Harry's Social Cataclysm

In our last chapter, Harry Potter was accused of being gay and Anne RaisinBran is spreading it all over school. Hermione is also dating Dumbledore. While Ron is dating Haley Giggles *giggles* And Julia is still dating Draco Malfoy because they are the best couple and they are not allowed to break up ^-^

Anne: HARRY POTTER'S GAY! HARRY POTTER'S GAY! EVERYONE COME AND LOOK AND POINT AND LAUGH AT HARRY POTTER AT THE 'HARRY POTTER IS GAY PEP RALLY'!

Ron: Wow Harry, your so popular you have your own pep rally! But really, you should have told me you were gay first-

Harry: I'M NOT GAAAAAAY! I'M STRAIGHT AS A RULER!

Haley: *thwaps Harry with a ruler* *giggles*

Harry: I fucking HATE YOU HALEY!

Haley: Thank you!

Harry: ALL YOU DO IS GIGGLE! AND WASTE MY MONEY ON SHIT! AND THWAP ME WITH RULERS!

Haley: I know! *giggles*

Harry: How come you don't do that with Ron?

Haley: Ron's cute and he doesn't have hygiene problems like you Harry *giggles*

Anne: I WROTE THAT ARTICLE! YAY! *throws Harry's Hygiene problem articles at people to read*

(everyone read the articles and makes fun of Harry's smelly self)

(Draco and Julia knock Harry over on the ground, stand on him and make out on top of him)

Harry: EEEEEEEEK! EWWWWWWW!

Anne: HARRY POTTER EVEN SHRIEKS LIKE A GIRL!

(everyone laughs)

Dean: I love you Anne!

Anne: I love you Dean!

(Anne and Dean make out)

(Harry Potter runs into his dorm room)

Harry: THAT'S IT I'M GOING HOME! I'm going to go live with the Dursley's under the staircase.

(Hedwig flies in the window and Harry gets a letter from the Dursley's that says: We hate you Harry, because of you we moved out of number 4 Privet Drive and we are not going to tell you where we moved! HA HA!)

(Hermione and Dumbledore fall out of the closet and they are making out)

Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *stands there with his mouth open not screaming anymore*

Dumbledore: I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP HARRY!

(Harry runs to Hagrid's hut)

Harry: HAGRID! HAGRID! I JUST SAW HERMIONE AND DUMBLEDORE MAKING OUT!

Hagrid: WHAT?! *throws a rock cake at the wall and his hut falls down* oh...whoops. I WILL KILL DUMBELDORE! OH wait- I love Dumbledore. I WILL KILL HERMIONE

Harry: NO!

Hagrid: Look 'Arry boy, you can't destroy a man's love for another man!

Harry: YES I CAN! *runs out of Hagrid's hut...wait...Hagrid's hut isn't there anymore, so Harry just runs back into the boys dorm and starts punching his pillow* DIE! DIE! DIE!

Pillow: Dude, stop it your hurting me

Harry: AAAAAAH! *throws the pillow across the room* I HATE YOU!

Pillow: Owch.

Harry: EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE! I WANNA DIE!

Pillow: But a minute ago you wanted me to die!

Harry: TEENAGE HORMONES CAN DO LOTS OF THINGS!

Pillow: Oh, I see.

Harry: Hey, Pillow, do you know where Dumbledore and Hermione went?

Pillow: Yeah, they went to his office to make out some more and to do it

Harry: Do what?

Pillow: DO IT!

Harry: Do what?!

Pillow Never mind

Harry: Pillow, I just think you and me can get along, I'm going to bring you everywhere!

Pillow: Can I have a name?

Harry: Uh sure, I'm naming you Hermione, so I can snuggle and make out with you whenever I want and not feel pitiful!

Pillow: Whateva

Anne: OMG! MUST TELL THE WHOLE OF EUROPE AND SOCK WORLD! HARRY POTTER IS IN LOVE WITH A PILLOW!

Harry: NOOOOOOOO! STOOOOOOOOOOP! *throws pillow at Anne*

Pillow: Owch.

Anne: *falls down flat on her face*

Harry: Ha, I got you now!

Anne: *takes out Mega Phone and screams 'HARRY POTTER IS IN LOVE WITH A PILLOW'*

(All of Hogwarts laughs at Harry)

Harry: *falls on knees takes out a knife and slits his wrists and screams at sky* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Darn, wrong vein GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hagrid: *bursts into dorm room with Hermione in his clench*

Harry: HERMIONE!

Hermione: HARRY!

Hagrid: DUMBLEDORE!

Dumbledore: Um...pigeon?

Harry: Do you love me Hermione? TELL ME YOU DO OH SEXY ONE!

Pillow: I love you Harry.

Hermione: No, Harry I do not love you, I am in love with Dumbledore who is ten times my age!

Hagrid: SAY DUMBLEDORE AGAIN AND YOUR TOAST!

Harry: YAY! I LIKE TOAST! I mean- NOOOOOOOOOOO! *throws pillow at Hagrid*

Pillow: Owch.

Hermione is in the middle between two lovers! Hagrid seeks revenge on Hermione to get his loved one Dumbledore! Harry Potter is more of a loser then he has ever been before! But atleast he has his pillow! Haley Giggles and Ron are getting along too well! Draco and Julia are getting married in June! Anne and Dean make out too much! What shall happen in the NEXT CHAPTER?!

Harry: *opens his mouth with fear like he did earlier in the chapter (aka the Mr. Finn pose)*

Pillow: Owch.

REVIEW OR DIE!