Disclaimer: Not mine. 

A/N  I had about 5 different drafts of this chapter.  All of them different.  This story was trying to go in so many different directions it wasn't even funny.  While this one doesn't satisfy me, I hope you enjoy it. 

CHAPTER 4

The Order Meeting

            The Order meeting started as soon as dinner ended.  Mrs. Weasley hustled Ron, Hermione, Ginny and the twins out of the kitchen and sealed the door.  The only Order member not there who was in the house was Remus.

            Everyone gave their reports on their assigned sphere of activity.  Most had little to report.  Professor Snape had the most to report, as he was the resident spymaster into Voldemort's circle.   The most disturbing piece of information was the Marking of a group of 16 year olds.  Snape only had the name of one of those Marked.  It was suggested that the 6th and 7th year students be checked for the Dark Mark at the beginning of the year.  This started a ferocious argument.  Many of the group felt that all of the Marked students would come from Slytherin House and wanted to expel all of the 6th and 7th year Slytherins without even checking for the Mark. 

            "Wait!" Said Harry, "are we going to punish them because of their parent's choices? Or for the House the hat put them in? Why does everyone here think they will all be slytherins?"

            "They usually are," answered another Order member. "Most of his followers came from Slytherin the last time."

            "Most of them?" asked Snape with a dangerously silky undertone to his voice.  Harry heard that and waited for the explosion. "I can name people with other House affiliations who were on his side."

            "Then name them!" exclaimed Molly Weasley.  "I don't think you can put Gryffindor among them.

            "Actually," answered Harry, "he can.  Peter Pettigrew was in Gryffindor, and still works for Voldemort."

            "This isn't about those Death Eaters," said Bill Weasley touchy that Harry had named a Gryffindor. "It's about the new group.  What monster would use 16 year old children?" he asked wondering.

            "The time the ministry denied his existence has helped him.  Not as much as he would've preferred," answered Snape.  "But it did help him. Getting control of the dementors and his followers in Azkaban has made him stronger. As for using children? He did the same thing in the last war. He wants spies at Hogwarts."

            The discussion of the Death Eater children wound down with no real resolution.  Harry was wondering why no one could seem to decide anything.  But even he realized this was a thorny problem and no decision would be a very good one for the kids or the school.  He wondered if Malfoy or any of his crowd were Marked but didn't dare ask.

            Another thing Snape had reported was that Voldemort's fury that he hadn't gotten the prophecy and that there was no other copy of it to be found. His spies reported that Voldemort seemed obsessed with Harry.  Breaking it had actually been a good thing. 

            The Order meeting kept droning on and on.  Harry was getting very bored at some of the topics discussed.  Looking around at everyone there he could see how the war was wearing them all down. No one seemed to have any definitive ideas on how to proceed.  Bill Weasley looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days.  Arthur looked worried about everything.  Molly looked stressed out.  Dumbledore looked his age and weary with the burden.  Mcgonagall looked old and sour.  Snape looked like he'd not slept in weeks, his clothes rumpled and stained with potions ingredients.  He looked even greasier than usual.  Hagrid seemed to have lost his spirit.  No one seemed very happy at all.  Just worried and showing it.  Harry usually stayed quiet at these meetings, he was very aware the only reason he was allowed to attend was Dumbledore, but he was getting worried at the adults attitude here. He was also getting annoyed that no one seemed to have any idea how to stop Voldemort.  It was like they were waiting for something to happen.  No one seemed to want to take any offensive action at all. 

            "Does no one have any ideas how to defeat him?" he asked from his corner of the room.

            "What do you mean Harry?" asked Tonks.

            "Well so far all I hear are ideas of how to keep watch on him and how to clean up after him. No one seems to know how to get rid of him," he answered getting angry.  "Oh.  Right.  Sorry that's my job.  But I'm only sixteen, so we have to wait don't we? How long do we wait? And when am I supposed to be ready? I wasn't ready when I was 11, wasn't ready when I was 12, wasn't ready last year and the year before.  But I faced him each time and came back.  Why aren't we attacking?  He's had a year to get stronger.  All we did was stop him from getting his hands on a prophecy.  And why am I the only one you all think can kill him?" he was very angry now. "I'm not even fully trained!  And that won't be enough!  We don't even know if the killing curse will kill him now.  I don't want to watch him kill any more of my friends.  I don't want to have to keep looking over my shoulder wondering what's next.  I want him gone so we can all live again.  Because we aren't living now.  All we are doing is waiting.  I'm tired of it."

            "That's enough Harry," snapped Mrs. Weasley, getting angry herself. "You know what the prophecy says.  We can't let you fight him now.  He would win."

            "He's right though," said Snape, agreeing with Harry.  "He isn't trained yet.  He has defeated him when he wasn't ready.  And we don't know if avada kedavra would kill him now.  We know what the prophecy says but what if it is wrong?  Potter, you do need training and you need to work on it harder than you did the Occlumency last year.  If it were offered would you do it?" he asked looking at Harry.  "Would you make the commitment such training requires? Would you give up quidditch and free time for it?   Because if you want that training you won't have time for much else.  What it would mean would be giving up the rest of your childhood for a battle you could lose."

            "Do I really have a choice?" Harry asked quietly. "If I don't do this …" he trailed off. 

            "He shouldn't have to give up his childhood!" exclaimed Molly looking between the two of them angrily.

            Harry looked over at Mrs. Weasley.  He'd been listening to what the man was saying and forgotten there were other people in the room.  As he looked around he could see some of them agreed with Snape.  Some did not.  He looked at Dumbledore who had a neutral look on his face.  All of them were waiting for his decision.  He didn't know what to do here.  "What childhood?" he asked.  "I don't think I had one of those. Not with my family."

            "You have," answered Snape remembering what the legilemens had allowed him to see. "Not a good childhood.  But there are worse."

            Molly looked horrified at them.  "What do you mean Harry?"

            "I mean my family hates me.  They don't try to hide it either," he answered her angrily.  "I don't have a family like yours.  You know Ron is jealous of me?  I don't know why, I would kill to have a family where I was loved.  He doesn't have a clue how lucky he really is!" Harry said bitterly.  "The only reason they left me alone this summer was because Mr. Moody, your husband, Remus, and Tonks threatened them.  Every year you send me to them.  I know why now, the blood protection.  But they hate me they always have."

            "Oh please," said Snape exasperated at the turn this was taking. "Like I said, it wasn't great.  But there are worse, Potter."

            "How can you say that?" asked Mrs. Weasley shocked at what she was hearing.

            "Easily," snapped Snape thinking of some of his slytherins. "You have no idea how many children who attend Hogwarts have lousy childhoods.  Some of them are even Gryffindors.  This isn't what we need to discuss here! Potter is right.  We need to plan something more than just holding the Dark Lord off.  His childhood or lack of one is not the issue here."

            "All right everyone," said Dumbledore.  "Next meeting everyone should come up with one idea of what we should do offensively.  We can discuss them then."  With that he ended the meeting.  As everyone left, with more to think of he gave the assignments for the next meeting.  Snape rose quietly, and went over to Harry. 

            "Potter," he said, "you do need extra training.  Think about what you do need and if you are willing to give up your free time, let the Headmaster know." 

            "All right Professor," he answered.  "Are you all right sir?  You look tired."

            "Long summer Potter," he answered, looking at the teen who looked tired himself.  "Are the potions helping with the dreams?" he asked looking at the dark circles under Harry's eyes and the drawn face.

            "Yeah they've helped, thanks sir for giving them to me," he answered quietly.

            "Good then, if you need more let one of us know," he said as he rose to leave. "Good night Potter."

            G'night sir," answered Harry as Snape left.  Everyone else was leaving as Harry left the room saying good night to everyone.  He had a task to do.  Try and come up with an idea for the next meeting.  He wondered if he should talk to Ron and Hermione about ideas.  He decided he didn't want to tell them about it though.  He was at these meetings on sufferance he knew they wouldn't be allowed at all.