Hi, harvyn nation!! I wrote this fic because we don't have enough background on Holly. So here is one of the ways she could have become the strong and protective badass she is. ps sorry the formatting is probably trash :(
Marvyn and Emma have been living with Holly for a little while now. They have settled in and it's starting to almost feel like their own home in a sense. Marvyn would never say this out loud to Holly because he doesn't want to scare her, but he imagines a future where this isn't just a temporary living arrangement between them. Honestly, he tries to tell himself his crazy and that it doesn't mean anything. He just doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life.
Yes, that's it. It has nothing to do with Holly and how smart, intelligent, and attractive she is. Nope. Marvyn Korn is not interested in Holly Barrett. That's his story and he's sticking to it. What he doesn't know yet is that this is going to change in the next few hours, forever altering his relationship with his ex-assistant coach.
Marvyn is just getting home from a game that the girls had that night.
Of course, they won, killing it. So much so that the team went out to celebrate their win along with their unofficial teammate. Emma is going to a sleepover at Louise's tonight, so Marvyn decided to come home directly instead of going out with the team. He couldn't tell you why but he just had this feeling that was pulling him back to the house tonight.
As he opened the front door, he could hear movement around the kitchen.
He figured Holly would be home tonight, but this confirms it for him. Don't ask him why he has a small smile upon his lips at this. It's definitely not because he'll be alone with Holly in the house, which rarely happens with them both always at games or having Emma around.
What he wasn't expecting was to see a distraught Holly, struggling to breathe. He rushed in, dropping all of his things before reaching her.
"Holly! Oh my god!"
She was currently crouched down on the floor near the cabinets and refrigerator, breathing rapidly and out of sync. She couldn't focus, her eyes went wide with a sense of fear that Marvyn had never seen within her.
"What can I do? Oh god, is there something I can do?"
"I- wa-ter."
Marvyn quickly grabbed a glass and turned on the faucet to fill it. He bent down to her level, not wanting to get too close, not knowing how it would affect her. He carefully put the glass in her hands, water pouring over the edges once she had it.
"Is there anything else I can do?" Holly just looked at him over the rim of the glass, struggling to hold it.
Marvyn reached back out to help hold the glass up for her so she could get some water even as she was still struggling. He took another chance by reaching out for her arm with his other hand, lightly placing his hand there trying to show her that he is here, whatever she needs.
Holly panics a little at first to Marvyn's touch, her eyes widening before her brain told her it was him, that she was safe. They held eye contact as her breathing started to even out and return to normal. After a couple of minutes, she was able to speak, her voice soft, still trying to recover from the weight on her chest.
"Thank you" She smiled softly. Marvyn moved his hand down her arm and took her hand in his, cradling it to his chest.
He was so relieved that Holly was okay now. Well physically. He had never been in this situation before where another person was struggling in front of him. He has had a few panic attacks over the course of his career and life, but he's never been the one to be offering support to someone going through one. So, to say he didn't know what to do, except what had helped him, was to say the least. He's just glad he was able to help get her breathing normalized.
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It had been a busy day with school and practice with the boys. Holly is finally settling in at home and getting some much-deserved rest. She had just tidied up and was sitting down on the couch, turning on the TV to find something to watch.
It had been a weird few weeks for her and Marvyn's relationship. She thought they might be getting closer, but then he would close himself off from her and now she was just confused. This man was a thorn in her side, throwing her all these mixed signals all the fucking time. She never knew what to expect from him, his mood changing every day. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind from thoughts of the conundrum named Marvyn Korn.
As she was scrolling, she landed on a channel playing The Conjuring and she paused on it. It came upon the scene where they were at the height of the exorcism and she panicked, looking away and turning off the TV quickly. Something about the scene brought her back to her younger years and the anxiety within built to a boiling point and spilled over fast.
She was struggling to breathe, wide-eyed and terrified. Her throat was tightening and it was becoming hard to breathe with this weight on her chest. She knew she had to get some water to help her out of this or else she was going to be stuck in this downward spiral.
She slowly tried to stand, the action proving to be difficult as her whole chest was contracting in uncontrollable spasms. She was about halfway to the kitchen when her body decided to give out and she fell to the ground. Holly tried to crawl over to her final destination, the sink to get the water her body so utterly craves
She was almost there when she heard the front door open. Thank god Marvyn's home. She stopped trying to get to the sink and just stayed on the floor, hoping Marvyn would see her and come help her. She didn't have to wait long, hearing his footsteps coming closer.
"Holly! Oh my god!" He came running to her, crouching down beside her.
"What can I do? Oh god, is there something I can do?"
"I- wa-ter." She stuttered as best as she could.
When Marvyn handed her the glass, she tried her hardest to keep her hand steady but failed. He carefully put the glass in her hands, water pouring over the edges once she had it.
"Is there anything else I can do?" Holly just looked at him over the rim of the glass, struggling to hold it.
Holly panics at Marvyn's touch. No one has ever touched her during a panic attack and it had gone well. Oh my god! What is happening? Why am I not freaking out more from his touch? This has never happened. She realizes then that this connection with him goes a lot deeper than she has been letting herself believe. And that scares the shit out of her.
"Thank you," She said softly with a slight smile. Marvyn moved his hand down her arm and took her hand in his, cradling it to his chest. If she overthought what was happening between them right now, she might slip back into the height of her panic.
A few more seconds pass before the silence is broken.
"Let's get you somewhere more comfortable." Marvyn helps her off the floor, grabbing both of her hands and pulling her up slowly. Holly wasn't steady on her feet so he crouches down a little and swings her left arm around his neck and bringing his under her arm to support her weight. He also raises his left so he could grab her left hand that was resting near his shoulder. He starts moving over to the couch slowly so he doesn't rush and have her pass out.
Well maybe that wouldn't be so bad, he thinks. Stop it Marvyn, you don't want her more hurt and shaken up than she already is.
He guides her over to the couch, helping her sit gently before sitting next to her, closer than normal, still worried about her. He was looking at her with those soft periwinkle eyes of his. With a look for only one person.
"What happened?" He asked a little more forcefully than he meant to.
Holly looked into his eyes, not wanting to give too much away about her personal struggles. But the way he was looking at her was making her melt and she couldn't help but share just a little with him.
"I don't even know. I was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch when I stopped briefly on a scary movie and I just was taken back to a time in my life when I didn't have control. I felt panic building so fast within me, a weight on my chest that I couldn't stop from sending me over the edge."
"Have you had a panic attack before?" Marvyn asked.
Holly nodded her head slowly. "Scary movies are a trigger for me. I don't know why, but I guess it has something to do with what happened to me when I was younger."
"What happened to you when you were younger?" He asked, not knowing he was trying to open a part of her she hadn't shared with another person in a long time.
She broke eye contact with him knowing she wasn't strong enough to continue holding his gaze.
"Holly please." He grabbed one of her hands that was sitting in her lap and intertwined their fingers. She flicked her gaze back up to Marvyn's. His eyes pleaded with hers, trying to say everything was going to be okay through their eye contact and through lightly squeezing her hand.
This gave her the strength to begin. She took a deep breath. "When I was younger my parents' house was not always a good place to be. Actually, it was an awfully toxic place to grow up. They were always fighting, yelling at each other at the top of their lungs and then it even got to a level of physical altercations. It's the reason I started having panic attacks and was anxious all the time at 14 years old." She took another breath, needing to take a breather.
Marvyn offered as much support as he could through their connected hands. He didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue because he could sense she had more to say.
"Because they were always fighting, I would try to spend all my time away from my house, finding anything else to do." Marvyn nods, understanding why she would do that.
"At 16, I met this boy at school that I started to hang out with. We ended up getting pretty close, spending all the free time we could together. Not surprisingly, we started to date and oh boy did I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. He showed me what I thought was love at the time and gave me the attention I craved at such a young age. One Friday night, we were at his house and in his bedroom. His parents were away for the weekend, so we were alone doing what teenagers do, you know. He pushed me back on his bed, kissing me while trying unbutton my shirt. I told him to stop, that I didn't want to have sex with him, but he kept going." Tears were flowing down her cheeks, recalling one of the worst nights of her life.
"I tried to push him off of me, but he was too strong. He unzipped my jeans and got his hand down my pants before I was able to squirm out from underneath him. I ran out of his house so fast, knowing I had to get out of there. I didn't want to call my parents because they would kill me if they found out I had lied to them and was with a boy. So, I walked the 3 miles home that night all alone in the dark."
"Oh, Holly." His voice broke on her name, feeling sick at the thought of what she had gone through. Marvyn's heart was breaking for Holly. This woman, whom he was pretty sure he was falling for, had survived something that was unimaginably painful. And she still stood her today as a woman who had such a strong and protective exterior that came from those experiences.
"So your parents are the reason you have panic attacks? And the reason the movie triggered this one?"
She nodded, looking up at him through her wet eyelashes. "I go to therapy to this day to manage my anxiety and triggers. I don't have panic attacks as much anymore, but every once in and while one hits me because of something triggering me to go back into that time and that place. It's why I don't watch scary movies, the fear makes it too easy to lose myself in anxious thoughts."
"Holly, I just want you to know that you don't always have to be the strong one. I will always be here to help you through." He gave her a watery smile, trying to express that he wasn't just saying it at the moment to comfort her, but that he actually meant it.
With no warning, Marvyn pulls Holly to him and into his lap. She nuzzled her nose into the side of his neck, letting out a sob and crying into him. For that little girl who experienced so much at such a young age. And for the Holly of today, being able to finally share something so vulnerable with a man that she trusts with her whole heart.
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A little while later still in the same position on the couch...
"Hey," Marvyn whispered quietly. He didn't know that she was sleeping in his arms already. When he realized this, he stood up slowly, trying to stop her from being awoken from her sleep.
He carries her up the stairs and into her room. Laying her on the bed softly and tucking her in. He brushes her hair out of her face, leaning down and placing a feather-like kiss on her forehead. As he comes back up, he runs his hand lightly down her face, cupping her cheek. "Good night Holly." He whispers.
As he takes a step towards the door to leave, Holly grabs his hand. Turning back to her, he sees her eyes barely open in that state of sleep and wake.
"Please stay." She says quietly.
He looks into her eyes for a couple of seconds before deciding to do as she asks. He goes around to the other side of the bed, taking off his shirt and pants before getting under the covers. He moves closer to Holly pulling her to his chest, encircling her waist with his arms, and intertwining their legs. She moves her head on her pillow so she's closer to him and can snuggle into Marvyn's neck.
Holly falls back asleep almost in an instant, looking angelically peaceful. Marvyn can't believe he has Holly in his arms, once again tonight. She has faced so much in her lifetime and yet she's still an amazing woman with a heart of gold.
How did an asshole like Marvyn Korn get the chance to even be in her orbit? He will never know, but he knows this.
He will love her how she deserves. He will love her until the end of time and even beyond that.
