Hello everyone. I know it's taken me such a long time to finish this chapter. However, I've been in school and I've been working really hard. I've had a lot of stuff to do recently. Too much homework for the first week or so. Anyway, school has been slowing me down a lot. I go to an art school for piano so I have that to work with, too. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is: I'm sorry... I'll try and work as fast as I can!
And, as always, there is no 0wn4g3 of Love Hina for me. I really would like to, but I think it's against the law...
- ~ -
Tuesday
Morning
05 – Wisdom of Youth
SethSolare
A soothing breeze entered Naru's room in the morning. In the occurrences of last night, she left her door and window open. A few leaves lied in haphazard pattern around her room. The beautiful summer breeze smelled just as beautiful as it did for the years she spent in the Hinata Sou. Today was no different from any other day. However, the scent seemed different. Instead of standing, she was laying down on her futon, staring at her ceiling. A wonderful feeling of peace washed over her. Through the early morning breezes, she heard rustling below her. Many times, the sounds were a kind and comforting awakening. The pure thought of being awoken by another person thrilled the mind. For Naru, it was very beautiful and romantic. However, among the confusion created by the day before, she would rather not have heard him cleaning his room.
Keitaro paced around his room, randomly moving objects from one end to another with no real purpose. Morning activities kept the mind active. And for the first few minutes of the morning, he couldn't stop thinking of Naru. And yet, his mind couldn't forget Kitsune either. Confusion cut through his mind and he had no ability to think correctly. Cleaning aimlessly was his only outlet. When his room was finally disorganized, the thoughtless cleaning leaked out onto the dormitory. He began cleaning the windows and floors. Though the cleaning was needed, the actual cleanliness of the dormitory was not very different from what it was earlier. He didn't seem to notice what was being mopped, polished, or dusted. Only a goal had to be attained, no matter how poorly it was done.
As all of this went on, everyone else in the house noticed the great deal of emotion flowing from Keitaro and Naru. And as always, everyone would plan her own little scheme to get the two talking again. Usually, Kitsune was the brains of the group plan. However, she lived off in her own little world. She sat in her room writing in a little book she had kept by her bed. Many of the tenants knew she kept that little book and knew how important it was to her. Her diary was, like Naru's, was the most important and most precious thing she had. However, unlike Naru's diary, she had no pictures of Keitaro in it. Most of her diary was filled with words of longing. She wished multiple times that Keitaro would fall in love with her. As much as she wanted it, she would never be able to have him. She struggled to keep herself sane and happy watching him fall in love with Naru.
The dormitory remained unusually quiet, with all the activity Keitaro had going on. Shinobu kept to her chores as usual. In her early morning work, she had already done the laundry and was out doing the drying. She wasn't overly curious of the personal lives of her friends. Curiosity set in about Keitaro and Naru. Mainly, it arose from Naru's side. Shinobu thought she really knew what Naru thought, but she had a feeling that she could be wrong. Feeling worried, she couldn't help but continue smoothing out wrinkles from the clothes and hanging them thoughtlessly. It was a built in process for her.
Motoko walked up behind Shinobu quietly. Dressed in a new white tank top and jeans, she started helping Shinobu with the clothes. For the most part, her clothes came up first. The red tank top she wore yesterday was already hanging there. She fell in love with that shirt. In actuality, it was a shirt she had bought around the time her crush on Keitaro developed. Like everyone else, she wondered what would have happened if he would have fallen in love with someone other than Naru. Staring at the sea from the rooftop was a beautiful, wonderful thing to do in the mornings. In the afternoon, when it was time for a practice session, it wouldn't sparkle the same way. As much as Keitaro was incredible to her sometimes, he would change just for Naru. All that thought depressed Motoko, and she continued hanging clothes.
Su and Sarah stayed inside hanging around inside. The two of them worked on a new invention that had no practical purpose. Su carefully constructed a new machine that would peel bananas automatically. Her latest, completed invention was a simple computer. It had a single program on it that acted as a little matchmaker. One could enter their information and the information of another individual. She had no idea what to do with the invention, but it sat in her room and collected moss.
Mutsumi walked up the steps to the Hinata Sou. Though she had never really decided to go there that day, she walked by and hoped for some company. Her own place was boring. Haruka, who was quite tired, gave Mutsumi the day off. She, like many times, could sense her friends and their turmoil. It was some kind of intuition she had in her head. It was a strong feeling this time. It was this feeling in her stomach that had her feet climbing the steps.
Naru couldn't understand why she felt that way. It really hurt to hear Keitaro clean all the third-floor windows. It annoyed her, almost. With everything that happened, she couldn't stand to hear him; seeing him was worse. After some saddening thoughts, Keitaro appeared in front of her window. Instead of cleaning up the window, though, he rolled right onto Naru's floor.
"I have to get out of here. I just have to. I have to go." Immediately, she jumped down into the hole in her room and vanished away to the hot spring.
"I wonder what she's thinking. I wish I knew," Keitaro thought.
- ~ -
Naru slid open the door to the open-air baths. Sighing, she walked out to the baths and released the towel surrounding her. Taking the towel with her, she stepped into the hot spring. The towel lay on the ground as a headrest, all folded up. Feeling the warmth envelop her, she sat with her head back. A stare at the sky was followed by a stare into her eyelids.
"What exactly is his problem, anyway?" she thought. Heavy thoughts roamed around her mind. She couldn't peel herself away from these things going on around her. It was a horrible feeling for her. And yet, "It's all his fault."
"How could he even do that to me? He took complete advantage of me! There I was, all vulnerable and everything! And he… he…" and suddenly it was as if her thoughts went away completely. She tightly wrapped her arms around her body.
"I don't understand it. I can't stand to be without him but I can't let him actually kiss me and let him go. I have to beat him up every time. I can't help this stupidity," she thought. She curled her legs up against her.
"My heart pounded and I could feel his heart beat for me. But what the hell did I do? Why did I do that to him? I can't believe that this happened," she went on. Tears started coming down her face again. She couldn't remember when she had cried this much in such a short amount of time. She couldn't believe that she had all these emotions flying everywhere. She never felt all these things blaze through her. The feeling was like a slow death. A horrible feeling of torture washed over her.
"How could I do that to him? What happened to me? I wish it was so easy to lo-"
"Naru!" Su shouted at the top of her lungs. Naru almost flew out of the hot spring as she heard the voice explode from behind her. Her thoughts interrupted, she shifted her attention to the other girls. The distraction created a way for her to forget about her current thoughts and just relax. Find peace in the others, she moved around the hot spring's edge with her towel. "Hi everyone. Good morning," she said cheerfully.
The others climbed into the spring one at a time, all surrounding Naru. To the right of Naru, there was Sarah, Su, and Motoko. Shinobu, Kitsune, and Mutsumi were to her left. Naru looked around at the other girls and saw how content they were. None of them knew what was going on in her head and what it felt like. "None of them would ever know. They would never completely deny their feelings for Keitaro. Even Motoko wouldn't. And Kitsune, even though she messes around with him sometimes, she still cares for him. He's a friend to her. But Keitaro would never give Kitsune what he would give me. But if he did, Kitsune would accept it immediately. I know she would. Me? I can't do anything!"
"You seem troubled, Narusegawa," Motoko said, knowing exactly what was going on. As she pointed that out, everyone seemed to notice the turmoil spread across Naru's face. Suddenly, that feeling got worse. A horrible well of emotions began to gurgle inside of her. "What do you mean?" she said nervously.
"You don't look too good Naru. Did you eat too much?" Su piped up. Naru's face went red a little. She had eaten a lot of chocolate on the way out to the spring. "I… no. I'm just fine." Her cheery voice didn't seem to be very effective with all the nervousness behind it. "I guess I've just been soaking here for too long."
"I doubt that's really it," Motoko jumped in. Naru tried to get out of there as fast as she could but she was already trapped and surrounded by the girls. "I've tried to be nice to you Narusegawa. I tried to help you. But you slapped my hand away," Motoko spoke, seemingly irritated.
"I don't think my personal life is any of your business, Motoko," and the girls all backed up a little, except for Motoko.
"Don't you think you should calm down a little Naru?" Mutsumi added.
"I don't think this will go as well as we wanted it to," Shinobu whispered to herself.
"Any of my business? Do you realize what kind of disturbance you bring into our home? If this continues, misfortunes and bad karma will fester around us. Do you understand?" Motoko's sword was ready at her hand.
"What? What the hell is that supposed to mean? If I keep telling you that there's nothing wrong, evil spirits will invade our house?" Naru asked, her voice increasing in volume and tension. Obviously not pleased, Motoko seemed to be ready to take an offensive. The other girls had seemingly backed off significantly.
"We shouldn't be doing this!" Shinobu shouted. Though the tension was bad, she didn't want people in the house fighting, she never liked that. But, Naru ignored her.
"If it would make everyone happy, why don't I just not even acknowledge his existence?" Naru's voice was already a scream. At this point, even Motoko started to back away just a little. Of course, Naru never saw the attack coming.
Su ran right up to Naru and gave her big, however playful, slap to the face. In an amount of disbelief, Naru fell to the floor. It wasn't the power of a weak slap but she felt like she couldn't move her legs anymore. She felt weak and tired. Though she knew Su would never really hit anyone, it felt real and painful. "Su?" Naru whispered.
Su giggled a little bit, "I thought it would be a nice touch." No one around her understood what she meant. Su gave a little shrug, "It looks a lot like stuff you'd see on daytime television. This is the part where the two girls are fighting and then they starting slapping each other," and then Su ran over to slap Motoko. She barely flinched, even though hers was much stronger. As odd as it was, Naru paid attention to every word Su said.
"It's like, the guy and the girl are at ends. And everyone likes him and everything. But the girl really likes him. And the other girls just like him. And then the other girl fights the first girl and then one of them loses. And after one of them loses, they get the guy. But the girl doesn't know what's going on and she's all messed up. I saw an episode of that a couple days ago. I was recording it for Motoko!" The whole narrative seemed boring and stupid to normal people. But for the residents at Hinata, it was an accurate description of everything that happened. Everyone was almost awestruck at the odd intelligence of Su.
"If only I had slapped Naru," Kitsune thought. She sat down, facing away from the group. She felt a horrible feeling exploding within her. She felt sick and half-dead.
"Everyone? Where did Naru go?" Mutsumi asked. Everyone's attention suddenly changed from Su to the place where Naru was sitting before.
- ~ -
Naru ran down the steps of the dormitory as fast as she could. Dressed in her yellow tank top and that brown skirt of hers, she wouldn't stop until she got to the bottom of the steps. Even then, she could have just kept on running.
"What the hell? She slapped me! This stuff is becoming a huge problem for everybody," she thought. The simple action Su took was more than enough to shake Naru from her tiny zone of comfort.
Naru continued down the steps as fast as she could. However, a look to the left brought Haruka into view. She stared at Naru as she looked up from sweeping at the top of the steps of the teahouse. Letting her cigarette drop to the ground, she motioned for Naru to walk in. Watching as the curtains to the place swished behind Haruka, she decided that she would go in. "I guess tea wouldn't be so bad." She walked in as Haruka was pouring tea into a second cup.
"What's up?" Haruka asked plainly. She took out a pack of cigarettes and lit up another one. "You were running pretty fast."
Naru remained silent. To the one person who would listen to anything, the number one psychologist for the Hinata Sou, Naru said nothing to her. She didn't know what to say at all. "What can I possibly say to her? 'Nothing happening, I'm just running away from my friends and the man of… well, whatever he is."
"Why don't you tell me? You always can, you know?" she said. Haruka knew, instinctively, what was going on with the entire residence. With everything going on between Keitaro and Kitsune, she could easily guess Naru's problems. "You can tell your Aunt anything."
She decided that it would be best to let the words flow. Naru began, "I don't know exactly. I guess I can't understand why I can't tell Kei how I feel, or anyone."
"You can tell me. You have once before," Haruka responded.
"I don't understand. I want to say it, but it's so difficult. I can't even tell the others. I can't even tell Kitsune," Naru went on. Internally, she didn't really want to tell Kitsune. And yet, it was difficult to try and tell her. She didn't even know why she struggled to tell Kitsune.
"You think it has something to do with Kei?" Haruka asked. Understanding Naru was a great task. However, she guessed how Naru felt and how she thought. It would almost be easy, if she were right.
"I don't know. It might. But it might be about me. I mean, it's just like a daytime television show or something," Naru said. The things that Su said really hit Naru. It felt painful to hear them. However, she had no idea why it was like that. There was no way to explain why the feeling of the need for everything to be some kind of drama production was needed. Naru felt that it was very strange to live the life of some drama queen.
"Really? Maybe it's because you want everything to be so perfect like it is in the movies," Haruka said plainly. Naru's mind already heard that once. It was bad enough to hear it from Haruka. However, she didn't want to hear it first from Su, someone who was too childish to really understand love. "Does everyone think that?" she asked herself.
"What you have to realize is that movies are perfect. Everything turns out the way it should. The guy gets the girl, no questions asked. However, things change, little by little in the real world. The guy's affection could change suddenly one day. Where would you be then?" Haruka asked her. Haruka wished she had known all of that before. Maybe back then, it wouldn't have been so difficult. She had been a bit like Naru back then. Wanting the guy and hating him at the same time were a constant dilemma. And yet, he kept coming back, over and over again.
"I want him to tell me, you know?" Naru said.
"I thought he did. Several times, I believe. I don't think you've ever given him a clear answer," Haruka said. Naru didn't want to believe those words. But she knew her "aunt" was right. This was always something that struck Naru. Haruka was Keitaro's aunt. More than anyone, she felt closest to Haruka. She often saw her as a favorite-aunt figure in her life. Naru never even believed that he was truthful. He had always been such a pervert right after he said such things. It was hard to believe him sometimes. But she did.
"You're the girl that never told him. And now, he'll be leaving very soon. I forget what movie that is. But the guy leaves the girl in search of his dreams. Now, here's where the story is different. She tells him in the end. If he passes that test, you've got until Sunday morning," Haruka said. "Is that what's bothering you? He's leaving?"
Naru said nothing. For the second time with Haruka, she didn't know what to say. "I have no idea why I can't tell him! What's wrong with me!"
"Maybe you just want to create drama for yourself," Haruka continued.
"No, that can't be it."
"Maybe you just want him to be your friend forever."
"No, that's not it either."
"Or maybe you're just scared."
"Maybe…"
"Or maybe you don't want your world to change. You're afraid of growing up and finding real love in someone else. You're just afraid to feel the things you should be feeling."
Naru remained quiet. Her mind blank, she sipped her tea quietly. She didn't understand what made her believe that it was right. Maybe she didn't want to be a person in a mature relationship. Maybe she didn't want to grow up and be this person for Keitaro.
"You need to understand, Naru. Growing up doesn't just mean going to college, being smarter, and looking older. It also means falling in love, feeling more, and understanding more. I understand you're physically strong. But you're heart is incredibly weak, Naru. You almost have no ability to love someone."
Those words attacked Naru's heart like a million needles within. It was a painful realization. It was suddenly something she had never felt before. Filling her mind with ache, these words could bring her to her knees. It was a feeling of death.
"You need to become older, Naru. You need to grow up and love, as an adult should. If you don't, you'll regret that you never did," Haruka told her. She let hand rest on Naru's head. "I wish I had done that. I wish I didn't have to regret what I did." Haruka lifted Naru's head up to face her. Looking her in the eye smiling a little, she told her: "Don't do what I did. Don't be me."
Naru stayed silent. She didn't know what to say, still. Painful words followed by words of encouragement. Naru knew what was hurting her immensely. And now she needed to follow Haruka's advice. However, she didn't know what to do.
"What should I do then?" Naru finally asked.
"Just tell him. Find some time and tell him. He's been working hard all day so I'm sure he'd like a break," Haruka told her.
"What should I tell him, then?" Naru asked.
"Keitaro is the most important person in your life. I'm sure that when the time comes, you can tell him. The words will come to you; I'm sure of it," Haruka encouraged her.
"I guess," was all Naru could say. She took the last sip of tea as she finally set her mind on the last bit of her childhood that was about to leave her. Her foolish inability to say three simple words was gone. Replaced by courage, Naru thanked Haruka for the tea as she left to find Keitaro.
Left there, Haruka cleaned up the little cups. As she washed the cups, she noticed a figure with her in the kitchen. Realizing that this person heard the entire conversation, she hoped it would not be one of the girls. Approaching her, the person spoke, "So, is she really going to tell him then?" Kitsune walked up to Haruka, giving her a friendly kiss on the cheek.
"I suppose she would," she responded. She had no idea what to tell the girl. It wasn't a good sign for Kitsune to be here listening to the conversation. Haruka had become nervous rather quickly, something that usually never happens.
"I hope she gets him then." Kitsune said as she turned and walked away. She exited out the back door in the kitchen. Haruka was left standing there, not knowing what to say. "I hope I did the right thing," she thought to herself.
Kitsune continued walking deeper into the forest surrounding the dormitory. She heard the entire conversation. Hearing the determination in Naru's voice was a bad feeling for her. She no longer knew what to do. She knew, at that very moment, she lost the man she loved to her best friend. She realized that it was over. She understood that love, for her, had left her. Finally, she dropped to her knees and cried.
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Something from me: Okay, like I said before, I'm sorry it has taken such a long time. Secondly, if you heard the song, chapter 4 was where the lyrics of that song are important. If you can't understand how I used it, I can explain it in my last chapter in this little section. Anyway, I'm trying very hard to get this stuff moving. It's kinda hard because I don't have a lot of time to collect my thoughts. Whenever I have time to write, I try to just blaze through it, getting things in and all that. I hoped you all liked this chapter... I still personally think that chapter 2 and 4 are my best... but... I do love any of my scenes with Haruka. So this chapter is really good! Like always, I'd love to hear from you.
