I know I haven't posted lately on this fic..I'm so sorry about the delay but I was I guess you could call it a writing hiatus for awhile! Anyway, here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy it..and again I apologize for how long it took me to update!
Your feedback is greatly appreciated!
For some reason Jenna could tell that Bosco listened to her. Over the years she had learned to read people and she read him better than she thought she could. The look deep down in his eyes screamed out 'Help me! Help me!' but of course his mouth didn't. Thankfully she knew to look deeper than words. Tears are expensive, words are cheap.
She decided to let Bosco think about it. She HAD to be patient about this, but patience wasn't a quality she held. She'd have to for this situation. The road to recovery would be long, narrow, and bumpy but she knew herself, as well as Bosco could do it, if he would let himself open up.
~~
Bosco felt the urge for a drink at around 7:45 that evening. He wasn't sure where to go though.
Haggerty's? No, too many familiar faces. Too many questions would arise.
He really didn't feel like going to a place he wasn't familiar with so he decided on his mom's bar though it would be pretty awkward.
He walked in, gave a small wave and sat down on the stool he usually found himself at. He knew he shouldn't be here, getting shit faced again but he couldn't help it. His job was cursed, Faith was dead, and Jenna had come back to help him but he turned her away. He didn't realize what he had until it was gone, and now he had no say in it.
"What are you doing here Maurice?" His mother smacked on some gum as she waited for him to answer.
He tapped his fingers to the beat of a Metallica song playing on the jukebox and hesitated before speaking. "No cigarette for you tonight?"
She smiled and crackled it between her teeth. "I've resorted to Nicorette, the nicotine gum. People can kick their bad habits ya know."
He scoffed, knowing exactly what she was getting at. "Can I have a shot of Jim Beam?"
Rose rolled her eyes, "Maurice, alcohol isn't going to help your pain."
He nodded as he stared down at the glass. He was so tempted to pick it up and just drink it down but he didn't move his hands towards it. "Jenna came to my apartment a few hours ago. She wants to help me." He kept his gaze in the same spot, not sure why he just told his mother that.
"Oh yeah? Did you agree that you do need help?" She noticed his hesitation on whether to drink it or not.
He moved the glass in a small circular motion with his fingertips. He watched as a few small bubbles formed on the surface of the whiskey. "I told her I was fine."
"Ah, do you realize you lied to her? You aren't fine." He shook her head with disgust wishing he wasn't so damn hard headed.
He licked his lips and ran his hands over his face. "I know god Dammit. I know I'm not fine."
Rose couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did he just admit that this wasn't normal? "Maurice, that is the first step to recovery, admitting it."
His mouth watered as he thought about the whiskey's taste and how it would feel down his throat if he drank it down. "Yeah, well I'm not gonna get help. Over time things will be normal." He drank down the Jim Beam, his tongue dancing from the strong flavor. He had just lost an inside conflict with his mind and he knew that. He then realized he needed to see Jenna.
~~
He made his way back up to his apartment at 9:00 and quickly dialed her cell. He had hope that she would still consider helping him, but he had no idea she wanted to help more than ever. The other end rang and someone finally picked up.
"Hello?"
His heart pattered fast as he heard her voice. The words were on the tip of his tongue but they wouldn't come out. His mind froze.
Again she said, "Hello?" this time, more annoyed.
He cleared his throat. "J.. Jenna."
"Maurice? What's wrong?" She switched the phone from her right ear to her left quickly and waited.
"I.. I need to see you. We need to talk. I'm at home." He hung up the phone and threw it down on the coffee table. This was a hard thing for him to do, admit that he had a problem.
He paced back and forth as he waited, he just couldn't sit still. His mouth grew dry but instead of liquor he grabbed a bottle of water. He heard footsteps and a light knock. His nerves skyrocketed as he opened the door and allowed Jenna in once more.
Her gaze fell on the bottle of water in his hand, thankful it was that and not more booze. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I'm here Maurice."
He hugged back, his stomach settling. "Jenna thanks for coming back. God knows I don't deserve this." He looked into her eyes and kissed her lightly.
"You deserve so much more than you think. Now, talk. You said you needed to talk to me so fire away." She sat down on the couch and watched as he paced back and forth in front of her.
"I was at Ma's bar earlier as always, I wanted a drink. I didn't grab it and drink it down right off like I usually do but it made me have this mental conflict." He closed his eyes and pondered for a second and then opened them again.
He sat down on the coffee table directly in front of Jenna and held her hand. "I mean, I did NOT want to drink it, but before I left I chugged it down. I lost the struggle I had within myself. I knew I needed help before that but me drinking it finalized it. I realized I couldn't turn it down." He squeezed her hand tighter.
She was so grateful that he was finally opening up to her. It was like a breaking point in this situation and it just made her smile. "Okay, your recovery has begun. I want you to know that I'm here every step of the way. I care for you that much."
He looked down at his feet and back up at her. She made him feel accepted, and not many people had done that in his life. It was like a whole new feeling for him.
"Really? You really care for me?" His voice was full of question.
She shook her head and grinned. "I never tell a lie. You are special Maurice."
He ran his hand over her hair, remembering the night he hit her. It was the biggest mistake of his life. "I never said sorry for hitting you. I'm sorry. I want you to know that I'll never, ever do it again. I'm really messed up right now."
"I forgive you. I'm here to fix you. To make you the Maurice Boscorelli you once were."
~~
Bosco decided to go into work the next day just to see everyone. He had distanced himself so much from everyone and he actually kind of missed his friends. He never thought he would. He walked into the locker room still expecting to see Faith at her locker, but it was empty and she wasn't there. He looked away and over at Sully and Davis.
"Hey guys, how's the streets been?" He rubbed his hands together, feeling awkward with every second he was there.
Sully smiled. "Quiet. When are we gonna see your face in uniform again?"
"As soon as Swersky lets me back. Knowing him he won't for a while. I'm just ready to be back."
Swersky peaked his head in and noticed Bosco standing there. "Guys, roll call is soon. Boz, let me see you in my office right quick."
~~
Bosco walked in and took a deep breath. Swersky leaned back in his chair and looked at him, up and down. "Well, I can say you look somewhat better than the last time I saw you."
Bosco nodded. "Ah. Not sure if that is a compliment or not but thanks. What do you want to see me for?" He took a seat and rested his head on the back of the chair.
"I want to talk to you about when you can come back. I know you've been having some problems, and I understand why. You've had a rough week. You got anyone around that you could talk to?"
Bosco leaned forward. "Yeah, I've got a couple of people."
Swersky jotted some notes down. "Before I'm allowed to let you back in a car you've gotta get some counseling. I'm leaning towards AA too. I know you aren't big on stuff like that but if you decline on it, you won't have a job waiting here for you. It sounds harsh but that's what the big boys told me to pass to you."
Bosco remained quiet as he let the words soak into his mind. "Is it okay if I take someone with me to those meetings? I'd feel better about it if I could."
"Who do you have in mind?"
"My girlfriend. She wants to help me more than anyone else."
Swersky raised an eyebrow. "You girlfriend? Why do you want your girlfriend there?"
Bosco really didn't want to tell him but he might as well. "She makes me feel comfortable."
"Okay. She can go too. Of course. I just need you back here on the street. Everyone misses you, believe it or not. So you go get well and we'll be here waiting for you."
"Thank you sir." Bosco shook his hand and walked out.
~~
Bosco's first meeting with Alcoholic's Anonymous was at 8:00 that night. He held Jenna's hand as they entered. Others stared back at them but Bosco didn't care. He just wanted to get this over.
He sat down in an orange chair and waited for class to begin. The hardest part of AA was actually making yourself go and here he was. A huge step in his recovery.
A lady walked in, a manila folder in her hand and a pencil behind her ear. Bosco was guessing she was the "speaker" or group leader. She leaned against the desk that was in front and cleared her throat.
"Welcome to Alcoholic's Anonymous. If this is your first time, my name is Katrina Perkins. Tonight we will start with the new members. When I point to you just introduce yourself, tell us your name, where you are from, what kind of problems you have experienced. That sort of thing."
She pointed at Bosco. He sat up, shocked that she chose him first. His heart raced fast as all eyes looked at him. He glanced at Jenna and then back at the group.
"Uh, my name is Maurice Boscorelli. I'm 33. I live here in New York City." He paused. He didn't want to tell him his problems. It was none of their business in the first place.
Katrina cut in. "And Maurice, what have you been experiencing that made you choose alcohol as a part of your life?"
He stared down at the floor. It was so quiet that you could hear someone writing. He closed his eyes and watched as the horrible images passed before his eyes. The little girl, the suicide that turned out to be pretty much true, Carlos laying close to dead on the street, and then Faith. The images of the plane debris all over the ground, Emily and Charlie. He stood up quickly and opened his eyes.
"I can't do this right now." He walked out and paced back and forth in the hallway, waiting for Jenna to come. She followed and grabbed his arm.
"Maurice, are you okay?" She sat him down on a small bench.
He leaned his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. "It's so bad that I don't even want to close my eyes Jenna. It hurts to even think about it, I don't think I can speak it."
She ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay, if you aren't ready to talk about it then don't. But you are going to have to eventually."
He nodded. "I know. Just don't make me go back in there tonight."
Katrina walked up to them. "You gonna go back in and try that again?"
Jenna stood up. "I don't think so, not tonight. We'll try this again next week okay?"
Katrina frowned. "Alright, but Lieutenant Swersky will hear about this."
Bosco just stared up at her from the bench. He didn't like her, not one bit. Jenna pulled her to the side.
"Look, you can tell Swersky, but he isn't ready right now. I don't want him freaking out or something okay? If he's not ready to talk you can't force him. Swersky will understand that more than you, so go ahead and tell him."
Katrina shrugged. "I'll see you next week."
~~
Bosco listened to the car's tires run over the pavement as Jenna drove down a quiet, New York street. He looked up into the sky but could barely see any stars, the smog was thick.
"You know when the last time I actually saw a full sky of stars was?" He wasn't sure why he asked her, because he really couldn't remember himself. Jenna glanced at him and then back to the road.
"When?"
He ran his index finger over his eyebrow and looked back up. "I can't really remember. It's been so damn long since I've seen a clear night sky that I forgot what one looks like."
She bit her bottom lip and turned a corner quickly, surprising both of them. "You got anywhere you need to be right now, Maurice?"
He shook his head no. "Nowhere I can think of, why?"
"You'll see."
~~
Bosco had no idea where she was taking him. They had already left the city limits. He looked out the window, trying to figure out where they were at and why she took him out of the city.
She turned the car down a small, dirt road and parked it. She noticed his face that was full of question and it made her smile. "You look confused."
He nodded his head, agreeing with her. "I am. Where are we?" He looked around and opened his door. She followed him to the back of the car where they both sat on the back of it.
"Maurice, this is where I used to come when things in my life weren't going well. This is where I came the night you hit me. It's got a nice view of the stars and it's quiet. It's a quick getaway from city life, even if you can only stay a few hours or minutes. You just seemed like you needed to see some stars, have some peace and quiet."
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. He took in a deep breath of the fresh, smog free air and listened to some crickets chirp in the field beside them. "Thanks, for showing me this place. Even if we eventually have to go back to the city, I can always think back to here and clear my mind that way."
Her thoughts wondered to the AA meeting they had been at earlier. She wished to God that he'd open up and speak to them, but she wasn't in his shoes so she had no idea how it felt. The sooner he spoke up about it, the sooner he'd feel better.
"Maurice, next week at the AA meeting, try to at least say something that has been bothering you. I know you probably don't want to hear this right now but do me this one favor, and TRY to do it." She gave him a reassuring look and kissed him lightly on the lips.
He sighed and looked down at the gravel beneath them. He knew he had to speak up sooner or later, so why not sooner?
"Okay Jenna, I'll do it for you. I owe you."
She shook her head no. "Maurice, do it for yourself. You owe it to yourself, not me."
~~
He woke up the next morning in Jenna's bed, unsure of how he got there. He rolled over and shielded his eyes from the bright lights that showed through the blinds. He could hear the faint racket of pots and pans being tossed around in the kitchen so he decided he'd better get up and see what was going on.
He quickly put on a t-shirt and yawned as he walked in, watching Jenna as she stood over the stove, her hair pulled back in a blue bandana. He couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked.
She looked up from the bacon in the frying pan and waved. "Hey Maurice, did I wake you?"
He leaned against the refrigerator and continued to watch her. "No."
"Good morning." She approached him and kissed him. "Sleep well last night?"
"Better than normal." He sat down at the kitchen table and poured himself a cup of coffee.
She poured the steaming bacon on a plate and placed it on the table. "You got any special plans for today?" She licked her finger and sat down, taking a long sip of orange juice as she made her plate.
He thought about her question. "I'm thinking I might wanna go visit Faith's grave sometime today. Make my peace ya know?"
Jenna looked up. "Are you sure you are ready for that?" Him going to see it would help him out in the long run, she had to admit that.
"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be."
~~
Bosco walked slowly up to the cemetery entrance and frowned. He had always hated cemeteries. Just the thought of dead people six feet beneath him gave him the creeps. He knew exactly where her grave was, though that day she was laid to rest was a huge blur to him.
Jenna held onto his arm as they made there way down the small, concrete road. He tried not to look at other graves as he walked, but it was like rubber neckers wanting to see a wreck. He just couldn't keep his eyes off of them.
They approached her grave and he stopped, looking at the hill where it was located. He took a deep breath and looked at Jenna for some reassurance. She was the strong one in this battle; for once he wasn't the leader.
Jenna grasped his arm tighter and kept her eyes where his gaze fell. "If you don't wanna go any farther I understand. I can put these flowers on there for you."
He shook his head no. "I wanna do it. I've gotta do it."
He walked a few more steps up the hill and stood over her grave, as well as Fred's, Emily's and Charlie's. He couldn't believe that they were actually gone, and here he was standing over their final resting place. He wiped away a few tears that fell and placed some roses on Faith and Fred's headstone.
He was somewhat happy with himself. Here he was at a place he swore up and down to himself he'd never visit. This was a huge milestone, and he was thankful that he actually did it. Jenna read over the headstone aloud.
"Faith Yokas, a loving wife and mother. Fred Yokas, loving husband and father. Our time was cut short but here we lay together, reunited in the after life, for eternity."
Bosco gave a small grin. "The way it should be."
Jenna cocked her eyebrow and looked at him. "The way what should be?"
"Dying with the person you love. I wouldn't want to go any other way." He kept his eyes down on the headstones, knowing Faith was in a better place. "I'm glad I came and did this."
She ran her hands over his arm. "I'm glad you did too."
Your feedback is greatly appreciated!
For some reason Jenna could tell that Bosco listened to her. Over the years she had learned to read people and she read him better than she thought she could. The look deep down in his eyes screamed out 'Help me! Help me!' but of course his mouth didn't. Thankfully she knew to look deeper than words. Tears are expensive, words are cheap.
She decided to let Bosco think about it. She HAD to be patient about this, but patience wasn't a quality she held. She'd have to for this situation. The road to recovery would be long, narrow, and bumpy but she knew herself, as well as Bosco could do it, if he would let himself open up.
~~
Bosco felt the urge for a drink at around 7:45 that evening. He wasn't sure where to go though.
Haggerty's? No, too many familiar faces. Too many questions would arise.
He really didn't feel like going to a place he wasn't familiar with so he decided on his mom's bar though it would be pretty awkward.
He walked in, gave a small wave and sat down on the stool he usually found himself at. He knew he shouldn't be here, getting shit faced again but he couldn't help it. His job was cursed, Faith was dead, and Jenna had come back to help him but he turned her away. He didn't realize what he had until it was gone, and now he had no say in it.
"What are you doing here Maurice?" His mother smacked on some gum as she waited for him to answer.
He tapped his fingers to the beat of a Metallica song playing on the jukebox and hesitated before speaking. "No cigarette for you tonight?"
She smiled and crackled it between her teeth. "I've resorted to Nicorette, the nicotine gum. People can kick their bad habits ya know."
He scoffed, knowing exactly what she was getting at. "Can I have a shot of Jim Beam?"
Rose rolled her eyes, "Maurice, alcohol isn't going to help your pain."
He nodded as he stared down at the glass. He was so tempted to pick it up and just drink it down but he didn't move his hands towards it. "Jenna came to my apartment a few hours ago. She wants to help me." He kept his gaze in the same spot, not sure why he just told his mother that.
"Oh yeah? Did you agree that you do need help?" She noticed his hesitation on whether to drink it or not.
He moved the glass in a small circular motion with his fingertips. He watched as a few small bubbles formed on the surface of the whiskey. "I told her I was fine."
"Ah, do you realize you lied to her? You aren't fine." He shook her head with disgust wishing he wasn't so damn hard headed.
He licked his lips and ran his hands over his face. "I know god Dammit. I know I'm not fine."
Rose couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did he just admit that this wasn't normal? "Maurice, that is the first step to recovery, admitting it."
His mouth watered as he thought about the whiskey's taste and how it would feel down his throat if he drank it down. "Yeah, well I'm not gonna get help. Over time things will be normal." He drank down the Jim Beam, his tongue dancing from the strong flavor. He had just lost an inside conflict with his mind and he knew that. He then realized he needed to see Jenna.
~~
He made his way back up to his apartment at 9:00 and quickly dialed her cell. He had hope that she would still consider helping him, but he had no idea she wanted to help more than ever. The other end rang and someone finally picked up.
"Hello?"
His heart pattered fast as he heard her voice. The words were on the tip of his tongue but they wouldn't come out. His mind froze.
Again she said, "Hello?" this time, more annoyed.
He cleared his throat. "J.. Jenna."
"Maurice? What's wrong?" She switched the phone from her right ear to her left quickly and waited.
"I.. I need to see you. We need to talk. I'm at home." He hung up the phone and threw it down on the coffee table. This was a hard thing for him to do, admit that he had a problem.
He paced back and forth as he waited, he just couldn't sit still. His mouth grew dry but instead of liquor he grabbed a bottle of water. He heard footsteps and a light knock. His nerves skyrocketed as he opened the door and allowed Jenna in once more.
Her gaze fell on the bottle of water in his hand, thankful it was that and not more booze. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I'm here Maurice."
He hugged back, his stomach settling. "Jenna thanks for coming back. God knows I don't deserve this." He looked into her eyes and kissed her lightly.
"You deserve so much more than you think. Now, talk. You said you needed to talk to me so fire away." She sat down on the couch and watched as he paced back and forth in front of her.
"I was at Ma's bar earlier as always, I wanted a drink. I didn't grab it and drink it down right off like I usually do but it made me have this mental conflict." He closed his eyes and pondered for a second and then opened them again.
He sat down on the coffee table directly in front of Jenna and held her hand. "I mean, I did NOT want to drink it, but before I left I chugged it down. I lost the struggle I had within myself. I knew I needed help before that but me drinking it finalized it. I realized I couldn't turn it down." He squeezed her hand tighter.
She was so grateful that he was finally opening up to her. It was like a breaking point in this situation and it just made her smile. "Okay, your recovery has begun. I want you to know that I'm here every step of the way. I care for you that much."
He looked down at his feet and back up at her. She made him feel accepted, and not many people had done that in his life. It was like a whole new feeling for him.
"Really? You really care for me?" His voice was full of question.
She shook her head and grinned. "I never tell a lie. You are special Maurice."
He ran his hand over her hair, remembering the night he hit her. It was the biggest mistake of his life. "I never said sorry for hitting you. I'm sorry. I want you to know that I'll never, ever do it again. I'm really messed up right now."
"I forgive you. I'm here to fix you. To make you the Maurice Boscorelli you once were."
~~
Bosco decided to go into work the next day just to see everyone. He had distanced himself so much from everyone and he actually kind of missed his friends. He never thought he would. He walked into the locker room still expecting to see Faith at her locker, but it was empty and she wasn't there. He looked away and over at Sully and Davis.
"Hey guys, how's the streets been?" He rubbed his hands together, feeling awkward with every second he was there.
Sully smiled. "Quiet. When are we gonna see your face in uniform again?"
"As soon as Swersky lets me back. Knowing him he won't for a while. I'm just ready to be back."
Swersky peaked his head in and noticed Bosco standing there. "Guys, roll call is soon. Boz, let me see you in my office right quick."
~~
Bosco walked in and took a deep breath. Swersky leaned back in his chair and looked at him, up and down. "Well, I can say you look somewhat better than the last time I saw you."
Bosco nodded. "Ah. Not sure if that is a compliment or not but thanks. What do you want to see me for?" He took a seat and rested his head on the back of the chair.
"I want to talk to you about when you can come back. I know you've been having some problems, and I understand why. You've had a rough week. You got anyone around that you could talk to?"
Bosco leaned forward. "Yeah, I've got a couple of people."
Swersky jotted some notes down. "Before I'm allowed to let you back in a car you've gotta get some counseling. I'm leaning towards AA too. I know you aren't big on stuff like that but if you decline on it, you won't have a job waiting here for you. It sounds harsh but that's what the big boys told me to pass to you."
Bosco remained quiet as he let the words soak into his mind. "Is it okay if I take someone with me to those meetings? I'd feel better about it if I could."
"Who do you have in mind?"
"My girlfriend. She wants to help me more than anyone else."
Swersky raised an eyebrow. "You girlfriend? Why do you want your girlfriend there?"
Bosco really didn't want to tell him but he might as well. "She makes me feel comfortable."
"Okay. She can go too. Of course. I just need you back here on the street. Everyone misses you, believe it or not. So you go get well and we'll be here waiting for you."
"Thank you sir." Bosco shook his hand and walked out.
~~
Bosco's first meeting with Alcoholic's Anonymous was at 8:00 that night. He held Jenna's hand as they entered. Others stared back at them but Bosco didn't care. He just wanted to get this over.
He sat down in an orange chair and waited for class to begin. The hardest part of AA was actually making yourself go and here he was. A huge step in his recovery.
A lady walked in, a manila folder in her hand and a pencil behind her ear. Bosco was guessing she was the "speaker" or group leader. She leaned against the desk that was in front and cleared her throat.
"Welcome to Alcoholic's Anonymous. If this is your first time, my name is Katrina Perkins. Tonight we will start with the new members. When I point to you just introduce yourself, tell us your name, where you are from, what kind of problems you have experienced. That sort of thing."
She pointed at Bosco. He sat up, shocked that she chose him first. His heart raced fast as all eyes looked at him. He glanced at Jenna and then back at the group.
"Uh, my name is Maurice Boscorelli. I'm 33. I live here in New York City." He paused. He didn't want to tell him his problems. It was none of their business in the first place.
Katrina cut in. "And Maurice, what have you been experiencing that made you choose alcohol as a part of your life?"
He stared down at the floor. It was so quiet that you could hear someone writing. He closed his eyes and watched as the horrible images passed before his eyes. The little girl, the suicide that turned out to be pretty much true, Carlos laying close to dead on the street, and then Faith. The images of the plane debris all over the ground, Emily and Charlie. He stood up quickly and opened his eyes.
"I can't do this right now." He walked out and paced back and forth in the hallway, waiting for Jenna to come. She followed and grabbed his arm.
"Maurice, are you okay?" She sat him down on a small bench.
He leaned his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. "It's so bad that I don't even want to close my eyes Jenna. It hurts to even think about it, I don't think I can speak it."
She ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay, if you aren't ready to talk about it then don't. But you are going to have to eventually."
He nodded. "I know. Just don't make me go back in there tonight."
Katrina walked up to them. "You gonna go back in and try that again?"
Jenna stood up. "I don't think so, not tonight. We'll try this again next week okay?"
Katrina frowned. "Alright, but Lieutenant Swersky will hear about this."
Bosco just stared up at her from the bench. He didn't like her, not one bit. Jenna pulled her to the side.
"Look, you can tell Swersky, but he isn't ready right now. I don't want him freaking out or something okay? If he's not ready to talk you can't force him. Swersky will understand that more than you, so go ahead and tell him."
Katrina shrugged. "I'll see you next week."
~~
Bosco listened to the car's tires run over the pavement as Jenna drove down a quiet, New York street. He looked up into the sky but could barely see any stars, the smog was thick.
"You know when the last time I actually saw a full sky of stars was?" He wasn't sure why he asked her, because he really couldn't remember himself. Jenna glanced at him and then back to the road.
"When?"
He ran his index finger over his eyebrow and looked back up. "I can't really remember. It's been so damn long since I've seen a clear night sky that I forgot what one looks like."
She bit her bottom lip and turned a corner quickly, surprising both of them. "You got anywhere you need to be right now, Maurice?"
He shook his head no. "Nowhere I can think of, why?"
"You'll see."
~~
Bosco had no idea where she was taking him. They had already left the city limits. He looked out the window, trying to figure out where they were at and why she took him out of the city.
She turned the car down a small, dirt road and parked it. She noticed his face that was full of question and it made her smile. "You look confused."
He nodded his head, agreeing with her. "I am. Where are we?" He looked around and opened his door. She followed him to the back of the car where they both sat on the back of it.
"Maurice, this is where I used to come when things in my life weren't going well. This is where I came the night you hit me. It's got a nice view of the stars and it's quiet. It's a quick getaway from city life, even if you can only stay a few hours or minutes. You just seemed like you needed to see some stars, have some peace and quiet."
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. He took in a deep breath of the fresh, smog free air and listened to some crickets chirp in the field beside them. "Thanks, for showing me this place. Even if we eventually have to go back to the city, I can always think back to here and clear my mind that way."
Her thoughts wondered to the AA meeting they had been at earlier. She wished to God that he'd open up and speak to them, but she wasn't in his shoes so she had no idea how it felt. The sooner he spoke up about it, the sooner he'd feel better.
"Maurice, next week at the AA meeting, try to at least say something that has been bothering you. I know you probably don't want to hear this right now but do me this one favor, and TRY to do it." She gave him a reassuring look and kissed him lightly on the lips.
He sighed and looked down at the gravel beneath them. He knew he had to speak up sooner or later, so why not sooner?
"Okay Jenna, I'll do it for you. I owe you."
She shook her head no. "Maurice, do it for yourself. You owe it to yourself, not me."
~~
He woke up the next morning in Jenna's bed, unsure of how he got there. He rolled over and shielded his eyes from the bright lights that showed through the blinds. He could hear the faint racket of pots and pans being tossed around in the kitchen so he decided he'd better get up and see what was going on.
He quickly put on a t-shirt and yawned as he walked in, watching Jenna as she stood over the stove, her hair pulled back in a blue bandana. He couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked.
She looked up from the bacon in the frying pan and waved. "Hey Maurice, did I wake you?"
He leaned against the refrigerator and continued to watch her. "No."
"Good morning." She approached him and kissed him. "Sleep well last night?"
"Better than normal." He sat down at the kitchen table and poured himself a cup of coffee.
She poured the steaming bacon on a plate and placed it on the table. "You got any special plans for today?" She licked her finger and sat down, taking a long sip of orange juice as she made her plate.
He thought about her question. "I'm thinking I might wanna go visit Faith's grave sometime today. Make my peace ya know?"
Jenna looked up. "Are you sure you are ready for that?" Him going to see it would help him out in the long run, she had to admit that.
"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be."
~~
Bosco walked slowly up to the cemetery entrance and frowned. He had always hated cemeteries. Just the thought of dead people six feet beneath him gave him the creeps. He knew exactly where her grave was, though that day she was laid to rest was a huge blur to him.
Jenna held onto his arm as they made there way down the small, concrete road. He tried not to look at other graves as he walked, but it was like rubber neckers wanting to see a wreck. He just couldn't keep his eyes off of them.
They approached her grave and he stopped, looking at the hill where it was located. He took a deep breath and looked at Jenna for some reassurance. She was the strong one in this battle; for once he wasn't the leader.
Jenna grasped his arm tighter and kept her eyes where his gaze fell. "If you don't wanna go any farther I understand. I can put these flowers on there for you."
He shook his head no. "I wanna do it. I've gotta do it."
He walked a few more steps up the hill and stood over her grave, as well as Fred's, Emily's and Charlie's. He couldn't believe that they were actually gone, and here he was standing over their final resting place. He wiped away a few tears that fell and placed some roses on Faith and Fred's headstone.
He was somewhat happy with himself. Here he was at a place he swore up and down to himself he'd never visit. This was a huge milestone, and he was thankful that he actually did it. Jenna read over the headstone aloud.
"Faith Yokas, a loving wife and mother. Fred Yokas, loving husband and father. Our time was cut short but here we lay together, reunited in the after life, for eternity."
Bosco gave a small grin. "The way it should be."
Jenna cocked her eyebrow and looked at him. "The way what should be?"
"Dying with the person you love. I wouldn't want to go any other way." He kept his eyes down on the headstones, knowing Faith was in a better place. "I'm glad I came and did this."
She ran her hands over his arm. "I'm glad you did too."
