Author Note: I changed the title from "I'll Always Remember" to "God's Plan" because I found out someone else already used the previous title. God's Plan is more appropriate to the plot of my story anyway. Please correct me if I made any mistakes. Feedback and reviews are greatly appreciated. Please respect my work, ask before you publish it anywhere else (my email address is junyan@usa.com). I will try to update at least once a week. Thank you for supporting. Disclaimer: A Walk To Remember (the movie), Copyright © 2002, is the trade mark of Warner Bros. A Walk To Remember (the novel), Copyright © 2000, is the trade mark of Warner Books and novelist Nicholas Sparks. I do not own any of the characters in this story. All the characters and their names are fictitious. If the name of any living person has been used, the use was purely accidental.

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Chapter 1.

I would never forget that day.

The day that started it all...

I could remember every single thing that happened in that day, down to the smallest detail. I still remember I kissed my beloved wife, Jamie, goodbye in the morning, and headed to the university for the interview. I still remember she made the breakfast in that morning. I still remember during the meal, she repeatedly advised me not to panic in the interview. She'd been telling me the same thing over and over since I received the notification letter. But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the thought that she cared about me. It seemed that she was more excited than I was.

"Just remember to be polite and patient. Maintain eye-contact and concentrate on the questions." She muttered while she collected the dishes.

"Number 42." I said.

Jamie paused. She looked at me in confusion. "Huh? What 42?"

I smiled, "It's the 42nd times you said the exactly same thing to me."

She smiled back, and said, "Come on, Landon, be serious. It's important."

"Okay, I will be serious now" I dropped my face, and made a funny "serious" expression. She laughed and hit me slightly on the shoulder. I caught her hand and pulled her close me. She looked just as beautiful as usual. Today, she wore the pink sweater I gave her before we got married. We'd been married for almost 5 months now. I noticed she only wear this sweater in the day that means very special to her. I embraced her in my arms, feeling the softness of her skin, relishing the fragrance from her body. I could not stop thinking about how much I love her. Every time I had her in my arms like this I wished the time would just freeze so I can enjoy this luxury forever. I started to kiss her lips.

Jamie closed her eyes. Her breathing gradually turned heavy. Then she pushed me back a little. "Landon," She whispered, "You have to go. You're going be late."

"Okay," I said despondently, dragged myself out of my compulsion, "I guess I have to go now. Just wait here for the good news."

I picked up the car key and brief case. Jamie followed me to the door. We kissed.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you too." Jamie replied.

Sometimes I wonder, if I knew what was going to happen in that day, I would never ever step out of that door. I would stay no matter what. Though I knew I wasn't going to change anything, at least I knew I was there when it happened. I was there for her... It seemed that fate wish to test our love once again. Because after all, that day, I did step out of that door..,

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I arrived in the admission office a bit late. I was surprised of the news that one of the Professors wanted to interview the participants in person. He had just interviewed couple people before me. When I went in the room, I could see he's kind of tired.

Without looked at me, the old Professor motioned me to sit down. After all the greeting, he asked me the first question, "So, tell me about yourself, Mr... er. Mr. Carter." Then I started to tell him about myself, the things I achieved and the activities I participated in High School. I had recited this in my head for thousand times. I did not realize how boring and tedious it was until I actually speak it out. The Professor seemed lethargic to my speech. His eyes were half shut. His head tilted to the side, raising and descending slightly along with his breathing . I could almost hear the deep snore coming out of his throat.

Until I told him that I like baseball.

"Really?" The Professor's eyes popped back open, like an alarm just went off next to him.

"What do you know about baseball?" He asked.

The next thing I knew, we started to ramble about baseball -- the techniques, the strategies, the players, the teams, and the upcoming world series. I never expected the interview to turn out like this, but I was glad I clicked with the Professor. After about 30 minutes of chatter, Professor looked at the clock on the wall and said, "I'm really impressed, Landon, I just can't wait to talk to you again next time." We shook hands and that concluded the success of my interview.

On the way home, I could not stop thinking about how Jamie would react when I told her the good news. She would be thrilled. She would jump and shout, "Yes! Yes! Landon you did it!" I could even see the happy expression on her face now, the lovely dimples on her face, the bright brown eyes that never lose their vivacity, the long smooth hair that were flung hither and thither along with her movement. I painted all this pictures in my mind. A strong sense of joy floated in my heart. It was such bliss.

"Oh great, another red light." I said, growing impatient of this long trip back home. I could not wait to share this joy with Jamie. I caught this break and took out my cell phone I turned off before the interview to check on the messages. Surprisingly there were 55 new messages in total. It was strange. I just bought this cellphone. There was no way I could get so many messages in such a short time. When I read the first message and knew what was going on, I felt like someone stabbed me right in the heart.

The message read, "Jamie is not well. Need you in BH ASAP."

BH is Beaufort Hospital, the place where I spent sleepless days and nights, praying to God not to take Jamie from me; the place where I had felt completely hopeless and anguish. It was the most fearful place on earth, yet most emotional and memorable. It was there that Jamie held my hand and called me her angel. It was there I firmed my love with Jamie and decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her....

Now I had to go back and relive it again?

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I rushed to the hospital. My father-in-low, Reverend Sullivan, was there already, as well as many of my closest friends. They all looked anxious and worried.

Eric saw me first. He came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder, "Landon, God, you finally here. Jamie.. she passed out on the porch this morning..I happened to pass by your house.." I nodded, tapped back on his shoulder, "Thanks buddy." He opened his mouth, tried to say something, but winced. I knew he was trying to solace me, but he could not catch the words. Belinda was there too. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I nodded at her, showing my appreciation. She responded with sobbing.

I walked through the rest of my friends, and came to Reverend Sullivan. "Dad," I said, battling the trepidation of my voice, "how's Jamie?"

He sighed, shook his head, could not hide the distress on his face. "She's in the emergency room right now. Doctors are working on it. They said her chronic status just turned acute.."

I had lived with Jamie's illness for months now. In front of her, I never talked about her cancer condition, owing to that I did not want to ruin our time together, thinking about sad things. Instead I had secretly done some intensive research on Leukemia behind her back. I had read visually every single medical book in the local library and medical academy that were about Leukemia and blood related cancer. I had ordered tons of medical magazine and newspaper, looking for articles that involve new treatment of cancers. I even visited some prominent oncologists in the town, asking for advice. With my nearly professional level of knowledge on oncology, I knew that what Jamie had is Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. It was the most unstable kind and vicious one. It was like a wayward tyrant. The condition of the victim would deteriorate from time to time. If the patient maintained a healthy mentality, the symptom might withdraw in a short period. Then, when the malignant blood cells started to clutter again, the cancer would strike back, torturing its prey with everything it got. It progressed slowly, which allowed greater number of healthy blood cells to be produced, just enough to keep the heart beating, while consuming other part of the victim. When Reverend Sullivan said her condition just turned acute, that basically means the chance of Jamie to live just dropped 50%.

I was utterly startled by this catastrophe. On my way to the hospital, I thought I had well prepared myself for any devastating news about Jamie's illness. I thought I can handle it. Apparently I underestimated how hard this was.

My brain went blank in that instant. It failed to function. I could not hear the rest of what Reverend Sullivan said. I could not think of anything, like my memory just got erased completely, except Jamie's face, her beautiful face.

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