Insanity in Ancient Egypt
Chapter One: A most odd beginning
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Two weeks notice. Kaona and Sakira are my
cousin's, but Artemis Entrari is MINE!!! So no steal!!
The Pharaoh of Egypt sat in his throne. This was an exciting day. Today he would choose five more wives to add to his 'collection.' Meanwhile, his secretary, Kaona was standing by a pillar with a flyswatter. 'That fly is so interesting.' She thought to herself.
"My Pharaoh," said Yami's scribe. "It is time for you to choose your new wives."
"Very well then." Said Yami. Unfortunately for Kaona, she was standing in the line of brides and didn't know it.
"I'll start from the left scribe." Said the Pharaoh. "No,no,no,no,no,no, YES! No,no,no,no,no,no, YES!" As he did this, the floor underneath each bride would drop into a pit of evil hairstylists if he said "No." Or, it would magically go to the ceiling where the good stylists would 'doll them up'.
"No,no,no,no,no,no, YES! No,no,no,no,no,no, YES! Oh I like her!" he said, pointing at Kaona.
"But she's your secretary!" said the scribe.
"Well then. That's her position? Lowly secretary! Give her a promotion! Make her my chief advisor!!"
"I-I'm sorry what?" said Kaona, finally turning her attention away from the fly.
"Congratulations!" yelled the Pharaoh. "You're my new chief advisor! And my wife!"
"WWWhat!" screamed Kaona as her platform began floating upward.
"Oh and scribe," said the Pharaoh. "Fire my old chief advisor won't you."
"With pleasure sire." Said the scribe.
Five minutes later, a peasant walking in the street yelled, "Hey look everybody! Someone at the palace got fired!" yelled the peasant as he watched a figure being thrown out a window.
Egyptian Market: A woman was running on the rooftops of the buildings in the market. Her name was Sakira. She was a tomb robber. The Pharaoh's guards were after her again. But she knew she could always outrun them. She always did.
Kaona felt like she was having a nightmare. She was forced to help him decide on everything. ( I'm basing this whole thing about Kaona being the Pharaoh's servant on the movie Two Weeks Notice.)
Right now she was helping him decide on a new mattress.
"So, Kaona," said the Pharaoh as he laid down next to Kaona. "What do you think of this mattress for the royal bedroom?"
"Well sir," she said dully. "It's very firm."
"But is it, too firm?" he said as he started bouncing on the mattress.
"Oh my Ra." she said as she watched him.
"It has come to my attention," said the Pharaoh. "That our high priest (Kaiba.) has turned against us and left. I shall now read from this parchment the name of our new high priest."
'This is it!' thought Bakura. 'I'm a shoe-in! Not only am I a close friend of the Pharaoh's, but I'm also the head general, and, I have tons of religious experience!!'
"Our new high priest shall be," began the Pharaoh. "B-
Bakura inhaled with excitement.
"Oh.wait. That's a smudge. Our new high priest will be the slave Jounouchi!" said the Pharoah cheerfully.
"What!!" yelled Bakura. "A slave! Pharaoh, why not me!? I'm the one who really saves this country when we're in danger! I never get recognized enough for my tributes to the nation!"
This was too much for Bakura, and like a stretched rubber band, he snapped. Almost magically he became disheveled and his once noble eyes turned insane.
"That's it Pharaoh!" yelled Bakura. "I may have not gotten the position today. But eventually I will! Even if I have to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day," he continued as he slowly backed out the main chamber.
"And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next da-
The doors slammed shut.
"Sir," said the scribe. "Talking Papyrus for you sir. (Sort of like a howler.)"
The Pharaoh opened the parchment roll.
"And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the ne-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh!!!" screamed the Pharaoh. "Kaona, lock the doors, bolt the windows, get the swords, no, shields, no, machine guns, no atomic bombs, no, Get me weapon XJ495LZ73A1!"
"But sir!" yelled Kaona. "Are you sure it's nesscecar-
"Yes it is nessar! I know what is nessar! Don't go telling me what is nessar!" said the Pharaoh.
Bakura, who was still talking, was already in the village outside the palace. At the same moment Sakira had finally outrun the guards.
"Hah!" she yelled triumphantly. "You'll never catch me suckers!" she said as she did a celebration back flip. Unfortunately, she miss-calculated and back flipped off the roof.
It was at the very same moment that Bakura backed into the alley behind the building Sakira was on.
"And the next, and the next day, and the next day, and the next-ooof!!!" he said as Sakira landed on top of him.
"Mmmm, fluffy." She said as she ran her fingers through whatever had broken her fall.
"Oh my gosh, it's a guy!" she said, and quickly got off Bakura. "Dude, are you okay?"
"NORWAY!!!" yelled Bakura.
He slowly got up.
He twisted his head so it faced the right way, and looked in her eyes. It was 'love' at first sight.
From that day forward, Bakura and Sakira became partners in plunder.
Background music: A friend is a friend is a friend 'till the end that's forevah! That's forevah!
"You can kill this guard and I'll take the next one." Said Bakura to Sakira as they plundered a tomb.
Once they were done with the guards, they found themselves inside a tomb full of riches. Then, they celebrated.
BM: I'll stay by your side there's no need to ask why cause we're best friends, yeah we're best friends.
"Hey," said Sakira. "What's your name?"
Music stops.
"Bakura." He said.
Music starts.
"I have a question for you," said Bakura dreamily. "What's your name?"
Music stops.
"Sakira." She answered.
Silence.
"Eh hem!" said Bakura.
"Oh sorry," said a random voice.
Music starts.
Back at Kaona's room:
Ring ring! Ring ring!
"Hello?" said Kaona sleepily. It was 2:00 am.
"Hello, Kaona." Said Yami, as he sat down at a table with a girl at a night club. "Yes it's me Yami! I've just met this incredible new girl! She wonderful and..
"That's nice Pharaoh." Said Kaona. "I gotta go by-
"Why must you hang up?" asked Yami.
"Pharaoh!" yelled Kaona through the phone. "It's two in the morning! Why must you keep calling me this late?! I have a stomach ulcer because of you! Can I speak to your lady friend please?"
"Sure," said Yami. "It's for you."
"Hello?' said the girl.
"Listen," said Kaona. "The man you're with is deeply troubled. He doesn't rest well because of a constipation incident many years ago. It forced him to drop out of school. Don't end up like him. Finish high school and figure out your priorities first!"
The girl put the phone away from her ear.
"I think I'm gonna leave." She said.
"Soooo," said Yami. "Did you like her, WHAT did you talk about?"
"Well," said Kaona. "She seemed very nice."
"Oh." Said Yami. "Well that's nice. Goodnight Kaona."
"Goodnight sir." Said Kaona. "Tomorrow we can go retrieve the weapon for your protection, ok?"
"Okay," said Yami. "Bye."
"Bye." Said Kaona.
Chapter ends.
Author's note: Hey, I updated! Although the sites been messing up quotation marks and apostrophes recently. Darn it!
Chapter One: A most odd beginning
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Two weeks notice. Kaona and Sakira are my
cousin's, but Artemis Entrari is MINE!!! So no steal!!
The Pharaoh of Egypt sat in his throne. This was an exciting day. Today he would choose five more wives to add to his 'collection.' Meanwhile, his secretary, Kaona was standing by a pillar with a flyswatter. 'That fly is so interesting.' She thought to herself.
"My Pharaoh," said Yami's scribe. "It is time for you to choose your new wives."
"Very well then." Said Yami. Unfortunately for Kaona, she was standing in the line of brides and didn't know it.
"I'll start from the left scribe." Said the Pharaoh. "No,no,no,no,no,no, YES! No,no,no,no,no,no, YES!" As he did this, the floor underneath each bride would drop into a pit of evil hairstylists if he said "No." Or, it would magically go to the ceiling where the good stylists would 'doll them up'.
"No,no,no,no,no,no, YES! No,no,no,no,no,no, YES! Oh I like her!" he said, pointing at Kaona.
"But she's your secretary!" said the scribe.
"Well then. That's her position? Lowly secretary! Give her a promotion! Make her my chief advisor!!"
"I-I'm sorry what?" said Kaona, finally turning her attention away from the fly.
"Congratulations!" yelled the Pharaoh. "You're my new chief advisor! And my wife!"
"WWWhat!" screamed Kaona as her platform began floating upward.
"Oh and scribe," said the Pharaoh. "Fire my old chief advisor won't you."
"With pleasure sire." Said the scribe.
Five minutes later, a peasant walking in the street yelled, "Hey look everybody! Someone at the palace got fired!" yelled the peasant as he watched a figure being thrown out a window.
Egyptian Market: A woman was running on the rooftops of the buildings in the market. Her name was Sakira. She was a tomb robber. The Pharaoh's guards were after her again. But she knew she could always outrun them. She always did.
Kaona felt like she was having a nightmare. She was forced to help him decide on everything. ( I'm basing this whole thing about Kaona being the Pharaoh's servant on the movie Two Weeks Notice.)
Right now she was helping him decide on a new mattress.
"So, Kaona," said the Pharaoh as he laid down next to Kaona. "What do you think of this mattress for the royal bedroom?"
"Well sir," she said dully. "It's very firm."
"But is it, too firm?" he said as he started bouncing on the mattress.
"Oh my Ra." she said as she watched him.
"It has come to my attention," said the Pharaoh. "That our high priest (Kaiba.) has turned against us and left. I shall now read from this parchment the name of our new high priest."
'This is it!' thought Bakura. 'I'm a shoe-in! Not only am I a close friend of the Pharaoh's, but I'm also the head general, and, I have tons of religious experience!!'
"Our new high priest shall be," began the Pharaoh. "B-
Bakura inhaled with excitement.
"Oh.wait. That's a smudge. Our new high priest will be the slave Jounouchi!" said the Pharoah cheerfully.
"What!!" yelled Bakura. "A slave! Pharaoh, why not me!? I'm the one who really saves this country when we're in danger! I never get recognized enough for my tributes to the nation!"
This was too much for Bakura, and like a stretched rubber band, he snapped. Almost magically he became disheveled and his once noble eyes turned insane.
"That's it Pharaoh!" yelled Bakura. "I may have not gotten the position today. But eventually I will! Even if I have to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day," he continued as he slowly backed out the main chamber.
"And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next da-
The doors slammed shut.
"Sir," said the scribe. "Talking Papyrus for you sir. (Sort of like a howler.)"
The Pharaoh opened the parchment roll.
"And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the ne-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh!!!" screamed the Pharaoh. "Kaona, lock the doors, bolt the windows, get the swords, no, shields, no, machine guns, no atomic bombs, no, Get me weapon XJ495LZ73A1!"
"But sir!" yelled Kaona. "Are you sure it's nesscecar-
"Yes it is nessar! I know what is nessar! Don't go telling me what is nessar!" said the Pharaoh.
Bakura, who was still talking, was already in the village outside the palace. At the same moment Sakira had finally outrun the guards.
"Hah!" she yelled triumphantly. "You'll never catch me suckers!" she said as she did a celebration back flip. Unfortunately, she miss-calculated and back flipped off the roof.
It was at the very same moment that Bakura backed into the alley behind the building Sakira was on.
"And the next, and the next day, and the next day, and the next-ooof!!!" he said as Sakira landed on top of him.
"Mmmm, fluffy." She said as she ran her fingers through whatever had broken her fall.
"Oh my gosh, it's a guy!" she said, and quickly got off Bakura. "Dude, are you okay?"
"NORWAY!!!" yelled Bakura.
He slowly got up.
He twisted his head so it faced the right way, and looked in her eyes. It was 'love' at first sight.
From that day forward, Bakura and Sakira became partners in plunder.
Background music: A friend is a friend is a friend 'till the end that's forevah! That's forevah!
"You can kill this guard and I'll take the next one." Said Bakura to Sakira as they plundered a tomb.
Once they were done with the guards, they found themselves inside a tomb full of riches. Then, they celebrated.
BM: I'll stay by your side there's no need to ask why cause we're best friends, yeah we're best friends.
"Hey," said Sakira. "What's your name?"
Music stops.
"Bakura." He said.
Music starts.
"I have a question for you," said Bakura dreamily. "What's your name?"
Music stops.
"Sakira." She answered.
Silence.
"Eh hem!" said Bakura.
"Oh sorry," said a random voice.
Music starts.
Back at Kaona's room:
Ring ring! Ring ring!
"Hello?" said Kaona sleepily. It was 2:00 am.
"Hello, Kaona." Said Yami, as he sat down at a table with a girl at a night club. "Yes it's me Yami! I've just met this incredible new girl! She wonderful and..
"That's nice Pharaoh." Said Kaona. "I gotta go by-
"Why must you hang up?" asked Yami.
"Pharaoh!" yelled Kaona through the phone. "It's two in the morning! Why must you keep calling me this late?! I have a stomach ulcer because of you! Can I speak to your lady friend please?"
"Sure," said Yami. "It's for you."
"Hello?' said the girl.
"Listen," said Kaona. "The man you're with is deeply troubled. He doesn't rest well because of a constipation incident many years ago. It forced him to drop out of school. Don't end up like him. Finish high school and figure out your priorities first!"
The girl put the phone away from her ear.
"I think I'm gonna leave." She said.
"Soooo," said Yami. "Did you like her, WHAT did you talk about?"
"Well," said Kaona. "She seemed very nice."
"Oh." Said Yami. "Well that's nice. Goodnight Kaona."
"Goodnight sir." Said Kaona. "Tomorrow we can go retrieve the weapon for your protection, ok?"
"Okay," said Yami. "Bye."
"Bye." Said Kaona.
Chapter ends.
Author's note: Hey, I updated! Although the sites been messing up quotation marks and apostrophes recently. Darn it!
