A/N: Hey all. So I started writing this about 2 years ago, basing this idea off of the promo/preview we had gotten for 15x18 after 15x17 aired. I took some guesses on Cas' confession/Empty deal (which was being heavily speculated at the time), how the bloody handprint ended up on Dean's jacket (though we knew it had to be something to do with Cas because it was thee handprint spot), Billie trying to break down the door, Cas helping Dean move, how things mentioned/that had taken place in 15x17 would play out, etc. I started writing it on the very day 15x18 was going to air and got about 80% through it before the episode premiered. Once I saw it though, I was completely blown away (what a freaking amazing episode!) and then had trouble picking this back up once I saw the finale to the series and where our beloved characters ended up. So it took 2 years to get me to put in that last 20% but I wanted to complete it and put it up on this very special anniversary. ;) Hope it's okay.
Songs I listened to while writing: The Night We Met by Lord Huron & Saturn by Sleeping At Last
It's unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. My beta has this and will be going through it. When they're done, I will update the post. As always, a huge thank you to them. They always make anything I write one hundred times better and they gave me the kick in the ass I needed to get this done. x3
In one second, it was all over. With a snap of Chuck's fingers, Dean came to, rapidly blinking his eyes, and trying to make sense of his surroundings.
He was in...the bunker. But there was no blood on the floor, no marks on the walls from Billie's scythe, no wreckage from the havoc the cosmic entities had wrought upon their home in their bid for ultimate power.
He was still in Room 7B, the etchings and paint of the large devil's trap on the floor still intact. He quickly scanned the space but he was alone. No dead Jack on the floor, no bleeding and mortally injured Sam…
"Sam?"
When no response came, he struggled to get to his feet, his side still hurting him from where Billie had thrown him against that wall. "Sammy?" He yelled out.
Still nothing.
Dean cautiously made his way to the closed door, the closed door that had been mysteriously resurrected from its destruction moments earlier, steeling himself for whatever he might find on the other side, and opened it.
The hallway was empty and again, there were no signs anywhere that an extraordinary final battle had taken place here. Confused but more worried, Dean trudged on. "Sam?"
Holding onto his side, he forced himself up one step to peer into the map room. No one was there.
"Sam?" He called once more. And again, only silence answered him.
He slowly made his way to the map table, glancing this way and that. To say he was worried didn't quite cover it. The last time he saw his younger brother, Sam had been bleeding out on the floor after trying to save Jack and failing miserably. Where the hell had he gone? Who had taken him? And why did everything look Spic and Span all of a sudden?
Fear swam through him the longer the silence stretched on. Fear that suddenly turned into anger. "Chuck, you dick! What the hell did you do? Where's my brother?" When no reply came, his fury grew. "Answer me, you son of a bitch!"
"Dean?"
Dean whipped around so fast it hurt. There, standing before him, was one of the very people who shouldn't be, not after what he saw happen. "Jack?"
Jack's eyes softened and he slowly approached the older man. "Are you…?" Not quite finishing his question, Jack warily lifted his arms to enfold Dean in a hug. When the latter didn't pull away, too shocked to move, Jack tightened his embrace. "It is you."
At Jack's heartfelt whisper, Dean allowed himself to relax a tiny bit and brought an arm up to return the hug. "Hey, kid," he ground out. When Jack's arms tightened even further, Dean let out a pained gasp which forced the younger man to withdraw immediately in concern.
"You're hurt."
Dean hunched over slightly, using the back of the chair next to them to hold himself up for a moment. "It's nothing." His face contorted into a pained grimace that was then smoothed out in relief, and he waved a hand dismissively. "Just a leftover from that crazy bitch." He turned his gaze onto a worried but confused looking Jack. "Kid, how are you here right now? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you. Really glad. But...how the hell are you standing here right now, talking to me? Last I saw, you were out for the count. Permanently."
Jack's brows furrowed further. "I'm not...sure." At Dean's dubious expression, Jack thought about it some more. "I know I died when Adam's rib caused my insides to implode. But, after that...I don't know, I just woke up here...in my room, in my bed. I'm not sure how." He looked to Dean for answers, answers that Dean didn't have, that he truthfully had never had but he and Sam had tried their best to give once Jack appeared on the scene and became something more than just the next monster they would have to face off against and conquer to keep the world spinning like usual.
Dean tried to think of something to say, anything to say, but he couldn't. He was overwhelmed, hurt, and worried as all hell about his dying brother whom he had yet to find since coming to.
"Am I dead? Am I...a ghost?"
Dean's eyes snapped to Jack, seeing the kid's confusion morph into sadness at the thought. This...this Dean could answer. Even if he couldn't explain it. "You're not a ghost, kid. If you were, you'd look dead and you look fine to me." A small smile started to form on Jack's young face and his eyes lightened with a trace amount of hope and gratitude. It was true, Jack looked perfectly healthy and alive. Encouraged by the reassurance making its way into the kid's expression, Dean continued, "Besides, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be feeling this," he inclined his head towards his aching side. "If we were."
The right side of Jack's mouth tipped up as he mulled over it and decided Dean was right. "Where are we then? Where's Sam?" He glanced around, expecting his dad to pop out of somewhere like Dean had just done. "And Cas?"
Dean's eyes shut at the mention of the angel who had been dragged away by The Empty as he watched in horror, helpless to do anything to stop it. He could still hear Chuck's smug chuckle as it happened, his eyes bright with a giddy pleasure that Dean wishes he could watch drain away when they can work out just how to kill him. He tamped the pain back down, unable to remember Cas' tear-filled blue eyes staring into his own as a soft smile formed on the angel's face at the words Dean had just spoken to him, before a deep blackness started to consume his being. He forced away the image of two shining blue lights in a sea of darkness being snuffed out by a final wave of black before it all disappeared. He couldn't think about that, not yet. Instead, he focused on Sam. Where was Sam?
"He…" He couldn't bring himself to say the words, to tell their kid that one of his fathers was gone, the angel who Dean... "I don't know where Sam is," Dean choked out instead. "We've got to find him, Jack. Sam was hurt...pretty bad."
Jack gave a stout nod and proceeded to make his way into the library, intent on finding Sam. Dean followed a little slower than he would have liked, due to the pain he was still in, but he was grateful at Jack's speed and persistence.
They checked everywhere: the library, the kitchen, Sam's room, the infirmary, the shower room, the garage...he was nowhere to be found. Dean's fear now increased to full out alarm.
Jack stopped short in the hallway, forcing Dean to come to a stop behind him, and closed his eyes.
Dean watched him for a moment. "Kid?"
Jack's jaw tightened. "I can't sense him. I thought I might be able to but…" He slowly opened his eyes, looking upon Dean sadly. "My powers," He warily lifted his hands, examining them closely. "They're not what they used to be." His gaze snapped to Dean fearfully.
Dean swallowed down the same worry he saw staring back at him, and gave him a sorry excuse of a smile. "It's okay, kid. We'll find Sam and we'll figure it out. Like we always do."
Jack seemed unconvinced but gave a dutiful nod. Dean himself was starting to wonder if maybe he had spoken too quickly on the whole being dead thing earlier. Then again, if he and Jack were dead, and Sam wasn't here, did that mean Sam was...alive?
Dean's body made its loud protestation to the thought and he couldn't help but let a pained groan escape. Jack caught him before he collapsed and wound Dean's arm carefully around his shoulders. "Jack, I'm good," he gruffly insisted.
"No, you're not," Jack determined.
Not having the energy to argue, he allowed Jack to help him back to the map room where the kid gingerly lowered him into a chair. He tried not to grumble too much, being truly appreciative of the nephilim's assistance. He slowly lifted his shirt and as he studied his rapidly darkening skin, Jack crouched down to get a better look. "That looks bad," Jack murmured worriedly, holding a hand above the massively bruised area that was turning sickening shades of a mixture of colors that Dean never wanted to see but was all too familiar with. "I wish I could heal you." Jack then lowered his hand to study it, willing it to give him the answers he wanted. "Why can't I heal you?"
Dean took one more glance at his injured side and lowered his shirt. "It's alright. It's just a few broken ribs. I've had 'em before. It ain't no big thing."
Jack appeared unsure but kept his doubts to himself. He got to his feet and vanished down the hall before Dean could utter a single word to stop him.
"Hey, kid, where are you going?" He yelled once Jack disappeared. After everything that happened, Dean was determined to keep him close. They still needed to talk about what happened before Billie showed up, to set some things straight, but he'd be damned if he let the kid out of his sight again, especially after watching what happened to him and knowing he was responsible. Jack had only wanted his forgiveness and to save the world, to save his family, a family that Dean had begrudgingly welcomed him into and then excommunicated him from in the span of a single year. Dean knew better now, he had let his fear rule him, just as Chuck had wanted, and he had nearly given that bastard his ending. He was grateful that at the last second, he hadn't, and that had been because of Sam. Sam…
Before he could think further on it, Jack reappeared with a bag of ice in his hand. Without waiting for permission, Jack crouched down, lifted Dean's shirt, and gently applied the ice to the swollen skin, earning a loud gasp and pained hiss from Dean. "Sorry," Jack whispered.
Dean noticed the brown bottle Jack had placed down on the table before him and gently reached for it, giving the kid a pained smile. "You're forgiven." Realizing his words too late, his green eyes snapped to the light blue gaze immediately on him, a sad and soft yearning there that Dean had seen far too often.
Dean looked back down at the bottle, unable to deal with that just yet. He knew they needed to, it was only fair to have that conversation especially after what Jack sacrificed for them, no matter how much Dean had wanted to avoid it in the past. He remembered how he had told Sam in the next room how Jack wasn't family, how Jack had heard him… Dean would never forgive himself for that. Chuck's ending or not...there was no excuse. Like Sam said, they didn't give up on family, and he had. And he was ashamed of it. Jack deserved better from him, Sam did, Cas… Cas deserved everything… They all deserved better from him.
Forcing himself to take a swig of the familiar carbonated liquid that burned the back of his throat as it went down, made Dean feel a little more settled, as settled as he could be after everything that just occurred and in these circumstances. He clapped Jack's shoulder and gave him a grateful nod. "Thanks, kid."
A thin-lipped smile made its way onto Jack's face and he moved to focus once again on Dean's injury.
Dean debated whether or not to say the words on the tip of his tongue, the words that had wanted out the moment they figured out they were being manipulated into giving that dick Chuck his ending. He contemplated the consequences and ultimately decided the hell with them. They might not have long now, wherever they were, dead or alive, before Chuck chose to end them for good, or worse screw with them some more. Cas had insisted they were real, that they were making up their own story as they went, despite Chuck's interference and manipulations. Dean knew what meant most to him, what he wanted desperately to be real, and it was time he took back what was his, what he knew deep in his soul that mattered to him. That he couldn't function without.
"You are, you know," Dean murmured.
Jack turned an inquisitive gaze on him, his brows furrowing.
Dean studied him, thinking back to that last day of Jack's life before he had died the first time. Jack had been so happy, at peace, spending time with him. He remembered the words the kid had said when he took him fishing. That had never been Chuck. That moment...that moment was real. "You're family."
Jack froze and Dean could see that same emotion from earlier making its presence known once again in his eyes.
"And I'm sorry that I said otherwise. That I..." The words that had been wanting to escape now suddenly caught in his throat and caused his eyes to start burning. "I'm just sorry," he choked out. "You're family." He swallowed the emotion back down and leveled his gaze at Jack, his meaning clear. "And you always have been."
The small smile of understanding that answered his declaration, the lightening of Jack's brow as if a portion of a heavy weight was being lifted, was enough to make Dean soften slightly...just slightly. "I know," Jack stated, his smile widening.
Dean watched him for a moment, surprised at Jack's acceptance of his apology and heartfelt declaration, and then gave him as much of a proud smile as he could muster. He lifted his free hand and gripped the side of Jack's head affectionately. "You're our kid. And nothing is going to change that. You hear me? Nothing."
Jack slowly nodded. Dean gave him an approving smile and released him, ruffling his hair before taking another sip of beer. Jack once again focused on Dean's broken ribs but Dean didn't miss the happy little smile curving the kid's lips up. While he wasn't one for sappy moments you tend to find in movies and tv shows, and he wasn't someone who liked to discuss his feelings all the time like freaking Dr. Phil, he was relieved and feeling a bit happier than he had since this whole thing with Chuck going darkside had begun, since even before that… As happy as he could be anyway in the wake of everything that happened: his devastation at Cas' death, the whole cosmic battle thing, Sam's mysterious disappearance, and now their unknown circumstances.
Dean took another sip of beer before taking the ice from Jack. "We've got to find Sam," he explained at Jack's worried and confused expression. A resolute nod answered him and Jack got to his feet. He was about to help Dean do the same when the bunker door slammed open up above.
"Dean?"
At the familiar yell, Dean and Jack both froze. Then Dean was on his feet, pain be damned. "Sam?"
A shocked and terrified Sam appeared at the top of the stairs, breathing hard, and his hair a wild mess. Relief flooded Dean, seeing his brother in one piece, the fatal injury he had no longer appeared to be afflicting him. It should have added to Dean's suspicion that something was obviously off here, first Jack and now Sam, but he was too thankful to see his brother alive and unharmed. "Dean, what-Jack?" Sam's jaw dropped and his eyes widened.
Jack's grin was so wide, his white teeth were showing, and he raised a hand up in greeting. "Hello."
Sam hurried down the stairs so fast that Dean was sure he must have skipped a couple. He certainly had the long legs to pull it off. Once he reached the bottom, he launched himself at Jack, grabbing him up in his arms and hugging him tightly. "I thought you died," Sam choked out.
"I did," Jack asserted, happily returning Sam's embrace. "At least...I think I did."
Sam pulled back, his brows drawn as he studied his son. "But if you did, then how…?"
"I'm not sure."
Sam gripped Jack's face. "But I saw you."
"Yeah, well, you weren't looking so hot yourself there for a second either, Sammy."
Sam's eyes snapped to Dean, a tiny smile replacing his worry and concern for a moment. He patted Jack's cheek and released him, only to pull his older brother into a hug.
Dean let out a pained curse which forced Sam to let go of him immediately, his eyes scanning Dean's body for any injuries. "What's wrong?"
Dean regained his breath and waved it off. "A few broken ribs. It's nothing."
Sam arched a dubious brow. "That's not nothing." He indicated the spot where Jack was lifting Dean's shirt and gently pressing ice with a nod.
Dean hissed when the ice made contact and grimaced. When Jack apologized again, he patted his shoulder. "It's okay, kid. I appreciate you getting the ice." He then glanced at Sam. "So, what the hell happened, Sam? We looked everywhere for you. Where the hell did you go?"
Sam watched worriedly as Jack tried to subtly heal Dean but couldn't. "I, uh...I woke up in the Impala."
"What? Why?" Dean barked out.
Sam shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine." He then met Dean's gaze head on. "I was two towns over."
Jack's head whipped up in surprise and Dean's jaw dropped. "Two towns over? What the hell?"
"Yeah," Sam scoffed and tiredly wiped a hand down his face. "Exactly. Something's off. I would say we're all dead but with broken ribs..."
"Yeah, that's what I said." After a minute, Dean cleared his throat quietly and gently moved Jack's hand away, lowering his shirt. "Well, we should put our heads together and try to figure out just what the hell is going on."
"There's no need for that."
Everyone whipped around to see Amara standing there, looking pristine in her pantsuit, the same suit Dean had seen her in before everything went to hell. He should have known his brief reunion with his family wouldn't last long. Nothing good ever did, not in his life.
Dean hobbled forward to face her, placing himself in front of Sam and Jack. He ignored Sam's quiet call for him and glared at the woman across the room. "What the hell do you want?"
Amara's smile slowly faded and was replaced by slight contempt. "A thank you might be nice for starters."
Dean scoffed. "A thank you? After what you and your dick brother did? You've got to be freaking kidding me."
Amara arched an eyebrow. "I had nothing to do with that."
"You had everything to do with it!" Dean yelled furiously.
Sam stepped closer to his brother. "Dean," he warned, trying to get his attention.
Amara tilted her head curiously, studied Dean for a moment, and then started to walk toward the three of them. Sam grabbed Jack and pushed his son behind him protectively. At the same time, he gripped Dean's arm and urged him to move backwards. Dean allowed it but never took his eyes off of the advancing cosmic being in front of them.
Amara's dark eyes flickered to Sam. "There's no point in running, Sam. You're not fast enough. Especially not with Dean in his current condition."
Sam's jaw tightened and he sent her a fresh glare from behind Dean's shoulder, gripping his brother's arm tighter. "We'll see."
An amused smile formed on Amara's face as she slowly shook her head, watching them curiously. "I admire your bravery and your loyalty. Your willingness to sacrifice yourselves for each other. You choose family time and time again, even when it means your very end."
Dean straightened up as much as he could, and turned back to Sam. "Get the kid out of here. Take Baby and keep on driving. Don't stop until you hit the ocean."
Sam's eyes flickered to his and he frowned. "I'm not leaving you here."
"You don't have a choice," Dean snapped. "Take Jack and go. I'm not going to tell you again."
Sam had been in such a tense standoff with his brother that he was caught off guard when Jack broke away and strode past them to Amara. "Jack!" Sam and Dean both yelled for him to stop but he ignored both of them.
Jack stopped a few feet away from the woman who by all intents and purposes was his great aunt. She watched him with a sliver of curiosity but said nothing. "How are you alive? How am I alive? Where's Billie? Where's Chuck? Why are you still here? Why can't you just stop and leave us alone? Why can't you let this world be? Why do you keep hurting my family?" His voice got louder and louder with each question but Amara didn't shrink back one bit. Instead, she just continued to study him.
"Jack!" Jack's eyes snapped over to the two brothers at Sam's yell. They both had moved closer and Dean held out a hand, gesturing for him to join them. "It's okay, kid. We'll figure it all out. Just come over here."
Jack shook his head, making both of their eyes widen in horror. "If I had my powers still, I could destroy her. I could end this. I could end Chuck. And then you would be safe. You would all be safe."
"Jack, that's not-"
"But you wouldn't be," Sam interrupted Dean. "That's not what I want. That's not what either of us want. That's not what Cas wants."
As expected, Sam's words hit home and Jack's eyes began to soften. Dean stared at his brother, the truth hitting deep down and causing the pain to swell up and drown him from the inside out.
The loud bangs of the door sounded throughout the room, a constant reminder that Death wanted in, that she would get in and receive everything she felt was owed to her, namely their permanent deaths.
Jack had died by imploding earlier, unfortunately not causing quite the reaction they had hoped for. Chuck and by extension, Amara, were still alive and well. Sam had tried to save Jack and he had received a scythe to the chest for the effort. It hadn't killed him immediately despite the severity of the wound but Dean was pretty sure that Billie had intended for it to be that way. As much as she wanted them dead, Dean knew she also longed to see them suffer, especially since they had ruined her carefully planned takeover, possibly even since Cas' angel blade had sliced into her chest. The minute they chose to avert Chuck's ending, the second they chose to attempt to save Jack instead of sacrifice him, Billie had been on them. Chuck had simply laughed and told Billie to have at it, and then gave her a menacing smile, promising she'd see him later, before he popped out, giving them a giddy wave.
Dean had yelled for Sam when the scythe cut through his brother like butter and had rushed towards them. Billie knocked Dean back into one of the concrete walls and considering how his body had made the impact, he was now on the injured list. Cas somehow not only moved Jack's body and Sam into Room 7B but he also helped Dean get inside before Billie could get them. They had planned for contingencies, of course, and they had warded the room in preparation for anything that came at them, before Jack and Dean had gone to see Adam. Thankfully, that prevented Death from entering right that very moment, but it would only hold so long.
Cas had turned to Dean, seeing the desolation and fear on his face as he stared down at his bloodied younger brother. "You're hurt, let me heal you."
Dean waved him away. "Don't worry about me. Heal Sam."
Cas grimaced and glanced at Sam. The man, his good friend for these past twelve years, was not long for this life. He had already tried to heal him but whether it was due to his failing grace or the power of the tool of Death being the one to cause the mortal wound, the angel couldn't be sure, he was unable to. He had failed Sam, he had failed Jack, he had failed them all…
"I tried but I can't heal him. I'm sorry. I truly am. Dean, your injury I can do something about. Please, let me heal you."
Dean's eyes slowly lifted to Cas, empty and full of a deep consuming sorrow. One tiny tear escaped and made a slow trek down his cheek. "No point. We'll all be dead in a few minutes anyway." He swung his head back to Sam. "We lost, Cas. Chuck won and we lost," his voice broke at the end.
Cas gripped Dean's shoulder and forced him to meet his gaze. "We haven't lost yet. Not completely."
Dean stared down at Cas' hand for a moment, seeing Sam's blood transferring from Cas' hand to his jacket. He glanced back up at the angel and laid his hand on the arm that was currently keeping him from shattering to the floor in a million tiny pieces. The staccato of bangs started registering for him again, and this time they sounded shorter and deeper. "Won't be long now. Besides, I'm not leaving him." He spared a tearful glance down at his dying brother. He then took a breath and buried his fingers into the sleeve of Cas' trench coat, meeting the pained blue gaze watching him. "Thank you, Cas. For getting me out of Hell, for helping us and looking out for Sammy, for being there. For all of it. You've been the best friend we've ever had and I'm damn grateful. We couldn't have done all of this without you. You know that, right?"
Cas' lower lip trembled slightly and he looked away to gain his bearings, contemplating a decision to do something that he wasn't sure Dean would ever forgive him for.
"So, thank you," Dean ground out and patted Cas' arm before wiping his face on his sleeve and sniffling. He focused on Sam and tenderly moved a lock of wayward hair from his brother's pale face. Another bang sounded so loudly they nearly both jumped. Dean gave Sam a sad smile and rushed out, "You should get out of here, man, if you can. She's after us, not you. Get out of here and go find a way to bring Jack back, stop Chuck, and live your damn life."
Cas' hand gripped Dean's shoulder tighter. "I'm not leaving you here to die, Dean."
"Cas," Dean's eyes snapped up to meet Castiel's, surprising him with the amount of tenderness and affection he saw there, rather than the anger and commanding authority he expected. "I'm asking you to go. Sam and I, we're not walking away from this. But you...you still have a shot."
Cas held his gaze a moment longer and murmured, "There is no shot without you, Dean." As Dean's surprise lightened his green eyes, Cas stated, "I'm not leaving."
Both men continued to study one another, seeking answers from each other's expressions, until Dean gently laid a hand on Cas' arm once again. "Cas," Dean started, his voice still rough. He licked his lips nervously and tightened his grip on him. "You didn't let me finish before when I tried to… There's something I need to say."
Cas immediately knew where this was going and attempted to shut it down, like he had before. He wasn't ready for his life to come to a screeching halt, not yet, not before he could tell Dean what he ached to tell him for the longest time now, not before he could save his life. "Dean, you don't have to say it. I-"
"Dammit, Cas. I'm going to die in a minute. Just let me get this out," Dean huffed out a laugh of disbelief. "Please."
Cas warred with himself internally, seeing Dean's eyes pleading with him, knowing this wasn't easy for the man he had rescued from Hell all those years ago to get out, never mind admit to himself. His love and affection for the man who had his arm in a death grip, as if he was afraid he would disappear, won out. He gave Dean a somber nod to continue.
Another bang shook the room. Billie was nearly through.
"I want you to know that I… I haven't always…" Cas patiently gave him what little time he had to find the right words. He hadn't known just how deeply he yearned to hear them from this particular human he had been watching over and fighting side by side with for years.
Another loud bang. This time, the hinges on the door groaned. They had a matter of seconds.
Dean ran his tongue along his bottom lip and hurriedly tried again. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize just how much I-"
Cas could hear Billie rearing her arm back outside the door, ready to land the final blows on the wood before her. As much as it broke his heart to do it, he had to put Dean's safety first. He always had, even above his own. He wasn't about to break that stride now, even if it meant his very own life would now end. He lifted his free hand and placed it against Dean's cheek, stopping him mid-sentence and making his eyes widen. "I know," Cas assured him. "You don't have to say it. I know." He saw Dean's shock emerge as his words began to register. "Dean, I need you to listen to me...there is another way."
Dean's brows began to furrow. "How?"
"You won't like it." Cas gave him a nod and stood, helping Dean to do the same. He stepped back a few feet, putting some distance between them, and he faced the direction of the door. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I really am. But, I made a deal."
Dean froze for a moment and then yelled out, "A deal? What the hell are you talking about, Cas?"
Cas turned a sad expression onto Dean. "Not a demon deal. With The Empty, to save Jack. When we were in Heaven, it came for him… It was the only way to save him."
"What?" So many emotions flickered over Dean's face that the angel had trouble keeping track of each one, even after all of these years. The final ones he could make out were anger, and more importantly, fear. "Why the hell didn't you tell us?"
"You know why," Cas murmured, coming close to Dean again, unable to keep away for too long. He placed his palm against Dean's cheek once more, his eyes starting to glisten slightly. "This is what I have to do. If The Empty comes for me now, it may distract Billie long enough for you to run. From what Sam said, The Empty isn't happy with her right now. This will buy you some time."
"What? No. I told you, I'm not leaving Sam. I- Dammit, Cas, no. No!"
Cas gripped him tighter, pleading with him to listen. With Cas' sharp vision, he could see Billie through the cracks of the mostly damaged door. He was surprised it was still somehow standing but at the same time, grateful. He needed to get these last words out. "It's the only way. You get out of here and you find a way to stop Chuck. This is real, Dean. Chuck was never in control. Not when it comes to us. Don't lose sight of that. For all of us. For Jack, for Sam, for...for me."
Another tear escaped onto Dean's cheek. "No, you can't. I just-"
Cas pulled him gently into his arms and hugged him, careful not to squeeze his injured side. "I love you," he whispered in the softest tone imaginable into Dean's ear. Dean stiffened in his arms and Cas knew he had been heard. It should be any second now…
"Don't do this," Dean choked out. "Please. I just need… We need to… It can't end like this. Not when I… Dammit, Cas, I want you to stay alive. I need you to… Don't you dare do this to me again, you son of a bitch."
Cas drew back, his eyes filled with tears, and stepped a few paces away. Dean, still in shock, thankfully made no move to follow. "You and Sam...you fought for this whole world," Cas let out in a quiet sob. "I can at least do this."
The whole room shook as if a bomb had gone off. Both men did their best to keep their footing, glancing at the door to see if Death had finally broken through. Not quite but there was no question about it, the warding sigils around the door were lit up and fading...fast.
Dean swung back to face Cas again and saw smoky black tendrils swirling around Cas' feet. Horrified realization dawned on him and Cas gave him a tearful but affectionate smile. "It's going to be okay, Dean. Remember, this is real. It always has been."
Cas watched as a new look of determination came over Dean's features as The Empty appeared, a devious grin on its features as its arm encircled his waist. Dean took a few steps closer and his jaw set in resolve. "We're coming for you. I don't care what I have to do or who I have to kill, I'm going to find a way to get you out. So you be ready, you hear me? We're coming, Cas."
Cas' smile grew but unfortunately so did The Empty's. As a tear fell down Castiel's cheek, The Empty hissed out, "Told ya," in a voice similar to Meg's but not quite hers. Dean attempted to rush them but the cosmic entity waved an arm, sending Dean flying into another wall, causing the man to cry out in the shock of pain and for Cas to yell his name. "Uh uh," Pseudo Meg told Dean, "he's mine. We had a deal after all." Dean watched helplessly as the black snakes that were The Empty encompassed Cas' entire body. Cas managed to choke out two words before he was gone forever, "Keep fighting."
Cas disappeared and Dean yelled out, "Cas!" reaching a hand across the divide as if he could somehow keep the angel there with him. The Empty smirked down at him and that was when the door exploded, allowing Billie entrance into the room. Dean pushed himself back against the wall, glad he had landed near Sam.
Death's eyes were for Dean alone until she noticed The Empty standing there, smirking at her. When neither cosmic being made a move towards the other, and The Empty gave her a nod, she then turned her full attention to the injured man below her. "He went back to where he belongs. And now," Billie raised her scythe as she stood above Dean. "So will you."
Dean gripped Sam's hand tight, clenched his jaw, and waited for the killing blow. He and Sam had talked about going out in a blaze of glory, all Butch and Sundance style. He may not have a gun in his hand, but he sure as hell wasn't about to cower in the corner. Not for anyone, but certainly not for this bitch. He would face this head on, like he always had, like he had always planned for when he finally bit it.
What happened next, Dean couldn't be too sure of. A tendril of black grasped Billie's wrist and twirled her to meet The Empty head on. Chuck was suddenly there, watching in glee as his creations, his toys, were about to be broken for the final time. Suddenly, his expression changed, morphed into something of sadness and...regret? And then he snapped his fingers, and that was the last thing Dean remembered.
Dean turned to face Amara and Jack, with the former still watching the latter curiously. He didn't hear Sam's pleas or Jack's impassioned and determined responses. He was only focused on one particular detail.
"It was you, wasn't it?" Dean asked quietly.
All eyes snapped to him and Amara smiled slightly but stayed quiet.
"What?" Sam looked as confused as Jack.
Dean took a few steps forward, waving Sam off. "You stopped it all, didn't you?" Still no response. "Why?"
Amara thought it over for a moment. "I told you from the beginning, Dean. I can't hurt you anymore than you can hurt me. Though you have disappointed me, setting me up for my own death and all."
Dean's gaze dropped to the ground and he felt guilt trying to take hold of him. But when he glanced back up at her, Amara could see the resolve in his eyes. "It's not something I wanted but if you and your brother were a package deal, it had to be done," he admitted unapologetically.
Jack's eyes volleyed back and forth between them, narrowed in confusion.
When Dean's expression didn't falter one bit, Amara nodded and let out a sigh. "I suppose I understand. Though I am still disappointed."
Dean let out a gruff, "Sorry."
Amara smirked. "No, you're not, but I can...appreciate what you're trying to protect. Besides, I suppose many don't often hear that word from the great Dean Winchester now do they?"
Dean's expression stayed the same, once again unapologetically himself.
Sam appeared next to Dean. "Wait, if you're here, then where's Chuck?"
Amara regarded him for a moment. "He's here as well." All three men tensed at the revelation and Amara rolled her eyes. "He's not roaming the halls. He's here, with me." She placed a hand over her chest.
"You mean he's a part of you, that you consumed him?" At Amara's nod, Sam's brows scrunched in puzzlement. "How is that even possible? I thought he consumed you."
Amara slowly moved away from them, keeping her eye on all three, until she reached the table where Dean's beer bottle sat. Sam grabbed Jack, and Dean watched her suspiciously. Amara sat on the table, crossed one leg over the other, and took a sip. She let out a satisfied breath and regarded them carefully. "He did."
They waited for her to speak and when she didn't, Dean and Sam exchanged skeptical expressions. "And?" Dean asked impatiently.
Amara took another sip and gave an uncaring shrug. "I needed time to figure him out, from the inside. He really wanted a true balance between us, with him on the more powerful side of the scales of course. But, here's the thing, when you cage or consume a cosmic being, it can only be for so long. As you mentioned, Dean, we're a package deal. As you already know, if one of us dies, the universe is thrown into chaos. If we both die, then no chaos. Not the kind of chaos you would expect, anyway."
Jack stepped up to Dean's right shoulder. "How did you get out?"
Amara gave him a soft smile and an approving nod. "He's a lot like you, Dean. I like that."
Dean glanced towards Jack who stared up at him sheepishly. A smug smirk lifted the corners of Dean's mouth and he turned back to Amara. "Like the kid said, how did you get free from the dickbag?" Out of the corner of his eye, Dean noticed the small smile form on Jack's face and the curious relief wash over Sam's.
Amara tapped her nails against the bottle. "Do you remember what bonded us, Dean?"
Dean gave her a short nod. "The mark. What about it?"
Amara smiled and placed the bottle down. She gently moved aside her jacket and blouse to show the familiar mark still present on her skin. "This is what imprisoned me for millennia."
Sam scoffed. "Yeah, we know that part. What does that have to do with Chuck?"
Amara narrowed her eyes angrily and Jack took a step forward, standing next to Sam. Dean watched the movement with an almost parental pride. He was once again reminded of his mistake claiming that Jack wasn't family; Jack was a Winchester through and through.
"It has everything to do with my brother." She waited a moment, then apparently let Sam's interruption go, and once again settled her eyes on Dean. "It keeps me free, it's what keeps us bonded. But for him, it has managed to keep him imprisoned…"
All of their eyes began to widen in surprise as her meaning dawned on them.
"Within me," she finished.
Sam and Jack looked to Dean who shook his head as if to clear it. "Wait, so you're telling me, Chuck is in a cage...in you?" Amara nodded, her smile widening as Dean let out a laugh in surprise. "How the hell is that even possible?"
She tilted her head. "I told you, I needed time to work it out. From within him."
Dean once again shook his head, this time in bewilderment. "So you turned the mark and the cage he made for you against him." At the lack of response, Dean laughed again. "That's just freaking perfect. The bastard deserves nothing more."
Amara's eyes saddened but she nodded in agreement.
"Wait, hold up a second, Dean. Amara, you said that cosmic beings can't be held for long. And as glad as I am to hear that he's trapped, how long will that last?" At Amara's annoyed expression, Sam held up his hands placatingly. "I mean, he couldn't hold you for long. What if he does the same to you? What if he figures you out from the inside, too, or whatever?"
"Really, Sam? You couldn't give me one moment to enjoy the idea?" Sam glanced over worriedly but saw Dean's exasperated but amused expression staring back at him.
Sam gave his brother a sheepish shrug. "We have to know, Dean. If Chuck breaks free, this will only start all over again."
Amara swung her foot in a slow circle as she spoke. "As for right now, the way I've worked it, due to the mark, that won't be possible. At least not for a very long time." At Sam's disbelieving frown, she stated, "We're talking millennia here. Look at how long it took me to get out of my cage where the mark was concerned. Chuck in his egomania never considered that the mark might not be the best thing for him when he consumed me. It will be a very long time before he can come up for air. Not unless I allow it. Perks of being a cosmic being."
Dean studied her worriedly. "Won't he keep trying to break out, though?" Amara's eyes snapped to his. "When I had Michael in my head, he fought to break out all the time and it was rough. But he was just an Archangel. I can't imagine having Chuck inside there for even a day and you're talking years." Just thinking about it was starting to give Dean another headache.
"We're a little different that way, Dean." Amara smiled warmly at him. "Besides, this gives me time to speak with him, work with him, show him the value of this world. Neither of us have to die and the world can continue on as it should."
"You mean...now you're God?" Jack asked.
Amara considered this carefully.
Dean arched an eyebrow. "You've got him trapped deep down inside of you now. Probably planning all of his little shows that he wants on some cosmic Netflix when he's out again. Are you sure you're up for the job?"
Amara's smile grew bigger. "I never imagined I would...but I think I might want to stick around, maybe take more of this all in. I've never created anything before," she finished in a whisper.
After a minute, Jack asked, "What about Billie? And The Empty?"
"Back where they both belong," Amara nearly growled. "My brother was right about one thing, Death may have our death books and we may be reaped someday, but he did create space and time. The fact that they thought they could make a play for us…" Her eyes snapped to Jack's. "Let's just say that Billie has been demoted."
"Demoted?" Was it possible Dean never had to worry about her coming for him or Sam? Ever again?
Amara nodded. "She's been laid to rest in The Empty and a new Death has taken the helm."
Sam frowned. "A new Death?"
"Yes, I believe you know her, Dean. Tessa?"
Shock and surprise colored Sam and Dean's expressions as they exchanged glances.
"I remembered her from your memories." At Dean's wide eyes, she explained, "From our bond. I decided that she needed a new purpose, easing the physical suffering of those in the world the only way death can."
Dean thought it over and then gave a little smile, nodding. "She'll make a good one." With that new purpose Amara talked about, after his time with Tessa during that deal with the first Death, he couldn't imagine a better candidate.
"I agree." Amara got to her feet and smoothed down her jacket.
"Thank you." All eyes turned to Dean and he had a forced smile on his face but his eyes were genuine in their gratitude. "You didn't have to help us but you did. So...thank you."
Amara strode over to him. "I told you, Dean. You and I will always help each other."
Nodding, Dean licked his lips nervously. "I have to ask, just one thing. If Tessa is back… Is there a way I can get into The Empty? To bring back someone who was sent there?" He ignored the question in Sam's gaze, and the realization and sadness in Jack's.
Amara laid a hand against his cheek, studying him. "I'm sorry, Dean. You can't. It's outside of space and time. There is no way. Not even I can."
"But you just said you got Tessa out. Why can't-"
"When I sent Billie and The Empty back there, I could only keep the door open long enough to locate the ones I needed and get them out. Any longer and it would have been too much of a risk. My brother and I truly have no power over that place."
Dean felt the ache in his chest consume him and he gave a broken nod, dropping his eyes to the floor so she wouldn't see the tears trying to build there.
Amara lowered her hand to hover above his chest. "There isn't anyone there you need to bring back, Dean."
Dean's head snapped up and his eyes tightened in defiance of those words. "Yes, there is," he bit out. "And if you can't help me, I'll find another way to break in."
She smiled softly. "Dean, I've thought over our conversation from that deli quite a bit. You know why I had brought Mary back, that I tried to free you from your anger. I wanted to give you something you needed, something I thought you needed. But now I see...that what you really needed has been here all along, hasn't it?"
Dean's brows furrowed, wondering just where she was going with this. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and maintained his unflinching gaze, listening.
Amara smiled though her eyes became slightly saddened. "Had you not given me what I needed back when I was bent on revenge and destruction, I would have never seen how truly precious this world is. I would have never seen the fragile beauty that surrounds this place every moment of every day. As I told you that night, I tried to free you from your anger, to help you to accept the present and to realize this beautiful reality, while sometimes tragic, is better than any idealized fantasy that you could wish for. Because this, right now, is not my brother's ending. Dean, this is real and real is always better." She snapped her fingers, making all three men tense.
They waited but when nothing happened, Dean turned to her with a quizzical expression. As Dean opened his mouth to ask her what the hell that had to do with getting into The Empty, a word spoken behind them made him freeze in shock.
"Dean."
Dean whipped around in shock and there stood Cas, his trench coat and attire the same as Dean had last seen him, smiling widely, his blue eyes soft and glistening.
"Cas," Jack nearly whispered. Sam was just as surprised as the kid. His hazel eyes immediately darted over to Dean who was still staring at Cas as if he were a mirage that he was afraid would disappear should he blink.
Dean didn't remember commanding his feet to move. It was almost as if the moment that Cas appeared, his body felt a strong pull, tugging him in the angel's direction, and he just had to get closer. "Cas?" He choked out in disbelief, his eyes filling the moment he was less than three steps away from what was on the end of that impossible force.
"Hello, Dean." Cas' timid smile widened and his gaze grew glassier.
Dean let out a sharp breath and launched himself at Cas, wrapping his arms around his friend and crushing him tightly to him. He ignored the screaming pain in his side, biting his lip until it practically bled and tears began to blur his vision. He wasn't letting go, not for anything. Cas returned the embrace and let out a soft sob into Dean's jacket. Dean squeezed his eyes shut in relief for a brief moment, forcing tears out which he subtly wiped away, and then pulled back enough to press a rough kiss to the side of Cas' dark head before gripping him tightly once more.
"Don't you ever do that again," Dean whispered gruffly into Cas' ear. "You hear me? I mean it, I can't lose you again, Cas."
Cas' fingers dug into Dean's shoulders and he gave a short nod.
"And…" Dean swallowed, intent on nothing stopping him from saying what he had been wanting to say ever since he realized just how much his best friend mattered to him, how much he truly needed him. "Me, too, Cas," he whispered into the angel's ear. "I love you, too." Feeling Cas's fingers dig further into his shoulders at the declaration, Dean pulled back slightly and grabbed Cas' head in between his hands, meeting the wet blue gaze head on. "And I'm sorry it took me so long to say it."
Another tear rolled down Cas' cheek but his smile was the brightest Dean had ever seen it, even more than the few moments he could elicit an amused chuckle or pleased grin out of him in the past, more than when Cas had declared his love for him and reached his true moment of happiness earlier. Dean realized, staring at the angel who had become the friend that knew him better than he knew himself, had joined his family, and had fought by his side for twelve long years, that this smile was his new favorite. He could stare at it for days, it was that mesmerizing. But most of all, he loved the wearer of this smile.
Jack and Sam were at their side in an instant. Dean pulled back enough to give them room, but kept his fingers buried in the back of Cas' coat, unwilling to let go until he was convinced his best friend wouldn't disappear. Jack eagerly threw his arms around Cas who heartily returned his embrace.
Sam laid a hand on the angel's shoulder and squeezed which was responded to with an affectionate smile from Cas. "Glad to have you back."
"It's good to be back," Cas agreed. "And I'm glad to see you're healed and doing well."
"You were in The Empty." Jack's face saddened with realization. "Because of the deal you made to save me?"
Cas nodded but smiled softly at Jack, pulling him in for another hug. "A deal I don't regret making and I would do it again if it kept you safe."
The corner of Jack's lips began to tip up in the corner and he tightened his hold on Cas. "I'm happy you're back, Cas."
Cas' smile grew wider and he closed his eyes, reveling in this moment with his son.
Sam's eyes met Dean's over the other two's heads and they both shared a nod. Everything was back to how it should be.
When Dean saw Sam's gaze flicker behind him and his features tense, Dean turned around to find Amara standing a few feet away, studying their group intently. The woman's hazel eyes slowly ran over them and ended on Dean himself.
Dean exchanged quick glances with his brother, and at Sam's nod and him moving even closer to Cas and Jack in a protective stance which caught the latter two's attention, he stepped towards Amara and gave her his full attention. "Alright, so you brought him back. And you brought Jack back, Sam… You saved us, saved the world. So, what's the catch?"
Amara's brow scrunched up. "Catch?"
Dean gave her a look. "Why did you do it?"
"I told you, I—"
"That's a load of crap," Dean cut her off. "Nothing like that comes for free." Realization played upon Amara's beautiful features and her eyes sharply focused on him. "I get the whole caging Chuck thing and I'm glad you did it. The bastard deserves it after everything he did. But why did you get Cas out of The Empty? Like you said, it was no easy feat. And what's more, why did you bring Sam back? Or Jack? Did you purposely set this up so we'd be in your debt? So you could call in a favor? So if you whistled we'd come running? Because that is not happening. So if that's why, you'd better think again, lady." When she didn't answer him right away, Dean then spoke through clenched teeth. "What is it that you want?"
Amara straightened her spine and crossed her arms. "There is no catch, Dean."
Dean scoffed. "There's always a catch."
She considered that for a moment but then spoke again. "Perhaps," she agreed. "But that is not the case here." At Dean's disbelief, she continued. "I told you before, we're connected. We always will be. I can't hurt you anymore than you can hurt me and what's more, I don't want to hurt you. I never have. I have only ever wanted to help you." Amara lifted a gentle hand to Dean's cheek which made the man shrink back slightly, warily watching her as she pursued the touch until her fingers made contact with his skin. He saw a tender smile form on her face when he didn't pull away. "I have always told you that we will help each other, and that's true. But not in the way you're thinking. I'm not doing this to gain a favor or keep you in my debt. I'm doing what I told you I wanted to do back in that deli."
Dean's brows furrowed in confusion and his eyes were shadowed by an obvious distrust that he didn't care if Amara could see or not.
"I thought your mother was what you needed and that's why I brought her back. To free you from your anger; to show you that the reality of her was better than some age-old fantasy you had. And like I said that day, I now know I was wrong. It turns out that you needed something entirely different." She lowered her hand and moved her gaze past his shoulder.
Dean slowly glanced behind him to find Sam, Cas, and Jack all carefully watching them. Sam swallowed convulsively, Jack glared, and Cas watched with indifference tainted slightly by worry. He swung his eyes back to meet Amara's.
"They're the family that you need, Dean. I understand that now."
Dean processed her words and found he couldn't deny that she was right nor did he want to. He had meant what he said to his dad a while back; he had a family. One he would fight to keep together, no matter what it took. Just like his dad had, though he would…be different. Yes, he would do it all differently. Jack, Sam, Cas…they all deserved better. And better is what they would get. He wasn't perfect by any means, but his family knew that and loved him anyway.
Cas had been right; they were real. And as Amara kept reminding him, reality was far better than any fantasy. It stunned him for a moment to let those words travel through his brain: love, real. He knew Sammy loved him, Jack even, but Cas…Cas indeed loved him. He had said it right before he got taken by The Empty. Cas could have chosen any words to say for his impromptu deathbed speech, but he had chosen those three specific ones, and for Dean alone. A warmth started to suffuse his chest when the word 'real' repeated itself over and over in his head. This was real and he could have it. He never thought he could, especially after Lisa and Ben, but here it was, right in front of him. Maybe not in the exact way he had fantasized about for years, but it was here all the same and it was all his. Reality was indeed better than any fantasy he could have cooked up. He wouldn't trade his brother, his son, or his…his angel for anyone else. He didn't need some white picket fence or a wife or PTA meetings to attend in order to make him feel like his dreams came true. He had a family, a real one, and that was a dream enough for him. He nearly smiled at the thought of it. He had a family.
In the next second though, the happy thought then dropped into a pit of all-consuming dread. If all of this with Amara wasn't real, if this was some hallucination of his or a grand scheme of manipulation a la Chuck style, he had no idea what he'd do. This brought back the recent memories of how each of his family members appeared in the bunker one by one after she pulled the Thanos-snap with Billie.
His brows furrowed in concentration on one particular thought. "That's why you did it." At her confused expression, he clarified, "Sam. In the Impala two towns over. That's why."
Her puzzlement smoothed out into an understanding smile. "You needed time to talk to him. To tell him the truth." Dean chanced a glance back at Jack upon her words. His son's glare in Amara's direction softened when his eyes met Dean's. Dean's gaze dropped to the floor for a moment, shaking his head slightly in disbelief at the realization that yeah, Amara did know him better than he had ever thought. Almost eerily so. His three biggest regrets when he thought he was about to die earlier had been that he hadn't been able to save Sam, that he hadn't confirmed to Jack that he was family, and that he hadn't told Cas what he had been wanting to tell him this whole time. And now, within a matter of minutes, all three regrets had turned into opportunities for him to rectify them: Sam was alive (and safe was debatable but Dean would take it), he had apologized to Jack and made sure he knew that he was their kid, and he had told Cas that— Well, he was able to tell Cas how much he meant to him. And he still had his family.
"I told you, Dean." Dean's head whipped back around to Amara. "Reality is better than fantasy. And what you have, it's real." He was still overwhelmed by that realization, unable to say anything and wanting to really. Instead, he gave her a simple nod. He saw a slight sadness in her eyes that a moment later vanished only to be replaced by a light of determination. "It is time that I took my leave. I interrupted my vacation to help you boys the first time, and I am eager to get back to it. From what I hear, there's nothing like getting a Swedish massage in the Swiss Alps." She smirked and took a few steps back. "And before you ask, Dean, no I don't intend on pulling the strings like my brother used to. I plan to take a much more laid back approach to it all."
"So, basically, we're on our own? Like we were before?" A feeling of familiar disgust began to churn in his stomach.
She studied him for a moment. "I wouldn't say that. I'm not abandoning any of you; I'm simply in the background. Though that does remind me." She snapped her fingers quickly, making all of the men jump slightly. Dean was beyond terrified to look behind him, afraid that she had pulled the old bait and switch on him. He was working up the nerve to turn when Amara smirked over at him. "There, that should take care of everything. Now," She slipped sunglasses on that had appeared in her hands out of nowhere. "Jack, I'm still thinking it over but I may need your help if I decide to restructure things a little."
"Why should I help you?" Jack bit out from behind Dean. The older man closed his eyes and let out a breath of relief. When he felt the warmth at his shoulder from Jack, he opened his eyes quickly and grabbed at his son's wrist, attempting to pull him further behind him.
Amara didn't flinch, literally or figuratively. "Because I would think after everything we both have been through with Chuck's setup, you might want to have a say in redoing some things. Like Heaven for starters, for the souls in its keep as well as angel management. After the whole Lucifer fiasco and the low number trying to keep the lights on…it's a mess. As a matter of fact," Amara turned her gaze onto Cas. "I could also use your help in that department, Castiel. I'd appreciate a full tour and rundown of how things work up there."
Cas squared his shoulders and approached Dean's side that Jack was on, also standing in front of the younger man protectively while giving her a defiant glare. "My powers are not what they were."
"Mine either!" Jack added from behind the two men.
Amara's smirk grew. "Are you sure about that, boys?"
Dean and Cas exchanged a puzzled look as Sam approached the group near Dean's other shoulder, standing in front. "What do you mean?"
This time, Amara lowered her glasses slightly to look at all of them. "I'm saying that both of my nephews can come off of the bench. They've been there long enough. So can Dean. Now, if there's nothing else, I'd really like to get going." She pushed her glasses back into place and a handbag appeared on her arm out of nowhere, her smirk firmly in place. "I'll be in touch, boys. Toodles."
Before she could vanish, Dean called out to her. "Amara."
Her gaze snapped to his, questioning.
"Thank you," he forced out, knowing deep down that he meant it. He was grateful for her intervention and for everything she had done for his family; he just felt like he couldn't completely trust in it yet or her.
A full grin bloomed on her lips. "You're welcome. And, Dean." This was it. He tensed, waiting for the final blow, for the last rug to be pulled out from under him, the ultimate 'Aha! Gotcha!'. "Have a little faith." Dean's gaze tightened and Amara beamed at him before disappearing.
His skin broke out in goosebumps and his heart started to race when Cas grabbed his jacket and gently turned him in his direction, murmuring "Come here." Dean swallowed compulsively when the angel's blue eyes stared into his. The man would never admit it but as much as he loved Cas, and he was grateful to have him back, he wasn't sure that he was ready for things to ascend to the next level between them quite this quickly. Not when their son and Sam were watching.
But to Dean's surprise and possible dismay, Cas' eyes traveled down to his injured side instead and a shocking mix of relief and disappointment bloomed within his chest. Cas lifted his shirt slightly, intent on placing a gentle hand on his skin, when Dean's eyes bugged out of his head. "The hell?"
Where there had been mottled and splotchy skin before, now there was only smooth skin. Jack, who had been watching along with Sam, stared at it, puzzled. Cas pressed his hand to the area and for the first time since waking up, Dean didn't flinch. He felt absolutely no pain at all. He let out a sigh of relief. Thank God—er…whatever—that he wouldn't need to worry about that injury. That would have been a real bitch of a time to not only wait for the broken ribs to heal, but to still get around and fight if they needed to.
"Did she heal you?" Sam asked.
Dean shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't feel anything." He thought back to the moment she had touched his cheek. When Cas touched him to heal him, he would always feel a sort of warmth traveling through his body at the speed of light, coming to a concentrated area which was also the sight of the wound or injury. This time, he hadn't felt a thing. And he was alright with that. He wondered if Amara kept him wounded until the last second as a sort of safeguard. Not that he could have killed her, but he would have tried like hell if she had turned out to be a threat.
"I wonder…" Cas muttered. He studied his two hands carefully and Dean watched as his eyes began to glow in a familiar electric blue.
"She gave us our powers back," Jack stated in awe. One quick glance from Dean showed Jack's eyes giving off a golden glow all of their own.
"Yes, she's restored us to full strength," Cas replied, meeting his son's bright gaze with his own.
Sam gave his brother a dubious look. "Do you think she really meant what she said? About wanting to restructure Heaven?"
Dean couldn't be sure, but right now, he didn't want to waste another second thinking about her, their ordeal, or any other battles coming their way. He had his family back, all healthy and at full strength, and he'd take the win. "I don't know, Sammy, but right now, we're not focusing on that."
Sam looked unsure. "Dean, if she gave them their powers back so she could use them in some way, then—"
Dean laid a hand on his brother's shoulder and squeezed. "I get it, and we'll deal with that when the time comes. But right now, we got you back, we got Jack back, and Cas… And both of them are fully charged with angel juice. Let's just take the freaking win, man. We'll worry about all of that other crap later." Sam still seemed uncertain, but at Dean's intent gaze, he eventually sighed in capitulation.
"Okay. I still think we should make a plan, though."
Dean gave him a smile. "We will. After."
Sam's brow furrowed. "After?"
Dean's grin grew and he turned them both to face the other two members of their family who were looking at them with mirrored tilted heads in confusion. Like father, like son. "Sammy, we're going to head to the beach and we're going to stick our toes in the sand."
"Why would we stick our toes in the sand?" Cas asked.
"Because it's what we're going to do to celebrate us defeating Chuck."
"How does sticking our toes in sand at the beach indicate a celebration of victory in battle?" Dean glanced at Sam who gave him a smirk, completely leaving him on his own for this one.
"It just is," Dean decided. "Trust me on this one, Cas. So, Jack and Sam, you two go start packing up." Dean hated to let either of them out of his sight, especially after recent events, but he felt slightly better knowing that the two would be together and it would only be for a short time. "I'm going to go start packing myself. We're leaving in ten." He ignored Sam's smirk getting wider and clapped his hands. "Let's go, hustle up. The sooner we blow this place, the sooner we can get to our vacation." And the sooner they were on the road with him behind the wheel of his beloved car, the sooner Dean would be able to breathe again, no longer holding his breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"One quick question."
Dean rolled his eyes and turned to his brother. "What?"
Sam suddenly appeared nervous. "Would it be alright if… I mean, would it be okay if I invited Eileen to go with us?" He quickly stammered out.
Dean grinned and Sam rolled his eyes. He knew that his older brother would tease him for years to come over this. "That's adorable."
"Can I ask her or not?"
Dean clapped his shoulder, deciding to have mercy on him…at least until they got on the road and he had nowhere to run. And Eileen was going to be there so it would be double the fun. "Absolutely, little brother. I've told you before, I like Eileen, and I think it'd be great if she came along. We'll pick her up wherever she's at."
The relief played out on Sam's features and he relaxed slightly under Dean's hand. "Thank you," he whispered.
Dean nodded and slapped Sam's shoulder again. "Alright, let's get packed up and ready to go. If you're not here in ten, I mean it, I will leave your asses behind, so let's go." He wouldn't dare to leave them behind, never again, but he wasn't about to say that out loud at this moment. Despite his attempt at giving them a sense of urgency, Sam slowly made his way over to Jack and ushered him out into the hallway while pulling his phone out of his pocket.
Dean watched them go and then turned to Cas who was studying him intently. He felt an unfamiliar shyness creeping up inside him and his nerves began to take over, but he cleared his throat quietly, intent on pushing past the forming anxiety. "Cas, I, uh—Do you need to pack anything? A different coat, perhaps?"
Cas gave him a look and Dean let out a nervous chuckle.
"Right." He took a few steps towards the angel. "Listen, I…" Dean struggled to get out what he wanted to ask, and he licked his lips anxiously. Why was it so difficult to ask this? It shouldn't be that big a deal.
"Yes, Dean, I will go with you to your room and help you pack."
Dean's eyes widened. How in the hell did Cas know that?
A soft, understanding smile formed on Cas' face. "I told you, Dean. We can pick up on longing. And right now, you want me to go with you because you don't want me out of your sight."
Dean opened his mouth to immediately protest but found he couldn't. It was true; he didn't want to let Cas out of his sight in case he disappeared again. After everything, he couldn't take that right now. Hell, he couldn't take that ever. Never again. Instead, he cleared his throat for a second time and dropped his gaze to the floor. "Okay."
He started to make his way towards his room, grabbing onto Cas' sleeve and gently tugging him along. He didn't need to look at Cas to know his best friend was sporting a huge grin, especially when a couple of Dean's fingers tenderly brushed against his wrist. If anyone forced him to admit it, Dean would say he was trying to get a better grip on Cas' coat or that it was an accident, but deep down, a small part of him yearned for the brief contact. That same part of him also didn't seem to mind it so much when Cas' fingers brushed against his hand when the latter handed him a few folded shirts to throw into a duffel bag about four minutes later.
And Dean would deny it to the ground, but he had taken two minutes of the allotted time they had been given to sit on the edge of his bed with Cas next to him, their shoulders touching at the very same site Cas had initially left his mark, and it made him sigh in relief, enjoying the brief absence of chaos and the ensuing silence. The seasoned hunter and the angel took a moment to breathe and Dean could swear it was some of the best time he had ever spent on this earth. So this is what it was like—to love someone and have them love you in return. It was new and unfamiliar but Dean found himself liking it. He had loved Lisa and Cassie, and they had loved him, but it had never felt like anything close to this. This moment of sitting together, not saying a word, staring at the wall across from them, barely touching, no more secrets between them, enjoying the peace and just being, was suddenly in his top ten moments. Sex was awesome but even that didn't compare to this. Dean didn't exactly believe in soul mates but he understood why some people did. The feeling he got just from having Cas there, with their kid and Sam down the hall from them, preparing to show them one of the beaches he had gone to back in the day when on a solo hunt after he and his dad split up, well, it was indescribable.
And that same feeling continued to fill him twenty minutes later as they barreled down the road in Baby, heading towards Eileen's destination, who had enthusiastically agreed to the small vacation. Dean glanced at Sam who was grinning down at his phone like an idiot as he and Eileen presumably swapped texts. He then checked the rearview mirror to find Jack showing Cas something on his phone that he had found, most likely what to do on a beach since the former had been asking Dean repeatedly about this topic until he shut it down three minutes earlier. Not even the knowledge of Sam packing some books in the trunk of the Impala to research further into Amara's switcheroo could lessen this newfound feeling inside of Dean. He wouldn't say it was quite peace or happiness but he would venture it was something in between the two. Actually, he knew it was when he saw Cas' smile as Jack played a video of baby turtles making a mad dash to the ocean after hatching.
Dean grinned and turned up the music as a familiar Led Zeppelin song came on. He hit the gas and Baby took off faster down the open road. Not quite peace or happiness but pretty damn close. Yeah, he could live with that.
A/N: The about 80% mark I got up to 2 years ago was the Dean and Cas reunion scene, right when Jack and Sam are approaching. Thank you so much for reading!
