Kai: The author is still hiding from herself behind her bed... And yet at the same time, she's managed to get a hold of some paper and a pencil and is writing out the next chapter.

TT: *from another room* Finished! Okay, even if this chappie's terrible, least I tried.

Kai: -_-' *sarcastic* Great. Oh, and on another note, she's not going to turn this into a Kai/Ray fic *shudders* thank goodness. Its sticking with plain Angst, which could either be a bad or good thing...

*a paper airplane hits Kai on the head, followed by a pencil*

TT: Post the fic!

Kai: .........If I say she owns beyblade, will the lawyers come and take her away?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kai slowly made his way back to the hotel. Keeping to the alleys as opposed the crowded streets, he found that he was able to continuing thinking as he headed back.

He'd done it, he still couldn't believe it. He'd gone back to the knife, and run it down his arm, just as he used to. Unconsciously, Kai ran his other hand down the shielded arm in question.

He glared at thin air. How could he do that? Just pick up a knife and cut himself again. Hadn't he gone through this, waged war against himself to stop the habit?

Kai punched the wall next to him, ignoring the graze and slight trickle of blood that resulted.

Kai cursed himself; he didn't want to go through this again! He didn't want to look down at the gauntlets covering his arms, and know they were just hiding fresh injuries.

He didn't want to turn out like Voltaire, hurting people, even himself, like this.

But more than anything else, he didn't want to admit, it had given him relief to do so. He didn't want to have to admit he'd enjoyed the effect it had.

He didn't want to live like this, knowing he hadn't had enough self-control to stop himself.

And that a part of him hadn't wanted to stop himself.

Kai put a hand in his pocket, fishing for the knife. His eyes widened as he discovered it was missing. Which would mean... He'd left it... In the Room... With... Ray...

'Oh no.'

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ray walked into the hotel's restaurant, half-hoping Kai would be telling Tyson to train. No such luck.

Walking up to Max, who was cheerfully eating a sugar-filled meal, Kenny, who was typing on Dizzy, and Tyson, who was coming back from his 6th trip to the buffet table. He waved to them and sat down. "You guys seen Kai?"

Tyson briefly looked up from his plate, "The sourpuss?" The other's winched as food flew out of his mouth.

"Tyson, _please_ don't talk with your mouth full." Kenny begged, flicking a crumb of the laptop's keyboard.

Max turned to Ray, grinning as always, "Why are you worried about Kai? He can take care of himself."

"Yeah, I know but..." Ray paused for a moment, taking a deep breathe, before producing the knife, dropping it on the table as if it were toxic. "He left this in our room..."

Even Tyson stopped eating to stare at the bloody dagger. "You don't think..."

"I don't know, that's why I was hoping Kai was here." Ray sighed, "I'm worried about him."

"Think we should go look for him?" Max asked, the usual smile gone from his face.

"Nah, its not like it would do any good. All he'll do is tell us to go away and that he's 'fine'."

"Maybe he's back in your room, Ray." Kenny suggested, still pale and breathless from the sight of the knife.

Ray nodded, "Maybe... I'll go see." He got up.

"Hey, wait up, we'll come too." Tyson interrupted. Grabbing a few muffins, he followed the others out of the restaurant.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kai snuck into the room. Finding it empty, he breathed a sigh of relief. Now, if only he could find it before Ray reappeared...

Working systematically, Kai began to search through his things. After failing to find it there, he frowned in worry and began to search his half of the room. Becoming more anxious as his search continued without success.

'Where is it? Oh, please don't tell me that Ray found it, I don't want to have to explain myself to them...'

"Looking for something Kai?" The blader in question swung around to face Tyson, along with Max, Ray and Kenny. There faces were oddly serious, even Max's.

Though his face didn't show it, Kai was worried. It seemed as if they knew... But what would they think? He couldn't seem weak in front of his team. In hidden desperation, Kai said the only thing that he could think of, "Hnn."

"Can't you say anything else, Kai?" The dragon yelled all at once.

Kai turned to him, raising an eyebrow in a silent gesture that pretty much meant something along the lines of; 'Like what?'

"Kai, we're worried about you." Kenny explained, adjusting his glasses slightly as the garnet eyes shifted their gaze to him.

"I'm fine." Kai's voice was harsh, "I don't see why you'd think otherwise."

"You're not fine, Kai." Ray's voice was quiet and serious, "We found this. And think you should explain."

And with that, Kai's heart skipped a beat, eyes widening ever so slightly, the only thought that crossed his mind was 'they know.' And he mentally cursed himself.

Because held out in Ray's hand was the bloodied knife.