A Slayers Tea Party
By: SakuraNoChi
Oh and if you are wondering how the Slayers World received all this technology stuff, lets just say The Lord Of Nightmares was feeling generous and POOF! There was technology. O_O;; Sorry for the writer's block, stupid hurricane made my power go out -_-;;
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Chapter 3// Grocery Shopping is NOT for Kids
Little Valgaav started to cry once he heard the words "Grocery Shopping". His mother told him to be quiet because everybody was staring at the little dragon as they walked through the village. Xellos was following them from behind, within Valgaav's shadow. He put some spell on Filia so she wouldn't find out that he was following them. Valgaav's cries turned to giggles as he heard Xellos making fart noises behind them. Filia turned around, afraid that some old pervert was following them, but she saw nothing. They walked into the grocery store and Valgaav once again had another mood swing.
"THIS SWUCKS! I HATE MY LIFE! I WANT CANDY! I WANT A BWABY BLOW POP!" Valgaav screamed. Filia was humming to some strange music, but when she heard the word "blow" escape Valgaav's mouth, another fight started. "VALGAAV!" Filia yelled. "WHAT?!?!?!" the little one responded. "DON'T SAY THAT WORD!""WHAT WORD?""YOU KNOW WHAT WORD!" The fight stopped instantly when Valgaav unleashed his moldy dragon fart again. This was a really bad fart because all the fruit in the shopping cart spoiled instantly. "MWOMMY I UNWEASHED A WATTLESNAKE!" the ancient one screamed with joy. Filia threw all the food into another woman's cart and walked away as if nothing happened.
When Valgaav finally found out how to unbuckle himself from his shopping cart a.k.a. jail cell, he flew off when his mother fighting with the butcher. He stopped at the candy isle and grabbed for a Kit Kat Bar, the last one. But right when he tried to grab it, another child's hand touched it. This child had red eyes, black hair in a messy ponytail and she looked about a year older then Valgaav. The little dragon decided that he needed this chocolate bar so he did his best to flirt with the girl to get it. "Your pwerdy." Valgaav said. "Thwank you" the petite girl said, but she didn't let go of the chocolate bar. When Valgaav's flirting didn't work out he decided to go to Plan B "Do you hwave a wattlesnake?" "No." "I DO!" then Valgaav unleashed another fart, right into the other poor girl's face. The ignorant dragon skipped off with his chocolate bar, and the little girl didn't look so good. Her hair stood up as if she had been hanging outside of a car window for 7 hours at 100 miles per hour. Poor girl.
Valgaav managed to get back in to the shopping cart, unnoticed. Filia walked back to the cart with a load of meat. "EWWWW!!!! I HATE LIVER!!!" Valgaav screamed as he realized the package his mother had been carrying was liver. "You need to eat to grow up big and strong." His mother said sternly. "I'AM STRONGGGG LIKE TARZAN!!!" Valgaav said this while proceeding to rip off his shirt with his bare hands. Filia grabbed his hands and placed them back next to his sides. The little dragon began to scream even more but when he saw Xellos appear right behind Filia he started to giggle. "WHATS SO FUNN-AHH!" Filia turned around and she was face to face with Xellos.
Xellos stood there, smiling like an idiot. Valgaav unbuckled himself and flew right next to him. Filia instantly grabbed her mace and hit Xellos with it. Xellos picked himself up from the ground and said "Oii! Filia that wasn't very nice." "THAT WAS NICE COMPARED TO WHAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT VALGAAV!" Filia screamed. After Filia was done talking Valgaav started to say "MWOMMY IS A WEINERRRR! MOMMY IS A BIG WEINER HEAD! HOTDOG WEINER! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Xellos was trying to hide his laughs from this by covering his mouth but he just had to let it go.
"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" the demon proceeded to laugh as Filia proceeded to kick him. Valgaav couldn't stop saying weiner and you could say it was a living Hell in there. The little girl that Valgaav had farted on walked up to Filia, and she said "Miss, your swon fwarted on me! WOOK WHAT HE DWID TO MY HAIR!" Filia began to start cackling by looking at the little one's hair. There was a demon and a dragon rolling around on the floor laughing their butts off and Valgaav was the only one who was being mature, until he let another fart in the little girl's face. This blew the whole roof off the grocery store. There was nothing left except a little Valgaav who stood there and cried. The poor boy had diarrhea.
Xellos had disappeared and Filia was trying to find a toilet for Valgaav. The former-dragon priestess looked everywhere for a restroom before she just let Valgaav take a dump in the forest. Filia waited outside of the forest because Valgaav convinced her that he was a big boy and he could "shee-ot" on his own. His foster-mother actually agreed to let him go alone so she waited. And waited. And waited. She finally decided to go into the forest and check on Valgaav.
Filia finally found Valgaav but he was doing something totally obscene. Imagine a naked Valgaav crawling up a tree singing "Born to Be Wild" with heart sunglasses. Too make it worse there were campers right under the tree that Valgaav was standing on. The little dragon was about to crap on their tent from 60 feet above. Filia blocked Valgaav's waste from hitting the tent but it hit her instead. "VALGAAV!! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE YOUNG MAN!" the enraged dragon screamed. "HEADIN' FOR THE HIGHWAYYYY!!! OHHH YESH!! VALGAAV IS A SHEXSHY DWAGON!" the little dragon let yet another crap fall on to a squirrel. The squirrel died, instantly.
Filia flew up to Valgaav and grabbed the rebellious dragon. She carried the screaming Valgaav all the way back to her pottery shop. Screaming and pottery hitting the walls could be heard. Valgaav was throwing the pottery, which was pissing Filia off even more. It was going to be a long night.
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So what did you think? I swear I will make the tea party in the next chapter. I hope O_O;;
