Insanity in Ancient Egypt

Chapter Seven: Legally White

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Legally Blonde.

Bakura Ryou was unable to go to sleep. He had been accepted into Harvard, one of the best schools in Egypt. Tomorrow morning he would start the first semester, and live in a dorm for the next three years. He had decided to bring his ferret, fluffy, along with him.

It was a bright and sunny day. Bakura, driving his convertible, and with a U-haul truck behind him, was on his way to Harvard. The trip took him about two hours.

When he pulled up at the entrance, where his stuff would be unloaded, Bakura went to log in.

People around him began to stare, mainly because of his white hair and pale skin.

"Hey Craig," said a voice. "Check out the freak. "Where's the circus, freako?!"

"Hi," said Bakura to one of several check in people. "Um Ryou comma Bakura."

The man stared.

"Um, yeah." Said the man. "Here's your schedule, book list, and key to your room."

"Thanks!" said Bakura innocently.

As Bakura walked up to the entrance of the building that housed his dorm, people began to stare.

"Isn't this exciting Fluffy?" said Bakura. "Don't worry, everyone will like me."

After moving everything into his dorm, Bakura proceeded to his first class. He took a seat in the front row. The professor then walked in. She was a woman about 55 or 60, with fading reddish blonde hair.

Bakura noticed that everyone around him had a laptop. As the teacher began introducing herself, Bakura took out his dagger shaped note pad, and feather pen.

"Now," said the teacher. "The seat you have picked will be yours for the next nine months, of your life." Bakura smiled stupidly.

"And for those of you in the front row." the teacher's voice quieted menacingly. "Beware." Bakura's smile shrank by a few molars.

The teacher then took out a pointer, and thrust it at the words on the black board. "The law is reason free from passion. Does anyone now who recently spoke those simple yet immortal words?"

A man three rows behind Bakura hand shot up. "Aristotle!" he said quickly.

"Are you sure?" said the teacher walking up to him.

"I think so." He said nervously.

"Would you be willing.to steak your life on it?"

"Y-yes."

The teacher walked to a girl two rows forward, and whacked her on the head with a pencil.

"What about.her life?" said the teacher.

"I-I don't know."

"Well.I recommend knowing, before speaking." She walked back to the front. "And you were right.it was Aristotle."

The man breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now." began the teacher. "I suspect that you have read your assignment? Let's call on someone from the hot seat..Bakura Ryou?"

"Oh." said Bakura smiling. "I wasn't aware that we had an assignment?"

"Really," said the teacher. "Mr. Kensington (The male version of Vivian.) do you think it is acceptable that Mr. Ryou is unprepared?"

"No." he said in dull intellectual monotone. "I do not."

Bakura's mouth dropped open in horror.

"Would you then agree with my decision to ask him to leave class until he is prepared?" asked the professor.

"Absolutely." Said Kensington shaking his head.

Bakura was furious. He quickly packed up his things and left the classroom. He sat down on a bench under a tree next to a girl who was writing something.

"Excuse me," she said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Said Bakura. "But do they always put you on the spot like that?"

"Yeah," said the girl. "It's a cratic method."

"Eeeew." Said Bakura.

"So," began the girl, putting down her pen. "You must have Stromwell." DUN DUN DUN!!!! FLASH!!

"Uh." Said Bakura. "Did anyone else hear the dramatic music and see the lightning?"

"Yup." Said the girl. (Whose name is Robin.) "It seems to happen here whenever I say her name. Don't worry. It strictly applies to her. So don't say her name to often."

"Wow." Said Bakura. "I'm glad I ran into you."

"Hey! Bakura! Is that you?" said a voice. Bakura turned. He saw his friend Melanie running towards him.

"Hey," said Bakura. "How are you!"

"Well," said Mel. "I'm getting married!"

"You are!?" yelled Bakura. "Great!"

"So. How was your first class?" asked Mel, who knew the albino well.

"Oh." said Bakura. "It was fine except for this horrible guy in class who tried to make me look bad."

Suddenly, to Bakura's horror, the guy from class walked up beside Mel and put his arm around her. "Hey babe." Bakura stared.

"Oh.Bakura.this is my friend John." Said Mel.

"I'm" said John. "Her fiancé." Suddenly Bakura saw the engagement ring on his finger sparkle.

"I-I'm sorry.I just hallucinated.what?" said Bakura.

"I'm John Kensington." DUN DUN DUN!!!! FLASH!!!!

"Did anyone else hear the dramatic music and see the lightning?" asked Bakura.

"YYYYup." Said Robin, leaving to go to lunch.

"Melanie's told us all about you." Said John. "You're famous at our club." He walked off. Bakura ran off to his sports car and started driving around, tears in his eyes. He finally passed what he was looking for. Osiris's: Dagger sharpenings and buffing.

"Oh thank Ra!" said Bakura, pulling into the shop. He ran inside and found a woman who was eating a doughnut. "Are you free?"

"Yyyyup." Said the woman in an odd accent. "What's wrong with you?"

"I worked sooo hard to get into Harvard!" cried Bakura. "And now there's this awful guy who's completely trying to ruin my life because of my hair color!"

"Shame," said the woman. "But, it happens everyday. I was best friends with a girl named Jane, but then she met Shawn and he kinda kicked me out. And now.I'm a middle aged high school drop out.with stretch marks and a fat ass."

"That's terrible." Whimpered Bakura. "Oh my gosh! Look.there he is..the guy who's ruining my life, and on the first day of school involving little character development! (Detailed no?)"

"I think I can help you." Said the woman. "Take this book and this." The woman then took out what looked like a heavily decorated Easter egg with an Ankh on top of it.

The Holy Hand Grenade: HALLEJUHAH! HALLEJUHAH! HALLEJUHAH!

Bakura looked puzzled. "Nice choir, which one was it?"

"Oh just some random group called the Boston POPS." Said the woman rolling her eyes. "Like they'll ever be famous." (That drum and symbols thing they do for jokes plays in the background)

"Now," said the woman (named Paulette.) "Read the instructions."

"Okay." Said Bakura opening the large book. "Thy shall thy Holy Hand Grenade and place it in thy right hand for lobbing..does it really matter?"

"Nah." Said Paulette. "Just keep readin'."

"Alright." Said Bakura. "Thy shall then countith to five. Thy shall countith in thisith mannerith: One thy, two thy, three thy, four thy, five thy. Then thy shall lob thy Holy Hand Grenade at thy beast."

Bakura then pulled out the Ankh shaped pin and counted. "One thy, Two thy, Three thy, Four thy, Five thy!" He then threw the grenade at John and ducked.

John, idiot that he was, picked it up and said, "Like Ch'ya! I rich!" It was at this moment that the grenade finished counting down and gave off it's warning signal:

HALLEJUHAH!! BLAM!!!!!

John: X_X Bakura: ^___________________^ Paulette: ^^;

"Bye Paulette." Said Bakura looking teary eyed. "Even though I've known you for less than an hour..I'm gonna miss you!"

"I'm going to miss you too you sexy albino boy."

WHOOOOOAAAA lassie!

"Could you just.stop with the touchy." Said Bakura.

"Oh," said Paulette. "Sure. Bye Bakura!"

"Bye!" said Bakura driving off in his car. "I can't wait to see Sakira again.

Meanwhile: Sakira was having a house party. With other men! And Bakura will return in only three hours! GASP!!! IS THE REALTIONSHIP GONNA BE OVER!!!! NOOOOO! Oh well. Just like wait for the next chapter. (Sorry it took so long to update.)

THE END!!! FOR NOW!!!! Note: Soon, this story will become random daily events to make it easier to be funny! Don't worry though. Insanity in Ancient Egypt will never truly change!!!