In Erin's room, the sun was fading slowly. The day had been long, as summer
days often were. And while Aaron remained in the room with her, Erin's mind
was a few doors down. _I'm being cruel to him_, Erin thought. _Aaron
doesn't deserve this_. But Aaron was oblivious as always, telling Erin
enthusiastically about the local hockey scores. Eventually, Erin shifted
off the bed. "Aaron," she said politely. "I have a dreadful headache,
perhaps you would leave me alone?"
"Oh, okay," Aaron seemed surprised.
As soon as he left, Erin flopped onto the bed again. She idly flipped through one of her books, but placed it down almost as soon as she opened it. She walked outside, into the barren and lonely corridors. The familiar sound of pacing struck her as she passed one of the doors. Erin gave a faint rap on the door, and when no one answered, she pushed it open.
"Hello?"
She was surprised to see Erik pacing the floors like a restless animal. Erin glanced around and closed the door.
"Are you alright, Erik?" Her voice was concerned, which left Erik puzzled.
"Why would you care, Erin? Surely a monster like myself is beyond care by you?" Erik's voice was cold, detached.
"Please don't Erik, I don't have the strength these days," Erin said sadly. "And I.I've messed things up horribly," her voice broke. "Everything's.ruined. Oh, God, Erik." As Erin slumped down, she relinquished control. Erik looked awkwardly at his former lover, tears streaming down her face. But before he could think better of it, he walked over to Erin and hugged her tightly. His lips pressed against her hair, and Erik began to whisper quietly. "It shouldn't have turned out like this," he muttered. "We were perfect, Erin."
She gave a choked sob. "Yes, I think we were. You meant everything to me, I would have done anything for you."
"Then," Erik paused. "Why did you have to leave?"
Even in Erik's arms, Erin still had the memory within her. Together, they had lived within a castle, one in a Brotherhood member's family for generations. In the south of England, the entire Brotherhood had all become something of a family. She was always a terrible cook, but one of the members, Ariadne, had a rather profound culinary talent. They were there for years, with Erik resting up after a painful battle. And over those years, she had fallen for him. It began as worship for a strong man, which blossomed into mutual respect for each other. Eventually, it turned to love. God, how pathetic that sounds. But it wasn't pathetic. It was desperate love. But everything had gone rotten. Something happened, and they became closer. But after that, she had seen it. He killed a man, out of anger, out of desperation. And his words were the worst thing. "He deserved it. You shouldn't have seen, Erin. But that doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do. I am sorry you saw, but not for my actions." Those words would always be with her. Even now, with Erik's arms around her, and his lips at her neck, she couldn't forget. God, she wanted to.
She sighed, terribly cold inside. It was a horrible feeling, to be within someone's arms and feel only emptiness. How desperately she wanted, needed to feel love. But nothing was there. Not even anger. She had been just emotionless these days. She wished she could at least hate, if she couldn't love. Even as she cursed and whispered his name, as she touched the swords he had given her, she still was blank. He ran his fingers across her skin, and she merely blinked. She knew her own thoughts all too well. Erik's thoughts were an impenetrable wall.
_I've missed this. That was what he was thinking. _Two years? More like two centuries. I hate these feelings. A man as powerful as myself need not feel so foolish toward this girl_. He had been hurt by her leaving, and he moved on. His life was as it should have been. But now, in Xavier's debt, he could do nothing. Love could not be based on location and necessity. _Am I that old? Where I cannot even tell my own emotions_? Erik slid into one of his thick chairs, and Erin slunk into his lap. As she rested her head beneath his chin, he began to speak again. "You're tired, my dear. Go to sleep."
She didn't smile, but instead looked away. "No, I'm not. I'm just very comfortable." And with that she readjusted, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"You do realize that it is rather inappropriate for you to fall asleep while resting on top of me?" He laughed quietly. "You forgave me awfully quickly, my dear."
"I'm lonely, Erik," she sighed. "I wonder if I do forgive you. I really wish I did. This place, it gets very lonely. God, Erik, I've lost everything. Deep down, I think you might have too."
"Well, I shall do what I can to keep you, Erin," he whispered. "I missed you, you know." And with that he noticed the girl had fallen asleep. "Erin, wake up." But she slept still, dreaming of nothing, and blinked her eyes, as the moon grew cold in the sky.
Erin was surprised to wake in her own bed, the sunlight streaming through the curtains. Perhaps it had all been a dream. But as she dressed, she realized it had to be real. Her dreams were vivid, painful, brief. They were indecipherable. Perhaps she could ask Jade if Alan would do some dream analysis someday. But that was unimportant. She put on an immaculate skirt and loose top. Perhaps out of curiosity, she went to Erik's door again.
"Are you decent?" She asked. The door opened, and Erik yawned, dark circles visible under his eyes. Erin rushed in, and cried out.
"Dear God, Erik! Are you alright?"
He laughed. "Fine. Insomnia, you know."
_Insomnia_? Erin thought. _This is the first night I've been able to sleep, without those dreams_.
"I'm sorry, Erik. I kept you up," she sighed. "I hadn't been sleeping well either lately." She paused. I don't know, I guess I have some regrets that keep me awake."
"I can guess those regrets," Erik smiled.
"Don't get conceited, Erik," she replied. "I may have missed you, but I won't give you the satisfaction of thinking you have control over me."
"I do love you when you're angry." Erik laughed and kissed her on the cheek. Her response disturbed him, as she shivered at his touch. "Go, go. I'm certain Xavier has some inspirational speech for you." At this, Erin laughed quietly as well.
"I am free, my dear Erik, and terribly bored." She yawned as if to demonstrate. "These days, Charles seems to think putting on a face of calm will dispel the rumors here. But he is rather far from the truth."
"Well, I am sure we can find something to do with ourselves."
"Why, Erik, that sounds rather kinky," she gave a rare grin.
"Please don't say 'kinky,' Erin. It makes me feel old," he said.
"Well then, what do you propose we do? You could sleep, and I could read. But that's not exactly thrilling," Erin ran her fingers against his cheek.
"I know," his eyes lit up. "Chess. We haven't done that in years. I bet I could trump you at it rather well."
"Hmph," she muttered. "We'll see about that." Chess had always been like fencing to Erin. She moved, she retreated. She hid behind her pieces and they moved like subjects to a benevolent God. Her mighty sword was her queen, her shield was her pawns. Erik was a masterful chess player. In many ways they were equals, but he always struck her down on the chessboard. He fought ruthlessly, a general sending troops to the slaughter. But Erin was trapped in a defensive style, always feeling the need to reinforce her boundaries. It was their separate personalities that revealed in chess. Erik was violent and swift. If Erin caught a high piece, Erik wouldn't show his displeasure, but would react mercilessly. She prayed they would never meet on the battlefield, for no matter what love he felt for her, Erik would never stop in a fight. And, as usual, he decimated her forces again. However, Erin had put up a good fight.
"You did well," Erik smiled, causing the girl to flush.
"I lost."
"You did well," he repeated, reaching to fix a loose strand of hair. "You have trained here, and I believe it has help you. Do you know why I can't forget you, Erin?"
"Because you're lonely, and I'm desperate enough to always come back? Wait, I know." Her voice was bitter. "Because you feel guilty, and maybe you hope loving me will heal you of such guilt." This stopped Erik in his tracks, as he saw the mixture of pity, loathing, and hidden feelings for him in Erin's face. His Erin, the one who would save him, had figured him out. And what's more, she was repulsed by him. The one person who would never fear him, never leave him.
"I can't forget you because you fight me, but you understand me. You may not agree with me, but by God you understand me." he smiled warmly as his fingers ran down the girl's neck. She bent her collar to his cold touch, and finally gave something of acceptance. Her heart was cold yet, but she could very nearly feel the love and respect she once did. It was like watching a film from one's past, touching, but it brought to mind all of one's failures. Their lips had barely met as the door was flung open.
"Erin!" Aaron cried out. "I was looking for you and someone said--- Holy shit, get away from her, you pervert!"
"Aaron, wait," she cautioned. "There's no problem, there's nothing going on."
"Nothing going on?!" His voice was stunned and angry. "He's kissing you! Did he touch you?"
"I did nothing against Miss Harrolds' wishes," Erik replied calmly. "Perhaps you should lie down, leave the two of us alone." He slid his arm around Erin's waist. Jesus, she thought. So possessive. What an ass. I suppose he enjoys harassing the poor boy. As Aaron's face went a pale white, Erin was touched. He cares for me, and yet I feel nothing for him. I suppose I feel nothing for anyone. But Erik is the closest."
Aaron seemed disbelieving that Erin was enjoying the arm wrapped about her. She stepped forward, shaking off the appendage. "Aaron, please listen to me. Erik and I had been seeing each other before I met you, but things.went south. He.just got back a few day ago." Aaron was stunned, shocked into silence.
"How could you. You never told me?" Aaron stormed out, leaving Erin depressed and resting her head on Erik's welcome shoulder.
They stayed that way for sometime, until Erin gave the man a look of desperation and went out. She had barely strayed into the hallways with the intention of doing research when she noticed the strange faces she was being given. The girls giggled as she passed, and the boys laughed out loud. She ran into Haley near the library, who she pulled aside. "Hello, Haley," she said, looking down. "Have you noticed anything strange going on here?"
"Well," Haley bit her nails, and fidgeted nervously. "There's a bit of a rumor floating about. They's been saying that you and, uh.Mr. Leonard, the old guy--"
"Lehnsherr," Erin whispered.
"Yeah, right. Anyways, people been saying the two of you been fooling around. Is it true you did it with that old guy?" Haley's eyes were fascinated.
"No, and I'll thank you to be polite," Erin's face was so hot with embarrassment that it was frozen.
"Jesus, Erin, Ah can't believe you were messing around with that guy. Kinda creepy, don't ya think?" Haley's words were naïve, but her tone was not.
"I can't believe Aaron would say that. It must be him." Erin seemed hurt, but Haley couldn't see why.
"Oh please," Haley scoffed. "Everyone could see you making eyes at him. You practically hang on him when he enters or leaves the room."
_Have I really? Erin thought. _I guess I haven't been subtle. It's hard when he has such a powerful personality. Magnetic, I would say, if I wanted to make a bad pun. Christ, now I'm the laughingstock of the school._
"It's no big deal," Haley tried to reassure her. "The rumors about me dissipated pretty quick. Just let it blow over."
Erin sighed, and ran her fingers across her tightly braided hair. Things couldn't have been much worse when the entire Institute shook.
"Shit!" Logan growled. "More attackers, I bet."
This time, the lawn contained only one man, dressed all in black. "Death to the weak!" He cried. The man gave a dark grin and closed his eyes. With each breath, the building shook again.
"Get all the students out back, just in case!" Cyclops ordered. Kitty twitched her fingers, and Fiona began to radiate heat.
"Oh, okay," Aaron seemed surprised.
As soon as he left, Erin flopped onto the bed again. She idly flipped through one of her books, but placed it down almost as soon as she opened it. She walked outside, into the barren and lonely corridors. The familiar sound of pacing struck her as she passed one of the doors. Erin gave a faint rap on the door, and when no one answered, she pushed it open.
"Hello?"
She was surprised to see Erik pacing the floors like a restless animal. Erin glanced around and closed the door.
"Are you alright, Erik?" Her voice was concerned, which left Erik puzzled.
"Why would you care, Erin? Surely a monster like myself is beyond care by you?" Erik's voice was cold, detached.
"Please don't Erik, I don't have the strength these days," Erin said sadly. "And I.I've messed things up horribly," her voice broke. "Everything's.ruined. Oh, God, Erik." As Erin slumped down, she relinquished control. Erik looked awkwardly at his former lover, tears streaming down her face. But before he could think better of it, he walked over to Erin and hugged her tightly. His lips pressed against her hair, and Erik began to whisper quietly. "It shouldn't have turned out like this," he muttered. "We were perfect, Erin."
She gave a choked sob. "Yes, I think we were. You meant everything to me, I would have done anything for you."
"Then," Erik paused. "Why did you have to leave?"
Even in Erik's arms, Erin still had the memory within her. Together, they had lived within a castle, one in a Brotherhood member's family for generations. In the south of England, the entire Brotherhood had all become something of a family. She was always a terrible cook, but one of the members, Ariadne, had a rather profound culinary talent. They were there for years, with Erik resting up after a painful battle. And over those years, she had fallen for him. It began as worship for a strong man, which blossomed into mutual respect for each other. Eventually, it turned to love. God, how pathetic that sounds. But it wasn't pathetic. It was desperate love. But everything had gone rotten. Something happened, and they became closer. But after that, she had seen it. He killed a man, out of anger, out of desperation. And his words were the worst thing. "He deserved it. You shouldn't have seen, Erin. But that doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do. I am sorry you saw, but not for my actions." Those words would always be with her. Even now, with Erik's arms around her, and his lips at her neck, she couldn't forget. God, she wanted to.
She sighed, terribly cold inside. It was a horrible feeling, to be within someone's arms and feel only emptiness. How desperately she wanted, needed to feel love. But nothing was there. Not even anger. She had been just emotionless these days. She wished she could at least hate, if she couldn't love. Even as she cursed and whispered his name, as she touched the swords he had given her, she still was blank. He ran his fingers across her skin, and she merely blinked. She knew her own thoughts all too well. Erik's thoughts were an impenetrable wall.
_I've missed this. That was what he was thinking. _Two years? More like two centuries. I hate these feelings. A man as powerful as myself need not feel so foolish toward this girl_. He had been hurt by her leaving, and he moved on. His life was as it should have been. But now, in Xavier's debt, he could do nothing. Love could not be based on location and necessity. _Am I that old? Where I cannot even tell my own emotions_? Erik slid into one of his thick chairs, and Erin slunk into his lap. As she rested her head beneath his chin, he began to speak again. "You're tired, my dear. Go to sleep."
She didn't smile, but instead looked away. "No, I'm not. I'm just very comfortable." And with that she readjusted, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"You do realize that it is rather inappropriate for you to fall asleep while resting on top of me?" He laughed quietly. "You forgave me awfully quickly, my dear."
"I'm lonely, Erik," she sighed. "I wonder if I do forgive you. I really wish I did. This place, it gets very lonely. God, Erik, I've lost everything. Deep down, I think you might have too."
"Well, I shall do what I can to keep you, Erin," he whispered. "I missed you, you know." And with that he noticed the girl had fallen asleep. "Erin, wake up." But she slept still, dreaming of nothing, and blinked her eyes, as the moon grew cold in the sky.
Erin was surprised to wake in her own bed, the sunlight streaming through the curtains. Perhaps it had all been a dream. But as she dressed, she realized it had to be real. Her dreams were vivid, painful, brief. They were indecipherable. Perhaps she could ask Jade if Alan would do some dream analysis someday. But that was unimportant. She put on an immaculate skirt and loose top. Perhaps out of curiosity, she went to Erik's door again.
"Are you decent?" She asked. The door opened, and Erik yawned, dark circles visible under his eyes. Erin rushed in, and cried out.
"Dear God, Erik! Are you alright?"
He laughed. "Fine. Insomnia, you know."
_Insomnia_? Erin thought. _This is the first night I've been able to sleep, without those dreams_.
"I'm sorry, Erik. I kept you up," she sighed. "I hadn't been sleeping well either lately." She paused. I don't know, I guess I have some regrets that keep me awake."
"I can guess those regrets," Erik smiled.
"Don't get conceited, Erik," she replied. "I may have missed you, but I won't give you the satisfaction of thinking you have control over me."
"I do love you when you're angry." Erik laughed and kissed her on the cheek. Her response disturbed him, as she shivered at his touch. "Go, go. I'm certain Xavier has some inspirational speech for you." At this, Erin laughed quietly as well.
"I am free, my dear Erik, and terribly bored." She yawned as if to demonstrate. "These days, Charles seems to think putting on a face of calm will dispel the rumors here. But he is rather far from the truth."
"Well, I am sure we can find something to do with ourselves."
"Why, Erik, that sounds rather kinky," she gave a rare grin.
"Please don't say 'kinky,' Erin. It makes me feel old," he said.
"Well then, what do you propose we do? You could sleep, and I could read. But that's not exactly thrilling," Erin ran her fingers against his cheek.
"I know," his eyes lit up. "Chess. We haven't done that in years. I bet I could trump you at it rather well."
"Hmph," she muttered. "We'll see about that." Chess had always been like fencing to Erin. She moved, she retreated. She hid behind her pieces and they moved like subjects to a benevolent God. Her mighty sword was her queen, her shield was her pawns. Erik was a masterful chess player. In many ways they were equals, but he always struck her down on the chessboard. He fought ruthlessly, a general sending troops to the slaughter. But Erin was trapped in a defensive style, always feeling the need to reinforce her boundaries. It was their separate personalities that revealed in chess. Erik was violent and swift. If Erin caught a high piece, Erik wouldn't show his displeasure, but would react mercilessly. She prayed they would never meet on the battlefield, for no matter what love he felt for her, Erik would never stop in a fight. And, as usual, he decimated her forces again. However, Erin had put up a good fight.
"You did well," Erik smiled, causing the girl to flush.
"I lost."
"You did well," he repeated, reaching to fix a loose strand of hair. "You have trained here, and I believe it has help you. Do you know why I can't forget you, Erin?"
"Because you're lonely, and I'm desperate enough to always come back? Wait, I know." Her voice was bitter. "Because you feel guilty, and maybe you hope loving me will heal you of such guilt." This stopped Erik in his tracks, as he saw the mixture of pity, loathing, and hidden feelings for him in Erin's face. His Erin, the one who would save him, had figured him out. And what's more, she was repulsed by him. The one person who would never fear him, never leave him.
"I can't forget you because you fight me, but you understand me. You may not agree with me, but by God you understand me." he smiled warmly as his fingers ran down the girl's neck. She bent her collar to his cold touch, and finally gave something of acceptance. Her heart was cold yet, but she could very nearly feel the love and respect she once did. It was like watching a film from one's past, touching, but it brought to mind all of one's failures. Their lips had barely met as the door was flung open.
"Erin!" Aaron cried out. "I was looking for you and someone said--- Holy shit, get away from her, you pervert!"
"Aaron, wait," she cautioned. "There's no problem, there's nothing going on."
"Nothing going on?!" His voice was stunned and angry. "He's kissing you! Did he touch you?"
"I did nothing against Miss Harrolds' wishes," Erik replied calmly. "Perhaps you should lie down, leave the two of us alone." He slid his arm around Erin's waist. Jesus, she thought. So possessive. What an ass. I suppose he enjoys harassing the poor boy. As Aaron's face went a pale white, Erin was touched. He cares for me, and yet I feel nothing for him. I suppose I feel nothing for anyone. But Erik is the closest."
Aaron seemed disbelieving that Erin was enjoying the arm wrapped about her. She stepped forward, shaking off the appendage. "Aaron, please listen to me. Erik and I had been seeing each other before I met you, but things.went south. He.just got back a few day ago." Aaron was stunned, shocked into silence.
"How could you. You never told me?" Aaron stormed out, leaving Erin depressed and resting her head on Erik's welcome shoulder.
They stayed that way for sometime, until Erin gave the man a look of desperation and went out. She had barely strayed into the hallways with the intention of doing research when she noticed the strange faces she was being given. The girls giggled as she passed, and the boys laughed out loud. She ran into Haley near the library, who she pulled aside. "Hello, Haley," she said, looking down. "Have you noticed anything strange going on here?"
"Well," Haley bit her nails, and fidgeted nervously. "There's a bit of a rumor floating about. They's been saying that you and, uh.Mr. Leonard, the old guy--"
"Lehnsherr," Erin whispered.
"Yeah, right. Anyways, people been saying the two of you been fooling around. Is it true you did it with that old guy?" Haley's eyes were fascinated.
"No, and I'll thank you to be polite," Erin's face was so hot with embarrassment that it was frozen.
"Jesus, Erin, Ah can't believe you were messing around with that guy. Kinda creepy, don't ya think?" Haley's words were naïve, but her tone was not.
"I can't believe Aaron would say that. It must be him." Erin seemed hurt, but Haley couldn't see why.
"Oh please," Haley scoffed. "Everyone could see you making eyes at him. You practically hang on him when he enters or leaves the room."
_Have I really? Erin thought. _I guess I haven't been subtle. It's hard when he has such a powerful personality. Magnetic, I would say, if I wanted to make a bad pun. Christ, now I'm the laughingstock of the school._
"It's no big deal," Haley tried to reassure her. "The rumors about me dissipated pretty quick. Just let it blow over."
Erin sighed, and ran her fingers across her tightly braided hair. Things couldn't have been much worse when the entire Institute shook.
"Shit!" Logan growled. "More attackers, I bet."
This time, the lawn contained only one man, dressed all in black. "Death to the weak!" He cried. The man gave a dark grin and closed his eyes. With each breath, the building shook again.
"Get all the students out back, just in case!" Cyclops ordered. Kitty twitched her fingers, and Fiona began to radiate heat.
