Oh my god, this has been my longest chapter, I know you're anxious to read so I won't keep you.

Thanks: Thank you to every person who ever reviewed!

Disclaimer: I don't own the newsies. Prankster, Ramble and Marbles are mine. Any other name you don't recognize, they belong to themselves

Alright time for chapter 8…Jack

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Chapter 8 Lepidopterophobia and….Jack?

(Prankster, Marbles and Ramble are sitting at the desk, 'Ramble is coloring of course', but the area is much more crowded on the floor. For 19 new people have been hired, 'and when we say "hired" we mean that they are here working for pocket lint,' all in the name of finding the newsies secrets. Spot, Race AND Mush are tied in their chairs, Specs is no where to be found.)

Announcer: (after applause dies down) And now it's time for the funniest show this side of the Mississippi….The Left Shoe Show!

Prankster & Marbles: O.o

Ramble: Yaye! I ate a watermelon and all the seeds fell out, and when I went to pick 'em up they all began to shout.

Ramble and guys: YOU (YOU'SE) ATE MY (ME) MOMMA! (Ramble giggles)

Prankster: (sighs) Thank you Riot. (That's right, Riot is the announcer) Now we have to get going, we have a LOT of questions for Jack, as soon as Bookie and the others get here.

(on cue, Bookie, Hotshot, Frecks, and Dreamy roll on a bound and tied Jack, Jack struggles)

Hotshot: Give it up Jack, you're gunna be here for awhile!

Marbles: Thank you Hotshot. (Hotshot & others leave)

Ramble: Hiya Jack! (waves)

(Jack sees Spot, Race and Mush)

Jack: O.O yer alive?!?!

Race: yeah an' I 'ope ya wasted a lot of time on me eulogy!

Spot: (bitter) I 'ope dey make ya cry, Jacky-boy

Ramble: (shakes head) Now don't be bitter, we have to interview Jack!

Prankster: Right you are! Ok first question comes from Gears, she wants to know, "is it true that bandana covers up hickeys given to you by Davey when you and him and Denton have a threesome?"

Jack: What? no! No hickeys!

Ramble: (takes off bandana) Hey, he ain't lying! (waves bandana around) whee!

Jack: Give me dat!

Ramble: (pouts) Fine! (throws bandana in his lap) there!

Prankster: NEXT QUESTION! Is from Gears also, she asks, "do you really want to go to Santa Fe or are you just saying that so people will beg you to stay in New York with them and you get lots of attention?"

Race: Yeah, dat really is a cry for attention.

Marbles: Excuse me Racetrack, but I think your interview is done, so unless you want one of our staff to give you a make-over I suggest you shut up!

(Racetrack growls)

Ramble: I WANNA READ THE QUESTIONS! (takes cards) ok this is from Quipster, she wants to know, "Why do you steal the tomatoes on the roof? And WHY do it so obviously? He does it RIGHT in front of Sarah...I mean come on he had all night to sneak up there and steal them.."

Jack: Actually, da tomato was rotten.

Race: (scoffs) A likely story.

Prankster: That's it! (yells) GLITTER, LISA, GET OUT HERE!

(Glitter and Lisa walk on)

Glitter: yes?

Prankster: Grab Racetrack, he's just earned himself a makeover, let's go, Bookie fill in for me.

Bookie: Ok, (sits in Prankster's chair)

(Glitter, Lisa and Prankster leave with a scared Racetrack, Spot hums 'The funeral march')

Jack: O.O maybe it would've been better if you were dead.

Spot: I've been sayin' dat for da last couple episodes.

Ramble: Ok, this question is from Quipster too, "Why does Jack feel the need to hit the poor defenseless stockings?"

Marbles: Yeah, what did those stockings do to you?

Jack: wow if I knew I was ta be tested I would've studied, well, I was bored an' needed somethin' ta do, so I 'it the stockings.

Bookie: Ok now, Hotshot wants to know, "What exactly do you plan on doing once you get to Santa Fe?"

Jack: Oh, well, I'se gunna get a ranch an' lots of horses an' cattle an' be a cowboy!

Marbles: (mutters) good luck with that.

Ramble: Marbles, you're being unusually bitter today.

Marbles: Oh thank you for noticing, shouldn't you be coloring?

Bookie: Girls! You're done! Fight after the show! Hotshot also wants to know, "Are you as much of an 'egotistical bastard' as Spot?"

Jack: almost, but not quite.

Marbles: Ok Blinks-Tiger, and a lot more girls want to know, "Why Sarah?!?!?!"

Jack: O.o…why not?

Ramble: (fast) Well, some girls don't want you going out with Sarah, because they don't you and her are a good match, personally, I think they're jealous because now you're taken. Though others just find her annoying.

Everyone: O.o

Spot: Thank you Ramble.

Ramble: no problem whatsoever.

Jack: hey! I'm not gunna defend me relationship with Sarah 'cause I shouldn't hafta.

(Jack fans think of a plot to kill Sarah. Glitter, Lisa, and Prankster roll Race out)

Spot: O.O oh my.

(Racetrack is wearing drag queen make-up, his hair is nice and fluffy. His clothes are the same except for a big yellow feather boa is wrapped around his neck)

Glitter: He's missing something.

Lisa: I agree

Prankster: perhaps "attack of the pixie"?

Glitter: oh yes of course!

(Glitter takes out some glitter)

Glitter: ATTACK OF THE PIXIE!!!! (Throws glitter on Racetrack)

Ramble: Oh he's sparkly!


Race: (sputters) ack!

Marbles: Well, he'll be as quiet as Mush for a while.

Mush: (smiles)

Marbles: Good boy, here, have a chocolate coin.

(Race growls, but says nothing)

Bookie: Umm ladies?

Prankster: yes?

Bookie: You're supposed to be interviewing Jack.

Marbles: Oh yeah, (looks at her card) Moods wants to know, "Why do you like Medda, she's 58."

Jack: She's nice ta us newsies.

Spot: I think Moods meant, "why do you LIKE Medda?"

Jack: O.o (confused) she's nice?

Prankster: Bah! We'll skip it and see if we can come back, this is only a half-an-hour show.

Ramble: Wait we have a time limit?

Prankster: Yeah, we do now.

Marbles: (ignoring her sisters) Ok, Cards wants to know, "You own a newsie hat, why don't you wear it?"

Jack: I like me cowboy hat better.

Marbles: She also want's to know, "Are you aware that there are girls who you have never met that want to shag you senseless?"

(Rapid fan girls scream, Cards, Sparks, Shortie, and Capy do their best to restrain them.)

Jack: I do now.

Marbles: And Cards' last question, "Now that you know that the boys are not dead do you feel really stupid?"

(Spot, Race and Mush send dirty looks, Jack looks away)

Jack: Jist a little, but where's Specs.

Prankster: Yeah where is he….(screams) BOOKIE!!!!!!

(Bookie runs out)

Prankster: Where's Specs?

Bookie: Oh he's in the green room.

Everyone: O.o

Bookie: He's watching 'The Discovery Channel' it's shark week you know.

Ramble: IT'S SHARK WEEK! Prankster, I wanna watch shark week with Specs.

Prankster: (pounds head on desk) NO! You're interviewing.

Bookie: We're taping it.

Ramble: O.O (hugs Bookie) I LOVE THIS GIRL, (to Prankster) can we keep her….please.

(Bookie shakes her head)

Prankster and Marbles: NO!

(Bookie runs out of the room, Ramble sits back down)

Prankster: Ok (grabs cards) Next question is from, Frenchy DeWolfe, "Jack, how old are ya?"

Jack: 17

Prankster: Oh Ramble, Frenchy requests that you flick Spots ears.

Ramble: Ok, (flick, flick)

Spot: Grrrrr

Prankster: Ok, Rhapsody wants to know, "Do ya ever get annoyed with Les?"

Jack: (laughs) nah! If anything it's Davey that get's annoying.

Ramble: Oh so the truth comes out.

Prankster: Next question, is from Riot, "Do you realize how many people say they're related to you?"

Jack: Yeah, but who can blame 'em?

Ramble: true.

(Spot rolls his eyes, Race is kicking his legs)

Marbles: Does Race STILL have those parachute pants?

(Race nods his head)

Prankster: Riot wants to know, "Have you always been the Manhattan leader?"

Jack: Yep, since the dawn of time.

Ramble: Hey! (Smacks Jack) Sarcasm is Race's specialty, not yours.

Prankster: and lastly from Riot "How did you meet Spot?"

Spot: Oh dear god.

Jack: We met in da refuge.

Prankster: Ok Kaylee wants to know, "Jack, do you consider yourself a babe?"

Jack: Well, I don't wanna make da oudda's jealous, but yeah.

Marbles: (scoffs)

Jack: Ah, you know I'm cute.

Marbles: cute? I think Spot is cuter then you.

(Spot grins)

Ramble: Ohhhhhh, want some ice for that burn?

Spot: HEY!

(Race & Mush are cracking up)

Prankster: Marbles 1, Jack 0!

Jack: (growls) what's the next question?

Prankster: Oh this one is from The Omniscient Bookseller, she wants to know, "How old were you when you became a newsie?"

Jack: I was 7.

Prankster: TOB wants to know, "What on earth was the hand clappy thing in Seize the Day?"

Jack: Hey, dat's what the choreographer told us to do. So I did.

Ramble: He's got a point.

Prankster: TOB wants to know, "Tells us the story about Roosevelt and the carriage."

Jack: There's not much to tell, Roosevelt came, and I snuck under the carriage and rode out.

Prankster: Again from TOB, "How did you really get into the refuge?"

Jack: Would you believe me if I said I killed someone?

Ramble: no

Jack: Damn, alright, "I kicked Snyder an' ran."

Ramble: That's it.

Jack: that's it.

Prankster: Alright and last question from TOB, "Did you ever had any siblings?"

Jack: nope, I'm an only child.

Ramble: I WANNA READ! (Grabs cards) Ok Splash wants to know, "Since all the guys that are missing are assumed dead, who's going to be the new leader?"

Jack: (sigh) I 'ope they don't pick Davey

Ramble: Aki wants to know, "Where in the world did you get that cruddy old hat and bandana?"

Jack: Hey! I bought those.

Ramble: (hands up in defense) I didn't ask blame her. (Points to our card holder Aki, Aki smiles and waves)

Jack: (mumbles) I got your cruddy ol' had and bandana right here.

Marbles: My turn! (Grabs cards) Ok, Monday wants to know, "What's with you and Les?"

Jack: He's better then David.

Ramble: Too true.

Marbles: and Monday also wants to know, "If you were a swallow and you wanted to carry a coconut to your aunt's barmitzvah would there be a moose involved?"

Jack: O.o (whispers to Spot) I ain't Jewish.

Spot: (whispers back) Just say no.

Jack: No.

Marbles: Ok, Asp wants to know, "What are you doing to Denton's chair when you're putting it down during KoNY?"

Jack: I'm putting it down?

Ramble: I like how you answered that in the form of a question. (smiles and returns to coloring)

Marbles: Ok Lisa wants to know, "Does it hurt when Mush hits you?"

Jack: Nah!

Prankster: It's the male pride, he won't admit it.

Jack: Hey!

Marbles: Next question is from Shortie, "is Les hot in person?"

Jack: He's 10, and I'm not one to judge.

Prankster: Well put.

Marbles: Capy wants to know, "What came first, the nickname or Santa Fe?"

Jack: The nickname.

Marbles: Again Capy, "Be honest, did you just picked up a book and picked Santa Fe at random?"

Jack: Actually that is how it happened.

Race: MY TURN!

Everyone: O.o

Prankster: Sorry Race it's my turn! (grabs cards) Ok Dreamy wants to know, "What's your favorite color?"

Jack: Red.

Prankster: Again Dreamy, "Do you like being called Cowboy?"

Jack: Nah! Not really.

Prankster: Ok Galaxy wants to know, "if you're not scared of Spot, why do you bring Boots and David along?"

Spot: Yeah.

Jack: Well, I don't wanna walk all the way to Brooklyn without anyone to talk to. An' dere's safety in numbers!

Marbles: YES!

Prankster: Ok Galaxy again, "If you're not scared of Pulitzer then why do you bring Les along?"

Jack: Well, Les is cute. Cuter sells to adults.

Ramble: Yeah, it's like trying to sell Girl Scout cookies. We older girls can't sell 'em, the younger ones though, those go fast.

Prankster: true, Ok these questions are from Butterfly.

Jack: BUTTERFLY O.O!!!!!!!

Prankster: yeah Butterfly.

Jack: Did you say….Butterfly?

Prankster: Read my lips, But-ter-fly.

Jack: O.O I'm not answerin' any questions from Butterfly!

Marbles: Why?

Spot, Race, and Mush: why?

Jack: Because butterfly's are evil that's why!

Ramble: Prankster, I think Jack has Lepidopterophobia.

(crickets chirp)

Prankster: And taking that out of Ramble language and putting it into normal English is….?

Ramble: Jack's afraid of Butterfly's he's a Lepidopterophobiac.

Marbles: Ramble, how do you know that?

Ramble: What doesn't everybody?

Prankster: No!

Ramble: oh.

Marbles: Well, I guess we know Jacks secret, it's time to end the show.

Jack: so I get to leave?

(Prankster & boys laughs)

Jack: A simple 'no' would've worked.

Ramble: ok, (sings) I ate a watermelon and all the seeds fell out, and when I went to pick them up they all began to shout.

Ramble & boys: YOU (YOU'SE) ATE MY (ME) MOMMA!

Jack: Wow What a good song.

Ramble: I know.

Prankster: Ok please send your questions for Boots. He'll be in the next episode.

Riot: (you know our announcer) This has been a production of The Left Shoe Show.

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There you go, Now I'm going to list everyone one and what they're jobs are. If you weren't in this chapter, I'm sorry, I'll make sure your name gets mentioned soon.

Here we go:

Newsie Getters: Hotshot, Frecks, and Dreamy.

Camera Girls: Moods, Rhapsody, and Falco.

Rapid Fan Girl Restrainer: Cards, Sparks, Shortie, and Capy.

Hair and Make-up: Glitter and Lisa.

Announcer: Riot.

Sound: Aura

Lights: Splash

Card Holder: Aki.

Mascot: Monday.

Food Bringer. (in our opinion this is the MOST IMPORTANT job): Butterfly

Newsie Torturer: Galaxy

Intern: Bookie

Ok please review so we have questions for Boots.