Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or recognizable any characters
and/or places thereof
Author's note: My computer is acting up right now, but when it is working properly again I will put the letters in italics. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Lady Laughing Owl: Hehe, remember the pole at Lili's party? Emily was so mad about that. . .He is actually still very much a child, as you will see in this chapter, especially from his jealousy and his thoughts toward himself.
Gwyn: I took the name from 'King Lear'. Thanks for pointing out the tense problem, I've done my best to fix it. As for the Legolas story, I'm not sure what I'll be posting when, just that I will be posting and eventually.
Endril McMerlyn: Thanks! I love hearing that: other people enjoying my work and it being original. Thanks for saying so, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!
Thanks to everyone for their reviews, I love hearing from you!
*****Present date:
When Estel had stopped crying, he pulled away from his friend and sat cross- legged, glaring defiantly. Legolas sighed, suspecting Estel's intention. The Elf said nothing, but took a letter from his pocket and handed it to Estel, who looked back at him in question. Legolas nodded towards the letter, and Estel unrolled it and began to read.
My dear Estel,
It has taken far too long for me to pause and think upon all that has recently become so clear to me, and only in doing so did I realize that you above all others, who has not asked, deserves to hear the full story. For this reason, I compose this message to you now. Hate me for it, but know the truth.
Elothar is my child, this cannot be denied. It had been my intent to marry her mother: alas, this came undone. The Eregion situation.was not new to me. Many years ago, when the settlements were growing more aggressive, Elrohir and I sought to explore their motives and planned actions. Then it was that I met Elothar's mother, who lived at that time among Elves, and thought I loved her. I did love her. I stayed a year in Eregion. Pellatal was my best friend, Elothar's mother my love. I might have stayed my life in that place, had not the fighting come.
One of the most successful raids of Men upon Elves occurred in the spring of that year. They took every Man from the city of Elves, Elothar's mother among them. She had come to be there as a captive, it is true, but was living pleasantly and happily among the Elves by that time. When I sought to see her again, I was turned away from the city of Men. Upon my return, defeated, to the Elven dwellings, Pellatal found me. He urged me join the Elves who planned a strike against the Men. I reminded him of Elothar's mother, and that I, too, was half-Man. Pellatal was strongly devoted to his people, and it is this that came between us. Not a day goes by I do not think of them.
Now this fighting has become a part of your mind, also. Would I could take it away from you, Estel. Yet perhaps it is for the best. I am sorry that you have to hurt, little brother, but if you learn from this experience--allow it to shape you instead of destroying you--there will be nothing more valuable to you in later life. You will need this. Let experience nourish you. Remember that you have done much for many people. Thank you, and thank you for returning my child to me. Know that I love you, Estel. Know that we all love you. Yours, Elladan.
Estel didn't know what to feel. Shock, pride, anger, and love welled within him, urging him in different directions at once. A part of him wanted to tear the letter to pieces, another to cry. "Fighting has become a part of your mind," Elladan had said. What did that mean? Did he condemn Estel to a life of destruction? And why had he not spoken before of the events of Eregion in previous years? Who knew about it? What of Elothar, where was she now? And the others, where were they? "Wh-where is my brother now?" asked Estel, anger at last winning. "Why, if he cares as he claims to, does he not come himself? What of my father? Why do they send you?"
"Estel, you have been here for nearly a week, and in this time your brothers and your father have been tending the injured. Those harmed in the great battle, the night before we left Eregion, many of them have come here. They.there has hardly been a moment for rest since our party arrived in Imladris," Legolas replied.
Estel understood, but selfishly wish his father had come to speak to him. Did he not care? "A letter. They sent me a letter," Estel said scornfully. "That is all I am to them?"
"Actually," said Legolas, "many letters." He produced then an abundance of parchment, all written over in different scrawls. "Elrohir, Karnil, Wilwarindi, Muriel, Naarie, Elothar. They have all said, Estel, that they are grateful to you, and sorry. They wish things had turned out differently."
"And Minyadur, Alkarinque, Elemmiire, and Luinil, I suppose, ask why I did not manage to get myself killed?" remarked Estel with a snide disrespect.
"You cannot please everyone, Estel," replied Legolas, to which Estel gave a sarcastic smile. "You cannot. Minyadur and Alkarinque were not in Eregion; they cannot understand what transpired there. Elemmiire accepted your leadership and would have followed you to the end. When he wakes, I am sure he will wish to speak with you: since he fell from upon his mount, he has neither stirred nor spoken."
"And Luinil?" Estel was unwilling to give up. "Does he send me a death- threat?"
"Luinil never accepted you, Estel, either because of your race, because everyone else disrespected you, or simply because he was unsure of himself. He did not accept you, and now never will, for he is dead."
Estel could not reply. He stared at Legolas for a moment, then took up one of the letters and began to read.
Estel,
There is so much I cannot say to you. You are so amazing Estel, so utterly good. You treated me like a person after I treated you like dirt. That will not happen any longer. I--(this had been crossed out) Please forgive--(this, too, had been crossed out) I will never forget how kind you were to me.
-Muriel
Hello, Estel! This is Naarie writing. I wanted to say thank you, because in many ways you saved my life, and also I am sorry for being unkind to you before. We never really gave you a chance to show it, but I think you are an awesome boy. It would be nice to know you better, and perhaps someday soon I will. Namaarie, Naarie (look, it rhymes!)
Estel,
Hey there, we have had no word of you. Are you all right? Yesterday Wilwarindi was drinking milk and he laughed at my song, and the milk came squirting through his nose. You would have laughed, I think. Come say hello to us some time, yes? I shall sing that song again and cause Wilwarindi to spit through his nose.
-Karnil
Estel,
I sit here, parchment blank, pen in hand, with so much to say and such an inability to say it. Insufficient it seems to pen my emotions; some time we must speak in person, if this is all right with you.
-Wilwarindi
Estel stared at the pages in wonder. He understood, then, Muriel's reluctance to speak. She was forcing herself to face something she would rather deny. Naarie wished to make amends for the past; he had, it seemed, accepted what had happened, and dealt with this in his own manner. He had accepted Estel not as a boy he had known, but as a boy he did not know. And Karnil was denying what had happened. Who would not? Karnil had lost his brother, and would not likely be readily accepting of that. Wilwarindi simply spoke the truth. 'Will I speak with him?' wondered Estel. 'Yes,' he decided, because Wilwarindi had asked, and Estel, too, had much to say.
Dear Estel,
Oh, child. For so many reasons I am sorry you had to experience that. The world is cruel in many ways. Take comfort in the love of your family and the knowledge that you have made it through this trial. You have shown that you are capable of incredible physical feats. Now is the time to show yourself capable of incredible feats of emotion. Be strong, Estel. Don't give in to grief. Love-from, Elrohir.
Estel set aside Elrohir's letter after reading it closely two times, then reread Elladan's. They both preached to him, and in essence told him the same: move on. What if he did not want to move on? He would dwell if he felt like dwelling. It was then that, upon meditating on this, Estel realized that he did not wish to dwell. He wished to move on, knowing that the events of the past few weeks would ever be with him. Setting this thought aside, he delicately lifted the final parchment. Eltohar.a part of him envied her, envied her for everything she had. He emphasized with her feeling of not belonging to anyone, yet she had found a family, and one of the best families Estel could imagine, the only family he ever wanted to be a part of.
Estel,
"Her writing is very neat," he observed. "I did not think she would be literate at all."
"She is not," Legolas replied. "She dictated the letter and I wrote it for her. Glorfindel has expressed an interest in her education, claiming he is an old hand at the art of 'Educating the Peredhil'. I think he enjoys teaching you children, to be quite honest."
"Mm," replied Estel. He had already returned to the letter.
Estel,
Oh, thank you Estel, thank you so much! It is so wonderful here in Imladris. It has been only a week, yet I am beginning to feel comfortable among the Elves. I am even learning their language. When I need to be on my own, no one minds my going down to the river for a while. I believe that you spoke truly, and the Elves are a peaceful people, although I am frightened a little of them. It is strange to think of myself as an Elf.
It is an amazement to suddenly have a family, someone to love, who loves me. I have not yet grown accustom to using familiar names for people, but have been told that it is completely unnecessary for me to refer to Elladan, Elrohir, and Elrond as "Lord" as they are my family. Please do not feel I have taken something from you, Estel. I rather hope we might be as brother and sister, although you are my uncle, if anything. How very odd.
I must go now, Estel, for I have a lesson in moments. Letters are so confusing, what shall become of me when I must write out whole words? Ah, well.Legolas says you are not feeling well. When you feel better, will you visit me? I hope so.
Sincerely, Elothar
Her name had been written in wobbling letters, as though she had been writing with great care, and from this Estel gathered that she had copied over Legolas's lightly penned letters. He wanted to cry, for never before had he felt as though Elothar was taking his place, but now he realized.who would have need or want for a stupid human when they could have an Elf, a flesh-and-blood relative in place of a fostered vagabond? No one would. He had been cast out, he realized; his family was now Elothar's. She had stolen much from him, and he felt a surge of anger.
"If you are well enough," said Legolas cautiously, "Lord Elrond sends for you. Shall I tell him you will not be coming, quite yet?"
"No," said Estel. "I will go now to him."
"You might comb your hair, or wash up," Legolas suggested, looking Estel up and down. The boy looked disheveled, indeed he appeared the sort of vagrant most would turn away from their doors.
"No," replied Estel. "He may take me as I." But this meant: 'He would not care. I am of no more purpose now.'
*****
To be continued (only one more chapter to go!)
Author's note: My computer is acting up right now, but when it is working properly again I will put the letters in italics. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Lady Laughing Owl: Hehe, remember the pole at Lili's party? Emily was so mad about that. . .He is actually still very much a child, as you will see in this chapter, especially from his jealousy and his thoughts toward himself.
Gwyn: I took the name from 'King Lear'. Thanks for pointing out the tense problem, I've done my best to fix it. As for the Legolas story, I'm not sure what I'll be posting when, just that I will be posting and eventually.
Endril McMerlyn: Thanks! I love hearing that: other people enjoying my work and it being original. Thanks for saying so, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!
Thanks to everyone for their reviews, I love hearing from you!
*****Present date:
When Estel had stopped crying, he pulled away from his friend and sat cross- legged, glaring defiantly. Legolas sighed, suspecting Estel's intention. The Elf said nothing, but took a letter from his pocket and handed it to Estel, who looked back at him in question. Legolas nodded towards the letter, and Estel unrolled it and began to read.
My dear Estel,
It has taken far too long for me to pause and think upon all that has recently become so clear to me, and only in doing so did I realize that you above all others, who has not asked, deserves to hear the full story. For this reason, I compose this message to you now. Hate me for it, but know the truth.
Elothar is my child, this cannot be denied. It had been my intent to marry her mother: alas, this came undone. The Eregion situation.was not new to me. Many years ago, when the settlements were growing more aggressive, Elrohir and I sought to explore their motives and planned actions. Then it was that I met Elothar's mother, who lived at that time among Elves, and thought I loved her. I did love her. I stayed a year in Eregion. Pellatal was my best friend, Elothar's mother my love. I might have stayed my life in that place, had not the fighting come.
One of the most successful raids of Men upon Elves occurred in the spring of that year. They took every Man from the city of Elves, Elothar's mother among them. She had come to be there as a captive, it is true, but was living pleasantly and happily among the Elves by that time. When I sought to see her again, I was turned away from the city of Men. Upon my return, defeated, to the Elven dwellings, Pellatal found me. He urged me join the Elves who planned a strike against the Men. I reminded him of Elothar's mother, and that I, too, was half-Man. Pellatal was strongly devoted to his people, and it is this that came between us. Not a day goes by I do not think of them.
Now this fighting has become a part of your mind, also. Would I could take it away from you, Estel. Yet perhaps it is for the best. I am sorry that you have to hurt, little brother, but if you learn from this experience--allow it to shape you instead of destroying you--there will be nothing more valuable to you in later life. You will need this. Let experience nourish you. Remember that you have done much for many people. Thank you, and thank you for returning my child to me. Know that I love you, Estel. Know that we all love you. Yours, Elladan.
Estel didn't know what to feel. Shock, pride, anger, and love welled within him, urging him in different directions at once. A part of him wanted to tear the letter to pieces, another to cry. "Fighting has become a part of your mind," Elladan had said. What did that mean? Did he condemn Estel to a life of destruction? And why had he not spoken before of the events of Eregion in previous years? Who knew about it? What of Elothar, where was she now? And the others, where were they? "Wh-where is my brother now?" asked Estel, anger at last winning. "Why, if he cares as he claims to, does he not come himself? What of my father? Why do they send you?"
"Estel, you have been here for nearly a week, and in this time your brothers and your father have been tending the injured. Those harmed in the great battle, the night before we left Eregion, many of them have come here. They.there has hardly been a moment for rest since our party arrived in Imladris," Legolas replied.
Estel understood, but selfishly wish his father had come to speak to him. Did he not care? "A letter. They sent me a letter," Estel said scornfully. "That is all I am to them?"
"Actually," said Legolas, "many letters." He produced then an abundance of parchment, all written over in different scrawls. "Elrohir, Karnil, Wilwarindi, Muriel, Naarie, Elothar. They have all said, Estel, that they are grateful to you, and sorry. They wish things had turned out differently."
"And Minyadur, Alkarinque, Elemmiire, and Luinil, I suppose, ask why I did not manage to get myself killed?" remarked Estel with a snide disrespect.
"You cannot please everyone, Estel," replied Legolas, to which Estel gave a sarcastic smile. "You cannot. Minyadur and Alkarinque were not in Eregion; they cannot understand what transpired there. Elemmiire accepted your leadership and would have followed you to the end. When he wakes, I am sure he will wish to speak with you: since he fell from upon his mount, he has neither stirred nor spoken."
"And Luinil?" Estel was unwilling to give up. "Does he send me a death- threat?"
"Luinil never accepted you, Estel, either because of your race, because everyone else disrespected you, or simply because he was unsure of himself. He did not accept you, and now never will, for he is dead."
Estel could not reply. He stared at Legolas for a moment, then took up one of the letters and began to read.
Estel,
There is so much I cannot say to you. You are so amazing Estel, so utterly good. You treated me like a person after I treated you like dirt. That will not happen any longer. I--(this had been crossed out) Please forgive--(this, too, had been crossed out) I will never forget how kind you were to me.
-Muriel
Hello, Estel! This is Naarie writing. I wanted to say thank you, because in many ways you saved my life, and also I am sorry for being unkind to you before. We never really gave you a chance to show it, but I think you are an awesome boy. It would be nice to know you better, and perhaps someday soon I will. Namaarie, Naarie (look, it rhymes!)
Estel,
Hey there, we have had no word of you. Are you all right? Yesterday Wilwarindi was drinking milk and he laughed at my song, and the milk came squirting through his nose. You would have laughed, I think. Come say hello to us some time, yes? I shall sing that song again and cause Wilwarindi to spit through his nose.
-Karnil
Estel,
I sit here, parchment blank, pen in hand, with so much to say and such an inability to say it. Insufficient it seems to pen my emotions; some time we must speak in person, if this is all right with you.
-Wilwarindi
Estel stared at the pages in wonder. He understood, then, Muriel's reluctance to speak. She was forcing herself to face something she would rather deny. Naarie wished to make amends for the past; he had, it seemed, accepted what had happened, and dealt with this in his own manner. He had accepted Estel not as a boy he had known, but as a boy he did not know. And Karnil was denying what had happened. Who would not? Karnil had lost his brother, and would not likely be readily accepting of that. Wilwarindi simply spoke the truth. 'Will I speak with him?' wondered Estel. 'Yes,' he decided, because Wilwarindi had asked, and Estel, too, had much to say.
Dear Estel,
Oh, child. For so many reasons I am sorry you had to experience that. The world is cruel in many ways. Take comfort in the love of your family and the knowledge that you have made it through this trial. You have shown that you are capable of incredible physical feats. Now is the time to show yourself capable of incredible feats of emotion. Be strong, Estel. Don't give in to grief. Love-from, Elrohir.
Estel set aside Elrohir's letter after reading it closely two times, then reread Elladan's. They both preached to him, and in essence told him the same: move on. What if he did not want to move on? He would dwell if he felt like dwelling. It was then that, upon meditating on this, Estel realized that he did not wish to dwell. He wished to move on, knowing that the events of the past few weeks would ever be with him. Setting this thought aside, he delicately lifted the final parchment. Eltohar.a part of him envied her, envied her for everything she had. He emphasized with her feeling of not belonging to anyone, yet she had found a family, and one of the best families Estel could imagine, the only family he ever wanted to be a part of.
Estel,
"Her writing is very neat," he observed. "I did not think she would be literate at all."
"She is not," Legolas replied. "She dictated the letter and I wrote it for her. Glorfindel has expressed an interest in her education, claiming he is an old hand at the art of 'Educating the Peredhil'. I think he enjoys teaching you children, to be quite honest."
"Mm," replied Estel. He had already returned to the letter.
Estel,
Oh, thank you Estel, thank you so much! It is so wonderful here in Imladris. It has been only a week, yet I am beginning to feel comfortable among the Elves. I am even learning their language. When I need to be on my own, no one minds my going down to the river for a while. I believe that you spoke truly, and the Elves are a peaceful people, although I am frightened a little of them. It is strange to think of myself as an Elf.
It is an amazement to suddenly have a family, someone to love, who loves me. I have not yet grown accustom to using familiar names for people, but have been told that it is completely unnecessary for me to refer to Elladan, Elrohir, and Elrond as "Lord" as they are my family. Please do not feel I have taken something from you, Estel. I rather hope we might be as brother and sister, although you are my uncle, if anything. How very odd.
I must go now, Estel, for I have a lesson in moments. Letters are so confusing, what shall become of me when I must write out whole words? Ah, well.Legolas says you are not feeling well. When you feel better, will you visit me? I hope so.
Sincerely, Elothar
Her name had been written in wobbling letters, as though she had been writing with great care, and from this Estel gathered that she had copied over Legolas's lightly penned letters. He wanted to cry, for never before had he felt as though Elothar was taking his place, but now he realized.who would have need or want for a stupid human when they could have an Elf, a flesh-and-blood relative in place of a fostered vagabond? No one would. He had been cast out, he realized; his family was now Elothar's. She had stolen much from him, and he felt a surge of anger.
"If you are well enough," said Legolas cautiously, "Lord Elrond sends for you. Shall I tell him you will not be coming, quite yet?"
"No," said Estel. "I will go now to him."
"You might comb your hair, or wash up," Legolas suggested, looking Estel up and down. The boy looked disheveled, indeed he appeared the sort of vagrant most would turn away from their doors.
"No," replied Estel. "He may take me as I." But this meant: 'He would not care. I am of no more purpose now.'
*****
To be continued (only one more chapter to go!)
