I know, I'm finally back. I won't waste time talking.

Thank you: to all who reviewers. 191! I'm hoping to break 200.

Disclaimer: I don't own newsies, only Disney does. So there ya go. I do own Prankster, Marbles and Ramble though.

Lucky Episode 13: Stand by your Snipeshooter

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(Prankster, Marbles and Ramble are sitting at their desks. Spot, Jack, Mush, Race are still tied up. The others are no where to be found)

Prankster: Before we start this show, I have the pleasure of introducing the new House Band "The Headlines" So if you all could introduce yourselves.

Punky: I'm Punky, on lead vocals.

Pinch: Pinch, on bass and back up guitar.

Dutchy: Dutchy on drums.

Bolt: Bolt, on lead guitar.

Hades: I'm Hades on Triangle.

Dodge: and I'm Dodge, I'm the D.J./sound techie.

Marbles: Ladies and Gentlemen, The Headlines.

The Headlines and Ramble: I ate a watermelon, and all the seeds fell out, and when I went to pick 'em up they all began to shout.

The Headlines, Ramble, & boys: YOU (YOU'SE) ATE MY (ME) MOMMA!

Prankster: Very good, now let's roll Snipeshooter on out here.

(Hotshot rolls him out)

Snipes: O.O Cowboy?!?!?! YER ALIVE?!?!?!

Jack: Yeah.

Prankster: Ok Snipes here's the deal, you answer our questions and be a good little boy and we'll set you lose.

(Tied down newsies scoff)

Prankster: (flashes pinto melting look) Hey it's a party backstage. Dutchy & Boots have jobs here! (To Snipes) So you can be like him, (points to Spot) or him, (points to Dutchy, who happens to be twirling his drumsticks.) Understand?

Snipes: yes?

Ramble: Ok, I'll start, this question is from Sureshot Higgins, (everyone looks at Race)

Race: O.O What?

Ramble: (continuing) she wants to know, "What is your obsession with stealing Race's cigars?"

Snipes: He sleeps in da bunk next ta me, it's a convenience thing.

Ramble: Ok, this is from Klover, she wants to know, "what's with the name and if is cause of great aim why aren't you in Brooklyn?"

Snipes: Well, I used to live in Brooklyn, until….(looks at Spot)

Marbles: Until what?

Snipes: Until well, Spot got caught in a cross-fire and it hit him in the..well…you know.

(All tied down newsies, Dutchy included, cross their legs)

Marbles: Is that why Spot's impotent?….YOU made Spot impotent!

Mush: O.O….never heard THAT story!

Spot: That's a lie!

Prankster: Moving on! This question is from, Falco Colon, (one of our LOVELY camera persons) she wants to know, "If he had to trade places with one person ANYWHERE in the world in ANYTIME period..who would it be?"

Snipes: hmmm….good question….(thinks) I'm thinking, I'd be Tammy Wynette.

(Dutchy does cymbal crash)

Prankster: oh you're kidding, now really.

Snipes: I told you, Tammy Wynette.

Marbles: Tammy Wynette…the country star….stand by your man….country star?

Snipes: Yep.

Ramble: no Snipes, that's not sad at all, what's the next question?

Prankster: Oh it's from (reads it) ohhh (sighs) CARDSSSSSS!!!!! Come read your questions. (to the group) I'll be by the snack table if ya need me.

Bookie: (runs in) Prankster? You weren't planning on going to Butterfly for the snack table?

Prankster: Well yeah why?

Bookie: Well, she's cleaning out her locker and going away.

Prankster: Why?

Bookie: Dutchy bit her.

Prankster: He BIT her. (Looks at band)

Bolt: Don't look at us, we can't control 'im.

Prankster: (sighs) I'm gunna try and catch her. Cards! Read your questions. (runs backstage, behind the curtain you can hear Prankster yelling) Butterfly, Dutchy didn't mean it….he's only a musician!

Cards: (comes in, picks up the questions) ok Snipes, first question…is from me…I wanna know, "What colour are Skittery's Long underwear?"

Ramble: (points) hey Marbles, Cards spelt color wrong!

Marbles: She not American stupid.

Ramble: Well, why do non-American's add the 'u'?

Marbles: I don't know….to piss you off.

Ramble: Ohhh

Cards: Excuse me! Can I interview Snipes now?

Marbles: yes.

Ramble: Sorry.

Snipes: well…..they're pink…I think…I dunno, neva really looked before ya know what I'm sayin'?

Cards: yes, second, "How many fingers does teh average person have?"

Ramble: Hey! She spelled 'the' funny too, is that another Non-American spelling trick.

Marbles: No, I think that's a typo.

Ramble: ohhhh

Cards: DO YOU MIND?!?!?!?

Ramble: Mind what?

Marbles: She wants you do be quiet.

Ramble: Ohhh….well why didn't she just say that?

Cards: :0

Marbles: Way ahead of you Cards, (to Ramble) Ramble, Spots ears need flicking.

Ramble: ok. (flick) (flick) (flick)

Spot: Why is it that whenever Ramble's being stupid, me ears get flicked.

Race: Probably has to do with the reason our sexual orientations our questioned every episode.

Snipes: The average person has 8 fingers. 'Cause two of 'em are thumbs.

Cards: "Will you steal Ramble's Crayons and eat the Tickle me Pink?"

Snipes: My arms are tied, an' I don't wanna eat crayon.

Marbles: Yeah, Ramble did that when we were seven….(shakes head) not a good experience.

Cards: "Would you eat a goat?"

Ramble: Would you, could you on a boat.

Everyone: O.O

Ramble: What? Am I the ONLY person who read Dr. Seuss?

Snipes: I guess I would, I mean, it's meat right?

Cards: "Should Dutchy get a rasberry flavored condom?"

Snipes: What?

Marbles: Hey! This show is PG-13. Let's make sure to keep it that way.

Snipes: I don't understand.

Ramble: ya don't want to.

Cards: "Should Specs collect pennies?"

Snipes: sure?

Cards: "Should Crutchy be made a eunich and thus prohibited from reproducing?"

Snipes: What's an eunich?

Ramble: I don't know. (looks at Marbles)

Marbles: Well, first off, it's spelled wrong, its Eunuch. And second, it's a castrated man.

Snipes: ohhhh, ok, yes.

Cards: "Should David be "dropped" into the river?"

Snipes: most definitely.

Cards: "Would you get your belly button pierced?"

Snipes: no

Cards: "Will you launch yourself off the Eiffel tower and bounce?"

Snipes: I don't think so.

Cards: "Are you planning on a hostile take over of Havana?"

Snipes: no

Cards: "did you know you have an ugly mug?"

Snipes: O.O what?

Marbles: ok that's enough.

Cards: But I'm not done.

Marbles: Oh yes you are.

Cards: but you insult the guests all the time.

Ramble: There's a difference between guests and Spot.

Prankster: (walking in) What'd I miss?

Marbles: Everything.

Prankster: ok. (to Cards) Back at your post.

Cards: ok. (leaves)

Prankster: ok this is from Galaxy, she wants to know, "Are you and Mush related?"

Snipes: not that I know of.

Prankster: again Galaxy, "Why are you a newsie?"

Snipes: 'Cause I got nothing else to do.

Prankster: Galaxy, "Why did Oscar throw you on the ground it's not like you did anything to him?"

Snipes: Actually, we've had a rivalry for the longest time.

Ramble: why?

Snipes: (shrugs) I don't know.

Prankster: Again Galaxy, "Which do you like better Key lime pie or Cheesecake?"

Snipes: Cheesecake

Prankster: Galaxy, "Do you like Starbucks or Caraboo?"

Snipes: What's Starbucks?

Marbles: an evil corporation.

Snipes: oh.

Prankster: Galaxy, "Are you friends with Les?"

Snipes: Yeah, he's nice.

Prankster: last one from Galaxy, "Do you like David as a leader?"

Snipes: NO!

Marbles: I'll read, ok these questions are from Googoodoll, "Do you know that smoking can cause lung cancer and heart disease and most young children die from second hand smoke?"

Snipes: yes?

Marbles: "Have you ever graduated from D.A.R.E (hint, hint)?"

Snipes: What?

Prankster: ya wouldn't get it.

Marbles: "What is so exciting about a crooked politician anyway?"

Snipes: They sell.

Ramble: I wanna read, this is from Seraph, "How old is he?"

Snipes: 14.

Ramble: "When did he get hooked on cigars?"

Snipes: When Kid Blink gave me one.

Prankster: I should've known that whore!

Marbles: PRANKSTER!

Prankster: sorry it's true.

Ramble: ok this is from Spikes, "ok what's it like to be one of the younger newsies?"

Snipes: (shrugs) it's adequate.

Ramble: this is from Pinch, "will you marry me- our kids can grow up to be midgets in the circus"

Snipes: ummmm no

Ramble: "Do Snitch's feet stink.. because I saw him wash them and they never got any cleaner"

Snipes: I never looked.

Ramble: Again Pinch, "How tall are you?"

Snipes: 4"8'

Ramble: "What is holding Dutchy back from his love for Specs?"

Snipes: Probably his fear of rejection.

Prankster: yes that's always hard.

Dutchy: (from his drumset) Excuse me, still in the room.

Marbles: Yes, Dutchy we can see you.

Snipes: it could be he's not Gay.

Marbles: no that can't be it.

Ramble: Ok last one from Pinch, "Are you related to the Delancys?"

Snipes: No, we're not.

Prankster: Ok these are from Kaylee, "why is your voice so low, yet you're a shrimp?"

Ramble: He's not a shrimp…he's a King Prawn!

Marbles: no more Muppets for you.

Prankster: "do you have a crush on boots, cuz you're always going out of your way to be near him?"

Snipes: no.

Prankster: "did you know that you have the least fans of all the newsies in new yawk?"

Snipes: I may not 'ave fans, but at least I can git up. (everyone looks at Spot)

Spot: yeah, let's all make fun of me. Next yer gunna make fun of my cane. Aren't ya?

Prankster: "did you ever get the urge to shave medda's head?"

Snipes: no, I haven't.

Prankster: "did you ever get the urge to grab les's wooden sword and slap him across the face with it?"

Snipes: Yes.

Prankster: "does David irritate you?"

Snipes: yes.

Prankster: "do you plan to be a pirate when all grown up?"

Snipes: Actually, I wanna be a country star!

Marbles: a country star?

Snipes: Yep

Ramble: Explains the Tammy Wynette thing.

Prankster: Guess that's your secret, Ok this is from Void, "do you like badgers?"

Snipes: sure why not?

Prankster: Again void, "Do you think Dutchy's in denial?"

Snipes: Yeah.

Prankster: "What's the funniest thing in the world?"

Snipes: David thinking he can lead us.

Prankster: That is a funny thought.

Ramble: What's the next question?

Prankster: There are no more.

Ramble: That's it?

Prankster: that's it.

Marbles: Send your questions for Les.

Ramble: Can we sing?

Prankster: yep, remember Les will be on next.

Headlines & Ramble: I ate a watermelon and all the seeds fell out, and when I went to pick 'em up they all began to shout.

Ramble & Boys: YOU (YOU'SE) ATE MY (ME) MOMMA!

Snipes: Hey that song's cool.

Ramble: Isn't it?

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Well that's it. Les is the next chapter. Oh just so you all know. There is nothing wrong with country music, so don't flame me calling me an insensitive bitch. (for one thing I already know I am, and second, I make fun of ALL music)

Thanks for reading. Bye.