Title: Someday (1/1)
Author: WolfPilot06
Genre: Yami no Matsuei
Warnings: Semi-POV, minor angst, shonen ai, hints at Dark!Tsuzuki
Pairing: Tsuzuki/Hisoka
Note: On the spot, and completely unanticipated. Yes, I am working on the next chapter of Abandoned already. ^_^ I'm in an uber-good mood. Yayness!
I got the idea for this story after reading Whitney's YnM fics. That one- I can't remember the title of it - where it's Tsuzuki and Hisoka's first timeā¦there're all these parenthetical phrases and words that just add this other element and make the story all the more amazing.
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Sometimes, what he wanted was right in front of him. He knew it would be so simple to just reach out and touch the object of his desire, to smooth blonde strands away from his (so young) face. Yet, something always got in his way, be it a glare from green eyes or a lingering fear, a bit of (unnecessary) anxiety.
Something was always there.
He knew he had (strong) walls. He knew that he was not the most open (or honest) of people, but he tried. He didn't need to let other people know (burden them) with his troubles, and though he tried to help them with theirs, inevitably he was gently (pushed away) refused. His walls, however, were nothing compared to Hisoka's.
Part of it was conscious, he knew. Part of it Hisoka did unconsciously. It was never so much as a spoken warning to (get away from him) stop; it was more the (subtle tensing of his body, the light sheen of sweat on his forehead as he unconsciously backed away) involuntary mannerisms, like his automatic refusal to join in any socializing that might (expose him) bring him out from his (safe little corner of) privacy.
And as much as he wanted to help bring down those walls, he also feared hurting Hisoka with his (desire) actions. He knew the walls were there to not only keep others from Hisoka, but also to keep others (like himself) from hurting him. If he took down those walls, would Hisoka be left (helplessly) vulnerable? Would he be left as easy prey for predators (him) to take advantage of? He wanted to help (have) Hisoka, not to hurt him.
Sometimes, though, he couldn't worry. Sometimes, he could see flashes of true strength from his young partner, not the facade of invulnerability that (he wanted to tear down) Hisoka tried to keep up. It was then that he knew that, with time, Hisoka would be able to stand strong without any support from him. It was a thought that relieved (frightened) him, as it meant that one day Hisoka would no longer (need him) be afraid of others. It was a thought he cherished (despised) and believed in (wanted to be false).
Those were the times when he so desperately wanted to hold (own) the young man, when he himself wanted to believe in the strength the youth possessed and wanted to be part of it. He wanted to thread his fingers in those fine strands of hair (around his neck, so tight so tight and never let go) and to kiss those pale, chapped lips (listen to the cries of pain that came from them as he hurt him). He wanted to hold his slender form in the warmth of the sun (limp and unresponsive, lifeless and cold) and simply enjoy what life their immortality granted them (took from them).
And, despite the harsh words and looks sent his way, he was never disillusioned (never gave up on the hunt).
The few soft words (I need you) that he gave him, though, (the only place I belong is at your side) gave him hope for the future (he will be mine).
Someday, he knew, he would be able to reach out and touch him (have him) and no longer be hesitant or afraid.
Someday, Hisoka would love him (be his).
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End random ficlet. ^^ C&C?
**Wolf**
