Stardate 59120.3.

Risa.

Granicus System, Epsilon Ceti B Star. Minshara Class, otherwise known as Class M. Two Moons, both spherical, elliptical orbit. Tropical Climate, minimal landmasses, four oceans, virtually no predatory species. Planetary government the Risa Hedony. Capitol City of Nuvia. Admitted into the United Federation of Planets in 2249. And widely regarded as one of the top, if not the premiere vacations pots in the entire Alpha Quadrant.

Tendi glanced up from her data padd, where the information was scrolling past. "Isn't this exciting?"

"Do you always have to read the guidebooks like that before we make planetfall?" asked Rutherford, glancing at his green-skinned co-worker.

"Of course!" Tendi gushed. "I like to familiarize myself with where I'm going! But just look at some of the data here... local hangouts, cuisine, activities... this is gonna be the best shore leave ever!"

He shrugged, not fully committed, but he had to admire her enthusiasm. "I guess so."

The two ensigns stood in line by the transporter room, which had been in full swing since the U.S.S. Cerritos had entered orbit above the Tropical Paradise that was Risa a few hours ago. Already several ensigns, lieutenants, and others were gathered by the doors, waiting for their chance to beam down to the planets surface. More than a few had already changed out of their typical garb into something more suited to the tropical climate below. There was barely a Starfleet uniform in sight. Civvies and swimsuits were the norm. For her own part, Tendi had put on a navy blue, one-piece swimsuit, and was wearing a wraparound skirt and a wide-brimmed, floppy hat. Rutherford wore a pair of mustard yellow swimming trunks and a pair of sunglasses atop of his head. Both had their bags packed, hanging from their shoulders. Following their conflict with the Texas-class ships, Captain Freeman had ordered a mandatory period of rest and relaxation, and almost two-thirds of the ship were beaming down in the first wave alone. After that, there would be a bit of rotation to ensure the ship was maintained with a skeleton crew. But everyone was getting a least a few days of shore leave and some much needed vacation.

Where they wanted it or not.

Glancing back down the hallway at some raised voices, Rutherford and Tendi spotted their other two bunkmates make their way around the bend. As per usual, Mariner and Boimler were arguing. While this wasn't uncommon, the two couldn't have had more differing views if they tried, they usually were fairly civil when it came to their dialogue. Right now it was starting to sound a little heated, like a pair of Tellarites meeting on their honeymoon. Not a good way to start a vacation.

Boimler was wearing a white Hawaiian t-shirt with a faded red flower pattern, left unbuttoned, hanging from his shoulders, and a pair of dark purple trunks that complimented his hair. They even spotted, to some amusement, he was making an effort to put on suntan lotion already. There was a white dab still on the bridge of his nose. Mariner, of course, had gone for a much more daring look, wearing a scarlet two-piece bikini which showed off her gorgeous physique. Her hair was let down for once. Both had on sandals.

"I still don't get why you don't want to go," Mariner stated, walking at a brisk pace alongside her colleague.

"I have work to get done!" Boimler protested. "Half our technical orders are almost a year out of date. A year, Mariner!"

As usual, she waved off his concerns. "Oh those things are always out of date. Most of the time they only change like, three words, and suddenly it's a whole new manual. Most of the major stuff never changes."

"That's not the point!" the other ensign exclaimed. "Rules do not exist solely for the purpose of making your life miserable, Mariner! They're in place for a reason!"

She scoffed. Loudly. "Sure they are. Just like synthehol is a suitable substitute for the real thing."

"It suffices!"

"Ugh, Boims, I hate to break it to you, but you are like painfully tense... we definitely need to get you down and see a masseuse when we're planet side. I know this great place with some registered Nuvian masseuses..."

He cut her off. "Oh no you don't, Risian Massage Parlors are rife with criminal activity, they have shapeshifters and aliens and alien shapeshifters and I'll go in and get all relaxed and wake up without a kidney!"

Mariner rolled her eyes. "Ugh, fine, no masseuse... but I am not letting you spend your entire trip working either," she quipped, grabbing his padd and chucking it down the corridor.

"Deal with it."


By now, the four ensigns had reached the door to Transporter Room Two, just another group of personnel had slipped through.

"So what are you two going to get up to once we're planet side?" Mariner asked, redirecting her attention to the other two ensigns and pointedly ignoring Boimler as he struggled with his shoulder bag. It could be said he was double-checking his inventory so he was prepared in case anything came up he wanted to be prepared for (bugs, sunlight, jellyfish) but this was not true.

He was triple-checking it.

"Oh we've got lots planned!" Tendi gushed, holding up her padd and bouncing on her heels in excitement. A keystroke later and an itinerary had popped up on the screen. "There's lots of landmarks to visit on the peninsula, like Suraya Bay, Galartha Cliff, Temtibi Lagoon…"

"Oh man, it's a shame we're gonna miss the Festival of the Moon next week," Mariner remarked. Their shore leave was only scheduled for three days and two nights. After that, the Cerritos was breaking orbit for a month long survey of the Dark Wyne Nebula.

"I know, right?" gushed Tendi. "Both moons will be full on the Lohlunat! But yeah, can't make it. Maybe next year. So apart from a bit of sightseeing, the big thing is here, on the second day. In the morning, they take a cruise ship out to Lagoona Reef, then park it and let the passengers go scuba diving! It's so exciting! I've never been scuba diving before. Is it hard?"

"Nah nothing to it," Marine shook her head. "Just breathe through your snorkel. But that sounds awesome, count me and Boims in!"

"When was that decided?" asked the purple-haired ensign at her side, glancing up from his inventory.

"Uh, right now. C'mon Boims, keep up," Mariner retorted, playfully putting the purple-haired ensign in a headlock. He flinched and tried to extricate himself immediately, blushing hotly. While he'd gone semi-used to the idea of being put in constant headlocks as a sign of hazing from the more experienced ensign, he was used to her being fully clothed in her uniform when she did it. Right now, in her downright risqué swimwear, Boimler's face had been uncomfortably close to her cleavage. There was no way their relationship was that comfortable.

"Next!"

Thankfully sparing them a truly awkward moment, the doors of the transporter room slid open, and ensigns Mariner, Boimler, Tendi and Rutherford climbed inside and onto the transporter pad, alongside two other officers. The officer at control efficiently beamed them to the planet's surface. A gentle whirl of light and hum of sound and they were instantly on the planets surface, the transporter having placed them right in front of the resort where they would all be staying. The main building was largely one of gathering, with the front desk partially outside under an overhang, and flanked on both sides by enormous carved status of the horga'hn, an idol found on much of the planet as part of the decor. The air was moist, humid, but pleasantly so, and greenery was in abundance. Sometimes with vines literally winding their way up support columns and creeping along pathways. A cool breeze flowed across the landscape, carrying with it the scent of salty sea air. All in all, definitely the tropical paradise they had been promised.

Tendi was practically giddy. "Oh my gosh there's sand everywhere! I love it!"

Boimler sighed. "And it's going to get everywhere too."

"Right, let's get settled in and then hit the beaches!" Mariner declared.

Starfleet had, of course, booked enough rooms for the whole crew, though as usual, some got more and some got less. This also took a while to get done, given the vacation goers and families who were checking into the very same resort. The hotel concierge took down their names, checked against their list, and handed them a pair of keycodes to their rooms. It was only two, which meant...

Mariner gave a loud sigh as she held up the card with the codes in her hand. "Great, millions of lightyears away from home and we still can't get our own rooms? What, Starfleet couldn't pony up a little more credit to get everyone their own? This is what we get for being a cashless society!"

"Still beats sleeping in a hallway," Rutherford remarked, shouldering his bag. "Guessing you and Tendi get suite 401A, and I room with Boimler next door in 401B?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever!" she flicked the card, but her aim was off, it bounced off of Rutherford's shoulder, and nearly struck Boimler right in the face before he caught it, reflexively snatching it out of the air between two fingers.

Even Mariner was impressed by his reflexes. "Wow, good catch."

"Thanks. Nothing to it," he said, trying to play it off modestly, leaning against the counter. Or he would have, if there had been a counter under his hand when he put his weight into it. Instead, he fell into a potted plant and spent a few moments leaping frantically to his feet and setting the décor back in order. "I'm okay!" he said, somewhat unconvincingly.

A nearby family of Cardassians, who looked wildly out of place in their Hawaiian shirts, caught sight of the whole display. The young boy and girl, who couldn't have been older than ten, pointed and laughed at poor Boimler's expense. The father sighed and grabbed the boys shoulder, steering him away. "Now, Ruga, behave yourself... or we won't be going to the Water Recreation Park today or any day. Do I make myself clear?"

Boimler climbed to his feet, brushing back his purple hair and straightening his shirt, trying to salvage his dignity.


The four ensigns rode the nearby buggy to their accommodations, which was a high rise building with numerous suites, of a similar design to the resorts main building. More horga'hn statues flanked the entryway as they rode the elevator up to the fourth floor. The rooms 401A and 401B were indeed next door neighbors, sharing a common wall, and facing eastwards. The furniture was simple enough, though luxurious by starship standards (and especially by lower deck starship standards). Despite Mariners complaints, even she had to admit the view from the balcony was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was already high in the sky, and there wasn't a cloud in sight of the tropical blue sky, just miles and miles and miles of cobalt waves and cyan skies that seemed to stretch on forever. Plus, facing east meant they'd get a prime view of the sunrise tomorrow.

Mariner and Tendi seemed to universally agree unpacking could come later, and simply dumped their bags on one of the beds, memorized their door code, and hopped out of their room ready to hit the beach. They stood in front of the door to their comrades room for a good ten minutes before Mariner gave it a light kick. "C'mon, you slowpokes! You can sort your underwear later!"

The two young men swiftly exited their room, the paler Boimler looking a little redfaced, causing Mariner to smirk. She'd been right on the money.

The four ensigns caught the buggy back to the main compound and disembarked. As they did, they spotted a familiar couple just exiting the main building, heading down another path. It was a big, burly Bajoran fellow with gray hair and a distinguishing facial scar, wearing a yellow speedo that showed off quite the impressive physique. And beside him, in a dark blue two-piece and a lighter-blue beach shawl, was a short-tailed Catian with orange fur and a surprisingly gentle, even fond expression on a face that was usually a lot more sour and ruffled.

"Hey, isn't that Shax and T'ana?" asked Rutherford.

"Awww, they look so happy together!" Tendi gushed, clasping her hands and leaning her head into the shoulder of the nearest individual beside her, which just happened to be Rutherford.

"Wonder where they're headed?" asked Boimler.

Mariner tilted her head, narrowing her eyes, which then abruptly widened when she saw the sign at the end of the path the two were walking. "No where we want to follow them," she quickly said, grabbing Rutherford and Boimler by the shoulder and ushering them along. Tendi followed, puzzled as she glanced back. Then she saw what Mariner had seen, the sign in the direction Shax and T'ana were headed.

The sign proudly declaring, in English and a few alien languages, that it led to the Nudist Beach segment of the Risian resort.


By the time the ensigns from the Cerritos Lower Deckers had reached the main beach, the early morning crowds had died down to more manageable levels, other beach goers have long since decided to head home for the day or try some other aspect of the resort. There were still quite a few of them milling about, including several small families, but nothing as crazy as it could get at the height of vacation season. Meaning there was more than enough space to set up some of their towels and for Boimler to plant the beach umbrella he'd brought, emblazed with the Starfleet logo. Mariner just raised an eyebrow at his blatantly announced Federation obsession, but shrugged and let it go (this once) as she and Tendi took turns apply suntan lotion. Rutherford and Boimler did the same. Nobody wanted to cut their vacation short because of some sunburn. Not that there was too much risk of that here. Risa, like most modern Federation planets, had a weather control system that, amongst other things, had an atmosphere filter to screen some of the more harmful effects of solar radiation. As the saying went, you didn't burn on Risa, you tanned.

That finished, Mariner and Tendi hit the waves, diving in like a pair of dolphins then re-surfacing, laughing as they splashed back at one another in the ankle-deep shallows. After a while, they even convinced Boimler to join them, and he took to it reasonably well. The relaxed atmosphere of the planet was working its wonders on him as it had so many other guests in the past. Only Rutherford declined to join, settling back on his towel and staying dry for the moment. He leaned back, relaxed, and enjoyed the view. He even cycled through a few different spectrums with his implant to get the full experience.

The fact that his eyes kept straying to the young, pretty, green-skinned Orion girl in her lovely blue, skintight one-piece bathing suit... surely a coincidence.

After a while, Rutherford busied himself at the waters edge with a different recreational pastime, building a sand castle. Or more precisely, using a piece of driftwood he'd found to carve out a near-replica of the U.S.S. Cerritos warp core and dilithium matrix. He was halfway through when a pair of fuschia alien children went sprinting past, spraying sand into the air and wrecking his carefully made creation.

"Sorry mister!" "Yeah sorry mister!" they called to him as they kept running.

"Awww, man," he muttered. He then started all over again.

A little tired of some of the splashing the girls were still getting up to, Boimler had wandered a bit further down the beach, taking a moment to bend over and collect a curious sea shell that had caught his eye. It turned out to have been a lifeform, something analogous to a hermit crab, and it lightly clawed at his finger with a snap, making him yelp and drop it. From nearby on a trio of beach towels, a couple of bikini-clad girls giggled at his expense, sharing knowing looks amongst themselves.

"Oh he's so handsome," one whispered breathlessly to her friend.

"And I don't see him with anyone," another said. She called out to Boimler. "Hello there! Nice day we're having, isn't it?"

He blinked, surprised at being addressed by total strangers. "Uh yes, yes it is. I hear the forecast is supposed to be for clear skies all day, actually."

Boimler tipped his head to them politely and went on his way, ignorant of their longing looks as he passed by.

"And this is why I definitely prefer starships," he said, idly brushing some sand off the front of his beach boxers.


Authors Notes:
I won't even begin to mention (more like list) all the various Star Trek mythology gags and in-jokes that will crop up in this story. True fans of the show (or Trekkies, as some label us) will spot at least most of them. Plus that's half the fun of Lower Decks in general, which is an awesome show. I'd been wanting to do a fanfic about it for ages now. And where better to send our favorite Lower Deckers than Risa, the beach planet of fun and fanservice?

Special thanks to ColdFusion180, who helped inspire me to write this. Go check out their own Lower Decks works on this website. All top notch quality.

Also, full credit to the artist who did the fan art that eventually became the stories cover, Cheunchin. Check them out on DeviantArt.