Insanity in Ancient Egypt
Chapter Five: Crusade of the Idiots Part II
The battle continued throughout the streets of Atlantis. The Egyptians continued to destroy buildings.
"Atlantean wimps!" screamed Sakira, as she and Bakura plowed through a wall.
"Oh look," said the Atlantean King. "Angry armies of Egyptians are destroying my city.AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"
"This is it!" said Yami Bakura, using a megaphone. "Lord of Atlantis, we are about to use our most deadly weapon on you and your city."
"Nothing you use can get us!" yelled the King. "We have anti aircraft, anti chariot, and anti infantry weapons!"
"Yes," said Yami Bakura. "But you don't have answering machines. Hit it Pharaoh!"
"You got it!" said Yami, pressing a button.
Atlantean Palace: Ring Ring.
"Hello?" said the King.
"Hello," said a voice. "Would you be interested in paying 2000 dollars for chariot insurance?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" screamed the King, slamming down the phone.
Ring ring.
"Hello?"
"Hello, would you be interested in buying our mattresses?"
"AAAAAAAA!!!"
Ring ring.
"Hello."
"Hello, this is your tax collector reminding you that taxes are due on the twenty first."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Stop the TELEMARKETING CALLS!!!!" screamed the king, falling to his knees. "Take back your technology, and leave us in peace!"
"Alright!" yelled Kaona. "We won! And in less than 45 minutes! We might just make it back in time for my soap!"
The Egyptians got the technology, and left the island, on thousands of small rowboats.
"There's just one last thing I have to do." Said Bakura, pulling out a TNT detonator box. "I'm sinking the island!" Bakura smiled, and pushed the lever.
BANG!!!!
Slowly the island began to sink into the depths of the ocean.
"I'll get you for this!" said the King. "You treacherous Egypti-glug glug glug."
Two days later, the Egyptians returned home. Bakura and Sakira were given an official wedding, with Yami Bakura, as the priest. And, this time, the Pharaoh didn't call Kaona out of the ceremony, seeing as he was there in person.
"You may now kiss the bride." Said Yami Bakura, closing the scroll. Bakura leaned forward, kissing Sakira.
"And now it's time for our entertainment!" yelled Kaona.
"We are the three caballeros, we like to sing and to dance and to party all night long! We are the three caballeros, we like to sing and to dance and to party all night loooong!"
"Wait everybody," said Yami. "Here's a snappy tune about my predecessor, Ramses!" Everyone watched as the Pharaoh place the needle on the record.
Music(Fast beat) "It's RAAAAAmses! The mummy's curse, the mummy's curse! Ohhh RAAAAMses! The mummy's curse, the mummy's curse!"
"Make it stop!" shouted Bakura.
"Guenhyvar," yelled Yami Bakura. "Tactical maneuver 345Y9XJ!"
Guenhyvar growled. She jumped on top of the chandelier hanging above the record player. She aimed, and pounced. Bang!
"Look everybody, the music is gone!" yelled Sakira.
"YAAAAY!" yelled everybody except the Pharaoh.
"Wait!" yelled Yami. "I have a back up record player!"
"AWWW MAAAAN!"
The Pharaoh took out his spare record player a placed in a new record.
Music: I got you babe. I got you babe!
"HOLY RA!" screamed everyone in the room. "IT'S SONNY & CHER!"
"None of you people like my music!" said Yami.
"Well duh!" said Yami Bakura. "You're rich, pompus, and whiny! It's obvious that you have bad taste!"
"Darn it!" said Yami.
The following day was a rather special one. It was not only the day that Yami Bakura was to be officially crowned high priest, but it was also the day on which Bakura, Yami Bakura, Sakira, and Kaona, would be knighted. The knighting ceremony came first, and was held in the throne room. The Pharaoh took out a sword from a glass case.
"I dub you," said the Pharaoh, tapping the sword on Bakura's shoulders, and then on his head. "Sir Bakura Ryou, for the finest plundering in all of Egypt. May you continue onto greatness, in another country.
The Pharaoh then moved towards Sakira, repeating the process.
"I dub you, Madam Sakira, for alerting all of Egypt of the evils of Atlantis." Said Yami.
He then moved to Yami Bakura.
"I dub you, Sir Bakura Ryou, for great militaristic and religious services to Egypt." Said Yami. Yami Bakura smiled.
"And lastly," said Yami, moving to Kaona. "I dub you Madam Kaona, for making some of the wisest decisions I have ever heard.
All four stood up, and the crowd behind them cheered like mad.
Two hours after the knighting ceremony, Yami Bakura's anointment ceremony. It was held in the temple to all of the gods. Bakura was wearing a long, flowing, velvet, and green robe. The Pharaoh then walked up to him, carrying three objects. He first presented Yami Bakura with the two shorter objects.
"I present to you," began Yami. "The Crook and Flail of your center god, Osiris. Do you accept all responsibilities and power that you are being given in this ceremony?"
"I accept." Said Yami Bakura.
The Pharaoh then took out the third object, which was much longer. It was a golden pole, with an Ankh at the head.
"I now give you," said Yami. "The staff of the gods, granted from Ra to Osiris, and then down to Horus, so that he could rid our world of the dark god Set. Do you accept its power?"
"I accept." Said Yami Bakura.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," said the Pharaoh, facing the crowd. "I give you, Bakura, high priest of Egypt!" Everyone clapped, whistled, cheered, or snorted. (Don't ask.)
"Pharaoh," said Bakura, Sakira at his side. "We'll be going now, it's been nice 'working' with you." And with that, they jumped onto their horses, and sped off.
This might sound like the end of our story. And for a while it was. But now, I'll bring you the comic events of each person's life, instead of having them all together.
Author's note: That wasn't funny at all in my opinion, but, next up, Bakura tries to get into law school!! (Yes, it is a take-off on Legally Blonde.)
Chapter Five: Crusade of the Idiots Part II
The battle continued throughout the streets of Atlantis. The Egyptians continued to destroy buildings.
"Atlantean wimps!" screamed Sakira, as she and Bakura plowed through a wall.
"Oh look," said the Atlantean King. "Angry armies of Egyptians are destroying my city.AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!"
"This is it!" said Yami Bakura, using a megaphone. "Lord of Atlantis, we are about to use our most deadly weapon on you and your city."
"Nothing you use can get us!" yelled the King. "We have anti aircraft, anti chariot, and anti infantry weapons!"
"Yes," said Yami Bakura. "But you don't have answering machines. Hit it Pharaoh!"
"You got it!" said Yami, pressing a button.
Atlantean Palace: Ring Ring.
"Hello?" said the King.
"Hello," said a voice. "Would you be interested in paying 2000 dollars for chariot insurance?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" screamed the King, slamming down the phone.
Ring ring.
"Hello?"
"Hello, would you be interested in buying our mattresses?"
"AAAAAAAA!!!"
Ring ring.
"Hello."
"Hello, this is your tax collector reminding you that taxes are due on the twenty first."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Stop the TELEMARKETING CALLS!!!!" screamed the king, falling to his knees. "Take back your technology, and leave us in peace!"
"Alright!" yelled Kaona. "We won! And in less than 45 minutes! We might just make it back in time for my soap!"
The Egyptians got the technology, and left the island, on thousands of small rowboats.
"There's just one last thing I have to do." Said Bakura, pulling out a TNT detonator box. "I'm sinking the island!" Bakura smiled, and pushed the lever.
BANG!!!!
Slowly the island began to sink into the depths of the ocean.
"I'll get you for this!" said the King. "You treacherous Egypti-glug glug glug."
Two days later, the Egyptians returned home. Bakura and Sakira were given an official wedding, with Yami Bakura, as the priest. And, this time, the Pharaoh didn't call Kaona out of the ceremony, seeing as he was there in person.
"You may now kiss the bride." Said Yami Bakura, closing the scroll. Bakura leaned forward, kissing Sakira.
"And now it's time for our entertainment!" yelled Kaona.
"We are the three caballeros, we like to sing and to dance and to party all night long! We are the three caballeros, we like to sing and to dance and to party all night loooong!"
"Wait everybody," said Yami. "Here's a snappy tune about my predecessor, Ramses!" Everyone watched as the Pharaoh place the needle on the record.
Music(Fast beat) "It's RAAAAAmses! The mummy's curse, the mummy's curse! Ohhh RAAAAMses! The mummy's curse, the mummy's curse!"
"Make it stop!" shouted Bakura.
"Guenhyvar," yelled Yami Bakura. "Tactical maneuver 345Y9XJ!"
Guenhyvar growled. She jumped on top of the chandelier hanging above the record player. She aimed, and pounced. Bang!
"Look everybody, the music is gone!" yelled Sakira.
"YAAAAY!" yelled everybody except the Pharaoh.
"Wait!" yelled Yami. "I have a back up record player!"
"AWWW MAAAAN!"
The Pharaoh took out his spare record player a placed in a new record.
Music: I got you babe. I got you babe!
"HOLY RA!" screamed everyone in the room. "IT'S SONNY & CHER!"
"None of you people like my music!" said Yami.
"Well duh!" said Yami Bakura. "You're rich, pompus, and whiny! It's obvious that you have bad taste!"
"Darn it!" said Yami.
The following day was a rather special one. It was not only the day that Yami Bakura was to be officially crowned high priest, but it was also the day on which Bakura, Yami Bakura, Sakira, and Kaona, would be knighted. The knighting ceremony came first, and was held in the throne room. The Pharaoh took out a sword from a glass case.
"I dub you," said the Pharaoh, tapping the sword on Bakura's shoulders, and then on his head. "Sir Bakura Ryou, for the finest plundering in all of Egypt. May you continue onto greatness, in another country.
The Pharaoh then moved towards Sakira, repeating the process.
"I dub you, Madam Sakira, for alerting all of Egypt of the evils of Atlantis." Said Yami.
He then moved to Yami Bakura.
"I dub you, Sir Bakura Ryou, for great militaristic and religious services to Egypt." Said Yami. Yami Bakura smiled.
"And lastly," said Yami, moving to Kaona. "I dub you Madam Kaona, for making some of the wisest decisions I have ever heard.
All four stood up, and the crowd behind them cheered like mad.
Two hours after the knighting ceremony, Yami Bakura's anointment ceremony. It was held in the temple to all of the gods. Bakura was wearing a long, flowing, velvet, and green robe. The Pharaoh then walked up to him, carrying three objects. He first presented Yami Bakura with the two shorter objects.
"I present to you," began Yami. "The Crook and Flail of your center god, Osiris. Do you accept all responsibilities and power that you are being given in this ceremony?"
"I accept." Said Yami Bakura.
The Pharaoh then took out the third object, which was much longer. It was a golden pole, with an Ankh at the head.
"I now give you," said Yami. "The staff of the gods, granted from Ra to Osiris, and then down to Horus, so that he could rid our world of the dark god Set. Do you accept its power?"
"I accept." Said Yami Bakura.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," said the Pharaoh, facing the crowd. "I give you, Bakura, high priest of Egypt!" Everyone clapped, whistled, cheered, or snorted. (Don't ask.)
"Pharaoh," said Bakura, Sakira at his side. "We'll be going now, it's been nice 'working' with you." And with that, they jumped onto their horses, and sped off.
This might sound like the end of our story. And for a while it was. But now, I'll bring you the comic events of each person's life, instead of having them all together.
Author's note: That wasn't funny at all in my opinion, but, next up, Bakura tries to get into law school!! (Yes, it is a take-off on Legally Blonde.)
