Dream Catcher (Cauchemar Epilogue)
By koaladeb
Disclaimer in Cauchemar part 1
A/N: Just when I thought I had finished, this idea popped into my head and wouldn't let me go-it just begged to be included in this story as an epilogue. Follows two months after the conclusion of part 14.
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Calleigh woke again, sweat running off her body and her breath coming in short gasps. She flung the cloying sheets off her body and jumped out of the bed. Still disoriented, she backed up until she smacked her head into the bedroom wall, then sank to her knees on the floor. Finally aware of where she was, Calleigh gulped in air, trying to soothe her burning lungs and clam her wildly beating heart. "Damn!" she gasped. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She was supposed to be ok.
Calleigh tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. She got up and poured herself a glass of water, noticing how her hands shook. She looked back towards the bedroom. There was no way that she would be getting any sleep there tonight. She followed a now familiar pattern to the living room, laying down on the couch and pulling a comforter around her. Calleigh tried to will away the images that lingered in the back of her eyelids and get back to sleep, focusing on another memory-Horatio on this couch, holding her tightly, welcoming her home. It didn't work. With a sigh, Calleigh sat up on the couch and reviewed everything that led her to this point.
It had been two months since she had been kidnapped and almost killed. After being released from the hospital, she had followed the recommendations of many doctors and the quiet request of one Horatio Caine to take a couple of weeks off and process everything that happened. She had consulted a psychiatrist, talking over the ordeal and its after- effects; in fact, he had even commended her on her ability to accept and move past what had happened and approved her to return to work. That was a month and a half ago. Even Horatio had been forced to admit that she was fine.
Calleigh smiled as she thought of Horatio. They had spent every minute together that they could spare, talking, eating, laughing, just spending time in each other's presence. Calleigh couldn't think of a time when she was happier or more content. The distance, both physical and emotional, that had been between them while Horatio was dating Yelina had long since disappeared. Calleigh had finally let go of the last of the anger and pain that period of time had sparked in her. They had talked, a little at a time, about what happened when she was taken and how her ordeal had affected both of them. Horatio had apologized for taking what they had for granted and Calleigh apologized for shutting him out. All was forgiven. In fact, Calleigh had even gone with Horatio to a "family night" at Yelina's house. Calleigh felt that Horatio had gone out of his way to demonstrate her importance in his life that night, both to her and to his family, and the evening had passed with great joy and little discomfort. But the best part of the last two months had taken place last week, when they had finally admitted to each other that they were in love.
They had spent a quiet evening in Horatio's home. He was getting ready to go on a week-long consulting job, working with the Daytona Crime Lab in establishing newer facilities. Since they wanted to model their lab after the one in Miami, they had called on Horatio to come up and advise them on what needed to be done. It had been on his calendar for months, before everything with the Wilsons had happened. Snuggled together on his couch, Horatio had admitted that he didn't want to leave Calleigh, but she had assured him that even though she would miss him terribly, she could manage to go a week without seeing him.
"After all," she had said to him, "I've had plenty of practice pining for you." The soft kiss she gave him had softened the reprimand, and he had merely pulled her tighter. They continued to lightly banter, trading soft comments and kisses. Calleigh was getting ready to pull away to leave when Horatio had pulled her tightly to him. Calleigh had looked into his eyes and was surprised to see a thin line of tears in them. She had been concerned, reaching up to stroke his face with her hand and asking what was wrong.
"You may be able to get by," he had said, "but I don't know what I'm going to do without you with me. I almost lost you once, and I don't ever want to be apart from you." His eyes took on a serious look. "I love you, Calleigh," he said, letting go of her with one hand and bringing it up to her face, wiping away the tears that had sprung from her eyes at his declaration. "You are my heart," he continued, "when you're not with me I'm empty inside. What we have is forever, and when I get back I want to talk about making what we have permanent."
Calleigh had been robbed of words. They had been dancing around the issue ever since she had come home from the hospital, focusing on repairing the damage they had done to each other in the previous months. Back then, it had been too soon, the wounds too fresh, to talk about love. Then, in the next month, they had focused on the moment, cherishing each new discovery they made about the other person, basking in the glow of finding home in each other. They were exploring their relationship, moving past friendship, but they had not yet used the word love, even though they both had felt it. When he said the words, Calleigh couldn't help the tears. She didn't think that she could be any happier, but Horatio, as always, managed to exceed her expectations. Still unable to articulate a reply, Calleigh had pulled his face to hers for a long, deep kiss. When they finally had pulled apart, Calleigh had taken a deep breath and matched Horatio's loving gaze. "I love you too," she had whispered, reaching for him again.
She had stayed with Horatio that night as they found a new way to express their feelings for each other. She had never known a peace like the one she felt as she had slept in his arms. Even now, that sensation carried over to her turbulent present. Calleigh's heart was pulled between that peace and a longing for Horatio. She had lied when she said she would be ok without him. Their frequent phone calls weren't enough to satisfy the deep ache Calleigh felt when he wasn't there. And she hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since he had left.
Calleigh's initial bout of nightmares (or dream flashbacks, as Calleigh thought of them) had started when she first was released from the hospital. They were frightening, but not horrific, and they always ended with Horatio bursting through the door and rescuing her. The issue had been addressed in the first couple of sessions with the psychiatrist. After talking about them with the good doctor and then again with Horatio, they had diminished and gone away rather quickly. But these new nightmares were different. They had started a week ago, the very night that Horatio had left for Daytona, and had come every night since, always the same. She was strapped to a table in a cabin, weight pressing down on her until she couldn't breathe. She couldn't call for help and all she could hear was laughing. Everything in the dream was a vivid recreation of her experience at the hands of Trevor and Erica Wilson, except it was even worse. The cabin was completely dark, and the people laughing were skeletons, dancing and laughing, holding out dead flowers to her. And then they would point, and Calleigh would see Horatio.dead, one arm reaching out for her. That's always when she woke up. She could deal with all of it except the last part. She had lived down the memories of the cabin and what happened there because she knew that she had survived, but she couldn't take the horror, fear and overwhelming loss that enveloped her when she saw Horatio's dead body in her dreams.
Calleigh shook away the images and realized that the room was slowly becoming lighter as the sun came up. Some of the residual fear left as she remembered that Horatio was coming back today. She had taken the day off so that they could spend it together, making up for lost time. Looking at the clock, Calleigh realized that she needed to get ready to pick him up from the airport. Calleigh sprung up from the couch and started to get ready for the day, taking extra care with her appearance. She ran a brush through her freshly-dried hair, happy that she had never gotten around to cutting it. Horatio loved to run his fingers through her long hair, and Calleigh was once again satisfied to have her face framed by straight, blond locks. Calleigh tried to minimize the dark circles under her eyes, but knew that her attempt to disguise them would be futile. Horatio already knew that something was wrong, even though she had not yet told him about the nightmares. He heard it in her voice, in the desperation she couldn't hide when she called him every morning to see if he was ok. She had heard the concern in his voice often enough, and he had even offered to come back early, but Calleigh had told him to stay and finish. "I don't want you to have to go back there and leave again," she had said. Eventually, she had convinced him that she was just missing him, but she knew that she was going to have to confess everything as soon as he arrived.
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Horatio stepped off the plane and immediately began jogging towards the airport lobby. For the first time, he cursed the new airport security measures that prevented people from meeting their loved ones at the gate. As he rounded the last corner, his eyes began searching for Calleigh. He found her a heartbeat later and he immediately ran to her, pulling her into him and burying his head in her hair. "God, I missed you," he breathed, not willing to let her go. Calleigh's only response was to find his lips with hers.
They stood there, locked together, until both required air. Still holding onto each other, Calleigh rested her head against Horatio's chest and listened to his heart beating while Horatio just held her, bringing one hand up to run it through her hair. They stood silently for a while longer, feeling whole for the first time in a week. When they finally pulled apart, Horatio took a good look at Calleigh. It was worse than he thought.
After only one week, she was thinner than when he had left, and her skin had a slightly transparent look instead of the healthy glow that he was accustomed to. And her eyes-they were surrounded by dark circles that Horatio immediately recognized, even though she had tried to cover them up with makeup. His happiness at coming home was dampened with concern. "Tell me what's wrong," he insisted, pulling Calleigh closer once again.
Calleigh leaned her head back so that she could look into Horatio's eyes. His presence alone had lifted the weight she had been carrying, his arms around her a physical reminder that he was safe, and home. She managed to smile a little. "I promise to tell you as soon as we get you home," she answered, shifting her eyes to take in the crowded airport before meeting Horatio's intense gaze again. "But just having you back here with me helps more than I can say."
Horatio nodded, knowing that she was telling the truth. She may have tried to hide the severity of whatever it was that had been troubling her while he was away, but she would make no attempt to hide it from him in person. He picked up his carry-on with one hand and slung it over his shoulder, using his other arm to keep Calleigh close. "Well, let's go then," he said, not releasing the woman at his side.
Calleigh molded herself to Horatio, resting her head on his shoulder, and walked with him to the luggage claim area. After they had grabbed Horatio's bag, they made their way to the Hummer Calleigh had driven that morning and went straight to Horatio's place.
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As soon as they had walked in the door, Horatio dropped his bags and pulled Calleigh over to the couch. They had made small talk in the car, but both were biding their time until they could sit down and have a real conversation. Horatio sat Calleigh down on the couch and took his own seat on the coffee table so that he could face her directly. He held her hands in his and looked at her bowed head, waiting for her to begin.
Calleigh didn't wait long. "I've been having trouble sleeping since you left," she said. She started to continue, and then halted, her head coming up and her eyes searching for something in his.
Horatio tried to give her some reassurance. "I've been having trouble myself," he admitted with a comforting smile, "who was to know that after one night with you I wouldn't be able to sleep by myself anymore?" His comment had the desired effect as he saw a small smile ease some of the lines of Calleigh's face. "I gather that you were more than just missing me though, weren't you?"
Calleigh nodded, dropping her gaze once more. She took a deep breath and began. "The night you left, I had a bad dream, a nightmare. I thought it was just some kind of reaction to your going away, but it came back the next night, and the night after that.every night since." She looked up for a moment when she felt the concern radiate off Horatio, and in his eyes she saw a hint of anger that she had kept this from him. She looked away again and continued. "I tried everything I could think of to make them go away. I even slept here one night, thinking that if I could feel closer to you they would go away. But it just made them worse."
"What are you dreaming, Calleigh?" Horatio asked, shelving his anger in an effort to support her. He listened to the dream sequence, more disturbed by the fact that she was reliving her capture than by his deceased state, but understanding that his death in the dream was what impacted Calleigh the most. He felt a flash of anger again as he realized that Calleigh had purposely kept this from him, telling him to stay in Daytona while she faced this alone, even after he had offered to return. His voice was tight as he asked, "Did you talk to anyone about this?"
Calleigh could tell that Horatio was upset, but she decided to finish her story before getting into a discussion over why she hadn't told him. She met his gaze again, and calmly answered. "Yes. I called the psychiatrist and met with him two days ago."
Horatio nodded curtly, satisfied that she had at least sought some professional help. "And." he prompted.
"He told me that I should talk to you about it," Calleigh confessed meekly. "He said that even though the dreams appear to be related to what happened to me, they really are being triggered by something else."
Horatio couldn't hold back the anger and hurt he was feeling as he fired off his next questions. "And yet you waited until now to tell me about it. Why, Calleigh? You knew that I was worried and that I'd want you to tell me what was going on, but you kept it from me. You lied and told me that you were ok when you obviously weren't. Why did you shut me out again? Don't you know how much that hurts me?"
Calleigh felt tears begin to streak down her face. "I know, Horatio. And I didn't tell you because I knew you'd drop everything and come to me," she admitted. "And even though I wanted to tell you and to have you come home and hold me, I just couldn't. I'm so sorry, Horatio. I didn't want you to have to abandon something important to hold my hand. I didn't want you to come back and then have to leave again to finish."
Horatio felt his anger evaporate as soon as he saw the regret and pain in Calleigh's eyes, even before she had said a word. He left his seat on the table and sat beside Calleigh, pulling her into his embrace. He soothed her as she continued to cry, knowing that she needed to release whatever pent-up emotions were inside of her. "Shhh, it's okay," he said, "I'm not angry, I just wish you would have told me. We would have figured it out. You're the most important thing in the world to me. I would never leave you when you needed me."
Calleigh nodded against his chest, leaning against him as she felt her tears stop. She sniffled a couple of times and then pulled back to look up at Horatio. She closed her eyes as he reached over to wipe the tear tracks from her face. They sat in silence for a moment as Calleigh calmed down and Horatio repositioned them so that Calleigh was leaning back against his chest, his arms wrapped securely around her. "So what did the psychiatrist say was behind these dreams of yours?" he asked.
Calleigh ducked her head even though Horatio couldn't see her face. She had gone to the appointment thinking she had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or something, but her doctor didn't agree. In fact, when the psychiatrist had given her his explanation, she had thought he was crazy. She turned slightly and looked up at Horatio. "You," she replied. She saw Horatio's eyes flash with confusion and continued, words tumbling over one another as Calleigh tried to explain before he could jump to conclusions, barely stopping long enough to take a breath. "He said that they were caused by my fear of losing you. We had finally admitted that we loved each other and had moved our relationship to the next level and then right away you had to go on this trip, and I missed you so much I couldn't breathe. I knew that you were ok and that you were coming back to me, and it wasn't even this trip that scared me, it was just the idea of not having you with me that hijacked my subconscious."
Horatio was silent. He hadn't wanted to leave Calleigh and go on the trip in the first place, and now it appeared that his going away had wreaked havoc on her in his absence. He held her tighter. "All you had to do was tell me and I would have been here," he said, this time without anger. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I didn't believe him," Calleigh answered sheepishly, relieved that Horatio wasn't angry with her. "I thought it was PTSD, or something related to the Wilsons, not something having to do with your trip. I mean, when I was awake I was never afraid that you were in danger or that you weren't coming back. And in the light of day, I don't have any doubts or fears about what we have together. Why should I think that my dreams would reflect anything different?"
Horatio smiled a little. Calleigh was feeling better; he could hear it in her voice. He turned her around and slid her onto his lap, locking his arms behind her and kissing the tip of her nose. "So what did the man recommend?" he asked.
Calleigh smiled fully, finally being able to rejoice in Horatio's return. "Seems the cause and the cure are one in the same" she answered, playfully. "He said that some quality time with the man I loved would do the trick." Calleigh punctuated her reply with soft kisses along Horatio's jaw and neck. It had been a long and lonely week, after all.
"He did, did he?" Horatio said, his voice dropping as Calleigh continued her actions, his own hands beginning to roam along her body. He pulled her back so that he could look at her face-her eyes were no longer clouded by the shadows of her nightmare, but instead were darkened by desire. He felt his own body respond and decided to take this conversation to a new location. "Well," he replied, picking her up and walking back to the bedroom, "I've always believed in following doctor's orders."
Calleigh tried to laugh, but was stopped as Horatio's mouth came crashing down on her own. By the time he let her come up for air, they had reached his bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and laid down next to her, running his hands through her hair and leaning in for another kiss. "Welcome home," Calleigh sighed before being carried away by the force of her love and passion.
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After "becoming reacquainted," as Horatio had put it, Calleigh snuggled next to him and sighed with contentment. "Promise me that from now on I can come with you when you go away," Calleigh said, fighting the urge to fall asleep. She felt Horatio pull her closer in response.
"I promise," he said, kissing Calleigh's forehead. "I never want to spend another night away from you for as long as I live." He felt Calleigh smile and he shifted so that he could look at her face. Her eyes were already closed, her breathing evening out. Pretty soon she would be out completely. He couldn't help smiling in return. "Get some sleep," he whispered, "I'm here to keep all the bad dreams away."
Calleigh heard him and smiled, "Love you," she murmured.
Horatio felt the last missing piece of his homecoming slide into place. He had planned on talking to Calleigh about the ring he had purchased for her in Daytona, but for now, he was content to watch her sleep. "Love you too," he said, then joined Calleigh in a restful slumber.
A/N: Just when I thought I had finished, this idea popped into my head and wouldn't let me go-it just begged to be included in this story as an epilogue. Follows two months after the conclusion of part 14.
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Calleigh woke again, sweat running off her body and her breath coming in short gasps. She flung the cloying sheets off her body and jumped out of the bed. Still disoriented, she backed up until she smacked her head into the bedroom wall, then sank to her knees on the floor. Finally aware of where she was, Calleigh gulped in air, trying to soothe her burning lungs and clam her wildly beating heart. "Damn!" she gasped. This wasn't supposed to be happening. She was supposed to be ok.
Calleigh tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. She got up and poured herself a glass of water, noticing how her hands shook. She looked back towards the bedroom. There was no way that she would be getting any sleep there tonight. She followed a now familiar pattern to the living room, laying down on the couch and pulling a comforter around her. Calleigh tried to will away the images that lingered in the back of her eyelids and get back to sleep, focusing on another memory-Horatio on this couch, holding her tightly, welcoming her home. It didn't work. With a sigh, Calleigh sat up on the couch and reviewed everything that led her to this point.
It had been two months since she had been kidnapped and almost killed. After being released from the hospital, she had followed the recommendations of many doctors and the quiet request of one Horatio Caine to take a couple of weeks off and process everything that happened. She had consulted a psychiatrist, talking over the ordeal and its after- effects; in fact, he had even commended her on her ability to accept and move past what had happened and approved her to return to work. That was a month and a half ago. Even Horatio had been forced to admit that she was fine.
Calleigh smiled as she thought of Horatio. They had spent every minute together that they could spare, talking, eating, laughing, just spending time in each other's presence. Calleigh couldn't think of a time when she was happier or more content. The distance, both physical and emotional, that had been between them while Horatio was dating Yelina had long since disappeared. Calleigh had finally let go of the last of the anger and pain that period of time had sparked in her. They had talked, a little at a time, about what happened when she was taken and how her ordeal had affected both of them. Horatio had apologized for taking what they had for granted and Calleigh apologized for shutting him out. All was forgiven. In fact, Calleigh had even gone with Horatio to a "family night" at Yelina's house. Calleigh felt that Horatio had gone out of his way to demonstrate her importance in his life that night, both to her and to his family, and the evening had passed with great joy and little discomfort. But the best part of the last two months had taken place last week, when they had finally admitted to each other that they were in love.
They had spent a quiet evening in Horatio's home. He was getting ready to go on a week-long consulting job, working with the Daytona Crime Lab in establishing newer facilities. Since they wanted to model their lab after the one in Miami, they had called on Horatio to come up and advise them on what needed to be done. It had been on his calendar for months, before everything with the Wilsons had happened. Snuggled together on his couch, Horatio had admitted that he didn't want to leave Calleigh, but she had assured him that even though she would miss him terribly, she could manage to go a week without seeing him.
"After all," she had said to him, "I've had plenty of practice pining for you." The soft kiss she gave him had softened the reprimand, and he had merely pulled her tighter. They continued to lightly banter, trading soft comments and kisses. Calleigh was getting ready to pull away to leave when Horatio had pulled her tightly to him. Calleigh had looked into his eyes and was surprised to see a thin line of tears in them. She had been concerned, reaching up to stroke his face with her hand and asking what was wrong.
"You may be able to get by," he had said, "but I don't know what I'm going to do without you with me. I almost lost you once, and I don't ever want to be apart from you." His eyes took on a serious look. "I love you, Calleigh," he said, letting go of her with one hand and bringing it up to her face, wiping away the tears that had sprung from her eyes at his declaration. "You are my heart," he continued, "when you're not with me I'm empty inside. What we have is forever, and when I get back I want to talk about making what we have permanent."
Calleigh had been robbed of words. They had been dancing around the issue ever since she had come home from the hospital, focusing on repairing the damage they had done to each other in the previous months. Back then, it had been too soon, the wounds too fresh, to talk about love. Then, in the next month, they had focused on the moment, cherishing each new discovery they made about the other person, basking in the glow of finding home in each other. They were exploring their relationship, moving past friendship, but they had not yet used the word love, even though they both had felt it. When he said the words, Calleigh couldn't help the tears. She didn't think that she could be any happier, but Horatio, as always, managed to exceed her expectations. Still unable to articulate a reply, Calleigh had pulled his face to hers for a long, deep kiss. When they finally had pulled apart, Calleigh had taken a deep breath and matched Horatio's loving gaze. "I love you too," she had whispered, reaching for him again.
She had stayed with Horatio that night as they found a new way to express their feelings for each other. She had never known a peace like the one she felt as she had slept in his arms. Even now, that sensation carried over to her turbulent present. Calleigh's heart was pulled between that peace and a longing for Horatio. She had lied when she said she would be ok without him. Their frequent phone calls weren't enough to satisfy the deep ache Calleigh felt when he wasn't there. And she hadn't gotten a full night's sleep since he had left.
Calleigh's initial bout of nightmares (or dream flashbacks, as Calleigh thought of them) had started when she first was released from the hospital. They were frightening, but not horrific, and they always ended with Horatio bursting through the door and rescuing her. The issue had been addressed in the first couple of sessions with the psychiatrist. After talking about them with the good doctor and then again with Horatio, they had diminished and gone away rather quickly. But these new nightmares were different. They had started a week ago, the very night that Horatio had left for Daytona, and had come every night since, always the same. She was strapped to a table in a cabin, weight pressing down on her until she couldn't breathe. She couldn't call for help and all she could hear was laughing. Everything in the dream was a vivid recreation of her experience at the hands of Trevor and Erica Wilson, except it was even worse. The cabin was completely dark, and the people laughing were skeletons, dancing and laughing, holding out dead flowers to her. And then they would point, and Calleigh would see Horatio.dead, one arm reaching out for her. That's always when she woke up. She could deal with all of it except the last part. She had lived down the memories of the cabin and what happened there because she knew that she had survived, but she couldn't take the horror, fear and overwhelming loss that enveloped her when she saw Horatio's dead body in her dreams.
Calleigh shook away the images and realized that the room was slowly becoming lighter as the sun came up. Some of the residual fear left as she remembered that Horatio was coming back today. She had taken the day off so that they could spend it together, making up for lost time. Looking at the clock, Calleigh realized that she needed to get ready to pick him up from the airport. Calleigh sprung up from the couch and started to get ready for the day, taking extra care with her appearance. She ran a brush through her freshly-dried hair, happy that she had never gotten around to cutting it. Horatio loved to run his fingers through her long hair, and Calleigh was once again satisfied to have her face framed by straight, blond locks. Calleigh tried to minimize the dark circles under her eyes, but knew that her attempt to disguise them would be futile. Horatio already knew that something was wrong, even though she had not yet told him about the nightmares. He heard it in her voice, in the desperation she couldn't hide when she called him every morning to see if he was ok. She had heard the concern in his voice often enough, and he had even offered to come back early, but Calleigh had told him to stay and finish. "I don't want you to have to go back there and leave again," she had said. Eventually, she had convinced him that she was just missing him, but she knew that she was going to have to confess everything as soon as he arrived.
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Horatio stepped off the plane and immediately began jogging towards the airport lobby. For the first time, he cursed the new airport security measures that prevented people from meeting their loved ones at the gate. As he rounded the last corner, his eyes began searching for Calleigh. He found her a heartbeat later and he immediately ran to her, pulling her into him and burying his head in her hair. "God, I missed you," he breathed, not willing to let her go. Calleigh's only response was to find his lips with hers.
They stood there, locked together, until both required air. Still holding onto each other, Calleigh rested her head against Horatio's chest and listened to his heart beating while Horatio just held her, bringing one hand up to run it through her hair. They stood silently for a while longer, feeling whole for the first time in a week. When they finally pulled apart, Horatio took a good look at Calleigh. It was worse than he thought.
After only one week, she was thinner than when he had left, and her skin had a slightly transparent look instead of the healthy glow that he was accustomed to. And her eyes-they were surrounded by dark circles that Horatio immediately recognized, even though she had tried to cover them up with makeup. His happiness at coming home was dampened with concern. "Tell me what's wrong," he insisted, pulling Calleigh closer once again.
Calleigh leaned her head back so that she could look into Horatio's eyes. His presence alone had lifted the weight she had been carrying, his arms around her a physical reminder that he was safe, and home. She managed to smile a little. "I promise to tell you as soon as we get you home," she answered, shifting her eyes to take in the crowded airport before meeting Horatio's intense gaze again. "But just having you back here with me helps more than I can say."
Horatio nodded, knowing that she was telling the truth. She may have tried to hide the severity of whatever it was that had been troubling her while he was away, but she would make no attempt to hide it from him in person. He picked up his carry-on with one hand and slung it over his shoulder, using his other arm to keep Calleigh close. "Well, let's go then," he said, not releasing the woman at his side.
Calleigh molded herself to Horatio, resting her head on his shoulder, and walked with him to the luggage claim area. After they had grabbed Horatio's bag, they made their way to the Hummer Calleigh had driven that morning and went straight to Horatio's place.
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As soon as they had walked in the door, Horatio dropped his bags and pulled Calleigh over to the couch. They had made small talk in the car, but both were biding their time until they could sit down and have a real conversation. Horatio sat Calleigh down on the couch and took his own seat on the coffee table so that he could face her directly. He held her hands in his and looked at her bowed head, waiting for her to begin.
Calleigh didn't wait long. "I've been having trouble sleeping since you left," she said. She started to continue, and then halted, her head coming up and her eyes searching for something in his.
Horatio tried to give her some reassurance. "I've been having trouble myself," he admitted with a comforting smile, "who was to know that after one night with you I wouldn't be able to sleep by myself anymore?" His comment had the desired effect as he saw a small smile ease some of the lines of Calleigh's face. "I gather that you were more than just missing me though, weren't you?"
Calleigh nodded, dropping her gaze once more. She took a deep breath and began. "The night you left, I had a bad dream, a nightmare. I thought it was just some kind of reaction to your going away, but it came back the next night, and the night after that.every night since." She looked up for a moment when she felt the concern radiate off Horatio, and in his eyes she saw a hint of anger that she had kept this from him. She looked away again and continued. "I tried everything I could think of to make them go away. I even slept here one night, thinking that if I could feel closer to you they would go away. But it just made them worse."
"What are you dreaming, Calleigh?" Horatio asked, shelving his anger in an effort to support her. He listened to the dream sequence, more disturbed by the fact that she was reliving her capture than by his deceased state, but understanding that his death in the dream was what impacted Calleigh the most. He felt a flash of anger again as he realized that Calleigh had purposely kept this from him, telling him to stay in Daytona while she faced this alone, even after he had offered to return. His voice was tight as he asked, "Did you talk to anyone about this?"
Calleigh could tell that Horatio was upset, but she decided to finish her story before getting into a discussion over why she hadn't told him. She met his gaze again, and calmly answered. "Yes. I called the psychiatrist and met with him two days ago."
Horatio nodded curtly, satisfied that she had at least sought some professional help. "And." he prompted.
"He told me that I should talk to you about it," Calleigh confessed meekly. "He said that even though the dreams appear to be related to what happened to me, they really are being triggered by something else."
Horatio couldn't hold back the anger and hurt he was feeling as he fired off his next questions. "And yet you waited until now to tell me about it. Why, Calleigh? You knew that I was worried and that I'd want you to tell me what was going on, but you kept it from me. You lied and told me that you were ok when you obviously weren't. Why did you shut me out again? Don't you know how much that hurts me?"
Calleigh felt tears begin to streak down her face. "I know, Horatio. And I didn't tell you because I knew you'd drop everything and come to me," she admitted. "And even though I wanted to tell you and to have you come home and hold me, I just couldn't. I'm so sorry, Horatio. I didn't want you to have to abandon something important to hold my hand. I didn't want you to come back and then have to leave again to finish."
Horatio felt his anger evaporate as soon as he saw the regret and pain in Calleigh's eyes, even before she had said a word. He left his seat on the table and sat beside Calleigh, pulling her into his embrace. He soothed her as she continued to cry, knowing that she needed to release whatever pent-up emotions were inside of her. "Shhh, it's okay," he said, "I'm not angry, I just wish you would have told me. We would have figured it out. You're the most important thing in the world to me. I would never leave you when you needed me."
Calleigh nodded against his chest, leaning against him as she felt her tears stop. She sniffled a couple of times and then pulled back to look up at Horatio. She closed her eyes as he reached over to wipe the tear tracks from her face. They sat in silence for a moment as Calleigh calmed down and Horatio repositioned them so that Calleigh was leaning back against his chest, his arms wrapped securely around her. "So what did the psychiatrist say was behind these dreams of yours?" he asked.
Calleigh ducked her head even though Horatio couldn't see her face. She had gone to the appointment thinking she had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or something, but her doctor didn't agree. In fact, when the psychiatrist had given her his explanation, she had thought he was crazy. She turned slightly and looked up at Horatio. "You," she replied. She saw Horatio's eyes flash with confusion and continued, words tumbling over one another as Calleigh tried to explain before he could jump to conclusions, barely stopping long enough to take a breath. "He said that they were caused by my fear of losing you. We had finally admitted that we loved each other and had moved our relationship to the next level and then right away you had to go on this trip, and I missed you so much I couldn't breathe. I knew that you were ok and that you were coming back to me, and it wasn't even this trip that scared me, it was just the idea of not having you with me that hijacked my subconscious."
Horatio was silent. He hadn't wanted to leave Calleigh and go on the trip in the first place, and now it appeared that his going away had wreaked havoc on her in his absence. He held her tighter. "All you had to do was tell me and I would have been here," he said, this time without anger. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I didn't believe him," Calleigh answered sheepishly, relieved that Horatio wasn't angry with her. "I thought it was PTSD, or something related to the Wilsons, not something having to do with your trip. I mean, when I was awake I was never afraid that you were in danger or that you weren't coming back. And in the light of day, I don't have any doubts or fears about what we have together. Why should I think that my dreams would reflect anything different?"
Horatio smiled a little. Calleigh was feeling better; he could hear it in her voice. He turned her around and slid her onto his lap, locking his arms behind her and kissing the tip of her nose. "So what did the man recommend?" he asked.
Calleigh smiled fully, finally being able to rejoice in Horatio's return. "Seems the cause and the cure are one in the same" she answered, playfully. "He said that some quality time with the man I loved would do the trick." Calleigh punctuated her reply with soft kisses along Horatio's jaw and neck. It had been a long and lonely week, after all.
"He did, did he?" Horatio said, his voice dropping as Calleigh continued her actions, his own hands beginning to roam along her body. He pulled her back so that he could look at her face-her eyes were no longer clouded by the shadows of her nightmare, but instead were darkened by desire. He felt his own body respond and decided to take this conversation to a new location. "Well," he replied, picking her up and walking back to the bedroom, "I've always believed in following doctor's orders."
Calleigh tried to laugh, but was stopped as Horatio's mouth came crashing down on her own. By the time he let her come up for air, they had reached his bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and laid down next to her, running his hands through her hair and leaning in for another kiss. "Welcome home," Calleigh sighed before being carried away by the force of her love and passion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After "becoming reacquainted," as Horatio had put it, Calleigh snuggled next to him and sighed with contentment. "Promise me that from now on I can come with you when you go away," Calleigh said, fighting the urge to fall asleep. She felt Horatio pull her closer in response.
"I promise," he said, kissing Calleigh's forehead. "I never want to spend another night away from you for as long as I live." He felt Calleigh smile and he shifted so that he could look at her face. Her eyes were already closed, her breathing evening out. Pretty soon she would be out completely. He couldn't help smiling in return. "Get some sleep," he whispered, "I'm here to keep all the bad dreams away."
Calleigh heard him and smiled, "Love you," she murmured.
Horatio felt the last missing piece of his homecoming slide into place. He had planned on talking to Calleigh about the ring he had purchased for her in Daytona, but for now, he was content to watch her sleep. "Love you too," he said, then joined Calleigh in a restful slumber.
