Day 6
Merry
Are getting ever closer to Mount Doom. Had to walk through marshes. Legolas most annoying. Keeps complaining about all the mosquitoes and mud. Sam 'accidentally' shoved Legolas into the water. Now he's really complaining. Thinking about using blue bandana to gag him. Will was looking into water at what he though was his reflection. Nearly had a heart attack when he yelled bloody murder. I thought something serious had happened. Turned out his reflection was ugly beyond reason. Had to explain to moron that it was only dead person staring back up at him and mimicking him. He settled down after that.
Frodo accidentally fell into water and was grabbed by dead people. Why does everyone want Frodo? I have a better sense of humor. Of course, Sam saved 'poor Mr. Frodo.' Pippin and I found it hysterical. He looked like a wet dog. Smelt like one too. Legolas offered him some cologne. Sam punched him. Legolas now pouting.
Pippin told me today he looked up to Jack. I reminded him it was because he was a short hobbit whereas Jack is a tall mortal. He later explained he looked up to him as a role model. Poor Pippin. He has no one else. He now has to look up to a drunk mortal who hasn't shaved since the old age, who can't speak proper English, and has his entire wardrobe in his hair. Think he's just sucking up to Jack to get more rum.
Aragorn starting to look like tall shaggy dwarf. A little manly stubble, quite a turn on. Now he's just freaky looking. Not to mention he loads on the mascara. Even Jack 'accidentally' splashed him in the face with water to clean off the make-up. Will also splashed him as to rid him of the smell. Lots of accidents happening today… Also, flying Ringwraiths swooped in. As we all ran for cover, Aragorn just stood there, laughing like an idiot. He still had his bottle of rum as he cheered and pointed, crying out, "look at the pretty bird!"
Jack pulled out his pistol to shoot the moron, but Gimli held him back. Aragorn suddenly decided to do the Macarena. Considered taking Sting and finishing the job myself. Pippin laughed aloud when Aragorn shook his touch vigorously and jumped. Sam also laughed as Aragorn tried singing the Spanish words in Elvish. Most pathetic human I've ever seen. Oh well. Scared away flying Ringwraith.
Elizabeth most annoying as she won't leave us hobbits alone…she needs to shut her mouth. Please!! Also, found out she took ring from Frodo, she was afraid he was a wizard in disguise. She said 'that would have been terrible!' Stupid mortal. Explains why Frodo's been running up to everybody and slapping them across the face yelling, "It's mine! I found it! It came to ME!" Gimli somehow got ring back to Frodo, who stroked it whispering, "My precious…my own. My PRECIOUS!" Elizabeth no longer speaking to Gimli. Gimli took it out on Legolas challenging him to a fight. Legolas simply ran away.
Thinking about getting another Mohawk. Don't know what Legolas did with razor. Also, thinking of leaving fellowship to go find some ripe vegetables. They're good to eat and they keep Pippin distracted from going anywhere near Jack. A carrot sounds nice about now…
