and ricocheted off the stone wall around Rei's head. Rei shrieked as she saw her life flash before her eyes. She trembled in the corner. When she realized she wasn't dead, she opened her eyes to see the smoking gun.
"My little friend here has two more shots in that monster," Vicil growled again, "and at the count of three, both of them may be in your head. One..."
"I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" Rei screamed.
"Two..."
"MY NAME IS REI AYANAMI!!! I'M IN JUNIOR HIGH AND-!"
Pen Pen fired off another round above her head. A scream erupted from the shadows. However, Rei's scream of terror was quickly drowned out as Vicil's scream of pain took over his demeanor. He dropped his sword and started hopping up and down, holding his wounded leg. Pen Pen did a double take as Vicil collapsed beside him in agony. "Stupid, fucking bird!!! You shot me!!! YOU SHOT ME!!!" Vicil shriked. Kaworu turned on the lights, revealing everyone in the room. "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Asuka shouted. "It's only a ricochet!" Shinji turned toward Asuka. "Asuka, that's an awful thing to sayyyYYYYEEEUUUUUUGH!!!" Asuka's left eye was splattered all over her face and some of Shinji's clothes. "No it isn't! I got hit and you don't see me whining about it!" "Oh my god!!!" Shinji screamed. "We need to get you to a hospital or something!" "FREEZE, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Everyone spun their heads around. Rei was on her feet with Vicil's sword and Pen Pen hooked under her arm. Pen Pen was flapping his flippers wildly trying to escape, as birds normally do. "Nobody move, urgh, or the b-bird, ow, the bird, ptht, the bird gets it, pthtptht!" Of course, since Vicil was on the gound in front of Rei, this afforded him a nice view. "PANTIES!!!" he squealed. "Wait..."
======================================================================= Flashback...
"Back-street's-back! ALRIGHT!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, REI!!!"
"YOU SHUT UP!!!
"YOU!!!"
"YOU!!!"
"YOU!!!"
"YOOOOU!!!"
======================================================================= Present... well not the present, still in the flashback...
WHAM!!!
"You dirty old man!" Rei screamed as she nailed Vicil across the face.
======================================================================= Later... after later in the flashback...
"I am so sorry, Rei. I totally forgot you were in this story." Vicil squeaked as the doc penguin sewed up the bullet wound.
"You FORGOT about me?!"
======================================================================= Back in the semi-real world... in the present...
"Reconstructive surgery... surgery... surgery..." D continued to update himself on events. "... big speech... revolution... Rei thought it sucked. My god, he's massed an army powerful enough to... It matters not. As long as I'm out here and he's in there, I'm totally safe! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWA..."
======================================================================= The next day...
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWA..."
======================================================================= That evening...
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWA..."
======================================================================= Back in the computer...
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! THE LAUGHING!!! THE LAAAAAAAAAAUGHING!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHA!"
"Asuka! Shinji's losing it again!"
"Mr. Ikari! Shinji's losing it again!"
"LAAAAAAAAAAUGHING!!!"
"Honey! Shinji's losing it again!"
"IT DOESN'T EVER STOP!!!"
"Asuka! Shinji's losing it again! Would you be a dear and put him to bed!"
"What?!"
"I said, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR AND PUT HIM TO BED!"
"TAKE HIM OUT TO THE SHED?!"
"PUT HIM TO BED!"
"SIT ON HIS HEAD?!"
"YES!"
"OKAY!"
"BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDMMFF---!"
... mwahahahahahahahahh... mwahahahahahahahahh...
"Oh, God... it's still laughing." Vicil moaned as he rubbed his eyes. "I haven't slept in two days and this is going on the third night."
======================================================================= Outside... of the base, not the computer...
Vicil kicked open the door and dragged himself outside, wrapped in a blanket and bunny slippers, with a limp of course. He looked up into the night sky to see a giant translucent image of D listening to a tape recording he made of himself laughing in his sleep.
"That fiend... It's dumbfounding how evil I see myself... Maybe I shouldn't have picked on him."
ZOW!
======================================================================= Outside, in the semi-real world...
Vicil was sucked out of his computer, tipping over his chair and impacting on the floor, somersaulting, and landing upright on the couch in his living room. He did a double take of his surroundings, noticing he was even back in his original body. A gay smile spread across his unshaven face. D plopped down next to him on the couch and extended his hand. "Truce?" "Truce." Vicil grabbed the hand and shook it twice. With that, D disappeared, supposedly back where it came from.
God's in his heaven. All is right in the world.
======================================================================= In the real world...
"The end." Sighed the author. He took another sip of his Java and turned toward the reader. "I'd like to talk to you about Evangelion Fan Funny.
"EFF was indeed my first fanfic as D described, but around the time I released the seventh chapter, it was pointed out to me, by Rus, that I had strayed from the love theme I was going for when I first started EFF. You may admit that by the third chapter I had gold in the palm of my hand.
"However, when I made myself a character I had to make myself important as a character, causing a huge chain of random cameos just to keep the story funny, because I was no longer the comic relief, hence beginning my long sabbatical from the production of such quality material. I've been trying for a long time, but as things stand now there's no way I can finish this.
"Therefore I have an announcement. I hereby announce a new EFF project, Evangelion Fan Funny Version 2. The story is to pick up after chapter three of EFF and conclude with a much funnier, self-insert-free ending; but I am not the writer. The rights for EFFV2 will go to one writer whom has never before written a fan fiction about Evangelion and is looking for ideas. Contact me at vicil2000@sasktel.net and the story is yours.
"Also, I want you all to pay heed to the final phrase of the story: God's in his heaven, all is right in the world. Evangelion Fan Funny will stay posted in my account as a lesson to all first time writers of what not to do. Try to be creative with your work instead of introducing yourself to fellow readers as the writer, director and lead-role in the newest fanfic to line the superhighway, because, if you're in it, well, then it's not really about EVA anymore, is it.
"As for EFF as it stands now...
======================================================================= Epilogue...
Vicil sighed as he deleted the last four chapters of his adventures. He saved it to disk and put it away, ready for a good night and day's sleep, eager to dream about the new adventures Evangelion Fan Funny would have.
The morning after next...
"ARRRRGH! FUCKING WRITERS BLOCK!!!"
He decided he would need some help with this. Vicil grabbed his pants, tucked the disk in his shirt pocket, and headed over to his friend's house. The home of...
======================================================================= In the real world...
"I'd love to proof-read if you ever need one! Bye-bye everybody!"
Theme music: Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim
THE END!!!
BUT HE'S NOT FUCKING HERE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!!
This is D, coming live from the desk of Vicil 2000 to BITCH-SLAP EVERYTHING HE STANDS FOR!!! SHAZZAM!!! That's right! I'm taking control of the reigns of this story!
Now let's continue the review...
======================================================================= STUDiO D Presents A BOOB-TUBE Production of
BAD WRITING BLUNDERS Series Premier!
With your host, D, the corporeal representation of Vicil's sociopath subconscious!
Now here's you host, D!
[Applause]
D: Thank you everyone. Tonight, we are here to burn a RAGING ASSHOLE at the stake for high crimes against the freedom of fanfic writers everywhere. We will be criticizing in depth all of his stories and blunders of the self proclaimed 'Vision' of Vicil 2000 and his horrible attempts at writing. But it's no fun simply to stay within the confines of EFF alone. We will be laying out the events which led to this abomination, revealing him to be nothing more than a copycat and cheat, because an explanation is badly needed.
Approximately three years ago there was a 16 year old TV addict and D average student who actually thought he would become an engineer until one day he realized that the downtown comic book shop rented out a large collection of anime titles. He took home the first two copies of Evangelion, claiming that the 'cool looking robots' interested him. Between weekly movie updates of what happened next in the series, he would frequently surf the web looking for episode guides, screenshots, and of course, hentai. It was during such an escapade that he happened to stumble upon a curious link labeled 'fanfiction,' and it all went downhill from there.
The idea that stories based off TV shows and literature existed sparked the boy's interest in reading. However, his first long reading project, 'The One I Love Is,' closed his mind to Rei/Shinji pairings. He became obsessed with the idea that the conclusion of a story, no matter how badly written, if it had an Asuka/Shinji ending, was WORTH reading. He went on to read many A/S lemons, some A/S romances, and the occasional humorous, including the widely popular 'Is nothing sacred?" by Godsend777; perhaps the most influential of all the fanfics he had ever read, because not three months later, after he had learned to use a semi colon (;), The first chapter of perhaps the second worst A/S fanfic in the world, Evangelion Fan Funny, was released.
The point of Evangelion Fan Funny was to spawn the same type of humor birthed by Godsend777 in 'Is nothing sacred?' However some subconscious need to express himself quickly degraded the story into a self-showcase with hundreds of cameos of things that were new to him: including hentai, lemons, Robin Williams LIVE, and a showcase of fanfics he slammed and sang about publicly.
The story has been ruined. There is simply so much to keep track of that it isn't funny anymore. Even my existence as a character and arch villain is a blunder. Originally, the concept for my character was a half-assed caricature of the devil with a floating mouth that wasn't attached to his body, D for short. By chapter 6 he had learned of Vampire Hunter D, not to be confused with me. He then split the story into two different adventures which seemingly have no effect on each other! The Maya/Ritsuko love sessions were inserted for comic relief, and then they connected with Hikari jamming her foot up Touji's ass, and now Touji and Hikari are at Touji's house with nothing to do. What the hell does that have to do with my army destroying all A/S fanfics? Honestly! Third, Maya is Hikari's mom? What's up with that? Maya's last name is Ibuki, not Horaki! And who's the husband? Fourth, where am I during all of this? I took over in chapter four and I haven't been in the story since!!! I'm the arch villain!!! WHY AREN'T THERE ANY SCENES OF ME PLOTTING AND SCHEMING!!! I SHOULD BE... Duh, I haven't done anything since I created the army. I've just been letting the story write itself... but even if...
[It was at this point that D came to a startle. He made a break for the computer screen.]
It has gotten so far out of control that an ending is becoming less and less of a possibility. I must play my final hand befoh my GOD!!!
======================================================================= Back in the story...
"You have nothing to fear, any of you." Vicil shouted to the Asukanian army. "With our collective force, the battle is already won. As long as the sun, moon and earth exist, WE WILL PREVAIL!!!"
Vicil's army of Asuka's stood up from their seats and cheered. Vicil lifted his laptop above his head and bellowed a victory cry with the crowd. At the far edge of the amphitheatre, sat Shinji, Kaworu, Asuka, Rei, Pen Pen and the parents. "That was an excellent speech." Exclaimed Gendo while clapping. "Very inspirational." Added Yui. Rei scoffed. "It was full of unnecessary obscenities and it was difficult to understand; some things don't connect at all; and all of those 'lighthearted' jokes he made were so mediocre, only a mental patient would find them funny." Kyoko began to chuckle. "Silly, silly Rei. You is bummered and have no sense of laugh. Don't get heavy." Rei shot a puzzled, raised eyebrow Asuka's way. "She means, 'lighten up.'" Asuka replied.
======================================================================= Outside in the semi-real world...?
D slammed his fists down on the desk.
"ASUKA, ASUKA, ASUKA!!! They should be destroyed!!! All of my plans worthless because of an army of incompetence!!! ARRG- Rei?! They even have a Rei?! Where did they get that from?!!!"
======================================================================= After scrolling up a few pages- I mean, flashback...
Rei started smashing air guitar.
"Your love! BAAAD medicine!-"
CRASH!!!
The wall caved in from the outside
"EEP!" Rei squealed.
"SHUT UP REI!!!" Came a shout from down the hall.
The smoke cleared revealing Vicil, Shinji, Kaworu, Asuka and Pen Pen.
"Get her!" Vicil barked.
Kaworu and Asuka leapt toward Rei. Asuka locked her arms around Rei's ankles and Kaworu tackled... well, he leapt into the air as a beautiful swan and called, "Catch me!" to Rei, knocking her over and pinning her to the floor. His face pressed into her 'attributes.'
[D: HA! Ha! Ha!]
"Somebody, help me!" Rei squealed.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" the voice from down the hall boomed again. Vicil closed the door on the other occupants of the house. Take note that if scary, panic music had been playing in the background, and if we had seen Vicil close the door from outside the room, this would look like a murder.
"Let's move out."
Shinji duck-taped Rei's mouth and Pen Pen pulled a hood over her face; then they picked her up, exited through the hole in the wall and disappeared into the night.
======================================================================= Later... in the flashback...
They removed the hood and tore the duck tape from Rei's mouth. She squealed again, but the group shoved her to the ground. She doubled over and backed into a corner as Vicil stepped out from the shadows pressing a long blade under her chin.
Rei started shaking. "What do you want from me?"
"We want some questions answered Rei." He growled. "We need you to tell us where Shinji is."
"Shinji? What are you talking about? He was with you!" She pointed into the shadows.
"Way wrong answer." Vicil grunted. Pen Pen stepped out of the darkness from where Rei was pointing, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at her. "You are the leader of an army trying sent to destroy the freedom of fanfiction. There are Shinji's missing from every Asuka/Shinji paired romance on the net. Where are they?"
"Fanfiction? Are you people insane?!" Rei screamed. Pen Pen replied by pulling back the hammer. "Oh, God."
"I'll ask again. Where are they?"
"I don't know what you people are talking about!!!" Rei screamed.
Pen Pen opened fire. Three shots exploded from the gun barrel and ricocheted off the stone wall around Rei's head. Rei shrieked as she saw her life flash before her eyes. She trembled in the corner. When she realized she wasn't dead, she opened her eyes to see the smoking gun.
"My little friend here has two more shots in that monster," Vicil growled again, "and at the count of three, both of them may be in your head. One..."
"I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" Rei screamed.
"Two..."
"MY NAME IS REI AYANAMI!!! I'M IN JUNIOR HIGH AND-!"
Pen Pen fired off another round above her head. A scream erupted from the shadows. However, Rei's scream of terror was quickly drowned out as Vicil's scream of pain took over his demeanor. He dropped his sword and started hopping up and down, holding his wounded leg. Pen Pen did a double take as Vicil collapsed beside him in agony. "Stupid, fucking bird!!! You shot me!!! YOU SHOT ME!!!" Vicil shriked. Kaworu turned on the lights, revealing everyone in the room. "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Asuka shouted. "It's only a ricochet!" Shinji turned toward Asuka. "Asuka, that's an awful thing to sayyyYYYYEEEUUUUUUGH!!!" Asuka's left eye was splattered all over her face and some of Shinji's clothes. "No it isn't! I got hit and you don't see me whining about it!" "Oh my god!!!" Shinji screamed. "We need to get you to a hospital or something!" "FREEZE, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Everyone spun their heads around. Rei was on her feet with Vicil's sword and Pen Pen hooked under her arm. Pen Pen was flapping his flippers wildly trying to escape, as birds normally do. "Nobody move, urgh, or the b-bird, ow, the bird, ptht, the bird gets it, pthtptht!" Of course, since Vicil was on the gound in front of Rei, this afforded him a nice view. "PANTIES!!!" he squealed. "Wait..."
======================================================================= Flashback...
"Back-street's-back! ALRIGHT!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, REI!!!"
"YOU SHUT UP!!!
"YOU!!!"
"YOU!!!"
"YOU!!!"
"YOOOOU!!!"
======================================================================= Present... well not the present, still in the flashback...
WHAM!!!
"You dirty old man!" Rei screamed as she nailed Vicil across the face.
======================================================================= Later... after later in the flashback...
"I am so sorry, Rei. I totally forgot you were in this story." Vicil squeaked as the doc penguin sewed up the bullet wound.
"You FORGOT about me?!"
======================================================================= Back in the semi-real world... in the present...
"Reconstructive surgery... surgery... surgery..." D continued to update himself on events. "... big speech... revolution... Rei thought it sucked. My god, he's massed an army powerful enough to... It matters not. As long as I'm out here and he's in there, I'm totally safe! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWA..."
======================================================================= The next day...
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWA..."
======================================================================= That evening...
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! MWA..."
======================================================================= Back in the computer...
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! THE LAUGHING!!! THE LAAAAAAAAAAUGHING!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHA!"
"Asuka! Shinji's losing it again!"
"Mr. Ikari! Shinji's losing it again!"
"LAAAAAAAAAAUGHING!!!"
"Honey! Shinji's losing it again!"
"IT DOESN'T EVER STOP!!!"
"Asuka! Shinji's losing it again! Would you be a dear and put him to bed!"
"What?!"
"I said, WOULD YOU BE A DEAR AND PUT HIM TO BED!"
"TAKE HIM OUT TO THE SHED?!"
"PUT HIM TO BED!"
"SIT ON HIS HEAD?!"
"YES!"
"OKAY!"
"BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDY-BIDDMMFF---!"
... mwahahahahahahahahh... mwahahahahahahahahh...
"Oh, God... it's still laughing." Vicil moaned as he rubbed his eyes. "I haven't slept in two days and this is going on the third night."
======================================================================= Outside... of the base, not the computer...
Vicil kicked open the door and dragged himself outside, wrapped in a blanket and bunny slippers, with a limp of course. He looked up into the night sky to see a giant translucent image of D listening to a tape recording he made of himself laughing in his sleep.
"That fiend... It's dumbfounding how evil I see myself... Maybe I shouldn't have picked on him."
ZOW!
======================================================================= Outside, in the semi-real world...
Vicil was sucked out of his computer, tipping over his chair and impacting on the floor, somersaulting, and landing upright on the couch in his living room. He did a double take of his surroundings, noticing he was even back in his original body. A gay smile spread across his unshaven face. D plopped down next to him on the couch and extended his hand. "Truce?" "Truce." Vicil grabbed the hand and shook it twice. With that, D disappeared, supposedly back where it came from.
God's in his heaven. All is right in the world.
======================================================================= In the real world...
"The end." Sighed the author. He took another sip of his Java and turned toward the reader. "I'd like to talk to you about Evangelion Fan Funny.
"EFF was indeed my first fanfic as D described, but around the time I released the seventh chapter, it was pointed out to me, by Rus, that I had strayed from the love theme I was going for when I first started EFF. You may admit that by the third chapter I had gold in the palm of my hand.
"However, when I made myself a character I had to make myself important as a character, causing a huge chain of random cameos just to keep the story funny, because I was no longer the comic relief, hence beginning my long sabbatical from the production of such quality material. I've been trying for a long time, but as things stand now there's no way I can finish this.
"Therefore I have an announcement. I hereby announce a new EFF project, Evangelion Fan Funny Version 2. The story is to pick up after chapter three of EFF and conclude with a much funnier, self-insert-free ending; but I am not the writer. The rights for EFFV2 will go to one writer whom has never before written a fan fiction about Evangelion and is looking for ideas. Contact me at vicil2000@sasktel.net and the story is yours.
"Also, I want you all to pay heed to the final phrase of the story: God's in his heaven, all is right in the world. Evangelion Fan Funny will stay posted in my account as a lesson to all first time writers of what not to do. Try to be creative with your work instead of introducing yourself to fellow readers as the writer, director and lead-role in the newest fanfic to line the superhighway, because, if you're in it, well, then it's not really about EVA anymore, is it.
"As for EFF as it stands now...
======================================================================= Epilogue...
Vicil sighed as he deleted the last four chapters of his adventures. He saved it to disk and put it away, ready for a good night and day's sleep, eager to dream about the new adventures Evangelion Fan Funny would have.
The morning after next...
"ARRRRGH! FUCKING WRITERS BLOCK!!!"
He decided he would need some help with this. Vicil grabbed his pants, tucked the disk in his shirt pocket, and headed over to his friend's house. The home of...
======================================================================= In the real world...
"I'd love to proof-read if you ever need one! Bye-bye everybody!"
Theme music: Weapon of Choice - Fatboy Slim
THE END!!!
