"Gryfindors"
Sung by: Severus Snape
To the tune of: "Little Girls"
From the musical: "Annie"
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Annie. If I did, the precocious
little child who played Annie would have been killed a long time ago.
***
Paper airplanes. Fire works. Dung bombs. It never ended. The bumbling
incompetents. A vain pulsed in Severus Snape's temple as he swooped around
his dungeon intimidating his class. Sixth year Gryfindors and Slytherins.
Goody.
He sent a Glare of Death at Neville Longbottom and savored the terrified
expression on the boy's face as he dropped the wrong ingredient in his
Caribbean-Sea-turquoise potion, which should have been a deep violet by
now.
Torturing the students was his only release...that and, of course, the
dance, but no one must know of that. Dean Thomas laughed loudly at a
moronic joke Seamus Finnegan had just told him. Snape silenced him with a
glare. Ron Weasley and Hermione granger bickered at the table behind them.
Severus caught Harry Potter's eye and the brat gave him a look of purest
loathing. On the other side of the room Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil
giggled over some frivolous bit of gossip.
Gryfindors. Slytherins were lovely. Ravenclaws he could tolerate.
Hufflepuffs were idiots, but docile. But Gryfindors. Damn those
Gryfindors....
In a fit of passion Severus strode to the front of the classroom and began
to sing.
"Gryfindors!
Gryfindors!
Everywhere I turn I can see them!"
As this was a tune from a musical Severus was singing, no one seemed to
find it strange that Severus had just broken into song, because that's just
how life is on Broadway.
"Gryfindors!
Gryfindors!
Every day I torture and teach them!
I'm an ordinary teacher
With students.
But I struggle to get through each class.
I won't lie, I'm not the nicest guy,
But still, they're such a pain in the ass!
Scarlet ties,
Scarlet pins,
They're all Harry Potter's biggest fan."
Snape glowered at the top of Weasley's vivid orange head as he looked down
at his potion.
"If I curse off
Scarlet heads,
Surely I'll get sent to Azkaban!
Some men are surrounded by luxury,
Money, and power, and whores.
Lucky me! Lucky me!
Look at what I'm surrounded by;
Gryfindors!
How I hate
Gryfindors
Every one
Is like a cancerous tumor.
I'd have cracked
Years ago
If it weren't for my
Sense of humor!
Some day
I'll step on their freckles!"
Severus smacked Weasley on the side of his head. He ignored Weasley's cry
of indignation and went on staggering drunkenly around the room.
"Some night
I'll straighten their curls!"
He pulled on a handful of Granger's hair. "Ow!" she cried, but Severus paid
her no mind.
"Send Death Eaters!
Send You-Know-Who!
Anything that you can do
To Gryfindors!"
Severus now had the class's full attention and he began to skip around the
room as he raised his voice for the last verse of his song.
"Some day I'll land in St. Mungo's!
With all the loonies galore!
There I'll stay, tucked away
Until The Ministry prohibits
Gryfindors!"
Severus took a bow as his class gawked at him in quiet shock. Suddenly the
door to the dungeon was flung open. "There he is!" cried the Headmaster,
Albus Dumbledore, looking concerned. "Poppy, do you think you can take care
of this?"
"Of course," said Madame Pomfrey and she took Severus gently by the arm and
led him out of the room. "Come on, dear," she said. "I think you need to
lie down for a bit......"
Sung by: Severus Snape
To the tune of: "Little Girls"
From the musical: "Annie"
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Annie. If I did, the precocious
little child who played Annie would have been killed a long time ago.
***
Paper airplanes. Fire works. Dung bombs. It never ended. The bumbling
incompetents. A vain pulsed in Severus Snape's temple as he swooped around
his dungeon intimidating his class. Sixth year Gryfindors and Slytherins.
Goody.
He sent a Glare of Death at Neville Longbottom and savored the terrified
expression on the boy's face as he dropped the wrong ingredient in his
Caribbean-Sea-turquoise potion, which should have been a deep violet by
now.
Torturing the students was his only release...that and, of course, the
dance, but no one must know of that. Dean Thomas laughed loudly at a
moronic joke Seamus Finnegan had just told him. Snape silenced him with a
glare. Ron Weasley and Hermione granger bickered at the table behind them.
Severus caught Harry Potter's eye and the brat gave him a look of purest
loathing. On the other side of the room Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil
giggled over some frivolous bit of gossip.
Gryfindors. Slytherins were lovely. Ravenclaws he could tolerate.
Hufflepuffs were idiots, but docile. But Gryfindors. Damn those
Gryfindors....
In a fit of passion Severus strode to the front of the classroom and began
to sing.
"Gryfindors!
Gryfindors!
Everywhere I turn I can see them!"
As this was a tune from a musical Severus was singing, no one seemed to
find it strange that Severus had just broken into song, because that's just
how life is on Broadway.
"Gryfindors!
Gryfindors!
Every day I torture and teach them!
I'm an ordinary teacher
With students.
But I struggle to get through each class.
I won't lie, I'm not the nicest guy,
But still, they're such a pain in the ass!
Scarlet ties,
Scarlet pins,
They're all Harry Potter's biggest fan."
Snape glowered at the top of Weasley's vivid orange head as he looked down
at his potion.
"If I curse off
Scarlet heads,
Surely I'll get sent to Azkaban!
Some men are surrounded by luxury,
Money, and power, and whores.
Lucky me! Lucky me!
Look at what I'm surrounded by;
Gryfindors!
How I hate
Gryfindors
Every one
Is like a cancerous tumor.
I'd have cracked
Years ago
If it weren't for my
Sense of humor!
Some day
I'll step on their freckles!"
Severus smacked Weasley on the side of his head. He ignored Weasley's cry
of indignation and went on staggering drunkenly around the room.
"Some night
I'll straighten their curls!"
He pulled on a handful of Granger's hair. "Ow!" she cried, but Severus paid
her no mind.
"Send Death Eaters!
Send You-Know-Who!
Anything that you can do
To Gryfindors!"
Severus now had the class's full attention and he began to skip around the
room as he raised his voice for the last verse of his song.
"Some day I'll land in St. Mungo's!
With all the loonies galore!
There I'll stay, tucked away
Until The Ministry prohibits
Gryfindors!"
Severus took a bow as his class gawked at him in quiet shock. Suddenly the
door to the dungeon was flung open. "There he is!" cried the Headmaster,
Albus Dumbledore, looking concerned. "Poppy, do you think you can take care
of this?"
"Of course," said Madame Pomfrey and she took Severus gently by the arm and
led him out of the room. "Come on, dear," she said. "I think you need to
lie down for a bit......"
