Nearly a week had passed since the day Ann and Andy had met Miss Avery at the schoolhouse. With each passing day they grew more excited about going to school. And now, the night before they were to start, Rae didn't think she would ever get them to settle down.
"We're going to school tomorrow! We're going to school tomorrow!" Ann sang, bouncing around the room.
Andy simply chanted "School, school, school, school!" as he bounced.
"Ann, Andy, it's almost bedtime! You need to calm down!"
They didn't appear to hear her, because they kept bouncing around the room chanting. She whistled loudly. They both stopped and stared at her, wide-eyed.
"You two need to calm down. Bedtime is approaching, and if you want tomorrow to come any faster, you're going to need a good night's sleep."
"But I'm not tired," Ann said.
"I don't like sleep," Andy added.
"You won't be saying that tomorrow when you fall asleep in class and get in trouble for it," she warned.
Andy gulped. "Maybe we better go to bed Annie."
Ann sighed a little. "Okay..." She gave Rae a hug. "Night Momma."
"Goodnight, sweetheart," Rae said, kissing her forehead.
Andy hugged her as well, and they headed up to their respective rooms.
Rae walked into the living room and collapsed on the couch next to Spot.
He put his arm loosely around her. "Some day, huh?"
"You got that right," she muttered, resting her head on his shoulder.
"It's going to be strange not having them around the house all day," he commented.
"It will be too quiet around here."
"I keep thinking I'll enjoy it, but I'm not so sure."
"With all this talk of the twins going to school, we forgot about Julie. Do you think she wants to go back to school, Spot?" Rae asked.
He scratched his head. "You know.... I didn't even think about it... We could ask her."
"I worry about that though, she's been sick again lately."
"We should have Doc come back and examine her again..."
She nodded. "Maybe I'll take her into town with me in the morning when I walk the twins to school."
"Good idea."
Chris stuck his head in the door. "Can I talk to you for a minute Spot?"
Spot looked up and sighed a little. "You mean I have to get up?" But he smiled a little and stood up anyway.
Rae stood as well, "I'm going to bed."
Spot nodded and kissed her gently. "Goodnight Rae. I'll be up soon."
Once she left he turned to Chris, "Let's go into the study."
Spot looked at him oddly, but followed him anyway. "What's this all about?"
Chris sighed. "Molly."
He smiled a little, leaning against the desk. "All right... what is it? Mind you, I don't claim to be a prodigy on women, despite my reputation."
"I can't get her off my mind."
"That's because you like her... or she did something horrible to you and you want to get back at her..." He shrugged. "Those are my theories, anyway."
"I think I like her, but I'm not really sure."
"What aren't you sure about?"
"Everything."
"Well, that's a bit... of a task to take one... mind giving me some examples?" Spot inquired.
"The other day...when I said something about Kendra...and she started crying...I held her...it felt so right...like she fit perfectly in my arms..."
Spot smiled. "And what's the problem with that?"
"I don't think her feelings are the same," he said.
"What makes you say that?" he asked.
"She's been avoiding me."
"Are you sure?"
He nodded.
"Well then.... make it impossible to avoid you!"
"How?"
"I.. don't know, that's up to you to figure out."
"Was it like this with you and Rae?"
"Not ... not particularly." He laughed a little. "We fought all the time."
"You never had trouble talking to her?"
"Talking, yes... yelling, no. It was easier to get mad then to just talk to her.... so we'd fight all the time. But when I got hurt... I had to get used to being nice because she was the only one who knew... and still wanted to help."
"Why are girls so confusing?"
"Because if they weren't, there'd be a problem," he said with a laugh.
"I guess I'll try to talk to Molly tomorrow."
"Atta boy."
"I don't know what I'm going to say, though."
"Confess your undying love?" Spot laughed at Chris' look of horror. "I'm only teasing. Just talk to her." Chris nodded and took a deep breath. Spot smiled. "Why don't you get a good night's rest on it?"
"I could try, but I don't think it will work."
"Well, try hard... Trying to approach a girl on a good night's sleep is hard enough," he teased.
"You aren't making this any easier."
"I never said I would," he pointed out.
Chris stood, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Spot echoed and he went up to bed, chuckling as he climbed next to Rae.
"What's so funny?" she asked, sleepily.
"I think we've started something with Molly and Chris," he said, kissing her gently.
"Molly said she'd been feeling this way for a while."
"Yes, but would they have acted on it if we hadn't given them a nudge?"
"You just want to think you were right."
"Of course."
She laughed and then yawned.
He kissed her gently. "Goodnight, sweetheart."
"Night," she murmured sleepily.
And with that, he fell asleep.
~*~
Spot woke the next morning to someone bouncing on the bed. He opened his eyes drowsily. "What? Andy? Is that you? What times is it?"
"I don't know, but the sun is up," Andy said, still bouncing,
Rae, having woken up as well, glanced at the clock standing in the corner of the room. "Andy, it's 6:00 in the morning.... school won't start for another couple of hours."
"School starts at 8, Momma. Miss Avery said so."
Rae moaned and rolled over. "Spot, be a dear and get them ready."
"Ohh no you don't... You're awake too. You're helping!"
"But Spot..." she whined.
"Hup hup. Up you get!"
She pelted him with a pillow and got up. He laughed quietly.
"Is Annie up?" Rae asked, splashing some water on her face.
"Yep, yep, yep, yup, yes, yes," Andy said energetically.
"Go tell her to bring me her hairbrush, so that I can try to get all the tangles out of her hair."
He nodded and dashed out of the room yelling "Aaaaaaannnnnn!"
"He's going to wake the whole house," Rae complained.
He laughed. "It will do them good.... I think."
She groaned as she walked across the room to get dressed. Spot dressed as well and went down to start breakfast, since he knew Rae would fight tooth and nail to get out of doing it. Rae walked across the hall, asking Annie where her hairbrush was. The girl had been known to hide it in order to get out of getting the tangles brushed out of it. But surprisingly, she popped up with the brush a moment later. "Here it is!"
Rae took the brush with a yawn. "Sit down, Annie." She plopped down obediently and Rae set to work on the grueling task of brushing out Annie's long hair. The little girl whimpered and yelped a few times, but nothing seemed too harsh to dim her happy outlook of the morning and her eagerness to go to school. At last Rae finished and quickly braided Ann's hair into two braids. Almost immediately after, Ann sprang to her feet and raced downstairs for breakfast.
"Those two are way too excited," Rae mumbled, as she walked through the hallway, knocking on doors to wake up Julie, Molly and Chris.
One by one, they trudged sleepily out of their rooms and down the stairs, following the scent of fried ham and biscuits.
Yawning, Rae sat down at the table and mumbled her thanks when Spot handed her a cup of coffee. He set breakfast on the table shortly afterwards and the eclectic family quickly served themselves and commenced to eating.
"When do we get to leave for school?" Andy asked.
"In due time," Rae said, finally waking up fully. "In about fifteen minutes."
Andy squeaked and began eating faster.
Spot laughed, putting a hand on his. "Slow down, kiddo. You're going to choke."
"But we'll be late."
"No you won't," she assured him. "You'll be fine."
Spot looked across the table to where Julie was pushing her eggs around on her plate, "Julie? he asked, concern in his voice.
She looked up at him. "Hmm?"
"Are you feeling alright?"
"I.... I don't know.... My chest kind of hurts.... I'm kind of tired."
"I want you to go into town with Rae and see Doc."
She frowned a little. "Do you really think it's that bad?"
"Yes," Rae and Spot said simultaneously. She sighed and looked down at her eggs.
Ann and Andy finished their breakfasts first. "Come on!" Ann said, bouncing excitedly. "Let's go!"
"In just a minute," Rae said. She whined impatiently, but waited. Rae looked at Julie. "Can you be ready to go in five minutes?"
She nodded, pushing her plate back.
"Want me to go into town with you too?" Chris asked.
She smiled. "If you'd like to, that'd be nice."
"Sure thing," he said, pushing his chair back.
With a nod, she headed up stairs, got ready and returned just as the twins were reaching their peak of anxiety to get to school. As they neared the school, the twins' steps slowed.
"What's the matter?" Rae asked, looking back at them.
"I don't want to go to school," Ann said.
"Oh no you don't Miss Annie. You are going to school," Rae said.
"But... noooo.... I don't wanna go...."
Rae shook her head. "It's too late to change my mind now."
Her lip quivered. Andy took her hand. "C'mon Annie..." She took a deep breath and followed him across the clearing toward the schoolhouse as Rae, Chris and Julie stood back.
Rae smiled. "I'm so proud of them..."
Ann ran back and gave Rae a hug, "I love you Momma."
"I love you too, Ann.... Now hurry up so you aren't late."
Ann smiled at her and ran after Andy.
Chris smiled, pulling her away. "Come on, before you get weepy."
"Who said I was going to get weepy?"
"Well, I've seen that mothers usually do."
She smiled and playfully shoved him. "Let's get Julie to Doc." With a nod, they both took Julie's arms and led her down the road.
"I don't feel that bad," she argued, with a slight cough
"Well, it will make us feel better if Doc could take a look at you," Rae said.
"You worry to much," Julie said weakly.
"It's my job to," she told her.
Julie stopped and put her hand on her head. She gave a slight groan of pain and fell to the ground.
"Julie?!" Chris yelped worriedly, sinking next to her. "Julie!"
Rae lifted Julie's frail body into her arms and hurried towards Doc's office.
"Doc!" she exclaimed, bursting into the small office.
"Yes?" a voice called from a room in the back. A moment later, he appeared. "Oh dear... what do we have here?" he asked, motioning for them to follow him."
"She passed out on the way here," Chris said.
He motioned for Rae to lay her out on the table.
She did as directed. "Can I do anything to help? I've had some medical training."
He gave her a critical look before nodding. "All right. It's always nice to have a helping hand."
Using smelling salts Doc roused Julie and examined her.
Conducting everything from asking questions to drawing blood, he stepped back and frowned a little. "It will take some time before I can tell you exactly what my diagnosis is... Do you want to wait here, or would you like to have a carriage take you back home?"
Rae sighed. "Let's get Julie back home and into bed."
"All right. I will be in touch later on this afternoon," Doc assured her as he went up to call a carriage.
Chris sat on the table next to Julie and held her while they waited on Doc.
"What do you think is wrong?" he asked worriedly.
"He would have told us if he knew," Julie said rather coarsely, a clear sign she was nervous.
"Everything will be fine," Rae said as she paced the room. "It has to be."
Doc returned moments later. "The carriage has arrived."
"Thank you, Doc," Chris said, lifting Julie into his arms.
He nodded. "Don't thank me yet," he murmured quietly to himself as they left the room.
Spot and Molly came running out onto the porch when they heard the sound of carriage wheels. "How did it go?" Molly asked, as Spot helped Rae and Julie from the carriage.
"She passed out on the way there. And Doc wouldn't tell us anything."
"He said he'd stop by later this afternoon though," Chris said with a deeply worried frown.
Rae put her arm around Julie, "Upstairs to bed with you missy."
She nodded, coughing. Rae exchanged a worried glance with Spot over Julie's head.
Spot scooped her up. "Come on. Spot Express is leaving the station." Julie gave a slight giggle, but ended up coughing again. Spot didn't comment, though he was terribly concerned, and he carried her upstairs to her room. "Sleep well," he told her.
Rae helped Julie change into a nightgown and followed Spot into the hall. He hugged her when she sank into his arms. "I'm so worried," she murmured.
"Did Doc say anything?" he asked.
"No... He just said he'd stop buy when he had diagnosed her."
"It must be something really bad then."
She frowned. "Spot... what if it's..."
"Shhh..." he whispered holding her close.
She sniffled. "Why can't everything just be perfect?" she asked.
"Nothing can be perfect, sweetheart."
"I know... but ... why can't it be?" she asked. "We've been through so much already!"
"I know, sweetheart. I know," he whispered, stroking her hair.
She hugged him tightly.
* * *
Molly watched as Chris sank onto the couch and buried his head in his hands. After a moment she knelt on the floor in front of him. "Are you alright?" she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder.
"I'm just so worried about my sister..." he said quietly.
"Doc will take good care or her."
"I hope so..."
She gave him a quick hug and hurried from the room.
Chris sat there for a moment, dwelling in silence. After a moment he stood and went looking for her.
Molly had occupied herself at Rae's scrap basket, absently picking through the different fabrics left over from the dressmaking spree for Ann.
"Care to go for a walk, Molly?" he asked.
She looked up, startled. "Um... okay..."
Chris waited until they were outside to speak. "Molly...I...umm...I don't know how to say this..."
She looked at him shyly. "Yes?"
"I...I care for you...a lot..."
"Well... I care about you too," she said... But it seemed he might have meant only in the family sort of way. She sighed a little.
He stood in front of her and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Blushing, she looked down. "My feelings for you are more than the feelings a brother has towards his sister, Molly..."
She looked at him a bit quizzically. "... What do you mean?" Though she thought she probably knew.
He leaned forward and placed gentle kiss on her lips.
She gave him a startled look before, blushing pink. A small, shy smile managed to grace her lips though. "Well... we... probably ought to get back?"
"Uh huh," he nodded, shocked at his own actions.
They turned and headed back towards the house, but on the way, Molly shyly slipped her hand into Chris'.
He smiled at her. "Their going to know something's up."
"I think they already do," she said.
"Has Spot been asking you questions too?"
"No... But Rae has."
Chris shook his head as they neared the house. "Is that Doc's carriage?"
She frowned, studying it for a moment. "Yes... yes it is."
"I just know it's bad news."
"You don't ... KNOW it is..." But she had to agree that it was probably pretty bad. He let go of her hand and ran for the house. "Wait for me!" she called, racing after him.
They ran into the living room to see Doc seated in a chair across the room from Rae and Spot.
Tears were streaming down Rae's face and Spot just looked stunned. Chris felt his stomach drop. "What? What is it? What's wrong with Julie?"
"Her last illness weakened her heart," Doc said. "It's only gotten weaker since then."
He frowned. "What does that mean?"
Doc shook his head. "There's nothing I can do, except give her something to ease the pain, but it's only a matter of time."
"Until...?" But he already knew the answer to the question. Limply, he sank into a chair. His little sister... his only remaining family that he could think of.... Molly knelt beside him and took his hand in hers. She didn't know what to say to comfort him, but knew that she could let him know that she was there. He gripped her hand tightly. "Can't you do anything about it, Doc?"
Doc shook his head again. "I'm afraid not."
"But you're a doctor! You're supposed to fix these things!"
There are some things doctors can't fix, son."
"But.... but...!""I'm sorry."
Tears were in his eyes and he looked away angrily.
"I need to talk to Julie and I'd like you to go with me, Chris," Doc said. "There are some things the two of you need to know about and make some decisions about."
"Decisions?"
"There is some medicine that I can give her to help ease the pain some, or she can decide to go without it."
He didn't like this at all, but he stood and followed Doc upstairs. Molly looked a little lost as they left. Part of her wanted to stay with him, but part of her thought that he might want her to stay away. In the end, she resolved to stay put. She knew she'd want to be alone with her brother or sister if this was happening to them... or her, even.
Chris silently followed Doc upstairs. This couldn't be happening. This was Julie. They had run away from home and stowed away on a ship together. They'd been through so much already, the last thing either of them needed was this.
Politely, Doc knocked on Julie's door.
"Come in," she said weakly.
Doc allowed Chris to walk in first and he walked over to the bed and sat next to his sister.
She tried not to show her worry as the doctor came over and she saw the upset expression on her brother's face. "Hello Doc," she said.
"Hello Miss Julie. I need to talk to you and your brother."
Slowly, she nodded. "Um... okay."
"Julie...your heart is not working properly...and that's why your chest has been hurting..."
Carefully, she placed a hand over her heart. "What ... does that mean?"
"Your heart is slowly getting weaker. I'm afraid there is nothing I can do."
"So... I... I'm going to die?" she whispered. Doc nodded slowly. Her lip quivered and she closed her eyes as a tear leaked out. Chris slipped his arms around her as she began sobbing. "I don't wa-wanna die, Chris!"
"I know, Sis," he said as tears began to fill his own eyes.
Doc stood by silently, allowing them to deal with their grief before continuing.
"Julie," Chris said, stroking her hair. "Doc says there is some medicine that you can take to help with the pain."
She just clung to her brother, crying.
Chris looked up at Doc. "How long?"
"A few months at least... at most, a year, if she takes it easy, doesn't exert herself," he replied.
"Will this medicine help at all?" she asked with a sniffle.
"To ease the pain, yes." Doc nodded.
"Do Spot and Rae know?"
He nodded solemnly.
"What about the twins?"
"Not yet. So far, only Spot and Rae, your brother, and the other young lady of the house knows," he replied.
"I don't want them to know," she said, "at least not right away."
"Are you sure?" Chris asked.
She nodded. "They are so excited about school...I don't want to ruin it for them."
"All right."
"Then I'm assuming you want to take the medicine?" Doc asked.
After a moment, she nodded.
"I left my bag downstairs, but I'll go get the medicine for you."
She nodded and watched him leave. Then she looked at her brother. "Chris... I'm scared..."
"Me too, Julie."
She started to cry a little again. "I always thought... I'd get married and have a big family, you know?"
Unsure what to say, Chris simply held her. She managed to dry her tears as the doctor returned with a spoon and a bottle. Uncapping it, he allowed some of the thick liquid to pool into the spoon and carefully, he held it out to Julie.
"You'll have to take this three times a day," he told her as she took the medicine, blanching terribly at the taste.
"Will it really help?" she asked, making a face.
"Well, I haven't heard a peep that it hasn't helped, if that assures you of anything," he told her.
"I guess so."
He gave her a small smile. "Well, my motto is, the fouler the flavor, the better it works... And I've had the most complaints about this than anything else."
She giggled slightly.
He rested a hand on her shoulder. "Now that's what I want to see." Then he straightened. "Well, my work here is done... if there is any change in how you feel, send for me at once, all right?"
She nodded.
"Until next time." Doc nodded and excused himself from the room.
Julie sighed after he left the room. "Why me, Chris?"
"I don't know," he replied quietly.
She leaned her head on his shoulder, "Do you think we can try again to find Daddy?"
Chris nodded. "We could try..."
"I want to try."
"All right, we will."
Her head slowly dipped and then she jerked it back up. "I think Doc's medicine is going to have me sleeping a lot," she mumbled.
Chris smiled a little bit. "Well.... It's better than having you chase after Ann and Andy a lot."
"I haven't had the energy to do that in a long time."
He frowned and gave his sister one final hug. "Well... you just get some rest."
"Won't hear any complaints from me," she said, snuggling up under her quilt.
Quietly, he left her room and headed back downstairs, feeling the weight of her looming death come crashing onto him. Molly was the only one in the room when he got back downstairs. He sat on the couch and buried his head in his hands again. After hesitating a moment, she quietly crept up next to him and placed a hand on his back. "Are... are you going to be okay?"
He was silent for a moment as his shoulder began to shake. "No."
Sitting next to him, she carefully slipped his arm around his waist comfortingly. "You can... cry on my shoulder, if you want."
He hesitated a moment before turning and doing exactly that. Uncertainly, she patted his back. She hadn't expected him to take her up on the offer, though she wouldn't say she was sad he did. "It's not fair, Molly, she's the only family I have left."
She nodded. "I know..."
"I don't think I can sit here and watch her die."
She frowned. What COULD he do then? She pushed him back so that he was looking at her. "She needs you now, Chris. Be strong for her."
"I don't know if I can..."
"Then you're not the boy I thought you were," she said, jumping to her feet and running from the room.
Chris choked back a croak of surprise. What in the world...? He got up and followed her. "What does that mean?" he demanded.
"One of the things I like about you is your strength. You were strong for Julie through your mother's death, being shipwrecked, not being able to find your father...you were strong for me when we were kidnapped by that lunatic...but now...when Julie needs you most..." she shook her head and walked away.
He sighed and leaned against the wall. "Why do I always have to be the strong one?" he murmured to himself, sinking to a squat. Every once in a while, people were allowed to crack under the pressure, weren't they?
A few minutes later Rae walked in and sat next to him. "I just talked to Molly," she said.
"And she told you what a muttonhead I was, huh?"
"That wasn't exactly the word she used."
"Was it chicken? Yellow bellied sow?"
"More like stupid jerk."
"I was getting to that one," he muttered.
"Can I take a stab at how you're feeling?" she asked.
"Sure."
"You're confused and tired of having to always be strong?"
"Somewhat..." he admitted.
"I know how you're feeling. It's not easy."
"No... it's not," he grumbled
"If you were the one who was...dying...and Julie was in your shoes...what would make you feel better? Having her sad and weepy all the time? Or seeing her try to make the most of it?"
"I don't want to be sad and weepy... I want to be strong for her... but I feel so powerless!"
"After Spot's accident he needed someone to be strong for him. There were nights when I would bury my head in my pillow and cry myself to sleep. You may not be able to heal Julie's body, but you can let her see you being strong, even if you don't feel that way."
He frowned. "Well... that doesn't explain why Molly acted how she did."
"She's hurting too, Chris, but in a different way."
"I ... don't understand."
"She gave her daughter to some people who she felt could raise her better...but now she's living with those same people...listening to her daughter calling them Momma and Daddy...she knows she made the right decision, but sometimes while our heart tells us a decision is right, ours minds will have doubts."
"... I still don't understand. What does it have to do with her getting mad at me?"
"I don't know this for certain, but this is what I've seen over the last two years...I think she sees your strength and that has helped her stay strong through everything with Kendra."
"So now I'm just... a big disappointment for everyone?" he asked, exasperated.
"Not to everyone. Spot and I are grateful for all the help you've given us since you've gotten back from Brooklyn."
He sighed and folded his hands over his knees.
"Why don't you go take a walk down to the lake. The fresh air will help clear your head."
"All right," he said with a nod, climbing to his feet.
Rae stayed on the floor. She knew she should get up, because Sam and Kendra would be up from their naps soon and she had work to be done before that, but she couldn't summon the energy to move.
Spot came through a moment later and saw her. "Hello there," he said, sitting next to her.
"Hey," she mumbled.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Just a little tired. First all the excitement of getting Ann and Andy ready for school...and now this with Julie..."
"We've had a tough day," Spot agreed, putting his arm around her.
She sighed. "I'm not ready for this Spot."
He kissed the side of her head. "Well, it looks like we just have to MAKE ourselves ready."
She rested her head on his shoulder. "I just got through telling Chris that he needs to at least appear to be strong for Julie...but I'm not sure that I can do the same thing..."
"Well, all we can do is try. We've done it before... I'm sure we can do it again."
"What are we going to tell the twins?" she asked.
"She doesn't want them to know," Molly said from the doorway.
"Well, they're going to know something is up when she doesn't wake up one morning," Spot said, wincing almost immediately afterwards. "That didn't sound as bad in my head as it did coming out..."
"I think she'll end up telling them eventually....but she doesn't want to spoil their excitement right now."
"They're not going to take this so well," Rae sighed.
"I know," Spot said, stroking her hair.
With a sigh she closed her eyes. "With all that's going on... you'd think we'd get some good news really soon..."
"I'm sure we will sweetheart."
"Do you really think so?" she asked quietly.
"I know so," he responded, kissing her forehead.
Rae frowned deeply before pausing to glance around. "What time is it? We probably need to head out to get Ann and Andy soon."
"Do you want me to go get them?" Molly asked.
After a moment, she nodded. "If you wouldn't mind... I think I need some time to collect myself..."
Molly nodded and left the house.
