Hey guys, I'm sick, and because I've missed three days of school and nothing for me to do. I've been working on this. So this is the something good that comes out of being sick. Enjoy.
Thanks: To everyone who reviewed and all of you that have the patience to wait for me while I update.
Disclaimer: Newsies is a product of the Disney co. and I'm not making a dime off this story. The only characters I own are Prankster, Marbles and Ramble. All others belong to themselves or are slaves to the Disney co.
Episode 10 Crutchy and a spine? Maybe next time a brain.
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(Drum Roll) Riot: It's time for the well-reviewed, hilarious talk show, "The Left Shoe Show"
(Applause)
(Prankster, Marbles, & Ramble are at the oversize desk, Ramble is of course coloring, Spot, Race, Jack & Mush are tied to their chairs, Boots and Specs are no where to be found)
Ramble: (mono-tone) I ate a watermelon, and all the seeds fell out, and when I went to pick them up, they all began to shout…
Ramble & Boys: you (YOU'SE) ate my (ME) momma.
Prankster & Marbles: O.O
Prankster: (drops her pen and feels Ramble's forehead) Ramble are you ok? You love the watermelon song.
Ramble: I do, it's just. (sniff) my white color pencil is gone.
Marbles: O.o (picks up at least 23 whites) Ramble….how could be missing one?
Jack: How could there be 20 shades of white?
Ramble: oh well there's egg shell white, polar bear white, snow white, paper white, antique white, white white …
Marbles: NO! I will buy you the one you're missing if you stop talking about colors NOW!
Ramble: really?
Marbles: Yes.
Ramble: (throws arms around Marbles) Thank you! You're the best sister ever!
Marbles: Ack!
Prankster: sure let's all forget about Prankster, she's just the one that saves your ass when you piss Marbles off, and bought your art supplies and…
Riot: 'cuse me.
Prankster: What?
Riot: I think the people are here to see Crutchy, not you three…bond.
Prankster: there are a few that are still here to see Spot.
(Spot fans scream, rapid fan girls restrain them)
Ramble: I don't know what they see in him, I mean, look at him….he hasn't taken a shower the entire time he's been here and he's fricking snoring!
(Spot is fast asleep, mouth open and snoring)
Mush: Dat's getting' annoyin' can't we jist plug 'is nose?
Race: nah! Then he'd start snorin' through 'is mouth.
Mush: could we plug 'is mouth too?
Ramble: No sweetie, that's what they call murder.
Prankster: Ok! Bring out Crutchy.
(Crutchy is rolled out with much more rope then all the other boys had to.)
Marbles: Why so much rope Dreamy?
Dreamy: This kid's so frikin skinny he slid through the ropes 'bout 4 times before we got more rope.
Frecks: Yeah, it's a good thing Capy can run as fast as she does or else we wouldn't have a show.
Prankster: Thanks guys, I think Butterfly has some food for you.
Hotshot: sweet! (the newsie nappers leave, Crutchy is left with a scared look on his face, the hosts smile)
Ramble: Hi Crutchy! (waves)
Crutchy: H-hi.
Prankster: Here's the deal, you answer our questions, we let you go. (mutters) eventually, (normal) now let's go. Our first question comes from Gears, "why is it your leg is bum when you walk but when you dance its just fine?"
Crutchy: Camera angles.
Ramble: What?
Prankster: This is from Quipster, "what did you do the sauerkraut?"
Crutchy: (proud) Well, I put some dirt in it.
Prankster: (scoffs) weak! I would expect more from Ramble.
Ramble: yeah…HEY!
Crutchy: Was da dirt from 'er head?
Marbles: gross!
(Hosts scoot away from Crutchy)
Prankster: Ok this is from Twig. (reads question) HAHAHAHA! I LOVE THIS GIRL HAHAHAHAHA (collapse's on floor laughing)
Ramble: (takes cards) I'll read it, hehehe, ok Twig wants to know, "Do you think, if you wished real hard (and flapped those dumbo ears of yours), you could fly?"
Crutchy: O.O my ears ain't big! Right guys?
Racetrack: (looks away) yeah Crutchy, whatever ya say.
Crutchy: (fumes) I see how it is…..is dat Spot?
Jack: Yeah, an old vetern, he's survived everythin' they've thrown at 'im.
Prankster: Excuse me, this isn't happy hour. Pay attention.
Ramble: Ok, the next question is from Aura, "Are you afraid of Spot? If so why?"
Crutchy: Well, up until 3 seconds ago, yeah, it's hard to be afraid of a guy who drools in 'is sleep.
Marbles: Whoa, did Crutchy make a crack at Spot?…I'm almost feeling sorry for the sucker.
Prankster, Ramble & everyone else: O.O
Marbles: What? I said almost!
Ramble: sure. (softly sings) Marbles and Spot, sitting in a tree F-U-C-
Prankster: RAMBLE! You know that Spot is impotent.
Ramble: Hello, viagra!
Marbles: will you discuss the probability of Spot and me having sex some other time.
Ramble: yeah but-
Marbles: Read the questions!
Ramble: oh right, ok again Aura, "Did you know that aside from... Les.... you have like the smallest fanbase, including AND limited to.... Me (Aura), Cliff, and Gears?"
Crutchy: I have fans?
Prankster: weird isn't it?
Crutchy: yeah.
Ramble: Ok, from Dragonfly, "Why are you nice to Weasel?"
Crutchy: 'cause ya gotta be polite to people.
(Everyone looks at Prankster)
Prankster: What? Why are all y'all looking at me?
Ramble: Again, Dragonfly, "Why don't you bonk the Delancey's over the head with you crutch?"
Crutchy: hey good idea, I'll 'member dat next time.
Marbles: (sighs) Ramble, I'll read the questions. (takes cards)
Ramble: Ok, oh Prankster, I wanna go to the zoo.
Prankster: What? Now?
Ramble: Of course not now, just sometime this week.
Prankster: Ok queen of randomness, I'll make sure to pencil you in.
Ramble: Ok (colors)
Marbles: If you two are done, I'd like to start the questions. Ok, this is from Rhapsody, "Where did you learn to dance so well?"
Crutchy: It's a musical, we all dance good.
Prankster: (concentrating on her notes, doesn't look up) 'cept Spot.
Marbles: Yeah, well that's a given. Ok this is from Sparks, "Where do you sell and with whom?"
Crutchy: Well, I like ta stay in crowded areas, let me customer's come to me, an' I (sniff) sell by meself?
Ramble: why?
Crutchy: No one wants ta sell with me.
Ramble: Oh no! (looks at boys, they desperately try to roll away) You're all mean.
Mush: whoa, we never said we ain't gunna sell with 'im.
Marbles: (ignores the impending deaths of most of the newsies.) Again Sparks, "Is there something going on between you and Race, 'cause I've heard rumors?"
Race & Crutchy: O.O NO!
Race: How come EVER episode somebody's sexual orientation gets questioned?
Prankster: I believe we're asking the questions here.
Marbles: Ok this comes from Keza: Queen Of Procrastination, "what would you do for a klondike bar?"
Crutchy: What's a Klondike Bar?
Prankster: You know what I'd do?
Ramble: No, what?
Prankster: I'd go to the store and buy one.
Ramble: Or you could see if Butterfly brought some.
Prankster: HEY BUTTERFLY!!! (Butterfly comes in) Do we have any Klondike Bars?
Butterfly: O.o….ummm no, but we do have cheetos!
Prankster: ooooooh! Can have that?
Butterfly: sure. (reaches behind her and tosses Prankster a bag, then leaves)
(Prankster starts munching)
Marbles: Ok the next questions come from…(looks at all the questions) CARDS!
Cards: (Walks down) yeah.
Marbles: You read your questions to Crutchy.
Prankster: (swallows cheetos) I'll take over your job. (stands up and points to audience) HEY YOU! Yeah, You with the "Spot's hot" shirt, put that burning picture of me away, you practice voodoo on your own time…..
Everyone on stage: O.O
Marbles: You better hurry Cards, before every Spot fan is kicked out.
Cards: good idea, ok Crutchy (smiles evilly) "Have you ever wanted to punch David?"
Crutchy: Hasn't everyone?
Cards: "Why do you have such an annoying laugh?"
Crutchy: To drive people like you away.
Riot: ohhh burn.
Cards: shut up Riot!
Riot: hey!
Ramble: READ THE QUESTIONS!
Cards: "What is with the hair?"
Crutchy: It's 1899, what're expectin'?
Cards: "Did you know that you walk funny?"
Crutchy: Yeah sure, let's all make fun of the gimp, cause it ain't like he got feelin's.
Cards: "Have you ever thought about a career as a clown?"
Crutchy: Only if you'd be the breaded-lady.
Spot: (has finally woke up) Well, look at this, the gimp's gotta spine.
Crutchy & Cards: SHUT UP SPOT!
Cards: "Do you find Denton attractive?"
Crutchy: umm No.
Cards: "Do you think Dutchy and Specs should get it on?"
Crutchy: oh yeah, those two were made for each other.
Cards: I know aren't they?
Splah: (from her light booth) HEY! LUCY, ETHEL! GOSSIP ON YOUR OWN TIME!
Crutchy: what?
Cards: don't bother. "If you had to be lovers with one newsie which one would you choose?"
Crutchy: Ummm…Jake, 'cause he don't talk much and would never say we did that.
Ramble: You know Jake's a mute right?
Crutchy: A WHAT? How could he be in a musical?
Ramble: beats me.
Cards: ok, I'm done. PRANKSTER GET BACK DOWN HERE I WANT MY JOB BACK!!!
Prankster: Ok, ok, ok (comes back down)
Ramble: alright this is from Galaxy, she wants to know, "What do you think of David's leadership?"
Crutchy: (shudders) it's horrible, ya gotta let Jack outta here!
Prankster: sorry, s'not gunna happen.
Ramble: this is from Glimmer, "Did anyone ever tell you that when you thrust you look like a piece of cardboard being bent backwards? POING!!!"
Crutchy: is she callin' me fat?
Prankster: no I don't think so.
Crutchy: I KNEW IT! I'M FAT. (sobs)
Spot: And there goes that spine.
Marbles: I'd yell at you, if you weren't 100% correct
Jack: hey! Lovebirds! Flirt after the show.
Spot & Marbles: BAH!
Prankster: (pats Crutchy's shoulder) there there, there there, there there.
Ramble: Ok this is from Lisa, "Do you have a girlfriend? Are you interested in having one?"
Prankster: see, there's SOMEONE who likes ya, and I bet she doesn't think you're fat.
(Crutchy still sobs)
Spot: (looks painful to say this) well, Crutchy, umm…(looks at ground) dojhwoenoiw.
Crutchy: What?
Spot: idon'tthinkyou'refat.
Prankster: what?
Spot: I DON'T THINK YOU'RE FAT! GOT IT!
Prankster: (looks at Ramble) You thinking what I'm thinking?
Ramble: yeah
Prankster & Ramble: (sings) I've got a crush on you, sweetie-pie, all the day and night time, hear me sigh, it's not another flirtation, we're provin' that there's pre-destination. Could you coo? Could you care? For a country cottage, we would share? The world will pardon my mush, (looks at Mush muhahaha) 'cause I've got a crush my baby on you!
Marbles: ladies and gentlemen…my sisters.
Prankster and Ramble: THANK YOU!
Marbles: Ok this is from Brains, "Does it ever annoy you that everyone is so patronizing to you all the time?"
Crutchy: yeah, but I gotta feelin' I'm gunna get used to it.
Prankster: alright, that's all for now.
Marbles: So we learned that Crutchy actually has a spine…and thinks he's fat.
Ramble: HEY LOOK! (holds up colored pencil) Here's the pencil I was missing! I wonder where it went.
Marbles: (monotone) wait here while I alert unsolved mystery's.
Prankster: (ignores her sisters) Ok, send in your questions for Itey. If you don't know who he is. He's the one that shares a bed with Snitch and gets Snitch's foot in his face. So send your questions to him. Bye.
Ramble: (much more happier) I ate a watermelon, and all the seeds fell out, and when I went to pick them up, they all began to shout.
Ramble & boys: YOU (YOU'SE) ATE MY (ME) MOMMA!
Crutchy: What a great song.
Ramble: I know!
Marbles: bye guys. (stands up)
Prankster: I don't know about you guys, but I could go for a Klondike bar, Ramble can I borrow some money.
Ramble: What am I gunna get?
Prankster: how 'bout you give me some money and I won't tell Marbles that it was you that killed her goldfish "Goldy"
Ramble: Prank, we were in the second grade, I doubt she even rememb-
Marbles: Ramble did WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Prankster & Ramble: O.O ack!
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