Insanity in Ancient Egypt

Chapter 3: The Untitled (I love my lack of creativity!)

"But Kaona," asked Bakura. "How are we going to not let the Pharaoh know you're gone?"

"Your Millennium Armor of course." Said Kaona as she unlocked the jail cell.

"But what poor sap can we turn into you?" asked Sakira.

Artemis Entrari, the Pharaoh's Greek astronomer, was bored. He was lying on his bed thinking of the many ways he wished he could insult the Pharaoh.

'I mean, what did the Pharaoh know after all?' thought Artemis to himself. 'Always preaching about having faith in the gods.'

What a bunch of trash. Those gods didn't even exist! His gods, the Greek gods, were real. Uh huh, oh yeah. Nothing like a Greek god. And what was with this new religion called Christianity anyway? Those people were poor. They were sooo poor, they only had enough money for one god! The Greeks had a god for everything. Well maybe not sex. (But I heard that's coming!)

Suddenly, Artemis heard a knock on his door. He opened it and saw, to his surprise, Kaona, along with several unidentified friends.

"Kaona?" asked Artemis. "What do you want. And who're they?"

"I'm Bakura, this is Sakira, and this, is my noble twin." Said Bakura.

"Say wha.?" asked Artemis, dumbfounded.

"Can't you read," said Sakira. "It's on our nametags!"

"Nametags?" asked Artemis.

"Yeah," said Yami Bakura. "Take a closer look at my armor."

Artemis bent over and saw, to his amazement a tiny piece of paper that read, HELLO: My name is Yami Bakura.

"Why is it so small?" he asked.

"Well," said Sakira. "We forgot to take them off before we washed our clothes and they shrunk."

"That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Said Artemis.

"The reason we've come here," said Kaona. "Is because we want you to change into me a pretend to be me until we return."

"I have no idea what's going on," said Artemis. "But I'll do it."

And with that, Bakura turned him into Kaona. And the rest left.

It was dawn by the time the four companions left. They were on horseback, moving at a steady pace. That was, until Sakira was bucked off her horse.

"AAAAAAA!!!!" she screamed as she flew a record 130000 feet up in the air. Her remaining companions waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.

Sometime later:

"Is she down yet?" asked Kaona.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-SPLAT!!!!!!" screamed Sakira as she hit the ground at a whopping 2000 mph.

BANG!!!!

"Sonic boom," said Yami Bakura. "Not bad."

"I hate that horse!!" yelled Sakira.

"Well why don't you take Buttercup?" said Bakura offering a trade. "She's a sweetheart." They traded horses.

One and a half minutes later:

"Should we even bother to wait for her to land?" asked Bakura.

"NNNope." Said Yami Bakura and Kaona together.

And with that, they left.

It was about two hours later when Sakira finally landed. This time she managed to create 4 sonic booms.

"You three can't even imagine what it's like to go through the atmosphere!!" she yelled once she caught up.

"You went through the atmosphere?!" said Kaona with worry. "That must have hurt?"

"You have no idea.of the pain." Said Sakira grimly.

At long last they reached Persia. It was time to look for Anzu.

"I really need to go to the bathroom!" begged Bakura.

"Fine!" said his twin.

"And I need to get some water." Pleaded Sakira.

"Fine, fine." Said Yami Bakura.

Sakira approached a water fountain. When she was almost there a man jumped in front of her, and started to drink.

Sakira, who was already in a bad moon, began to tap her shoes at him. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap-

"Hey," said the man turning around. "Don't a stomp your little last season pratta shoes at me haney." He said with a Hispanic accent. He then started to walk away.

"But," said Sakira quietly. "These shoes aren't last season.aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

"Wait a minute!" she said running up to him, it was time for the test. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes." he answered.

"How long have you been dating her?"

"Three months."

"Is she pretty?"

"Yes."

"And your boyfriends name is?"

"Chuck."

People in the market area began to whisper.

"I'm sorry. I was confused. Chuck is just a friend. Just a friend." Said the man.

A man at a table stood up.

"You bitch!" he yelled as he left.

"Chuck come back!" yelled the man.

"That was some nice work back there." Said Yami Bakura. "How did you even know?"

"Oh that's easy." Said Sakira. "What kind of shoes am I wearing?"

"Well," stuttered Yami Bakura. "Uh.um black ones?"

"Exactly. Straight men don't know designers, gay men do." Said Sakira.

"Wait a minute." Said Yami Bakura. "Who's that?"

"That's Anzu!" said Sakira. "Let's get her!"

"She's heading for that bridge!" said Yami Bakura.

Both of them ran for her, but by the time they got to the bridge, she was gone. Instead, it became randomly dark and misty. A man walked up to them. A small nametag on his coat read: Jack the Ripper. If seen, call this number: 1-800-235-EVIL.

"Nice night for a walk isn't it?" he said malevolently as he drew a dagger.

"Oh no you don't!" yelled Yami Bakura as he kicked him off the bridge.

"I'll get you, you meddling kids, and your little dog too." Yelled Jack.

Bakura bent over the bridge. "#*&%!@$%#@-ing loser!" He yelled.

It was then that Kaona and Bakura arrived.

"Sakira!" said Bakura. "You can't be out here there's some dereanged murderer guy on the loose. It was at this that Yami Bakura smiled and pointed at the river below the bridge.

"Kaona," said Yami Bakura. "Help me fish out 'Jack'. Sakira, Bakura, go chase after Anzu."

"Okay bye." Said Sakira. The two tomb robbers chased Anzu through the streets until they reached the desert outskirts.

"It ends here Anzu." Said Bakura, magically producing a guillotine from his pocket.

"Where did you get that?" said Anzu in a snobby voice. "The Pharaoh outlawed those."

"Uhhh," said Bakura thinking. "Internet!"

"I shouldn't have asked." Said Anzu.

Sakira placed Anzu on the guillotine while Bakura got ready to pull the string.

"Any last words?" he asked her.

"Well," said Anzu, somehow getting out of the headlock she was under. "I was wondering if I could give a friendship speech first?"

B/S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B: Are you done yet?

A: Wait, I haven't gotten to the part about courage!

B/S: NOOOOOOO!!!!!

Day Two

S: Are you finished yet?

A: Are you kidding? I'm only halfway through with the part about trust!

B/S: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Day Three

B: Are you anywhere near done?

A: Stop being impatient. I'm still on the part about paying your taxes on time!

B/S: Make it stop!!!

Day Four

S: Please tell me that we're almost done.

A: No. We're only half done. And look, I made friendship cookies!!!

B: Holy Ra! Make it stop!!! The horror!! The NC-17 horror!!!!

Day Five

S: Bakura, make it stop!

B: Can't.evilness.overpowered by.speech..

S: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Day Six

B: Must.draw.happy.dagger.

S: Haven't.worked.out.getting fat.need.Life 'O' Suction!!!

A: I made more cookies!!

B/S: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Day Seven

B: If we make it through this, will you marry me?

S: Sure. And then we can start a "Death to Anzu" club

B: How 'bout we kill her, then create an "Anti Friendship Speech" club

S: Good idea.

A: Who wants to play a game of, Name that Peace Core member?

B/S: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Day Eight

B: Regaining strength.I can finally.stand!

S: Me too!!

"Wow," said Bakura as he took out an axe. "Anzu's wooden necklace is soo fine, I must chop WOOOOOD!!" Bakura charged forward chopping off the necklace, and Anzu's head.

"You did it Bakura!" cried Sakira. "You defeated Anzu!"

"Alright!!" said Bakura.

Anzu awoke. She was in a place of clouds. Sitting next her were Jounouchi and Honda.

"You too eh?" they asked in unison.

"YYYup." Said Anzu.

Meanwhile,

Bakura, and the rest of the gang were on their way home. It was then that they heard Sakira scream again.

"Would you control that damn horse already!!!" yelled Yami Bakura as he watched her fly into the air.

"Trying to control that horse?" said Yami. "He does it to all tomb robbers."

"You are sick!" said Bakura. "Teaching your horses discrimination like that!!"

Yami Bakura, who had just turned around, spat out his water.

"Why is it that we keep running into you people!" yelled Bakura, whacking the Pharaoh in the gut with the handle of his scimitar.

The four companions quickly got their horses to gallop, and they sped away.

Yami, however, wouldn't give up. His voice was hoarse and squeaky as he tried to regain his breath.

"General.get the horses, get the archers, get the chariots, and get me an ice pack!" said Yami.

And so ends yet another episode of Insanity in ancient Egypt! What will happen next time? Is there a diabolical plot? Is the Pharaoh out for revenge? Are our four "heroes" in danger? Why am I asking you all these questions?!