All's Normal On the Enterprise Part Two
~~
Reviewer Replies:
Saurons Twin Sister: I have kept going. Keep going yourself with 'which is which'!
~~
[Bridge: Enterprise. Everyone's got their scripts on the desk but aren't reading them as per tradition. Kirk is looking vaguely bored. Spock is looking Spock-ish. McCoy is contemplating giving himself a hypo-spray of that stuff they handed out in Wolf In the Fold. Chekov is reading a book, Russian Inventions and Who Invented Them, under his station. Sulu is polishing his Fencing Foil, holding it so that Kirk won't see. Uhura is applying yet more fake nails. Rand is practicing how to spill coffee deliberately on Kirk's lap and make it look like an accident. Scotty is talking about Engineering things to the computer. The computer is bored with him.]
Kirk: Humph.
Uhura: Really?
Kirk: Yes.
[Silence resumes.]
Spock: I have an idea.
McCoy(sarcastically): Oh, really? It's not like you to have an idea.
Spock: Well, I have one all the same.
McCoy: Oh. What is it?
Spock: I was talking to the Captain.
McCoy: He's not listening.
Spock: Oh. Well then I will suggest it to you instead.
[Pause]
McCoy: Well?
Spock: Well what?
McCoy: What's the idea?
Spock: What idea?
McCoy: The idea you were just talking about.
Spock: I have no idea of what you are referring to, Doctor.
Sulu: Spock, are you actually trying to annoy Doctor McCoy?
Spock: Annoyance is an emotional reaction to an annoying comment. Since I have no emotions, I have no motivation to annoy the Doctor.
Rand: But, he annoys you all the time. Why not get a little pay back?
Spock: "Pay Back" is inspired by an emotional outburst. . .
Chekov: Here ve go.
Spock: . . .and I have no emotions to have an outburst with. Oh, and my idea was to read the script.
Sulu: What, and break with tradition? WHY?
Spock: You are all bored. The only way to relieve this state of mind is to read a script.
Uhura: That's a lie and you know it.
Spock: I am incapable of lying.
Uhura: As if.
[Pause]
Chekov: I guess ve could try it. . .and if ve don't like it, ve could alvays just stop.
Sulu: Um. . .yeah. . .there's no harm in trying, is there?
Kirk: Hnuh? Go away, mum.
Uhura: The Captain's asleep. He'd never know any different.
McCoy: Who'll play the Captain though?
[Pause]
Chekov: Howabout that guy ve don't like?
Sulu: Which one?
Chekov: The vun who blew up his ship to safe us and it didn't help at all.
Sulu: Decker? He's dead.
Gene(from Backstage): Not anymore.
Decker: Hi everybody!
Everybody: Go away Mr. Decker!
Decker: I can't take a hint.
[Decker rolls Kirk off his chair and sits down. The crew groan, then pick up their scripts.]
Decker: Okay. Let's start this game!
Sulu: It's not a game.
Decker: it is now.
~~
Decker: Sub paragraph one, heading A, open bracket. Kirk is sitting in his command chair -
Uhura: Sir, that's the stage directions. You're dialogue is underneath.
Decker: Gotcha. Ehem. Kirk colon Mister full-stop Spock coma -
Chekov: You're not supposed to read the punctuation as punctuation.
Decker: I don't get this.
Scotty: How'd you learn yer lines in Doomsday Machine?
Decker: My sectary read them to me.
Scotty: Oh. Well, you're gonna hafta learn 'em now.
Decker: Alright. Ehem. Kirk:MrSpockhaveyoupickedupanyreadingsfromthe-
Uhura: You can read spaces.
Decker: Okay. . Kirk:spaceMrspcaeSpockspacehavespaceyouspacepickedspaceupspcae-
Uhura: NO! YOU JUST READ IT AS MR. SPOCK, HAVE YOU PICKED UP ANY READINGS FROM THE SHIP WE ARE PURSUING!!!
Decker: Do I have to yell like that?
Chekov: You're fired.
Decker: You can't fire me!
Chekov: I have a first name and a middle name and a last name and a history and a few friends. I can do what I like.
Decker: Dammit!
[Decker storms off.]
Uhura: Hey!
Sulu: What?
Uhura: We relieved our boredom.
Kirk: Hnuh? Was I asleep? Why am I on the floor? Why're you reading your scripts? Why am I asking questions? Why-
Spock: Seems like everything is back to normal. . .
Decker(from Backstage): I don't care! I want a pay check!
Spock: . . . ish.
~~
Reviewer Replies:
Saurons Twin Sister: I have kept going. Keep going yourself with 'which is which'!
~~
[Bridge: Enterprise. Everyone's got their scripts on the desk but aren't reading them as per tradition. Kirk is looking vaguely bored. Spock is looking Spock-ish. McCoy is contemplating giving himself a hypo-spray of that stuff they handed out in Wolf In the Fold. Chekov is reading a book, Russian Inventions and Who Invented Them, under his station. Sulu is polishing his Fencing Foil, holding it so that Kirk won't see. Uhura is applying yet more fake nails. Rand is practicing how to spill coffee deliberately on Kirk's lap and make it look like an accident. Scotty is talking about Engineering things to the computer. The computer is bored with him.]
Kirk: Humph.
Uhura: Really?
Kirk: Yes.
[Silence resumes.]
Spock: I have an idea.
McCoy(sarcastically): Oh, really? It's not like you to have an idea.
Spock: Well, I have one all the same.
McCoy: Oh. What is it?
Spock: I was talking to the Captain.
McCoy: He's not listening.
Spock: Oh. Well then I will suggest it to you instead.
[Pause]
McCoy: Well?
Spock: Well what?
McCoy: What's the idea?
Spock: What idea?
McCoy: The idea you were just talking about.
Spock: I have no idea of what you are referring to, Doctor.
Sulu: Spock, are you actually trying to annoy Doctor McCoy?
Spock: Annoyance is an emotional reaction to an annoying comment. Since I have no emotions, I have no motivation to annoy the Doctor.
Rand: But, he annoys you all the time. Why not get a little pay back?
Spock: "Pay Back" is inspired by an emotional outburst. . .
Chekov: Here ve go.
Spock: . . .and I have no emotions to have an outburst with. Oh, and my idea was to read the script.
Sulu: What, and break with tradition? WHY?
Spock: You are all bored. The only way to relieve this state of mind is to read a script.
Uhura: That's a lie and you know it.
Spock: I am incapable of lying.
Uhura: As if.
[Pause]
Chekov: I guess ve could try it. . .and if ve don't like it, ve could alvays just stop.
Sulu: Um. . .yeah. . .there's no harm in trying, is there?
Kirk: Hnuh? Go away, mum.
Uhura: The Captain's asleep. He'd never know any different.
McCoy: Who'll play the Captain though?
[Pause]
Chekov: Howabout that guy ve don't like?
Sulu: Which one?
Chekov: The vun who blew up his ship to safe us and it didn't help at all.
Sulu: Decker? He's dead.
Gene(from Backstage): Not anymore.
Decker: Hi everybody!
Everybody: Go away Mr. Decker!
Decker: I can't take a hint.
[Decker rolls Kirk off his chair and sits down. The crew groan, then pick up their scripts.]
Decker: Okay. Let's start this game!
Sulu: It's not a game.
Decker: it is now.
~~
Decker: Sub paragraph one, heading A, open bracket. Kirk is sitting in his command chair -
Uhura: Sir, that's the stage directions. You're dialogue is underneath.
Decker: Gotcha. Ehem. Kirk colon Mister full-stop Spock coma -
Chekov: You're not supposed to read the punctuation as punctuation.
Decker: I don't get this.
Scotty: How'd you learn yer lines in Doomsday Machine?
Decker: My sectary read them to me.
Scotty: Oh. Well, you're gonna hafta learn 'em now.
Decker: Alright. Ehem. Kirk:MrSpockhaveyoupickedupanyreadingsfromthe-
Uhura: You can read spaces.
Decker: Okay. . Kirk:spaceMrspcaeSpockspacehavespaceyouspacepickedspaceupspcae-
Uhura: NO! YOU JUST READ IT AS MR. SPOCK, HAVE YOU PICKED UP ANY READINGS FROM THE SHIP WE ARE PURSUING!!!
Decker: Do I have to yell like that?
Chekov: You're fired.
Decker: You can't fire me!
Chekov: I have a first name and a middle name and a last name and a history and a few friends. I can do what I like.
Decker: Dammit!
[Decker storms off.]
Uhura: Hey!
Sulu: What?
Uhura: We relieved our boredom.
Kirk: Hnuh? Was I asleep? Why am I on the floor? Why're you reading your scripts? Why am I asking questions? Why-
Spock: Seems like everything is back to normal. . .
Decker(from Backstage): I don't care! I want a pay check!
Spock: . . . ish.
