Disclaimer: Sentences marked with asterisks in front and rear, are excerpted from the original movie A Walk To Remember. This author did not create them and thus would not take credit from them. The reason for excerpt was purely to reinforce the relation between this fanfiction and the original movie. Thank you for understanding.

Chapter 4.

*Jamie and I had a perfect summer together, with more love than lots of people will know in a life time. And then she went, with her unfailing faith.*

Without Jamie's present, time seemed to speed up and slow down at the same time. 4 years passed. 4 years, I still didn't know if Jamie's alive. There was absolutely no tidings from her. As if she was an Angel sent by God to redeem me, after the mission, she simply vanished from earth.

I missed her a lot, more than anything in the world. The longing could not be inscribed in words, for even a thousand phrases could not express its depth and describe its profoundness. I could only feel it, deep down in the heart, accompanied by every piece of memory I had with her.

Every time I thought of her I would write a letter, even though I knew she could not possibly receive it, I still wrote it. I wanted her to be part of my life, part of my accomplishment - I wanted her to know how I enrolled into the University of North Carolina and became a full-time student, how I finished Bachelor of arts in Medicine in just three years, how I won numerous awards for many articles I wrote. I wanted her to know that some of my articles were published by many prestigious medical magazines and newspapers, and that I was named as one of the "Most Notable and Promising Medical Students of the Year" by Modern Med Magazine.

I wanted Jamie to know that I would become the man she wanted me and believe me to be. I knew that no matter where Jamie was - in heaven or on earth, she would always see my accomplishment and be proud of me.

I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, enjoying last hour of my campus life in the University of North Carolina. By afternoon, I would be back home in Beaufort for a 2-weeks vocation. After that I would go to American Academy of Modern Medicine in Philadelphia - one of the most eminent medical schools in the world, to pursuit my Doctor and ph D degree.

It was late September. The autumn in North Carolina is unlike anywhere in the world. The air has the combination of the fresh smell of the sea, which was brought back by the seasonal wind, and the last odor of lilac before winter. The sky seems closer to earth, almost limpid everyday. Leaves on the tree slowly change color, often cover all over the sidewalk overnight. Even the people seemed friendlier in September. They visit friends and families frequently, preparing for the holiday season.

But to me, September was special not for any of the reasons above. It was in this month, that Jamie left me. It was this month that I ran away from home and tried to find her.

"I will find her."

I still remembered the vow I made that day. I still remembered how crazy I was.

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I still remember the first year after Jamie ran away, I was angry and almost delirious. I left everyone behind, and went on a search for her. I searched through the local traffic agencies of Beaufort. Every train station, bus stops, airports, and harbors, I checked them prudently. After that I went even further. I drove along the east coast, stopping by each major city. From Miami to Jacksonville, from Savannah to Virginia Beach, from Richmond to Baltimore, from D.C. to Philadelphia, I must have visited thousand of cities, and did the same search I did in Beaufort. I went to libraries and checked on local newspapers, looking for any trace of Jamie. I handed out thousands copies of fliers. I raised rewards for any information. I even hired a private detective. When I ran out of money, I would find a job and work for several weeks, and then continue the search.

Until I got throw into jail in New York, for breaking into the security office of JFK International Airport, looking for the surveillance tapes they refused to provide me. It was not until another week that my Dad knew about me and bailed me out of jail.

On our way to the hotel, we were quiet. We never spoke. We never had eye contact. As if the distance once between my father and me, had again appeared due to Jamie's absence. I just sat there and watched magnificent edifices of New York City passing by our cars, and thinking about the next step of my search for my wife.

Finally we reached the hotel. I went to my room and packed up my belongings, while pondering which city I will go next. Should I drive further up north, to Boston and Manchester? It's cold up there, Jamie wouldn't go there. Should I fly to west coast and search there too?

"Landon," finally my Dad spoke.

"Yes, dad." I answered, still not looking at him, packing my bag.

"Come home with me, Landon." He said, softly almost pleadingly.

"No." I respond coldly.

"Where will you go then? I will come with you." He said.

"No dad," I turned around and said, "it's none of your business."

My dad looked at my eyes, then sighed. He turned around and faced the window.

Suddenly, I saw a cluster of gray hair on the back of his head. They must be newly formed, because a year ago before I left, I never notice he has gray hair. And then I notice how much older my Dad look now. The wrinkles on his forehead made him look almost 60, though my dad just reached his 45th birthday.

And then I realized how much he loved me and cared about me. I thought about the things he did for me and Jamie. I felt very sorry for him.

"Dad," I said, "I'm sorry I can't come home with you. I have to find her. Dad, I have to do this."

My dad sighed again, then he said, "I know I can't change your mind, Landon. I know your personality well - when you made a decision, you never changed it." He turned around facing me, "I barely talked to your wife. The only decent conversation between Jamie and me was right before the wedding. But just that one talk, I knew she was a lovely and wise young girl. You are so lucky to have her, Landon. I am so glad of it. But I'm very disappointed that you never understand Jamie, you never did."

I was confused, after all the things I did to win her heart, had I never understood Jamie?

My dad went on, "That day, before the wedding, Jamie and I talked about you, many reckless things you did in High School since freshmen year. We both enjoyed the memories. I suddenly realize that Jamie understand you more than anyone else -- more than your mother and me, more than even yourself. Then I ask her a question. I said, 'Jamie, you know how reckless and foolish my son is, he can be very selfish and cruel sometimes, why you still want to marry him?'"

My dad paused, then asked, "Do you know what she said?"

I shook my head, eager for the answer.

Dad's eyes twinkled, "she said, 'because I know he will be great. He will be a great person and help a lot of people.'"

I was petrified and speechless. I thought Jamie loved me because of the things I did for her. Two places at once, butterfly tattoo, star registration, and building a telescope so she could watch comet Haikutaki at time, now all seemed unimportant. Did I really misunderstand her?

Dad seemed to read my mind, "Yes, Landon. She loves you because she believes in you. I want you to think about it. I want you to ask yourself this question, if Jamie is here, will she be happy of what you are doing right now?"

He put on his coat and walked out of the room, never turned back.

Only Jamie's answer rang in my mind.

"I know he will be great."

"He will be a great person and help a lot of people."

Jamie believed in me. And I was letting her down.

I grabbed my pack and ran out of the hotel. I saw my dad standing in front of his car. He was waiting for me.

"D. dad," I said, trying to catch my breath, "I, I will come home with you."

My dad smiled. "welcome home," he said, "welcome home."

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The next day I flew home with my dad. The next week I handed in my admission to the University of North Carolina. The next month, I was on my way to college, with determination to success, to prove that Jamie was right.

She was right all along.