Cauchemar Part 10: Breaking Point
By koaladeb
Disclaimer info in part 1
Calleigh and Horatio walked back up to his office in silence, each postponing what was sure to be a blowout until they were in private. As soon as the door to Horatio's office closed, Calleigh threw back her shoulders and drew her self up to her full height, ready to put up a good fight. There was no way she was going to let Horatio coddle her like some kind of helpless woman.
They squared off, Horatio starting the conversation. "I want someone with you at all times. You are not to go anywhere alone or without notifying me or someone else first. We're also going to get some kind of police protection for you. And you're not going back to your apartment. You'll stay with me."
"Unacceptable," Calleigh answered. "I'm not a kindergartener, Horatio. I don't have to ask permission every time I need to go somewhere or be required to use the buddy system. As for where I stay, my apartment is perfectly fine. I'm not moving in with you or anyone else just because you think it's in my best interest."
"This is about more than your best interest," Horatio replied. "This is about your life, which happens to be at risk because there is a serial killer out there who is going to come after you."
"He hasn't so far. He hasn't done anything that would imply that he's going to, either. Maybe he's not after me specifically. Maybe I'm connected to this but I'm not the real target."
"I believe that just about as much as I believe that Castro is an altruistic benefactor," Horatio spat out. "All you have to do is look at any one of the victims to know this guy wants you dead. I'm not going to let you out that door without some kind of protection."
"You're not going to let me do anything." Calleigh snapped back. "This is my life, Horatio, and I think that the final say in how I live it belongs to me."
"Not when you're making decisions that put your life at risk," Horatio said, his voice rising. "Think about it Calleigh, You yourself said last night that you felt something was off in your apartment. What if he's been there? How else would he know about the haircuts? Breaking in to your apartment and checking the magazines there is a much more feasible explanation then you leaving one lying around somewhere that he happened to find."
"There is no proof that anyone was ever in my apartment," Calleigh responded, her voice rising to match Horatio's. "I told you that last night. I would know."
"Would you?" Horatio challenged. Last night he had been satisfied with Calleigh's assertion that no one had been in her apartment, but that was when her status as a possible victim was a remote possibility. Now that he knew she was this guy's primary target he wasn't satisfied with her flimsy assurances. "He's made it pretty clear that he's capable of committing a murder without leaving any evidence behind. What makes you think that breaking and entering would be any different?"
Calleigh stood still, fists clenched at her side. Horatio had never doubted her instincts or abilities before, and his lack of confidence in her judgement was like a slap in the face. "We're getting nowhere here. I think that we should contact the local police and get their input before we continue. They might have an opinion on the matter too."
Horatio nodded curtly. She had a point. It was useless to keep going around in circles without knowing how much protection the police were willing to offer. He motioned towards the chairs as he walked behind his desk and picked up the phone and placed a call. He wasn't too surprised to see Calleigh chose to remain standing. Sitting in front of his desk with him behind it gave up too much power.
Calleigh watched as whoever Horatio was talking to fought her battle for her. Horatio was growing increasingly angry as he realized that the police were not going to offer the kind of protection he thought Calleigh needed. She suspected it was going to be like this, that's why she suggested the phone call. All they had was a theory and circumstantial evidence to support it. They had no clue who the killer was and no concrete connection that tied him to Calleigh. After a great deal of yelling, Horatio slammed the phone down. He gave her an accusatory glance. "You knew this was going to happen."
Calleigh shrugged, keeping her expression neutral. "I guessed. Saves us some arguing, anyway. What did they offer?"
Horatio wavered between anger, concern, frustration, and defeat. "A patrol car doing a cursory search of your neighborhood every half hour. If we get anything concrete, like a name or a specific threat against you, you'll get a car outside your apartment at all times and an escort to and from work. It's not enough. I'd bet my life that he knows where you live, but I won't bet yours that he doesn't."
"It's not your choice." Calleigh was adamant. "Even if he does know where I live, he doesn't know that we're on to him yet. Right now, he thinks he is in control, and that is how it's going to stay. We know too much and too little to tip our hand. If I move out, he'll know we suspect something. I'll be safe with a patrol car."
"Just because he hadn't attacked you or made a threat doesn't mean that you're not going to be his next target," Horatio answered, voice rising again. "If you won't stay somewhere else, then you will have someone stay with you. No arguments."
Calleigh's eyes narrowed as she considered Horatio's demand. How much was she willing to fight him on this? She didn't like the idea of being a target, but Calleigh knew she was right about the message it would send if she stopped staying in her apartment. At the same time, it would probably be in her best interest to have some backup with her should the killer decide to put in an appearance. But even though Horatio said that "someone" needed to stay with her, he probably intended to take the role of protector himself. That wouldn't do. Horatio in her apartment? Sleeping one room away from her? Before their recent problems, Calleigh would have jumped at the idea, her only concern that having him so close would cause her to internally combust. But now, with the tension and anger that had come between them, Calleigh was worried that any prolonged confrontation with Horatio would destroy them both. As she considered her answer, the phone rang. Horatio picked up. "Horatio," he snapped.
Calleigh could recognize the voice from across the room. Yelina. "Someone woke up grumpy," she heard her say. "Just checking to make sure we're on for tonight." Calleigh was not about to stand here and listen to them make plans for a date. She turned around and started to leave.
Horatio asked Yelina to hold on for a moment and called out to Calleigh. "Where do you think you're going? We're not through here."
Calleigh turned back around. "Yes we are. Go ahead and finish making you plans for tonight. I'll be doing the same. I accept your condition and I'll make sure someone is in my apartment with me. I'm sure Eric or Speed is free." That said she left Horatio's office, closing the door behind her.
Horatio bit back the urge to yell at her to get back in his office. He was planning on staying with her himself, but Yelina's phone call along with Calleigh's ire killed that idea quickly. Gathering his composure, he picked up the phone again. "Sorry, Yelina," he said. "You caught me at a bad time."
"So I gather," she said, chuckling. "I know you're under a lot of pressure with this killer out there loose, but you promised that you would make these family dinners a priority. I let you slide last week, but missing again tonight isn't acceptable."
Horatio was torn. He had promised to be there for the dinners and some quality time with Ray J. And he had missed last week to work on the case. But Calleigh was in trouble, and he wouldn't be able to focus on anything else until she was safe. He wavered for a moment, considering his own emotions and Calleigh's, then offered a compromise. "I know. How about I come over for dinner but leave early? I want to be there and spend time with you and Ray J, but I need to get back to work on this as soon as I can."
"Deal." He finished making plans for the time and said goodbye. Now he had to track Calleigh back down and finish laying down some rules.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horatio tracked Calleigh to trace, where she was helping Speed make phone calls to track down the distributor or department store that had sold the robes. He stepped in and was about to ask Speed to give them a moment, but Calleigh stopped him. "There's nothing left to discuss, Horatio," she said, preempting him. "I've accepted your condition. Speed and Eric are alternating nights on my couch. I'm not going to be home alone. Case closed."
Horatio controlled his anger to avoid a scene in front of Speed and the other lab workers. "No it isn't, Calleigh, because that killer is still out there. And until we've caught him, I need be sure that you're safe."
"I am safe. I spend almost every waking moment here or at a crime scene, surrounded by police. I doubt that whoever this is would be bold enough to grab me out of CSI. When I go home, I will be accompanied by either Speed or Eric. You already set up a patrol car to keep an eye on the neighborhood. There's nothing else that can be done. Every precaution, remember? We need to stop arguing about this and get to work identifying this guy before he kills another innocent bystander."
Horatio didn't want to admit defeat, and they both knew it. But Calleigh was right again. They did need to get back to work and arguing over the specifics of her protection was keeping them from identifying who it was doing this. He dropped his head for a moment, signaling a hold on the conversation. He took a couple of seep breaths and looked up again. "This is tabled, for now. Speed and Eric are both going home with you early tonight to look for any evidence that he has been in your apartment. I'll be stopping by later to continue this discussion and to help search. I'll take the first shift tonight and the Speed/Eric rotation can begin tomorrow. That's final."
Calleigh scowled and nodded her assent. It was the best offer Calleigh was going to get, and she knew it. She should have known better than to think that Horatio would let go of her slip yesterday about feeling that something was off in her apartment. Besides, it was time to put and end to the semi-public display that had just occurred. They were getting looks from about half a dozen lab workers. Horatio glared around at everyone, and one by one they went back to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Calleigh went home with Eric, spent after her long day. She had cracked the case, become a target, fought with Horatio, and then come up empty on her search for a name. Her former boss in New Orleans had searched their records, but had not come up with any possible suspects. Calleigh checked her watch. Speed was going to meet up with her and Eric as soon as he picked up the pizza they had ordered before leaving work. When they walked in the front door, Calleigh again had a sense of not-quite- rightness. It was as though someone had been there moments before. She shook it off as nerves and opened the door wider for Eric to follow. They set their kits down in the living room and Calleigh set about welcoming her guest. "Would you like anything to drink?" she offered.
Eric shook his head, looking around the living room. "Nah. Speed's picking up sodas along with the pizza. We might as well get started. What do you want to look for?"
Calleigh sighed. Eric was serious about looking for evidence that their killer had been in her apartment. Speed probably would too. She knew that Horatio had been up to no good when he had spoken to them earlier. He probably read them the riot act. She shrugged and looked around the room. "How about we dust the photo frames and the picture albums. If this guy knows me from Louisiana, he might look there for some kind of connection."
Eric nodded and they got down to work. Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang. It was Speed with the food. Calleigh called for a break and the three friends sat in the kitchen and dove in. Eric caught Speed up on what they had done so far.
"We dusted all the photos and the outside of the picture albums. So far, all we've gotten is some of Calleigh's fingerprints." He looked over at Calleigh. "Why is Horatio so sure that we'll find something here?"
Calleigh let out some of her frustration. "Because I made some random comment about thinking there was something off about my apartment and he took it to need the guy had been here. Honestly, I keep telling him that I've checked it out and nothing is out of place, but he just won't listen to me!"
Speed shook his head. "H is worried about you. We all are. We have no clue who this guy is or why he's doing this. And we don't want anything bad to happen to you. It'd be hell to try to find someone to replace you around the lab"
Calleigh laughed and tried to relax. "I know. Thanks guys."
Eric smiled and attempted to change the subject. "So tell me, Calleigh, is there any part of this superstition that tells you how to avoid Cauchemar?"
"Sure," Calleigh replied, smiling at the distraction. "You can put salt under your pillow, or place beans under your bed in circle. There's also the broom in the corner, screen in the window tactic, sleeping on your stomach, and, of course, prayers before bedtime."
Eric laughed. "Beans in a circle under the bead? You might want to try that."
"No thank you," Calleigh replied. "It may keep Cauchemar away, but it would sure be an open invitation for insects and other critters that I dislike even more." The all had a good laugh. "I'm done here. How about I check the bathroom for prints and try to find that powder for a comparison while you guys finish the pizza, ok?"
The guys nodded and Calleigh headed off for the other end of her apartment. She heard them talking in the kitchen and smiled when she heard Eric laugh at something Speed said. As long as she was being forced to print and search her won apartment, she might as well organize the stuff under the bathroom sink that had escaped her attention during her cleaning spree. She sorted through bottles and jars, dusting for prints, finding nothing, and putting everything back in a more organized fashion. At the back of the cabinet she found what she was looking for. The jar of talcum powder was half empty, but still had plenty in it. She looked at the jar, remembering the county fairs and how fun they had been. She opened the jar and inhaled the scent of her childhood, enjoying a few minutes of peace before closing it and bringing it to the other room. She handed the jar to Eric. "This should be plenty. Save some for me when you're through, ok?"
He smiled and took the jar, placing it by his kit. When he was finished, he was going straight back to the lab to confirm that it was the same powder as what they had found on their victims. The three friends continued fingerprinting, looking at everything that someone might pick up or touch, and by ten that night they hadn't found anything useful. Calling it a night, Eric packed up his kit and headed for the door. "I guess you were right after all, Calleigh." He said. "He hasn't been here." Calleigh smiled and let him out, waiting until he got into his car before closing the door. It was almost shut when she heard a car enter the parking lot. She opened the door again, seeing Horatio's hummer pull in. She waited in the doorway until he started up the steps of her porch then swung the door open for him.
"Come on in and join the party." She said.
Horatio followed her into the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him. "Was that Eric I saw leaving?" He asked.
"Yes," Calleigh answered. "We finished printing everything in sight. He took a jar of talc back to the lab to run some tests."
Horatio nodded and greeted Speed, who immediately stood and went over to his kit. "If you're here, I guess I'll be on my way out." He said. He began packing up his stuff.
Calleigh offered Horatio a drink, and he accepted, asking for some water. Calleigh opened up the refrigerator for the first time that night to grab a bottle. What she saw made her freeze. On the shelf right in front of her face rested a freshly-cut Louisiana blue iris.
Horatio noticed her stiffen and walked over to see what she was staring at. When he saw the flower, he called Speed over to the kitchen. Horatio took a napkin off the counter and picked up the iris. There was a note attached, which simply read "For my wildflower queen." Speed started dusting the note while Calleigh excused herself and went into the living room. Horatio followed her with his eyes, but he stayed in the kitchen with Speed, placing another call to the police.
When the med came back into the living room, Calleigh looked up. Speed looked excited, Horatio was deceptively calm. She looked over at Speed, asking silently what he had found. "A fingerprint," he said, excitement over the new break reflected in his voice. "I'm going to the lab right now to run it though the system." Calleigh nodded and motioned for Horatio to sit while she walked Speed out. She passed Speed a piece of paper with a name on it as she opened the door. He looked at the paper and nodded, silently promising to run it against the print. Calleigh locked the door behind him and turned again to the living room and one tightly coiled Horatio Caine.
"I called the police." He said as Calleigh took a seat across from him. "They'll have a car here within the hour. Until then, we need to talk some more. Does the note make any sense to you?"
Calleigh laughed bitterly. "Nothing much makes sense to me anymore, but yes, I understood what it meant. I gave Speed the name before he left." She looked up to see Horatio waiting for her to explain. "My childhood nickname was wildflower. The only people who called me that were family and this kid named Trevor Wilson. I grew up with him. He came from old money, my mother loved him. Anyway, he asked me to prom my senior year of high school. The year I was prom queen. I told him that I couldn't go with him. I had already made plans to go with a friend of mine-a great guy who was smart and sensitive. The only problem was that he was black. My dad didn't understand, he actually slapped me when he found out. My mom just cried and asked why I would do this to her, why I wouldn't go with Trevor. He was a jerk, Horatio, always rubbing his family name and family fortune in everyone's face, acting like he owned the world and everyone in it. He didn't take my refusal too lightly. After prom, Casey, the guy I went with, was walking me back home when Trevor and a bunch of his friends jumped us. Trevor held me down while his friends beat up Casey. They would have killed him if someone hadn't stopped and chased them off. We filed charges against them the next morning. Trevor got probation because he didn't participate in the beating, he just restrained me. Also, he gave the DA the names of his friends who had helped in his little "lesson." Afterwards, he just cracked up. His family sent him to a hospital in Lafayette. I left home shortly after and haven't thought of it since."
Horatio listened quietly. He could understand why Calleigh hadn't thought of him when she had pieced the other facts together. She hadn't seen or heard from this guy in over a decade and suddenly he shows up, killing innocent people and intruding into her life. It didn't make any sense. He only had one question left. "Why the iris?"
"It's the state wildflower of Louisiana. Always been a favorite of mine."
"Why? I always figured you for the steel magnolia type."
"Nah, refined and stately was never my style. Now the iris.that was me. Rugged, unpretentious, its true home is in the swamps, but it's strong enough to thrive anywhere."
Horatio couldn't help the smile. It fit her perfectly. Beautiful, delicate, but with a hidden strength and determination. Their moment of peace was about to end, though. This Wilson guy had sent a clear message to Calleigh. All bets were now off and it was time to take some additional measures to ensure that he couldn't get to her. "Calleigh," he said, getting her attention. "It's time for you to go someplace else. You should stay with me tonight, I don't want you staying where he can find you." He saw the explosion coming a mile away.
Calleigh's eyes narrowed, the only visible sign of the battle to come. "You don't want.this isn't your decision. Like I told you before, I'm staying. There is no way that I am going to run in fear of a scum like Trevor Wilson."
"He's killed three people, Calleigh!" Horatio exclaimed. "And I'll be damned if you're going to be the fourth!"
Calleigh stood up from the couch and faced Horatio, furious. "I repeat. This is not your decision. I'm not some damsel in distress that needs rescuing from the big bad guy. I'm fully capable of protecting myself."
That was the final straw for Horatio. "I don't know what's been up with you recently Calleigh," he said, standing to face her, "but I'm tired of this independent act you've been pulling recently. This has more to do with you not wanting to be around me than with your own safety. I've asked you before and I'm asking you again-why do you keep pushing me away?"
Calleigh tried to act innocent, unwilling to delve into this topic with Horatio. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been doing anything of the sort."
"Don't play that game with me," Horatio shot back. "It's been going on for weeks, probably longer but I just didn't see it. Haven't you seen me trying to reach out? Every time I try to get more personal than case files and superficial pleasantries you slam the door in my face."
It was suddenly too much. Calleigh had finally reached her breaking point and she could no longer control the words that she had bit back for the past two months. "Fine," she said bitterly. "You want to know? I was just playing by the rules you set up two months ago. What do you think you were doing to me when you went off pursuing Yelina like she was some kind of siren? You didn't have the time of day for anyone else. I depended on you-for encouragement, for sanity, to keep my demons at bay. You were my rock, Horatio, and suddenly you were unavailable."
"Well I'm available now."
"Yeah? For how long, Horatio?"
"For as long as you need me."
"No, for as long as you decide I'm worth your time or until you have something or someone better to focus your attention on. I'm tired of you deciding when and how we relate to each other. It's second nature, I suppose, for you to have all the power in a relationship. But that's not how I operate. It's not enough for me anymore. I won't be cast aside and then picked up again like some toy that you feel like playing with when it suits you. I have my own needs, and if I can't depend on you to be there for me when I need you, then I'm going to damn well make sure that I won't need you to be."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Horatio asked, not able to repress the cold shock that went through him with Calleigh's last comment.
"Wake up, Horatio," Calleigh answered, too wrapped up in letting her feelings loose to notice how her words were affecting Horatio. "That change you've been talking about? That was me, learning to stand on my own two feet and not leaning on you. Because that's what it was-dependence. And it was mutual, up until the point when you decided that you didn't need me anymore. Well guess what? I don't need you anymore, either. I learned that I don't need you to be my rock for me, I don't need you to be my mentor, looking out for the potholes in the road and walking me over them, because my eyes are open and I can see them for myself now. You don't have to hold my hand for me anymore, Horatio."
"But what if I want to? What if I want you to depend on me, and me on you?"
"You don't. Otherwise you wouldn't have pulled away from me like you did. I think that it will be liberating for you, Horatio, to not be tied down by me anymore. And there's no question in my mind that you won't miss depending on someone else. But I could be wrong. If you miss it so much, you should try exploring the concept with your girlfriend."
"Yelina is not my girlfriend." Horatio stated matter-of-factly, not sure why Calleigh had brought up Yelina at all.
"Oh, Sorry. Did you two get engaged somewhere along the way and decide that no one was important enough to announce it to?" Calleigh couldn't help the sarcasm that escaped her.
Horatio decided to put an end to this digression, once and for all. "No, we decided that we were better off staying friends. God-she's dating someone over in vice now and I couldn't be happier for her. What does that have to do with you not talking to me? Why haven't we been able to get our friendship back the way it was?" He steered the conversation back to its original focus: Calleigh's distance.
Calleigh remained silent for a moment, absorbing the shock of Horatio's announcement. So he wasn't dating Yelina anymore. Great for him. But it still didn't make up for the fact that he had tossed her aside as though she were nothing to him. She took a deep breath and answered, fatigue evident in her hushed voice. "Because I can't go back to who I was, Horatio. I can't leave my heart out in the open waiting for you to come and take care of it for me. You hurt me, Horatio, and I'm tired of being hurt."
Horatio stared at her, unsure how to answer in the face of her brutal honesty. Calleigh continued. "I think its time for you to go. The police will be here any minute and I'll be safe with them outside. I'll let you out." She went to the front door and unlocked it, pulling it wide for him to exit.
He didn't want to leave her alone, but he was afraid that continuing their argument would only hurt Calleigh more. He was still in too much shock to figure out what had just happened. And whatever it was, Calleigh looked almost broken. He felt his own heart constrict at the pain he saw in her eyes. Pain that he had placed there. He slowly walked out the door, noticing the police cruiser pulling up across the street. Turning to look at her, Horatio took her small hand in his own. "I don't want to lose you." He said it quietly, his fear choking the words even as he said them.
Calleigh pulled her hand out of his, missing its warmth as soon as she did so. She felt a tear run down her cheek as she answered. "You lost me weeks ago; you just didn't care enough to see it."
Calleigh and Horatio walked back up to his office in silence, each postponing what was sure to be a blowout until they were in private. As soon as the door to Horatio's office closed, Calleigh threw back her shoulders and drew her self up to her full height, ready to put up a good fight. There was no way she was going to let Horatio coddle her like some kind of helpless woman.
They squared off, Horatio starting the conversation. "I want someone with you at all times. You are not to go anywhere alone or without notifying me or someone else first. We're also going to get some kind of police protection for you. And you're not going back to your apartment. You'll stay with me."
"Unacceptable," Calleigh answered. "I'm not a kindergartener, Horatio. I don't have to ask permission every time I need to go somewhere or be required to use the buddy system. As for where I stay, my apartment is perfectly fine. I'm not moving in with you or anyone else just because you think it's in my best interest."
"This is about more than your best interest," Horatio replied. "This is about your life, which happens to be at risk because there is a serial killer out there who is going to come after you."
"He hasn't so far. He hasn't done anything that would imply that he's going to, either. Maybe he's not after me specifically. Maybe I'm connected to this but I'm not the real target."
"I believe that just about as much as I believe that Castro is an altruistic benefactor," Horatio spat out. "All you have to do is look at any one of the victims to know this guy wants you dead. I'm not going to let you out that door without some kind of protection."
"You're not going to let me do anything." Calleigh snapped back. "This is my life, Horatio, and I think that the final say in how I live it belongs to me."
"Not when you're making decisions that put your life at risk," Horatio said, his voice rising. "Think about it Calleigh, You yourself said last night that you felt something was off in your apartment. What if he's been there? How else would he know about the haircuts? Breaking in to your apartment and checking the magazines there is a much more feasible explanation then you leaving one lying around somewhere that he happened to find."
"There is no proof that anyone was ever in my apartment," Calleigh responded, her voice rising to match Horatio's. "I told you that last night. I would know."
"Would you?" Horatio challenged. Last night he had been satisfied with Calleigh's assertion that no one had been in her apartment, but that was when her status as a possible victim was a remote possibility. Now that he knew she was this guy's primary target he wasn't satisfied with her flimsy assurances. "He's made it pretty clear that he's capable of committing a murder without leaving any evidence behind. What makes you think that breaking and entering would be any different?"
Calleigh stood still, fists clenched at her side. Horatio had never doubted her instincts or abilities before, and his lack of confidence in her judgement was like a slap in the face. "We're getting nowhere here. I think that we should contact the local police and get their input before we continue. They might have an opinion on the matter too."
Horatio nodded curtly. She had a point. It was useless to keep going around in circles without knowing how much protection the police were willing to offer. He motioned towards the chairs as he walked behind his desk and picked up the phone and placed a call. He wasn't too surprised to see Calleigh chose to remain standing. Sitting in front of his desk with him behind it gave up too much power.
Calleigh watched as whoever Horatio was talking to fought her battle for her. Horatio was growing increasingly angry as he realized that the police were not going to offer the kind of protection he thought Calleigh needed. She suspected it was going to be like this, that's why she suggested the phone call. All they had was a theory and circumstantial evidence to support it. They had no clue who the killer was and no concrete connection that tied him to Calleigh. After a great deal of yelling, Horatio slammed the phone down. He gave her an accusatory glance. "You knew this was going to happen."
Calleigh shrugged, keeping her expression neutral. "I guessed. Saves us some arguing, anyway. What did they offer?"
Horatio wavered between anger, concern, frustration, and defeat. "A patrol car doing a cursory search of your neighborhood every half hour. If we get anything concrete, like a name or a specific threat against you, you'll get a car outside your apartment at all times and an escort to and from work. It's not enough. I'd bet my life that he knows where you live, but I won't bet yours that he doesn't."
"It's not your choice." Calleigh was adamant. "Even if he does know where I live, he doesn't know that we're on to him yet. Right now, he thinks he is in control, and that is how it's going to stay. We know too much and too little to tip our hand. If I move out, he'll know we suspect something. I'll be safe with a patrol car."
"Just because he hadn't attacked you or made a threat doesn't mean that you're not going to be his next target," Horatio answered, voice rising again. "If you won't stay somewhere else, then you will have someone stay with you. No arguments."
Calleigh's eyes narrowed as she considered Horatio's demand. How much was she willing to fight him on this? She didn't like the idea of being a target, but Calleigh knew she was right about the message it would send if she stopped staying in her apartment. At the same time, it would probably be in her best interest to have some backup with her should the killer decide to put in an appearance. But even though Horatio said that "someone" needed to stay with her, he probably intended to take the role of protector himself. That wouldn't do. Horatio in her apartment? Sleeping one room away from her? Before their recent problems, Calleigh would have jumped at the idea, her only concern that having him so close would cause her to internally combust. But now, with the tension and anger that had come between them, Calleigh was worried that any prolonged confrontation with Horatio would destroy them both. As she considered her answer, the phone rang. Horatio picked up. "Horatio," he snapped.
Calleigh could recognize the voice from across the room. Yelina. "Someone woke up grumpy," she heard her say. "Just checking to make sure we're on for tonight." Calleigh was not about to stand here and listen to them make plans for a date. She turned around and started to leave.
Horatio asked Yelina to hold on for a moment and called out to Calleigh. "Where do you think you're going? We're not through here."
Calleigh turned back around. "Yes we are. Go ahead and finish making you plans for tonight. I'll be doing the same. I accept your condition and I'll make sure someone is in my apartment with me. I'm sure Eric or Speed is free." That said she left Horatio's office, closing the door behind her.
Horatio bit back the urge to yell at her to get back in his office. He was planning on staying with her himself, but Yelina's phone call along with Calleigh's ire killed that idea quickly. Gathering his composure, he picked up the phone again. "Sorry, Yelina," he said. "You caught me at a bad time."
"So I gather," she said, chuckling. "I know you're under a lot of pressure with this killer out there loose, but you promised that you would make these family dinners a priority. I let you slide last week, but missing again tonight isn't acceptable."
Horatio was torn. He had promised to be there for the dinners and some quality time with Ray J. And he had missed last week to work on the case. But Calleigh was in trouble, and he wouldn't be able to focus on anything else until she was safe. He wavered for a moment, considering his own emotions and Calleigh's, then offered a compromise. "I know. How about I come over for dinner but leave early? I want to be there and spend time with you and Ray J, but I need to get back to work on this as soon as I can."
"Deal." He finished making plans for the time and said goodbye. Now he had to track Calleigh back down and finish laying down some rules.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horatio tracked Calleigh to trace, where she was helping Speed make phone calls to track down the distributor or department store that had sold the robes. He stepped in and was about to ask Speed to give them a moment, but Calleigh stopped him. "There's nothing left to discuss, Horatio," she said, preempting him. "I've accepted your condition. Speed and Eric are alternating nights on my couch. I'm not going to be home alone. Case closed."
Horatio controlled his anger to avoid a scene in front of Speed and the other lab workers. "No it isn't, Calleigh, because that killer is still out there. And until we've caught him, I need be sure that you're safe."
"I am safe. I spend almost every waking moment here or at a crime scene, surrounded by police. I doubt that whoever this is would be bold enough to grab me out of CSI. When I go home, I will be accompanied by either Speed or Eric. You already set up a patrol car to keep an eye on the neighborhood. There's nothing else that can be done. Every precaution, remember? We need to stop arguing about this and get to work identifying this guy before he kills another innocent bystander."
Horatio didn't want to admit defeat, and they both knew it. But Calleigh was right again. They did need to get back to work and arguing over the specifics of her protection was keeping them from identifying who it was doing this. He dropped his head for a moment, signaling a hold on the conversation. He took a couple of seep breaths and looked up again. "This is tabled, for now. Speed and Eric are both going home with you early tonight to look for any evidence that he has been in your apartment. I'll be stopping by later to continue this discussion and to help search. I'll take the first shift tonight and the Speed/Eric rotation can begin tomorrow. That's final."
Calleigh scowled and nodded her assent. It was the best offer Calleigh was going to get, and she knew it. She should have known better than to think that Horatio would let go of her slip yesterday about feeling that something was off in her apartment. Besides, it was time to put and end to the semi-public display that had just occurred. They were getting looks from about half a dozen lab workers. Horatio glared around at everyone, and one by one they went back to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Calleigh went home with Eric, spent after her long day. She had cracked the case, become a target, fought with Horatio, and then come up empty on her search for a name. Her former boss in New Orleans had searched their records, but had not come up with any possible suspects. Calleigh checked her watch. Speed was going to meet up with her and Eric as soon as he picked up the pizza they had ordered before leaving work. When they walked in the front door, Calleigh again had a sense of not-quite- rightness. It was as though someone had been there moments before. She shook it off as nerves and opened the door wider for Eric to follow. They set their kits down in the living room and Calleigh set about welcoming her guest. "Would you like anything to drink?" she offered.
Eric shook his head, looking around the living room. "Nah. Speed's picking up sodas along with the pizza. We might as well get started. What do you want to look for?"
Calleigh sighed. Eric was serious about looking for evidence that their killer had been in her apartment. Speed probably would too. She knew that Horatio had been up to no good when he had spoken to them earlier. He probably read them the riot act. She shrugged and looked around the room. "How about we dust the photo frames and the picture albums. If this guy knows me from Louisiana, he might look there for some kind of connection."
Eric nodded and they got down to work. Thirty minutes later the doorbell rang. It was Speed with the food. Calleigh called for a break and the three friends sat in the kitchen and dove in. Eric caught Speed up on what they had done so far.
"We dusted all the photos and the outside of the picture albums. So far, all we've gotten is some of Calleigh's fingerprints." He looked over at Calleigh. "Why is Horatio so sure that we'll find something here?"
Calleigh let out some of her frustration. "Because I made some random comment about thinking there was something off about my apartment and he took it to need the guy had been here. Honestly, I keep telling him that I've checked it out and nothing is out of place, but he just won't listen to me!"
Speed shook his head. "H is worried about you. We all are. We have no clue who this guy is or why he's doing this. And we don't want anything bad to happen to you. It'd be hell to try to find someone to replace you around the lab"
Calleigh laughed and tried to relax. "I know. Thanks guys."
Eric smiled and attempted to change the subject. "So tell me, Calleigh, is there any part of this superstition that tells you how to avoid Cauchemar?"
"Sure," Calleigh replied, smiling at the distraction. "You can put salt under your pillow, or place beans under your bed in circle. There's also the broom in the corner, screen in the window tactic, sleeping on your stomach, and, of course, prayers before bedtime."
Eric laughed. "Beans in a circle under the bead? You might want to try that."
"No thank you," Calleigh replied. "It may keep Cauchemar away, but it would sure be an open invitation for insects and other critters that I dislike even more." The all had a good laugh. "I'm done here. How about I check the bathroom for prints and try to find that powder for a comparison while you guys finish the pizza, ok?"
The guys nodded and Calleigh headed off for the other end of her apartment. She heard them talking in the kitchen and smiled when she heard Eric laugh at something Speed said. As long as she was being forced to print and search her won apartment, she might as well organize the stuff under the bathroom sink that had escaped her attention during her cleaning spree. She sorted through bottles and jars, dusting for prints, finding nothing, and putting everything back in a more organized fashion. At the back of the cabinet she found what she was looking for. The jar of talcum powder was half empty, but still had plenty in it. She looked at the jar, remembering the county fairs and how fun they had been. She opened the jar and inhaled the scent of her childhood, enjoying a few minutes of peace before closing it and bringing it to the other room. She handed the jar to Eric. "This should be plenty. Save some for me when you're through, ok?"
He smiled and took the jar, placing it by his kit. When he was finished, he was going straight back to the lab to confirm that it was the same powder as what they had found on their victims. The three friends continued fingerprinting, looking at everything that someone might pick up or touch, and by ten that night they hadn't found anything useful. Calling it a night, Eric packed up his kit and headed for the door. "I guess you were right after all, Calleigh." He said. "He hasn't been here." Calleigh smiled and let him out, waiting until he got into his car before closing the door. It was almost shut when she heard a car enter the parking lot. She opened the door again, seeing Horatio's hummer pull in. She waited in the doorway until he started up the steps of her porch then swung the door open for him.
"Come on in and join the party." She said.
Horatio followed her into the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him. "Was that Eric I saw leaving?" He asked.
"Yes," Calleigh answered. "We finished printing everything in sight. He took a jar of talc back to the lab to run some tests."
Horatio nodded and greeted Speed, who immediately stood and went over to his kit. "If you're here, I guess I'll be on my way out." He said. He began packing up his stuff.
Calleigh offered Horatio a drink, and he accepted, asking for some water. Calleigh opened up the refrigerator for the first time that night to grab a bottle. What she saw made her freeze. On the shelf right in front of her face rested a freshly-cut Louisiana blue iris.
Horatio noticed her stiffen and walked over to see what she was staring at. When he saw the flower, he called Speed over to the kitchen. Horatio took a napkin off the counter and picked up the iris. There was a note attached, which simply read "For my wildflower queen." Speed started dusting the note while Calleigh excused herself and went into the living room. Horatio followed her with his eyes, but he stayed in the kitchen with Speed, placing another call to the police.
When the med came back into the living room, Calleigh looked up. Speed looked excited, Horatio was deceptively calm. She looked over at Speed, asking silently what he had found. "A fingerprint," he said, excitement over the new break reflected in his voice. "I'm going to the lab right now to run it though the system." Calleigh nodded and motioned for Horatio to sit while she walked Speed out. She passed Speed a piece of paper with a name on it as she opened the door. He looked at the paper and nodded, silently promising to run it against the print. Calleigh locked the door behind him and turned again to the living room and one tightly coiled Horatio Caine.
"I called the police." He said as Calleigh took a seat across from him. "They'll have a car here within the hour. Until then, we need to talk some more. Does the note make any sense to you?"
Calleigh laughed bitterly. "Nothing much makes sense to me anymore, but yes, I understood what it meant. I gave Speed the name before he left." She looked up to see Horatio waiting for her to explain. "My childhood nickname was wildflower. The only people who called me that were family and this kid named Trevor Wilson. I grew up with him. He came from old money, my mother loved him. Anyway, he asked me to prom my senior year of high school. The year I was prom queen. I told him that I couldn't go with him. I had already made plans to go with a friend of mine-a great guy who was smart and sensitive. The only problem was that he was black. My dad didn't understand, he actually slapped me when he found out. My mom just cried and asked why I would do this to her, why I wouldn't go with Trevor. He was a jerk, Horatio, always rubbing his family name and family fortune in everyone's face, acting like he owned the world and everyone in it. He didn't take my refusal too lightly. After prom, Casey, the guy I went with, was walking me back home when Trevor and a bunch of his friends jumped us. Trevor held me down while his friends beat up Casey. They would have killed him if someone hadn't stopped and chased them off. We filed charges against them the next morning. Trevor got probation because he didn't participate in the beating, he just restrained me. Also, he gave the DA the names of his friends who had helped in his little "lesson." Afterwards, he just cracked up. His family sent him to a hospital in Lafayette. I left home shortly after and haven't thought of it since."
Horatio listened quietly. He could understand why Calleigh hadn't thought of him when she had pieced the other facts together. She hadn't seen or heard from this guy in over a decade and suddenly he shows up, killing innocent people and intruding into her life. It didn't make any sense. He only had one question left. "Why the iris?"
"It's the state wildflower of Louisiana. Always been a favorite of mine."
"Why? I always figured you for the steel magnolia type."
"Nah, refined and stately was never my style. Now the iris.that was me. Rugged, unpretentious, its true home is in the swamps, but it's strong enough to thrive anywhere."
Horatio couldn't help the smile. It fit her perfectly. Beautiful, delicate, but with a hidden strength and determination. Their moment of peace was about to end, though. This Wilson guy had sent a clear message to Calleigh. All bets were now off and it was time to take some additional measures to ensure that he couldn't get to her. "Calleigh," he said, getting her attention. "It's time for you to go someplace else. You should stay with me tonight, I don't want you staying where he can find you." He saw the explosion coming a mile away.
Calleigh's eyes narrowed, the only visible sign of the battle to come. "You don't want.this isn't your decision. Like I told you before, I'm staying. There is no way that I am going to run in fear of a scum like Trevor Wilson."
"He's killed three people, Calleigh!" Horatio exclaimed. "And I'll be damned if you're going to be the fourth!"
Calleigh stood up from the couch and faced Horatio, furious. "I repeat. This is not your decision. I'm not some damsel in distress that needs rescuing from the big bad guy. I'm fully capable of protecting myself."
That was the final straw for Horatio. "I don't know what's been up with you recently Calleigh," he said, standing to face her, "but I'm tired of this independent act you've been pulling recently. This has more to do with you not wanting to be around me than with your own safety. I've asked you before and I'm asking you again-why do you keep pushing me away?"
Calleigh tried to act innocent, unwilling to delve into this topic with Horatio. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't been doing anything of the sort."
"Don't play that game with me," Horatio shot back. "It's been going on for weeks, probably longer but I just didn't see it. Haven't you seen me trying to reach out? Every time I try to get more personal than case files and superficial pleasantries you slam the door in my face."
It was suddenly too much. Calleigh had finally reached her breaking point and she could no longer control the words that she had bit back for the past two months. "Fine," she said bitterly. "You want to know? I was just playing by the rules you set up two months ago. What do you think you were doing to me when you went off pursuing Yelina like she was some kind of siren? You didn't have the time of day for anyone else. I depended on you-for encouragement, for sanity, to keep my demons at bay. You were my rock, Horatio, and suddenly you were unavailable."
"Well I'm available now."
"Yeah? For how long, Horatio?"
"For as long as you need me."
"No, for as long as you decide I'm worth your time or until you have something or someone better to focus your attention on. I'm tired of you deciding when and how we relate to each other. It's second nature, I suppose, for you to have all the power in a relationship. But that's not how I operate. It's not enough for me anymore. I won't be cast aside and then picked up again like some toy that you feel like playing with when it suits you. I have my own needs, and if I can't depend on you to be there for me when I need you, then I'm going to damn well make sure that I won't need you to be."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Horatio asked, not able to repress the cold shock that went through him with Calleigh's last comment.
"Wake up, Horatio," Calleigh answered, too wrapped up in letting her feelings loose to notice how her words were affecting Horatio. "That change you've been talking about? That was me, learning to stand on my own two feet and not leaning on you. Because that's what it was-dependence. And it was mutual, up until the point when you decided that you didn't need me anymore. Well guess what? I don't need you anymore, either. I learned that I don't need you to be my rock for me, I don't need you to be my mentor, looking out for the potholes in the road and walking me over them, because my eyes are open and I can see them for myself now. You don't have to hold my hand for me anymore, Horatio."
"But what if I want to? What if I want you to depend on me, and me on you?"
"You don't. Otherwise you wouldn't have pulled away from me like you did. I think that it will be liberating for you, Horatio, to not be tied down by me anymore. And there's no question in my mind that you won't miss depending on someone else. But I could be wrong. If you miss it so much, you should try exploring the concept with your girlfriend."
"Yelina is not my girlfriend." Horatio stated matter-of-factly, not sure why Calleigh had brought up Yelina at all.
"Oh, Sorry. Did you two get engaged somewhere along the way and decide that no one was important enough to announce it to?" Calleigh couldn't help the sarcasm that escaped her.
Horatio decided to put an end to this digression, once and for all. "No, we decided that we were better off staying friends. God-she's dating someone over in vice now and I couldn't be happier for her. What does that have to do with you not talking to me? Why haven't we been able to get our friendship back the way it was?" He steered the conversation back to its original focus: Calleigh's distance.
Calleigh remained silent for a moment, absorbing the shock of Horatio's announcement. So he wasn't dating Yelina anymore. Great for him. But it still didn't make up for the fact that he had tossed her aside as though she were nothing to him. She took a deep breath and answered, fatigue evident in her hushed voice. "Because I can't go back to who I was, Horatio. I can't leave my heart out in the open waiting for you to come and take care of it for me. You hurt me, Horatio, and I'm tired of being hurt."
Horatio stared at her, unsure how to answer in the face of her brutal honesty. Calleigh continued. "I think its time for you to go. The police will be here any minute and I'll be safe with them outside. I'll let you out." She went to the front door and unlocked it, pulling it wide for him to exit.
He didn't want to leave her alone, but he was afraid that continuing their argument would only hurt Calleigh more. He was still in too much shock to figure out what had just happened. And whatever it was, Calleigh looked almost broken. He felt his own heart constrict at the pain he saw in her eyes. Pain that he had placed there. He slowly walked out the door, noticing the police cruiser pulling up across the street. Turning to look at her, Horatio took her small hand in his own. "I don't want to lose you." He said it quietly, his fear choking the words even as he said them.
Calleigh pulled her hand out of his, missing its warmth as soon as she did so. She felt a tear run down her cheek as she answered. "You lost me weeks ago; you just didn't care enough to see it."
