Chapter 6: Repercussion

Over.

It was finally over.

A week had passed since he first gained consciousness. He was told by Albus that the members of the Order could not arrive in time. Fortunately, Albus had been with them and found him in the room with the boy. The other Death- Eaters were captured while he was brought back to Hogwarts to be nursed by Madam Pomfrey.

In that week alone, chaos erupted among the Death-Eaters. Many, if not most, were caught, and the public was wildly glad they could sate themselves with vengeance after the horrors unleashed upon them.

Albus did not say it explicitly, but he gathered that the Headmaster did not approve of how the Ministry was carrying out the trials and allowing the public to loot the Death-Eaters' homes blatantly and brazenly heap scorn on their relatives. Furthermore, some of the more important members, such as Malfoy, were not arrested due to their wealth and influential status.

He could not care so much at present. Lying on the soft bed in a secluded part of the Hospital Wing, he watched the sunbeams streaming through the long windows. Certainly, he felt restful. He could sleep for as long as he wished, without fear, without worry. Oddly too, was the absence of recurring nightmares. That aspect of improvement of his life nagged at him. The heady sensation was almost too pleasurable to bear. He did not think he deserved it. He questioned whether his conscience was taking the leave off after berating him relentlessly throughout the past years and concluding it needed a rest as well. He clucked his tongue irritably. He was, as a rule, not a person inflicted with flights of fancy. Another sign of how abnormal his behaviour was.

However, he could not deny that he still felt listless most times. For good reason. He fingered at the Dark Mark. This would serve as the hateful reminder of the fathomless hell he had once delved in. The lives of victims snatched away would continue to haunt him. He was under no illusion about it. The recovery in the Hospital Wing was only a temporary cessation of what was to follow. There were still debts to be paid, duties to be upheld, responsibilities to attend to. He swore to do all he could possibly do. The failure of rescuing Potter and Evans also plagued him, less so for Potter. He was too arrogant.

Albus visited him in the afternoon.

He was updated with the court proceedings and was glad to note that his name was cleared from the list of suspects. 'Thanks.' He knew Albus must have compromised himself for helping him.

'There's no need to thank me. You deserve all the credit.'

'Well,' he remarked dryly, 'I don't think that leads to adulation in the papers and an Order of Merlin though.'

'No,' Albus said quietly.

Not that it was crucial to gain recognition. He showed what he thought by grinning wryly. Albus winked back.

He sobered up, 'He will return.' There was no need to say who 'he' was.

Albus nodded. 'A Killing curse won't destroy him. At least, he's gone for a period. We'll be ready for him. What are your plans Severus?' It seemed eons ago that he was asked the same question.

'I don't know,' he said baldly. 'I didn't think I'd manage to survive this mess. It's not as dramatic as you think,' he added hastily when he saw Albus frown, 'Being with the Dark Lord did not persuade one to plan far ahead. One could be killed easily, even if he were not betraying him.'

'Yes.' Albus reflected, 'There are things which you did not tell me. You didn't want me to be in the dilemma.' For a moment, he looked haggard. 'This guilt will weigh.'

He had no experience in comforting another, if comfort was to be called for in this instance. He knew it was not possible to hoodwink Albus about the extent he had chosen to hide the activities he had to carry out despite his revulsion and reluctance. It was not a saintly impulse that drove him. He was simply practical. He knew that even if Albus had known every gruesome detail, and however much he might want to help him escape, the Headmaster would be compelled to beseech him to continue. He was the link between the two poles.

If there was anything he was not prepared to see, it was Albus Dumbledore begging a Death-Eater.

'I'm sorry.' Albus whispered.

'You did nothing.' He reassured.

'That is precisely the point,' countered Albus acidly. 'I never seem to do anything for you. You were the one protecting me while we were fighting Voldemort.'

'You accepted me,' said he quietly, 'After all I've done, you were magnanimous to let my past be. For me, that amounts to the most decent thing anyone can do for me.' He hesitated. 'I can't do it myself.'

'Well,' Albus interrupted before he spiralled inwards, 'There're some positions vacant here, as some professors have retired. Will you teach Severus?'

'Oh, are you giving me shelter now?' He chuckled. If someone other than Albus had proffered it, he would have deeply resented the charitable gesture. He truly would think himself spineless for grabbing anything that was offered. As it was Albus who was asking him, he gave him the benefit of seriously considering it.

Hogwarts was not a home to him, as so many students declared it to be for them. He had not found happiness or a sense of belonging throughout his seven years. Yet, he had embraced the place. There was something comforting in the methodic schedule both students and staff alike stick to. There was relative calm in lessons. And so long as he did not disturb anyone, no one bothered him. There was consolation in solitude. It was a place where there were few loud arguments and traumatising fights that he regularly received from his family, from his miserable excuse of a home. The school had acted as his sanctuary.

Yes, he could learn to adapt to the potential situation.

'I wonder at the appropriateness of my temperament.'

'It'll do,' Albus said merrily. 'If you like, we can have an official trial period, just to see how it goes.'

'What of the staff?' He did not add it may be intimidating to have colleagues who were not just older than you two or three time over, but who also knew since you were a scrawny eleven-year-old. Besides, he was not the popular student. He wondered at their reaction were Albus to announce his decision. There was the possibility that they would find it scandalous, after hearing the rumours circulated in their society about him. They knew not yet of his double masquerade for the Order. Surely they would protest and doubt his loyalties.

On the other hand, they may not pay attention to him. The fact that the war was over asserted a profound impact on most of the wizarding world. Like a helpless crew aboard a lost ship that was swept up in a thunderous storm at sea for immeasurable time who suddenly realised that the swirling fog of menace was lifted, the magical community was perplexed at the circumstances they were in, responsible for none of the abrupt change no less. True, they were grateful, but during the war they were preoccupied in fighting against the dark forces. Now, they were thrust with the challenge of living without the threat of the Dark Lord and they did not know how to start. The Dark Lord's influence remained oppressive. Many would have to pluck up the courage to venture out again.

The Ministry and the Daily Prophet were certainly pulling out all the strings to expound on them that peace reigned once more, eager to propogandise that the righteous have triumphed, just as long as all paid their proper respect to those in power. They forgot to mention how they had launched into a series of bribes, ultimatums and bullying with the Death- Eaters to scrap flimsy pieces of evidence. It was a cold and fast business transaction. Both sides profited from the exchange, and both kept silent about the proceedings. So long as some Death-Eaters were brought into prominence, and the Ministry provided the chance for the people to jeer at them in court, the public at large was satisfied.

'The staff will cooperate. Don't fret,' Albus smiled affectionately, 'After all you've been through, do you think you're incapable of dealing with a bunch of dithering, elderly witches and wizards?'

Put it in that angle, he had to agree. He glanced at the list of vacant positions that Albus had procured for his perusal. 'Erm, can I teach Defence Against the Dark Arts then?'

His spirits fell when Albus creased his forehead, 'No. I'm afraid that position's reserved for someone else.'

'You still don't trust me. You don't think I can handle it,' he said softly. He refused to show his hurt. It was silly of him to expect more.

'My dear lad, if I didn't trust you, would I have entrusted secrets like who the members in the Order are to you?' Albus shook his head, 'And besides, call me superstitious, but the DADA position's been passed on from one professor to another every year consecutively for two decades. I don't want to lose you. To be honest, I don't want you to be immersed in the dark arts. You've done that all your life. I want you to take a break from it to see life in a different way.'

He was somewhat placated and sullenly answered, 'All right, but be forewarned that I harbour a strong suspicion that you just don't want me to take it.'

Albus smiled. 'Thank you. Will you teach Potions instead?'

He consented. Better that than, he looked at the list again, heavens forbid, flying lessons, which did not require great finesse in wits, only an inclination toward it and sheer guts. To take that position would be appallingly mundane and humiliating.

As they talked for hours, it occurred to him that a new stage of his life had already begun. It was a new breath of life, one which he hoped would enable him to break free and stand on his own. As Albus piled a stack of food that the House-Elves presented and force-fed him until he insisted that he ate himself, he felt more upbeat and alive. Perhaps, if he took it step by step, he may slowly emerge from the shadows and leave his shackles that bound him in the recesses of the past. He might even develop an appreciation for life.

Albus was rubbing off on him.

Author's Note:

duochang97: Hello! Regarding your question, I wrote how Snape pretends to be raging over Lily. So he's not seen to be betraying the Dark Lord, just. . . misbehaving. And Voldemort was not there to see him turn on a fellow Death-Eater because he was already 'dead' by then. No doubt Snape will be punished when he returns to his 'master', but Voldemort will not have strong suspicions of his loyalty.

abraxis: Thanks for the encouragement!