Disclaimer and Spoilers: See Chapter 1
A/N: Okay, first of all: It already happened twice during this fic that ffn wouldn't let me post, so I finally took the time and completely redid my homepage. It's much faster now (yep, only one pic per site) and it's up to date. So in case ffn is wonky again, you can check out for updates there. The url is www.rajana.de.vu.
Now back to this chapter. I found it incredibly hard to write and it only went through one round of beta (usually my chapters need two), so in case you find some mistakes left, blame it on me or Kasman's trip :-) (Thanks, boo, for doing this somewhere in the middle of everything!) Or you could always tell me, then I'd have a chance to correct it. Here you go, chapter 7:
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7. DOWN
WE GO AGAIN
Logan woke up early the next morning, this time anticipating the day. Yesterday's events were still spinning in his head. The wonderful day, the great evening, that had started so romantic…well, and yeah, the long talk he had had with Chris.
He wished he could just pretend that Chris was being a smart-aleck, but he knew that it would be wrong. Chris knew what he was talking about and – what made it even worse - he was right. He had been right with almost everything he'd said about him and… well… maybe he was right with everything he'd said about his life too.
Logan sighed and got up. He took a shower and started to make breakfast.
Strange that Max seems to be still asleep. She never sleeps that much. Hope she is okay.
When breakfast was ready he wheeled to her room. He knocked, but nobody answered. Carefully he opened the door and found her still asleep, wrapped in her blanket. She's adorable. So cute.
He stopped next to her bed and carefully pulled at her blanket. "Max? Max? It's time to wake up."
She yawned and turned around. "Hey," she smiled tiredly. When she saw the digits on the alarm clock, she sat up immediately. "Whoa, that late?"
"Yep. Breakfast is ready. Meet you in the kitchen?"
Max nodded and stood up, grabbing her clothes before she went to the bathroom.
A little while later she came to the kitchen where Logan was waiting for her.
After they had finished breakfast they left for the gondola. They continued what they had started the day before. Both of them had a great time skiing, going faster and feeling more secure every time. They enjoyed the great weather and the fact that they were getting better by the minute. When it was time to have lunch they returned to the upper station of the gondola where Logan had left his wheelchair and where there was a little cabin that held a self-service restaurant. He changed to his chair, then they each got a plate and something to drink and found a place at a table outside on the big porch.
"I like it here," Max said.
Logan smiled. "Yeah. It's so warm. And it's really fun with all the snow."
"I'm really glad you like it. And you're so good at skiing. Why haven't you tried it earlier?"
He shrugged. "Well, I thought this was something I'd never do again. And Bling's therapy and basketball seemed like enough sport for me. I never checked out what else I could do."
Max nodded.
Logan continued the conversation. "What about you? You don't seem to like sport too much."
She shrugged. "Yeah, well… I don't have exactly good memories of my childhood sport sessions. So I never did anything later."
Cale you're an idiot. Why did you have to ask? That's not exactly what I wanted to remind her of. Go on, ask her something different…
"But riding your bike for Jam Pony is okay?"
"Yeah, that's a job, not a sport," she tried to explain.
"And why did you go skiing?"
Max smiled shyly, something she almost never did. "Because I thought it was something we could do to have some fun. And since I haven't been trying out much, why not start with skiing?" she told him, sad emotions from Manticore memories and the joy of being here together with Logan spun in her mind.
"Sorry for asking," Logan apologized after a moment of hesitation.
"Nothing to be sorry for," she shrugged. "Hey, are you finished? Shall we go on?"
"Sure."
Max stood up and walked through the chairs and tables that stood on the porch. She only turned around when she heard a guy shout. "Get out of my way!"
What she saw in front of her was Logan, who was confronted by a group of four guys.
"I'm sorry," Logan said, "I just wanted to get out of here."
"But that doesn't mean you're allowed to throw chairs at me."
Logan sighed. "I didn't throw a chair at you. I'm sorry if I did something…"
"Stop talking, crip. Get out of my way and get down this mountain. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Nothing, just nothing," Logan raised his hands in a gesture of defense. "If you could possibly get out of my way…I really want to leave." His hands went back to the wheels of his chair.
Max had watched everything, not saying a word. But this changed when one of the guys, a bald tall man in his late twenties, stepped closer to Logan, put a hand on his shoulder and asked. "Why are you leaving? The fun is just about to begin."
She stepped between the guy next to Logan and the other three and spoke up. "Four against one? You call that fair? Where you are from?"
One of the three guys, the one wearing a red jacket, turned to her. He scanned her from head to toe and grinned. "Wow, look what we have here. Hey, honey, what do you want?"
"I just want you to stop and let him leave."
"You're with him?" the guy asked surprised.
Max grinned back. "Yeah."
Wow, that sounds good. I'm with him. I just hope I don't have to kick those guys down the mountain.
Logan hadn't interrupted Max, but now he decided to intervene. He shoved the bald man's hand from his shoulder and asked angrily, "Can we stop that? I'm really sorry for causing any trouble, but there's nothing more I'd like to go now, so please let us leave."
When none of the guys showed any sign of reaction, Max stepped next to Logan, placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "Let's go, Logan."
They smiled at each other and decided wordlessly that it was time to simply walk past the guys. They did and, astonishingly, they weren't hindered.
In front of the station they put on their skis and after minutes of silence Max asked, "What happened back there?"
Logan hesitated and put on his gloves, before he answered. "Nothing, really. I couldn't get through between the chairs and the tables, so I pulled one aside. I hadn't seen them."
I can't believe this happened. I can't believe that here on this trip by all possible days we had to meet those morons. Not today, Max sighed in her head. I don't want to go back all the way we have come during this trip.
Logan cursed almost soundlessly, "Damn chair."
It hadn't been meant for her ears, but still Max had heard it. She released the binding of the skis she had just closed and walked over to Logan. She kneeled down in the snow next to him to look him in the eyes and said softly. "Wrong answer. It's not 'damn chair'. It's 'damn morons', okay?" She smiled at him, trying to make her smile spread over to his face and finally she succeeded.
"Yeah, okay," Logan said, smiling a tentative smile and pulling her into a short hug. "Damn morons."
Max kept smiling and asked, "You're ready to go skiing now?"
"Yep. Let's go."
They managed to go down two slopes without any incidents, but on the next slope they weren't that lucky.
Max and Logan stopped where the chairlift ended and enjoyed the view. "Fantastic," Logan said, looking at the mountain panorama, and Max nodded.
"Yeah, it is. Ready to go down?"
Logan nodded and watched Max go ahead. A second later he followed her, maneuvering the mono ski down the slope until he had to stop because someone braked his snowboard hard in front of him, leaving him in a cloud of snow.
"Idiot," he cursed.
"Look who we have here," the snowboarder gave back and soon three more boarders stopped next to them. Logan recognized the four guys from the lunch break and sighed silently.
"What the hell are you doing here?" the first guy, again the bald one, asked.
Logan looked at him through his sunglasses and said in a friendly way, "What does it look like? I'm skiing down this mountain."
"Yeah, and right in my way. Go home and leave the slopes for us, gimp."
I'm not allowed skiing here? I could accidentally push the ice claws of the crutches right into his calf, but I'm afraid the other three would kill me right away. And I'm definitely not as fast as them. Great. You should have stayed at the cabin, Logan.
"Why don't you just go past and ignore me? What do you think?" he suggested, his voice tense.
"Nah, that's boring," the guy in the red jacket said. "Where's that girl we saw you with? Did she finally figure out that there are better things to do than hanging around with you?"
Logan breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, when he heard Max's voice behind him.
Arrgh. She is saving me again. I can do that alone. I need to do that alone. Somehow.
Max stepped closer, her skis over her shoulder. "No, she didn't figure out anything like that. She was waiting around the corner. And you're really getting on her nerves."
Damn, I can't believe they found him again. How is this day ever going to have a happy ending if these guys keep destroying everything I try to achieve? If this is going to get any worse, then Logan is never going to talk to me again.
"Oh, honey, there you are. Come on, you can't seriously ski with him."
Max put the skis in the snow behind Logan and grinned sarcastically. "Well, yeah, you're right. I'm not skiing with him, because some morons keep accosting him."
She stepped next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. Logan looked up to her and shook his head. "Max, it's okay. It's not your affair."
Not my affair? What's he thinking? That he can take out four guys? Well, I know he can defend himself pretty well, but not against four guys. Nobody could that. At least nobody who's not Manticore.
Nevertheless she stepped back. "Just evening up the chances."
The guy in the red jacket spoke up again. "Girl, you're on the wrong side."
"No, she's not," Logan replied. "We're here together and we've been skiing. I don't think it's so crowded here that I'm really an obstacle for any of you. And I…"
Logan couldn't finish his sentence because the bald guy, who had released his bindings, stepped closer to him and pretended to stumble. He leaned against Logan and knocked him over. He had no chance to keep his balance, so that he tumbled down the mountain. When his downward trip ended, he lay on his side, the seat shell still attached to him, but he had lost both of his crutches and he knew immediately that he wouldn't be able to get down the mountain without them.
I'm stuck on this mountain. I can't believe I just tumbled down that mountain in front of Max's eyes. That's so embarrassing. And I'm not even able to get up. I wish the earth would swallow me whole.
Looking up from where he had come, he saw Max taking out the four guys without breaking a sweat. He saw how she raised one of the guys' snowboard and brought him to dreamland, when his head crashed hard onto the snow. The next guy earned a kick with her ski boots into his midsection and went down. Then she dodged the bald one's punch and grabbed his snowboard, which lay still on the ground, and pushed it hard with the brink against the chest of the red-jacket-guy. When she pulled it away to the right hand side, the red jacket tore and the guy cried out. She'd obviously cut badly into his upper arm. With only the bald guy left, she concentrated on using her fists and boots and punched into his face and kicked into his midsection, until she got tired of it and rammed her knee up between his legs. With a loud moan he sank to his knees and held his injured parts.
Max grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and hissed, "Stop bothering my friend. Get lost. The next time I see you threatening him, you're dead. Is that understood?"
Too hurt to answer, he only flinched, but Max grabbed him tighter. "Understood?"
He nodded slowly.
"Great. And tell your friend with the bad cut in his arm, that I'm not 'honey'!"
He nodded again and Max finally let him go.
Wordlessly she put on her skis, grabbed her poles and went down the slope, picking up Logan's crutches on the way.
Logan was still struggling to sit up, but angry as he was and without the crutches for stabilization, he still hadn't managed when Max stepped next to him. Wordlessly she reached out her hand for him to pull himself up and once seated, she handed him the crutches.
He's really, really angry and frustrated. And I can even understand him. At least a little. But shouldn't he be able to ignore guys like those? Shouldn't he finally? Max asked herself.
Logan was still angry. Saved by Max. Again. I wonder when I'll ever be able to live my life independently. Without needing her to come and rescue me.
"Do you want to go on?" Max asked carefully.
Logan shook his head. "I'm done. I'm going home."
They didn't speak on their way to the car and back to the cabin. Logan was driving, his eyes on the road, and Max was trying to find the right words to pull him out of his misery. When the words wouldn't come, she didn't speak either. Finally they reached the cabin.
Without a single word Logan went to his bedroom, leaving Max alone in the living room. She shook her head, disappointed because of his behavior and the day as such. She tried to read a little, but the book wasn't holding her attention as it had been the day before. Today's events kept spinning in her mind and she couldn't decide if she was more angry at Logan's attitude, at her idea of going skiing or at the guys that had started all the trouble.
She sighed, stood up and went over to the bathroom. When she opened the door she saw Logan in his chair in front of the toilet which was on the other side of the room, his back was to her. Obviously he hadn't noticed her yet. Her first thought was to close the door and leave as fast as she could, but something held her in place.
Wonder what he's doing there. He's not honestly peeing from his wheelchair into the toilet, is he?
She stretched her back to find out what he was doing and in exactly the same moment she saw the catheter, Logan became aware of her presence and turned his head around.
Oh my god, can it get any more embarrassing? He asked himself, his cheeks reddening. She is not standing there, is she? Oh lord, she is. Damn, damn, damn. I didn't lock the other door. And now she's watching me pee through a tube. Great. Can this day be any more humiliating? What is she going to think of me? Not only did I not know how to handle those guys, now she knows that I can't even use the toilet. I wish I was dead.
Max was still standing there, watching him with a mixture of curiosity and shock.
I never thought about it, she admitted to herself. Up until now I never thought about what a spinal cord injury really meant. For me it was just that Logan can't walk. Period. But now… he's catheterizing himself, so he isn't able to go to the toilet. And if his bladder doesn't work, what about…well… other things? I've been such an idiot. I've been pretending to understand, but in reality I didn't have the foggiest notion. What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to say?
"Don't you think you've seen enough ?" Logan asked sharply, turning his head back.
"Logan, I...I'm sorry, I…I didn't mean to…" Max stuttered, but Logan wouldn't let her finish.
"Leave, Max, please leave."
Irritated she looked down to the ground, then up at the back side of his back and his strong shoulders over the backrest of the chair. "Sorry," she said, before she headed out, leaving Logan alone in the bathroom.
I definitely hit rock bottom today, Logan sighed, when she was gone. He closed his eyes, pretending none of today's events had happened, but when he opened his eyes again, he was still looking at what Max had just seen. A man, unable to control his own bodily functions. Angrily he pulled the catheter out, ready to throw it across the bathroom but deciding to let it be. He finished his task as usual, staring back at the man in the mirror when washing his hands.
His look was cold, emotionless and the color of his skin seemed gray. He wasn't sick, he was tired and humiliated. There's no way I'll ever be able to face Max again, he told his reflection. No way.
Max, in the meantime, had returned to the living room.
Can we sink any deeper? It's hard to believe that it was just yesterday that we had this great day. Now it's all over and Logan's mood is even worse than before. I know I should have closed the door the moment I saw him in the bathroom, but I didn't. Now I feel horrible and I don't know what to do about it. Why did we never talk about it? Why did I have to find out like this?
Sighing she stood up, slipped on her shoes and went out to grab some more wood so she could light the fire.
Angry or frustrated or whatever, there's no need for either one of us to freeze to death.
