Day 5
Sam
Today we climbed through a labyrinth of razor sharp rocks. Feeling about ready to kick Legolas. I swear if that elf prances ahead to 'look for enemies' I'm going to…well, let's just hope we don't pass any cliffs. My job has become even more difficult. Not only do I have to deal with Aragorn, but now that persistent mortal woman, Elizabeth who never shuts her mouth. While she pinches poor Mr. Frodo to death, I have to keep Aragorn from pulling out his sword. Or maybe it's Jack. Can't really tell. Except Jack always says 'Savvy.' What is savvy? Most improper use of grammar.
Have been giving Will lessons on how he can win Elizabeth back, though today, Merry told me Will fancies Gimli. Gross. I think Gimli likes Elizabeth…this could be good. Hopefully, either Gimli or Will can get Elizabeth out of Mr. Frodo's bubble, as it's getting harder to find time alone. He needs his back-rub and foot massage…I think they're all jealous that Mr. Frodo belongs to me, and I'll kill them if they try anything. Jack's rum was quite good, though it seems to be taking its toll on Aragorn. He's lost all tracking ability and this morning he walked into three trees, and somehow managed to trip over a boulder. Twit.
Merry and Pippin enjoy the rum also, but there seems to be no effect on them. They somehow managed to catch our fish breakfast this morning using only their hands…still it's hard to believe. They also managed to forget to put out the fire. Which explains the large black cloud of smoke billowing from the prairie, miles back. Was also told by Mr. Frodo that Merry is trying to learn pointy hat trick. I didn't know he had a pointy hat. Small, insignificant hobbit (that's me) not use to these worldly ways. Must become more observant.
Frodo said ring feels heavier. Told him it was a mix between a little too much rum and Elizabeth on his back. I think ring is affecting everyone. I think we should give the ring to the nancing elf that just ran ahead again. Then he can lead himself to his own doom. I swear, if he even…
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
Now considering quitting this pathetic fellowship and taking Frodo with me. I'm sick of all these disgruntled, drunk mortals, love struck dwarfs, and nancing elves. Merry and Pippin not so bad. Rather enjoy their company. Everyone else must die before I go insane!!!
