In Moria…
"These rocks are very uncomfortable" Sam said trying to lie on a boulder.
Aragorn pluck a tail feather from Booromir. "Here Sam."
Sam took the tail feather. "Thanks, sir. This feather is as big as I am!"
Booromir glared and rubbed his backend. "Be-gawk" he remarked. ((Translation: No respect for other folk's plumage.)) Two seconds later, he forgot about the incident. Booromir started his pecking again. He pecked a rock that fell over a cliff making a terribly loud echoing noise.
"Fool of a Boo!" Gandalf yelled. He was about to turn Booromir into something unnatural, but remembered he was already a chicken so just left him alone. "Everybody follow me though I do not know where we are going and I'm probably leading you into certain death, but follow because I am a wizard!" Everybody agreed and followed Gandalf.
They were almost to the Bridge of Kazard-dum when a giant fiery Balrog jumped out of the wall! "MmMmMmMm…Kentucky Fried Chicken" he said, drooling on Booromir. He blew some fire, scorching Booromir.
"Be-gawk!!!" Booromir cried, running round like…what else? Chicken with its head cut off. Hehe, couldn't resist. All his feathers were senged off.
Everyone got across the Bridge including Booromir who miraculously learned how to fly without feathers.
"I'll take care of this overgrown bonfire!" Gandalf shouted. "You shall not pass! Because I am a keeper of fire. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" The Balrog stepped onto the Bridge, not amused. Just then it cracks from his weight.
"D'OH!" the Balrog said, making his forehead.
"You fool of a balrog! Don't you know there's only a three hundred pound weight limit on this Bridge" Gandalf says before they fall into the shadows.
The Company just stands there watching while Booromir is trying to put out the fire on his tail feathers.
"That was amusing" Aragorn said. "We better get out of here!"
In Lothlorien…
The Company stands in front of Galadriel. "Just to warn all of you. I can read your minds. Cool gift, huh? HAHA!! So watch what you think about." Galadriel turned to Booromir, and talks to him through his mind. "I know you have a secret desire to be a Human Man, Booromir."
This revelation did not affect Booromir. "Bwak gwak?" he clucked in his pea-sized mind. ((Translation: She has a shiny thing on her head. I wonder if I can peck it?))
"Touch me and I'll cook you in my fryer."
On the Anduan River…
"We had these boats just lying around" Celeborn said to the Company. "Why don't you take them."
"Okay" the Company agreed.
"Come along, Booromir!" Pippin shouted. "Ride with me!" He tried to conceal Galadrial's fryer under his elven clock. He licked his lips. Oh yeah, chicken would be on the menu tonight!
They travel down the river for days, but Pippin was unsuccessful with making Booromir a meal. He forgot they needed someone to paddle the boat. They stopped right before going over a waterfall. The company camps out while Frodo goes off on his own. Booromir wanders off behind him pecking the ground occasionally.
"Bwak be-gwak" Booromir said to Frodo. ((Translation: Can I have that shiny thing you're wearing?))
"No. You're lucky I don't eat chicken."
"Be-gwak! Be-gwak!" ((Translation: Give it to me!)) Booromir lungs at Frodo, but he puts on the ring and trips Booromir. "Bwak bwak!" ((Translation: Oh look, a worm.)) Booromir proceeds to eat the worm.
Just then, this Uruk-hai farmer shows up. He yells in a hick accent, "Shhhh-doggie! Look at the size of that chicken!" Shoots Booromir in the backend with an arrow. Booromir jumps and runs around in a circle squawking.
"NooOoOo! He's my dinner!" Pippin attacks the Uruk-hai.
Meanwhile, Frodo is about to leave in a boat. Dramatic music swells around him as he holds up the ring where anyone can convientally take it. "I must go to Mordor alone!" Before he can climb in a boat, Booromir comes running up with an arrow sticking out his backend and his brown wig off. He knocks Frodo out of the way, and somehow swallows the ring while he jumps into a boat. A minute later the boat goes over the waterfall.
"BE-GWAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!"
Booromir never hits the bottom. Instead, the eagle Gwahir catches him! "Ignorant Boo. You know you can never be a human guy. I'll bring you to your rightful place."
Booromir aka Chicken Boo lived happily ever after at Radagast the Brown's Petting Zoo.
"Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man, you're a chicken Boo!"
THE END!!! What'dja think? This was a story about destroying the ring? The ring was never seen again after Boo swallowed it, and everybody else lived happily ever after too. Happy now? THE END!
"These rocks are very uncomfortable" Sam said trying to lie on a boulder.
Aragorn pluck a tail feather from Booromir. "Here Sam."
Sam took the tail feather. "Thanks, sir. This feather is as big as I am!"
Booromir glared and rubbed his backend. "Be-gawk" he remarked. ((Translation: No respect for other folk's plumage.)) Two seconds later, he forgot about the incident. Booromir started his pecking again. He pecked a rock that fell over a cliff making a terribly loud echoing noise.
"Fool of a Boo!" Gandalf yelled. He was about to turn Booromir into something unnatural, but remembered he was already a chicken so just left him alone. "Everybody follow me though I do not know where we are going and I'm probably leading you into certain death, but follow because I am a wizard!" Everybody agreed and followed Gandalf.
They were almost to the Bridge of Kazard-dum when a giant fiery Balrog jumped out of the wall! "MmMmMmMm…Kentucky Fried Chicken" he said, drooling on Booromir. He blew some fire, scorching Booromir.
"Be-gawk!!!" Booromir cried, running round like…what else? Chicken with its head cut off. Hehe, couldn't resist. All his feathers were senged off.
Everyone got across the Bridge including Booromir who miraculously learned how to fly without feathers.
"I'll take care of this overgrown bonfire!" Gandalf shouted. "You shall not pass! Because I am a keeper of fire. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" The Balrog stepped onto the Bridge, not amused. Just then it cracks from his weight.
"D'OH!" the Balrog said, making his forehead.
"You fool of a balrog! Don't you know there's only a three hundred pound weight limit on this Bridge" Gandalf says before they fall into the shadows.
The Company just stands there watching while Booromir is trying to put out the fire on his tail feathers.
"That was amusing" Aragorn said. "We better get out of here!"
In Lothlorien…
The Company stands in front of Galadriel. "Just to warn all of you. I can read your minds. Cool gift, huh? HAHA!! So watch what you think about." Galadriel turned to Booromir, and talks to him through his mind. "I know you have a secret desire to be a Human Man, Booromir."
This revelation did not affect Booromir. "Bwak gwak?" he clucked in his pea-sized mind. ((Translation: She has a shiny thing on her head. I wonder if I can peck it?))
"Touch me and I'll cook you in my fryer."
On the Anduan River…
"We had these boats just lying around" Celeborn said to the Company. "Why don't you take them."
"Okay" the Company agreed.
"Come along, Booromir!" Pippin shouted. "Ride with me!" He tried to conceal Galadrial's fryer under his elven clock. He licked his lips. Oh yeah, chicken would be on the menu tonight!
They travel down the river for days, but Pippin was unsuccessful with making Booromir a meal. He forgot they needed someone to paddle the boat. They stopped right before going over a waterfall. The company camps out while Frodo goes off on his own. Booromir wanders off behind him pecking the ground occasionally.
"Bwak be-gwak" Booromir said to Frodo. ((Translation: Can I have that shiny thing you're wearing?))
"No. You're lucky I don't eat chicken."
"Be-gwak! Be-gwak!" ((Translation: Give it to me!)) Booromir lungs at Frodo, but he puts on the ring and trips Booromir. "Bwak bwak!" ((Translation: Oh look, a worm.)) Booromir proceeds to eat the worm.
Just then, this Uruk-hai farmer shows up. He yells in a hick accent, "Shhhh-doggie! Look at the size of that chicken!" Shoots Booromir in the backend with an arrow. Booromir jumps and runs around in a circle squawking.
"NooOoOo! He's my dinner!" Pippin attacks the Uruk-hai.
Meanwhile, Frodo is about to leave in a boat. Dramatic music swells around him as he holds up the ring where anyone can convientally take it. "I must go to Mordor alone!" Before he can climb in a boat, Booromir comes running up with an arrow sticking out his backend and his brown wig off. He knocks Frodo out of the way, and somehow swallows the ring while he jumps into a boat. A minute later the boat goes over the waterfall.
"BE-GWAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!"
Booromir never hits the bottom. Instead, the eagle Gwahir catches him! "Ignorant Boo. You know you can never be a human guy. I'll bring you to your rightful place."
Booromir aka Chicken Boo lived happily ever after at Radagast the Brown's Petting Zoo.
"Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man, you're a chicken Boo!"
THE END!!! What'dja think? This was a story about destroying the ring? The ring was never seen again after Boo swallowed it, and everybody else lived happily ever after too. Happy now? THE END!
