I enter Alden's mind, and it's not like the books I've read described. In the books they described that there are memories that are like shards of glass, poking at you and your mind. The shards would be so painful, that you would lose your hold on reality, and you would literally lose your mind.
Alden's mind is different. It's like an endless ocean, wave after wave of memories. And it's like the memories are sectioned into different waves. Like they were categorized based off of the emotions he felt towards those memories. But there's something that's the same between his mind and the ones I've read about. The memories are broken into shards. In the waves, there are fragments of memories here and there. There's no memory that's whole. Sure, there are memories that have multiple fragments around them, but none are pieced together correctly.
I look down, and I see that I'm floating about the "water." I'm floating just high enough to where I'm just about to touch it, but not close enough. I try to move around, and my mind is doing the same kind of push it does when we were levitating objects in PE at Foxfire.
I approach one of the waves when it just crashed down onto the other memories. I reached down to touch it, but when I did, there was a searing pain in my hand. It felt like I just stuck my hand into acid. I look at my hand, it looks like there are skin-colored particles floating up and away. I was fading away here, so that probably means that I'm fading away in the real world too. That'll probably give Della and Biana a heart attack if they're watching me. Or even if they're still in the room.
I look around, and I try to find some happy memories. I can't touch the water. I've figured that out the hard way. I need to save my energy for inflicting.
I push myself to go farther and farther away from where I just came from. I need to find some happy memories. I see a woman in a fluffy white dress, walking down a white trail. This is most likely his wedding. I take in his emotions, and all of a sudden, I'm hit with a wave of happiness and love coming from just one memory.
I think that this is enough to help him. I float up, just to make sure that I don't get hit by the waves of memories. I close my eyes, and start inflicting all of those emotions I felt from his wedding day, and all the love I feel for him. Yeah, sure. He's not my dad, but he's like a second father to me. I consider both Alden and Grady my fathers.
I used a lot of energy on inflicting, but I'm guessing it's working, because when I open my eyes, the shards in the waves are moving, piecing themselves together like a puzzle.
I'm going to start transmitting to him now. "Alden. Please, you have to wake up! Nobody is the same without you! You're the glue that holds your family together! Fitz is practically turning crazy without you. He has a crazed look in his eyes, and it's honestly scary. And Biana may look fine, but, like Fitz, there's something off about her eyes. They're dull and dead. And Della by far is the worst. She looks downright depressed without you by her side. She needs you. You're her other half. Please, you have to wake up! If not for me, do it for your family. You once told me that family is the most important thing to you, and that you would do anything for your family. Well now your family needs you! And they need you badly! Please! Just wake up!"
I open my eyes from transmitting, and it looks like almost all of the memories are pieced back together. It's time to put my plan into action before it's too late.
I let go of myself, so that I'm falling into the water. There is a searing pain all over my body, but right before I make my head go under, I inflict one more time, and when I look around, all of the memoires are back to where they should be. I smile to myself. I look down at my hands, and I'm not fading away anymore.
But all the pain is slowly creeping up towards my head, and now I know what's happening. My mind is officially breaking. I finally got my wish. Not to commit what is basically elvin suicide, but I don't cause people anymore pain. They'll all forget about me in a few months. And I'm ok with that.
Finally, I take one last breath, and I let my head go under. For about five seconds, everything is numb. Then, waves of pain, after pain, after pain, rattling my brain. I haven't felt this much pain since Mr. Forkle fixed my brain. But that pain was all over. Right now, it's all just in my head.
I can barely think straight. But I know one thing is for sure.
My mind is officially broken.
